Sinister: Bound And Gagged

[Caitlin]

ANSWERS

Stout, Robin, recently wrote:

> Has anyone bought the new single yet? Reviews please!!

Not to be outdone, Grivi, Anders, went on with:

> because B&S has released a new EP and nobody's mentioned it! (I  
> think..?)

Being a BIG GEEK, I hotfooted it down to my local megacorporate, soul- 
sucking dehydrated recordchainstore on Monday to get a copy.  Not only  
did I buy the record, I bought it on two formats.  It wasn't planned,  
though.  Fossicking around the pitifully-small singles section, I  
discovered the 7" vinyl version first.  Woo, thought I, 99 pence.  Has  
to be a bargain.  May as well get it if I can't find the CD.  And then,  
I *did* find the CD, so (after many minutes of...

THE PLAIN PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET WRITE:

Get on with it!


I will, I will, I promise.  You get a jam doughnut if you Spotted The  
Reference, incidentally.  I'm sure lots of you will have, because  
you're intellectuals like that.

As I was saying, I ended up buying both Just Because.  Partly, I was  
quite impressed that my local hyperdehydrated sterilised multinational

THE PLAIN PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET WRITE:

You did that bit!


Oh yes.  I did.  I was quite impressed that they still sell vinyl 7"  
records, is what I was saying.  I'm sure they didn't use to.  I'm so  
old I remember when Woolworths stopped stocking 7" singles - in their  
big final sale I bought one by Ace Of Base and another by Four Non  
Blondes.


Plain People of the Internet: was there supposed to be a point to this  
post?  Because, you know, we could be downloading porn or something  
instead of reading this drivel.

Yes.  The new single.  B&S go disco funk, apparently.  I never like  
labelling things, because I always end up getting it wrong.  Back when  
I worked in a library, I had a long argument with a cataloguer as to  
whether a particular book should be filed under PS ("American  
literature") or H-something ("Business administration").  It was a  
business administration textbook written in the form of a novel, you  
see.  Not a very good novel.  Worse than Mills and Boon, even.  If you  
drive down the M6 (Toll)...

Plain People Of The Internet: our hands are hovering over the delete  
button, you know...



YOUR COVER ARTWORK'S BLOWN

I don't care really about B&S trying to "broaden their musical  
style" ((C) Alexis Petridis, probably), because personally I like an  
entire 387 genres of music.  Nothing more, and nothing less.  What I do  
care about, though, is their cover art.  Stu M's holiday snaps, mmm.   
Beanz wearing an arab strap - mmmmmm.  Isobel's red leather jacket -  
actually, is it leather or PVC?  I really don't know.  We should be  
told, you know.  Anyway, the point I'm slowly getting to is: what are  
all those books on the record sleeve?  What does it tell us about the  
band?  Here, push this button.

Plain People Of The Internet: What, this button.

Yes, that button.  Let's take a closer look!



STRANGE VIDEO ZOOMY EFFECT

Now, who would live in a record sleeve like this?  Let's look at the  
evidence.  There's lots of books on the back, here; what do they tell  
us?  "We Learned To Ski".  We did, did we?  "The Bedside Guardian 35" -  
clearly some leftwing socialist subversion going on.  "War And Peace In  
The Sudan" - are there some interesting colonial exploits somewhere in  
the band's history?  "Bound And Gagged" - clearly, the whole band are  
perverted kinky fetish perverts.

Plain People Of The Internet: Like you, you mean?

I'll have you know that that investigation was dropped, and I proved to  
the officers' satisfaction that those chains and padlocks in my bedside  
drawer were for entirely legitimate activities.  So there.  And don't  
let anyone tell you otherwise.


KEATS AND CHAPMAN

Watching Glastonbury on the telly fills me with longing.  Not to go to  
a festival, god no, it would be an awful place filled with smelly  
hippies and annoying people.  No, I want to be in a band.  I want to  
play something wonderful in time with the rest of the band, turn round  
and smile at my bandmates because we're creating something great.  I  
want to be on stage, and inspiring people to write shite like this on  
the interweb.  I want to be in a band.

I'm not planning to go down to my record shop for a few months now.   
The Aberfeldy album doesn't come out until September, sadly.  If you're  
never heard of Aberfeldy, go and find something out about them.   
Although there is a new Hidden Cameras album due out before then.  That  
could be tempting.

Nobody has read this far, have they?  I should have mentioned Aberfeldy  
at the start.


xx
Caitlin

--
http://www.joannou.net/topofthestairs/


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