Sinister: excuses are for suckers who can't think of a good lie

[marisa stroud]

Personally, I was stealing the neighbours' wireless
internet connection before they wised up to the scam,
ending my sweet sweet free bandwidth and, thus, my
frequent posting freedom. Oh, the humanity.

So...how bout that rerelease of everything you already
have and are not too thrilled about being suckered
into buying again for packaging reasons? Pretty
awesome, eh?

Seems like the only time folk get hepped up about b&s
stuff these days is when they can subtly brag about
their pre-release hookups. And I guess it's not like
anyone can say, "My favourite new track is Slow
Graffitti, as you will see when you get *your* copy,
many months after I've enjoyed mine."

Or maybe I'm just jealous.

Actually, I like the pre-release reviews that the
sinister illuminati tantalise us peons with. I guess
I'm just trying to incite some good old-fashioned
drama, involving pithy and cutting remarks about one's
person and/or writing style that stay just this side
flame.

But too bad for you, my belligerant bunnies, cause I
already know my person and/or writing style is crap.
Sucka!

In other news, I started a wildly successful band,
proposed to my boyfriend and have secured a spacious
two-bedroom flat with floor-to-ceiling windows and all
mod cons in the first urban colony on the moon*. And I
will be running the first (and most awesome) club
there. We dance in low G to songs written in the key
of G. The club is actually called F##, but it's just a
marketing thing (and, if you know your musical
notation, F## is actually G in disguise. Thank you,
Mrs Normandeau, childhood piano teacher). A lot of the
songs we play have to be tweaked a bit to get them to
conform to our key-of-G trend, but due to a convenient
legal loophole, Earth's copyright laws will not apply
to us until 2052. So, in fact, *I* will be hearing ALL
the new tracks as they're remixed and rereleased,
making me so much cooler than you it's like I'm
exposed to the vacuum of space and you're suffocating
under a blanket of atmosphere and greenhouse gases.

I just hope there are neighbours with wireless
internet that I can steal from on the moon. You
wouldn't BELIEVE how much broadband costs per month up
there! Vicious price gouging if I ever saw it...

But before I take possession of my awesome two-bedroom
spacious moonflat with floor-to-modular-ceiling
windows and all modular mod cons, I will be moving to
Melbourne over the first week of September to live a
ghettofabulous life while the moon details are being
worked out (legal issues, zoning considerations, and
some titchy problem with the windows venting internal
atmosphere when you open them...I told them not to
install screens!), which I'm very much looking forward
to. As it happens, the boyfriend is Melbournean (a
Melbournite? Melborean? what the fuck is the term??),
which makes ghettofabulous living much more fabulous,
I bet. 

Also, according to Kim Stanley Robinson, we *should*
be living on the Moon by now. What's the hold-up?? And
also, weren't we promised HoverCars like five years
ago??

I keep asking these questions, and the shadowy men
keep shooting me with brain darts. I don't get it.
What is
tsjaklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

(sorry, brain dart)

There is no mystery. Everyone return to your
predetermined life roles.

Wait!! There are no predetermined life roles! We all
have free will!! WE ALL HAVE FREE WILL!! DON'T LET
THEM SHOOT ME WITH BRAIN DARTS AGAIN!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm spent.

marisa

*one of these statements is true...now the guessing
game fun begins!

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