Sinister: easily beats loving yourself

[ian]

(by the way, if you're looking for THE POINT, scan down a page or so)

hello my darlings,

i wonder how you are these days?  how you've grown?  whether you're happier
than you were?  whether you're wearing clean underwear now?  i've told you
its important.  you never know when you'll need to be wearing clean
underwear.

i wanted to talk to you about many things.  however, i'm not going to.  this
is partly because of the vast amount of cheap, cheap, cheap white wine still
sloshing its way through my system from last night and partly because of
that bloody tim burgess album in the next room... i'm meant to be reviewing
it but bloody hell its -

aahh, that's better.  silence.  silence is nice, but silence can stop you
from doing all the things in life you'd like to.

anyway, there was a point to this.  so i'll come to it.

THE POINT:-

as you may or may not have noticed a certain scottish pop/rock/beat combo
will be releasing an album in the very near future.  us chaps at friends of
the heroes (www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk, that's
www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk ) have decided to mark the occasion with an
issue devoted entirely to b&s, and we'd like you to help.

no doubt you're already jumping up and down in excitement at the prospect,
and wondering how best to go about this... so i won't keep you in suspense.

we're still planning the issue, but it seems likely that there will be an
article on 'b&s moments' (this will, of course, have a better title.
perhaps taken from some of the comments you lot will send in.  you will, you
will, you will, you will...)
this can be anything - the moment you fell in love is a good one.
preferably with the band, although it could be the moment you fell in love
with your wife/ pamela anderson/ pvc/ pingu if you really want, as long as
you relate that back to the MUSIC.
perhaps there are lots of moments where you fell in love with them.  you
don't only fall in love with a thing or a person once, you have to keep
doing it over and over again otherwise you forget why you loved them.  tell
us about those moments when they made everything click, and feel right, and
gave you hope that you didn't have just a second before.
or, tell us about trying to fuck to 'space boy dream'...its your decision.

we also have a PROBLEM PAGE.  recently, this has been run by sister janice
slejj, space travelling, disco-loving, alternative-gardening nun but it
will, for one week only, be written by a special guest (errr...some of you
may think the guest is more special than others, all i'm saying is that its
a semi-regular sinister poster and she LOVES YOU).  this guest wants you to
write in with belle and sebastian related problems...

for example... 'i can't concentrate on my quantum physics p.h.d. because i
keep thinking about the way isobel campbell holds her cello'; ' i have been
spending too much time sleeping at bus stops, wondering how i got my name
and what i'm going to do about it'; 'i am an indie-boy, she says i'm too
skinny...boy'*; 'stuart murdoch says if i don't bugger off, he'll get a
restraining order'
that sort of thing.  you can send them to either
ian at friendsoftheheroes.co.uk or rachel at friendsoftheheroes.co.uk and we'll
forward them on.

we're also thinking of doing a b&s anorak's page.  full of really, really
useful things you didn't know about the band.  while we're capable of doing
our own research (honest!) anything you could help us with would be nice...
any websites, sources of info, or just things you want to share (not LIES
preferably, unless they're really good/exciting/pervy  ones.  ken, any more
pictures of you in that pvc catsuit will be sent to your employers)

oh, and at SOME point, we're hoping to get hold of a copy of the bloody
album.  it looks like all you other buggers have got one first.  failing
that, we'll have a b&s issue without a b&s review.  but hey that wouldn't be
such a bad thing, why conform to expectations anyway??

so, that was THE POINT.  please write to either me, dimitra daisy, rachel
sunnyset or grainne grainney (why don't you have a funny list-name?)
off-list with any thoughts, suggestions, or random abuse.  actually, send
random abuse to dimitra.  she loves it.

THE POINT being over, i'll move on to BESIDE THE POINT

where is that, beside the point?  clearly, its close to the point but people
seem to think it isn't a great place to be.  but if you can see the point
from there, it can't be that bad, can it?

anyway:

BESIDE THE POINT

robin stout said:

4. I wonder who gave me *another* list crush?

5. I wonder if it was Ian Anscombe..

*another*?
well, actually, robin i'd been saving myself for a tall, buffed, blonde
bronzed adonis, but as casarotto keeps rejecting my advances i suppose
you'll do.  you'll need to earn it, mind.  but it'll be tax free, on your
back.  not too difficult, once you've learned to relax.
don't complain.  you've no IDEA what i had to do for MY vote.  which i've
probably lost by now.

and then he said:

6. Where did I put my glasses?

7. Oh, there they are!

i know, i'm always leaving things up there too.


i also wanted to say that i'm REALLY JEALOUS of jamie and all the rest of
you who are getting to see camera obscura in the Fair City Of Nottingham
tonight.  i was going to join you but i'm completely and utterly BROKE.
robin was right when he said their album was very good INDEED.  (there's
another review here
http://www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk/reviews/music/week27.html
although you might think 'very good indeed' is better.  there, i've
mentioned friends of the heroes twice in an e-mail now, rachel.  can i
please have my complimentary badge-and-vibrator set?  and don't pretend you
don't know what you're talking about, because dimitra has shown me hers.)

i wish i was as cool as SOME people, who get mentioned on the
'underachivers....' (do we have a rude acronym for that?) sleeve notes (take
a look, you'll see who i mean..).

finally, its great to see all these good reviews for the new BELLE AND
SEBASTIAN album.  perhaps very soon, i'll have to stop talking about the
likes of camera obscura and saying 'they make me feel like b&s used to' and
i'll just say 'they make me feel like b&s do'.
 wouldn't that be something?  the (electronic) rennaissance starts here.

oops, that wasn't the final bit, this is:  aislers set - glasgow...who's
going?  what are you doing?  can you recommend somewhere very cheap to stay?
is there a picnic?  tell me, cos i'm going to have to start saving (or
working out someone to borrow money from) NOW.

so, dears, that's our manifesto, pencil in a date, let me know when
something gives, i hope its not too late.

i love you all and i kiss you all.  yes, even you..
i am not the milkman of human kindness, but if i was i'd leave you an extra
pint.

xx
ian

*stolen from archel playforth, of course

P.S. if you'd like a space-travelling disco-loving alternative-gardening
agony-aunt nun to solve your problems live on the modern interweb for
everyone to see, please write to sister janice.  it'll help to break up all
the hard-drinking: the_space_shed at yahoo.co.uk

P.P.S. that's the last plug this mail, i promise.

P.P.P.S. that just begs for a pun about butt-plugs, but i'll leave that to
jay.  consider that a challenge, dear.


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