Sinister: The Stars of Tractors and Fields

[Robin Stout]

Ay up!

> I took a photograph of you in the bootylicious border
> It broke the arse of men and deflowered the girls and Paulo Stinsoni

Paulo Stinsoni! Hurrah! I'd forgotten all about him!

I was just on the phone to my mum when she said "Oh I'd better go,
your father says it's starting to thunder and we should go and hide
under the stairs". So they did.

Gorsh, heavens to Betsy, the weather's hot isn't it? My trousers are
all stuck to my legs. Reminds me of when I went to a fancy dress party
as Adam Ant: Dandy Highwayman, and had to wear tight leather trousers
on the hottest day of the year. Oh my! Don't do that! I did win a
prize for maximum dandiness though. It was very difficult explaining
to an Italian (Michael Jackson) and his Korean wife ("I have come as a
princess") who Adam Ant was. "Um, he's a New Wave popstar, but he's
also a highwayman, a dandy highwayman. You know, a highwayman? He'd
hold up stagecoaches and steal gold and snog busty ladies. Yes, a
criminal basically. But he'd sing to people too, and wear makeup. Mmm,
yes. So you're a princess are you?"

Whenever I want to listen to Belle and Sebastian these days I watch
Countryfile on BBC2. Last time I saw it they had a feature about
Massey Fergusson tractors over a The Life Pursuit medley. Cor! I
reckon Struan should do a duet with John Craven. He'd bloody love it.

Do we still talk about music on the Sinister Mailing List? I'm looking
forward to the new Pipettes album, yeah, and the new Sprites album, oh
boy.

I'm going to another fancy dress party on Saturday. What do you think
I should go as? I reckon I will go as a Ghostbuster! All I need is a
vacuum cleaner and a boiler suit and dorky specs - Egon Spengler! I
could make some ectoplasm out of mushy peas. Or frogs.

Or Swarfega. Does this still exist? When I was a lad we had a big pot
of Swarfega in the bathroom, so my dad could dunk his hands in it
after he'd been up a ladder. It was magical and I presume highly toxic
to children as I haven't seen it since. Perhaps it was made out of
ghosts. Or frogs.

Toodleoo,

Robin

PS: A picnic sounds good to me!
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