Sinister: Liz

[nalA Rollo]

Hey people,
my name's nalA and i'm a newbie to the list.

Ideally this wouldn't be the first email i sent to the list but at the 
moment times are far from ideal, so i guess it stands to reason that my 
first post would be far from the ideal introduction.

Shortly after the events two weeks ago in London i emailed Honey with a 
slightly strange email.  After a little bit of very gentle nudging Honey has 
persuaded me to mail you guys what i sent her.

It went a bit like this:

"Hi there,
i'm really sorry to bother you as i am in essence a complete stranger to 
you.

A month or so ago i joined the sinister list but have not yet had the 
confidence to post.
As a silly teenager i was on the list years ago but rarely posted then due 
to the fact that i would get worried that i would come across as stupid and 
that i would make a fool of myself.
Since then i have grown slighly in confidence and don't care so much as to 
if i make of myself as i have become rather secure in my stupiidity.

Anyhow, at this point you're probaly thinking "Enough already! Cut to the 
chase and tell me where you are heading with your ramblings!".

Where i am heading is this...

A good few years ago now i went to one of my first music festivals.

As you may of guessed this festival was Bowlie.

I went with three other people that i vaguely knew from My Life Story gigs 
and messageboards/lists.

For various reasons i now forget, there seemed to a certain ammount of 
tension ion my chalet and amongst it's inhibitants.  Consequently i spent 
most the festival wandering alone.
A lonely 17yr old boy with too much time on his hands combatting severe 
depression.

One evening i was sat by myself outside on a picnic bench reading a book, i 
think it was Bukowski's women but it could of been The Dice Man, i can't 
really remember now.  On the picnic table opposite me were a group of five 
or six people.

I put down my book and quietly drink my lemonade as i try and write bad 
poetry/lyrics of the kind that only a young male with issues can.
As i do so a girl/young woman from the group says hi to me and asks me if 
i'm alright as i looked rather sad.
We begin to talk and she invites to join the group at their table.
I join them but being rather socially awkward and not very "with it" i find 
it hard to keep up with the conversation.
Despite this the group were kind.  They allowed me to hang around at the 
gigs with them, to dance in the "disco" with them, to play frisbee with them 
and seemed to warm to me a little.

However, only the girlie who had first spoken to me really seemed to speak 
to me rather than wait for me to join in with their conversations.

This same girlie was the one who would tell me when and where to be to meet 
the group.

On the final day (when everybody was leaving) my chalet mates had seemed to 
sort things between themselves and were now once again the best of friends 
(i think).  Feeling rather guilty at having left me alone for most of the 
festival they insisted on keeping me close to them.

I never saw my new group of friends again as when i went to their chalet i 
had already missed them.

That girl that invited me to join that group made sure i had a good time at 
Bowlie.

That girl was called Liz.

The Liz i talk of was from North London and would now be aged 29 or 30 as at 
Bowlie she was 23, my age now (if my memory serves correct).
Back then she had long light brown hair and a little fringe.
I think she had eyes that were a bluey/green colour but i'm not sure.

Does this sound like it could possibly of been Liz Daplyn to you?

It's been on my mind for the last few days now...

I don't know what else to say...

Even if it is not the same Liz what has happened is, obviously, deeply 
tragic and i send my thoughts and condolences.

If this sounds like another Liz please may i sincerley apologise for having 
bothered you with this."

Since writing this email i have seen pictures and read some of Liz's posts 
in the archives and have concluded that i am 99.99999% certain that this is 
the same Liz.

i got a few details wrong about her age and stuff but from what i can gather 
we are talking the same Lliz here.

It's not often that you have a random stranger be so kind and caring towards 
you.  It takes an amazing person to lift the spirits of a "problem" teenager 
but Liz managed it.

I can not even comprehend how others on this list must be feeling right now 
as i barely knew Liz and yet feel terrible for her loss.

i send my condolences and love to all of those that knew Liz.

i'm sure i can not be the only person that Liz has touched through her 
actions and that she will forever live on in our memories.

Stay safe people.

lots of love and hugs
nalA
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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