Sinister: thoughts and feelings

[Lorraine Hosie]

Hello Sinister

I was going to write the Saturday before last, when I first saw Liz's 
picture on News 24. I picked up my mobile and three times recomposed a text 
to the one person I know [personally] who I thought had also met Liz.  But I 
couldn't get the words right. I wasn't grieving: whichever way I looked at 
it, and I always try to avoid bandwagonning other people's grief.

But, as ever, it's the kindness and sensitivity of others in the aftermath 
that touches me - the generosity of strangers, the bravery of the survivors. 
It's the sign outside The Castle pub in Islington that says 'We are not 
afraid!', even though some of us are.

I met Liz twice I think - once at the Astoria Karaoke (she made light work 
of 'Heart of Glass', and I *think* at one of the London picnics. She was a 
genuinely lovely person, it seemed to me, and I feel for those who're 
missing her

At the same time, I feel for the families of the bombers - those of them who 
were completely in the dark about their brother's, son's, cousin's 
intentions. Surely their grief is twofold. And I feel for the innocent 
people who live in those communities, and the police and community leaders 
who are now faced with the possibility of a backlash.

I feel for my Goddaughter: the youngest Sinisterine; whose first birthday is 
tomorrow. I worry what sort of place the world will be when she starts to 
become aware of it.  I wonder if she'll lose a friend some day, and I 
wonder what I could possibly say to help ease her pain

Last week I listened to Antony and the Johnson's 'Hope there's someone' and 
it made me feel much better, so I'll probably lend her that.

Take care of yourselves
Lorraine


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