Sinister: Glasgow's where the summer goes (part 3 of 3 - has nothing to do with London, aye)

[kenneth.chu at xxx.org]

Hi retards,

AND (the fun never ends with me!) the other weekend I went to try Glasgow a
little more.  And goodness me I tried it.  Don't listen to those who try to
dissuade you from trying it, because it's fun.

I arrived Glasgow expecting to be anonymous, it being 400 miles away and all
from my house and staying at the worst/best B+B of Glasgow.  Around 7pm I
went to look for some Chinese food on Byres Road and across the road a
couple of NEDS were making gestures at me, as I was giving them back the
fingers I realised that they were MATT HENDERSON and PATRICK DOYLE!  Who
have turned from indie twee fuckers to indie neds.  A little compliment on
their Adidas football top and Burberry hat was all it was needed to gain
their trust, and they let me into their den!

As soon as I walked in I was greeted by the legions of girls as they pamper
Matt and Patrick, and served me a Chicken Jalfrazi, it was crazy!  Matt then
started fist fights with a load of people in another room - he knocked out a
guy (who had a knife) with his bare fist!  I was impressed.

And then we went to this place called the Little League!  Which was little,
but definitely not rank.  I discovered that People In Glasgow Don't Dance.
At least not before 11pm, when they all start going mental (doing what some
people may not classify as dancing but more "being stung by an invisible
wasp").  I saw Stuart Murdoch there omg!  And his ass (being stung by an
invisible wasp at the time) accidentally featured on one of the pictures I
took of the dance floor.  If this isn't list-contents I don't know what is.

On Saturday I went shopping and bought a load of Ned clothing from TJ-MAXX,
in order to fit in with the cool kids of Glasgow.  It worked, I think!  I
became a member of the Winchester Club that night and watched some grate
bands!  There was Ally Kerr (featuring mr sleekasounds!) and Lucky Luke,
plus ACCORDION EXTRAVAGANZA which was crazy!  I want to learn to play the
accordion.

In other news, "Cryptic Clues" is the best quiz machine game ever.

My toe STILL hurts.

Ken


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