Sinister: the end of something?

[Rachel]

Watching fans only has made me think a bit. Think a bit about the past
mainly. It has made me remember an obscure little band that very few people
knew about to be. An isolated kind of thing where we'd shut the curtains
late at night and put on some CDs and drink some wine.

I remember the night we punched the air and screamed in amazement as we
watched the Brit awards. Actually believing that the people upstairs might
understand why we were so excited. It was at that point that it seemed that
the whole world knew our well-kept secret. It was the first time I'd seen
anyone from the band. We laughed at how surprised we felt and how surprised
they must have felt, then punched the air and screamed some more.

And later I remember the days before we moved. The end of an era. The days
when I first heard Lazy Line Painter Jane. I remember dancing around the
kitchen of the upstairs flat swotting the flies that had made homes for
themselves that hot sweaty summer. Packing up all our worldly belongings
preparing for the big move north. I remember the feeling of excitement too
and the pride I felt that I shared the surname with the singer, not to
mention the fear and the regret.

It was the beginning of something.

Sometimes I feel that I have never really moved on from that time, that
things will never be quite as good as they were then. I look around myself
and I'm not completely sure how I ended up here.

Other times of course, I know that they have. Moved on that is. I just need
to look around myself at, the friends I've made, and the things I've doing
and have done to prove that to myself.  Maybe I still don't talk to people
quite as much I'd like, but now I know places where I can go find people who
'll smile. And I'll remember picnics and gigs and trips to Belfast.

And I'll remember that THIS is the beginning of something.


Take Care
Rachel


*************
If you're any sort of hero, you'll be fighting for what you believe in.
You'll get tired, and worn down by the world. There's always somebody to
tell you you're wrong....You can't always save the world.
But you're a hero, so that won't stop you trying.
http://www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk

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