Sinister: I see your "!!!" and raise you a "GUH?"

[Laura Llew]

GayJay Ink Polaroided:
"Laura's back. She's walking off with a boy. She seems to like him, but my 
Spidy Senses are activated. He had a weak handshake and that always bodes 
ill. And he's burly with the look of a man who's killed a wild animal in his 
life. I decided to keep an eye on him. But Llew Llooks happy."

The last time that Jaykins went about using his free time productively by 
writing fictional tales of me in New York I believe I requested that he put 
me in a pair of "smart Manolo Blahniks." What do I get instead? A lecherous 
looking lad. Oh sure, truth be told, he looked as if he might kill a child 
if so provoked but I usually seek that out in a boy.

I'm guessing that Jay was so mean in his description of a boy he once even 
referred to as "really cute" because aforementioned boy didn't seem to 
return my affections after I've had a mad crush on him for four years. I 
suppose I could do the same - wax on about how you think someone is all love 
and light and instead they turn out to be full of gravel kisses. Or say that 
I responded quickly with a, "Not one you'll be tasting again!" before 
stepping on to the F train to whisk me safely away from Brooklyn when he 
asked about what kind lipbalm I had on. However, none of that would be true.

Perhaps it's the Woody Allen take on the old Groucho Marx joke that I just 
don't want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a 
member which causes rejection to only make me like someone more. But I 
couldn't say one bad thing about him. Not about his warm brown eyes with 
those fantastically long lashes that only boys ever seem to have. Or the way 
my breath would catch just whenever I was around him. Well, once I got up 
the courage to be around him as the first time he looked my way in a crowded 
bookstore I dashed away in the other direction because he was the cutest boy 
I had ever seen and the thought of actually being within five feet of him 
made me too weak in the knees to do anything but run away. Or the fact that 
he was just this really quiet clever standoffish bookstore boy who seemed to 
watch the world just as warily as me and I had this notion that maybe we 
could just do what we had always done alone - only together.

Of course, I might not be able to be so calm about the fact that there's 
this huge void in my life where four years of incredibly close friendship 
and crushing have been except for a foxy girl with her hair in a cute bob 
who was working her specs appeal at the Dorothy Parker festival who held my 
hand after seeing me so sad. (Mmm, girls with glasses = yum.) By the time, 
we ended up in her bed with her pulling me in the rejection pains seemed 
very far away. Yes, that might have speeded up the process indeed. Just as 
her quite large boyfriend who was - for some reason - quite angry with me 
expedited my departure from New York that next morning.

But I'm still heartbroken. Really, I am.

In Belle & Sebastian related and very delayed Prospect Show reporting back 
news, I'm saddened that something rare and fantastic like  Lord Anthony 
wasn't played at the Prospect Park show. Of course, I've come to realize 
that I won't be fully happy until I hear them play the exact same set they 
played at the Bowlie. (I think "Slow Graffitti" is the most ideal opening 
song.) And, well, have it played in my bedroom. However, at the NY show 
Stuart did watch his mouth at the end of The Boy With The Arab Strap. He 
skipped the part about "wanking" because there were children around. Sure 
those Californians got rare ear candy but I got a glimpse of Stuart's soft 
side.

Hmm, what else? Oh, I went to find the Sinister picnic, only to give up 
after seeing no one twee enough. Instead, I wandered around Prospect Park 
aimlessly while listening to wafts of B&S songs drift through as they did 
their soundcheck. I decided to get in line early so I could get a good spot 
on the hill when lo & behold the sinister picnic came to me. Only, it wasn't 
a sinister picnic. It was Bowlie Kids (except for Aruni who is on both. 
However, I was the only sole sole sinisterine there) who were snotty about 
the sinister list. I stared at my shoes a lot. Thus, I'm still quite 
perplexed about why everyone is always so excited about these sinister 
picnics, even if my favorite sinisterine did happen to be there.

Later, I was joined by two other of my most beloved Sinisterines as I got to 
see the show with GayJay & Eric. It wasn't the best performed show I've ever 
been to but it was definitely the one I've enjoyed the most - as it was just 
lovely to listen to one of my beloved groups while sitting on the grass 
eyeing a foxylicious gayboy (who brought bubbles to the show!) out of the 
corner of my eye while sitting under the trees. Plus, afterwards I met up 
with my favorite person in the entire world whose birthday was that day so I 
was completely charmed that I got to spend at least a few minutes with him. 
Jay was right about one thing in his ink polaroid - I was happy. (At least, 
until my heart was ripped out and STOMPED STOMPED STOMPED a few days later.)

pretty in pink,
Ll

ps - I adore the new album's new cover. Then again, I'm a sucker for 
orange... and girls with short dark hair.. and  Well, yeah - I like it.

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