Sinister: Which Backstreet Boy do YOU want to sleep with?

[a.s.t.r.i.d at xxx.com]

Sinister!

I am back, and I'm not going anywhere.

I am skipping class in this very moment, but I was late
anyways and who gives a fuck anyways, huh? I hear the
"aaah!" from my imaginary daytime-talkshow-audience.

Last night I had the best conversation with Amanda on
the phone. We were just having the usual conversation
about our future career as the world's greatest band,
rock men and The Simpsons when everything turned very,
very, weird indeed:

Amanda: I know you wanted that guy we met before
meeting Stevie and Sarah.
Me: The guy with the "I'm Twee" t-shirt?
Amanda: Well who else. There were only weird record
company women and him there.
Me. True. Well, hell yeah woman! Of course I wanted
him, he was lovely.
A: are you saying you would've had sex with him there
if you could?
M: I'm not saying anything woman. I'm just sayin he was
a might fine man... AND I WOULD, BUT ON A BACKSTREET!
A: EW! Really?
M: Nah, I'm just trying to gross you out. 
A: You did. And because you said backstreet, I'm afraid
we have to choose a Backstreet Boy to have sex with in
a dark... backstreet. 
M: Fuck off!
A: I'd choose Nick.
M: But...
A: It's alright, you can choose him to.
M: I don't want to sleep with any of them, they are the
ugliest people on earth. Urgh. But ok, thanks.
A: You could always get... Howie!
M: AHHH!  In that case, you'd get Brian!
A: Well, he'd be my second choise.
M: SHUT UP! You've even thought about this before. I
didn't even like the Backstreet Boys when I was ten
years old and had a crappy taste in music. But Brian?
COME ON! He looks like some sort of overgrown freaky
baby, especially when singing those high notes.
A: True.
M: The Backstreet Boys... Amanda, Amanda, where is this
going? 
A: I don't know. I just wanted to ask.
M: Hmmm. I'm worried about you. Anyways, did you see
the new Simpsons episode?
A: Ah yes, how good was that?
M: It was really fucking good tonight. There were too
many good parts. I loved the part when the ushers at
the cinema had to chase Homer away from the movies with
movie-sized Kit-Kats. 
A: Oh yeah, that was brilliant. I love The Simpsons.
M: Me too. Have you seen the commercial?
A: When Homer's freestyle-playing the banjo with a
poisonous snake?
M: Yep!
A: I wish I could watch The Simpsons all the time.
M: Me too. You want to hear our next big hit?
A: Oh yeah, sure. Is it the one that sounds a bit like
Interpol?
M: The very same
[guitar and singing break via phone]
M: Let's listen to the reindeer section.
[quiet, whilst putting on record. Listening for a wee
bit.

Simultaneously:
Me: Uh huh! Yeeeeeh, feelin the flow feelin the flow...
you ain't got no leeeegs... huh huh huh... we will rawk
ya... WOOOORLD!
Amanda: Sing it y'all... yes yes y'all... uh-HUH! The
Phoners! BLING BLING!

...

Me: did we just to a really frightening hip-hop jam? 
Amanda: I'm afraid we did. 
Me: But then, we always do. 
Amanda: Yeah.
Me: We need a hip-hop alter ego to go by. 
Amanda: Yes yes y'all. RepreSENT!
Me: Get ready for The Phonizzlas world!

[fits of giggles for about ten minutes]

Me: Do you really think we'll take over the world with
our super catchy music?
Amanda: Have you ever doubted it?
Me: I've had my moments. But in my heart I knew all
along that we're good.
Amanda: Good. Because we are.

----------

That was all of the egocentric, perverse and bizarre
The Phoners-conversations for now, people.

To conclude: Amanda and I are smug and bizarre and
would say no to any Backstreet Boy in any backstreet
any day. 

And the reason I'm not in Natural Science is because
the teacher is Swedish, this is an English school and
he simply CANNOT speak English. He's making up words.
We're spending a billion weeks (or four) on waste water
treatment plants, and I am not in the mood for learning
about "sandfangs", "flockolation" or "bassangs". 

So til next time.

Astrid
xx

Ps. A shout out to my homiez (notice the z): Anders,
Chris, Dirty Vicar, Fran, Ruffy and all the others. 

---------------------------------------------------
Who would you rather be - Ted Danson or Kevin Costner?

Fab: Who the fuck is Ted Dancer?

Ted Danson.

Fab: Oh, Danson.

Nick: I think Ted Danson wears a toupee.
______________________________________________________________
For up-to-the-minute music news, reviews and specials visit
http://www.nme.com

Get free e-mail (anyname at nme.com) now at http://www.nmemail.com

The sender of this e-mail is NOT an employee or associate of NME,
nme.com or any other IPC magazine.
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+