Sinister: Sting bean jean (part 1 of 3)

[kenneth.chu at xxx.org]

Hello you sons of bitches,

How are you?  Can't be that well since I've just insulted all of you by
suggesting that you are the offspring of female canines.  And also half of
you further by insinuating that you are in fact not girls, but boys!  Take
that.

I just got stung by a wasp this morning.  The cheeky fucker.  In fairness it
was in self defence because I was too sleepy eyed to see it this morning and
stepped on it by accident - but what the fuck was it doing lurking on my
kitchen floor?

I tried to take my mind off the pain by occupying my thoughts with mental
exercises, so I tried to think of every word in the English language that
rhymed with "luck", and I could only think of "Fuck", so I shouted that out
repeatedly, whilst curled up on the floor holding my left middle toe.  I
don't think it could have been very becoming.

P.S. You'd be glad to know that during the stinging process, the pain had
caused me to jump up and down, and the wasp died during the stampede.  And
so it probably didn't feel the pain when I cremated it on the gas cooker
afterwards.  (And chanted "The wasp, the wasp, the wasp is on fire.  We
don't need no water let the motherfucker burn, BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!!")

Boy, revenge is sweet.  You sting me, I turn you into carbon.

My toe still fucking hurts.

Ken



**********************************************************************
This email is confidential and intended solely for the person or entity to whom it is addressed.  If this email was not intended for you please notify the UCLH Mail Administrator at mail.administrator at uclh.org.
This footnote confirms that the email and attachments contained no viruses when they left UCLH.

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+