Sinister: Barely legal man

[kenneth.chu at xxx.org]

Hello everyone,

How are my dear spring chickens?  Imagine chickens on springs!  Tied to
their skinny stick-legs, haha they'd all be like bouncing up and down and
have lots and lots of fun like the whole world is a bouncy castle!  Until
somebody starts to cry Fowl Play.

I think chickens are one of my favourite things.  When they're wee they're
these tiny little yellow furry thing and they cluck around and eat bits of
seed and rice, and they run around sometimes but not so fast that you can't
catch them.  We used to have wee chickens as a pet in our house in a 16th
floor flat, but one day one of them committed suicide by jumping out the
window... it was quite traumatising!

And then when chickens grow up they turn into these ugly cocky bastards,
sounds like a bad thing but NO because NOW YOU GET TO EAT THEM!!!!   Yummy.


BELLE AND SEBASTIAN CHICKEN

Apparently, there was this one time, Belle and Sebastian went to New York
and they were having the time of their lives - shopping, playing football in
central park, getting drunk on long island iced tea - so much fun.  So
towards the end of their trip, they celebrated the good time by having a
feast!

The dinner party was all fun and games, stuart joked about isobel filling
her fat base with different kinds of cake, she was a bit bummed about that
but she really just turned the other cheek, and they sang all their songs
and everything before the main course arrived - a gigantic chicken!!

The chicken looked so tasty, but just as Stuart started to cut up the
chicken, one of them started saying how everyone needs to get an equal
portion, otherwise it's just not fair.  And the whole band got into a huge
row!!!  They all argued about how the chicken should be cut up.

Stuart wanted everyone to have exactly the same amount of each bit, so each
person would have 2/8 of a chicken leg and 1/8 of the chicken torso etc.
But that involved too much maths, and they'd rather have some poetry and
music and laughs.

Mick suggested that whatever bodypart that each person has out of the whole
group should have the chicken's counterpart of that bodypart.. Isobel
disagreed, and Stuart David commented that he should have the whole thing as
he obviously had the biggest cock.

The argument went on til the twilight hours and Sarah got fed up and threw
the chicken into a blender and everybody got an equal portion of cold,
greasy minced chicken.  It was a sad end really to a great trip.

Stevie later wrote a song about it - it's actually on track 10 on TWATTYBUS!


MILKING TIGER LACTATING CHICKEN

Have you guys heard about this Tigermilking club that's happening this
Saturday night at the Betsey Trotwood??  Starting at 8pm - You get to DANCE
WHILE KEN CHU DJs!!!!  Holy shit.  I hope my DJing will be good enough to
make you all come.

Will you be coming?

Good question.
Ken
P.S. has any of you ever sung that Heaven 17 tune "Temptation" but changed
the word to "Lactation"?  It's really fun.


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