Sinister: life is not a picnic... at least not always

[Michiel Buenk]

Dear Sinisterians,

I have been holding back writing for so long (wasn't sure if I was 
eloquent enough) that I don't know where to start.
Let me start by saying that I'm jealous of you people that will go to 
the Picnic! I currently live in the US (Ohio), and flying to London for 
a picnic will not be approved by the financial committee here at home 
(the wife... (not sinister)).

I sometimes feel I am the only Sinister one in this continent... Are 
there any of you out here?
I never meet anyone that even knows B&S or have heard of the (sub)genre 
Twee Pop.
Heck I wouldn't even have known myself that my love for music was 
concentrated in that genre if it hadn't been for Last.fm and Wikipedia. 
(I know it's a controversial genre here, but let's go with it for a lack 
of better ok?)
I'm even more unique being a stay-at-home-dad... If you guys can find me 
a stay-at-home-dad in the US that listens to B&S I promise I will donate 
$100 to charity.

Now on to the more serious stuff;
I was born Dutch and from a young age I had the feeling I was been born 
into the wrong country. This might have started when my parents 
brainwashed me... Filling my days with The Beatles while being strapped 
to my high-chair. They said it was for my own good..., so I wouldn't 
fall out... yeah.... So as a little kid I was crying to (or with) the 
Beatles. That was the 70's.
In the 80's I got a Wham! to the side of the head and lost my voice 
singing "I don't want your freedom!" while in the 90's it was all about 
"Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you..."
And now in the 00's I make sinister jokes about funny little frogs with 
my imaginary friend Johnathan David, telling him that I want to call my 
mom and say: "Mom, I seem to have lost an important part of my brain 
somewhere, somewhere in a field in Ohio...".
So I still feel I should have been born a Brit.

Now you might think this just sounds like a pile of Yankee wannabe Brit 
cuckoodoodledoo... And you'd be right.

A while ago I asked my doctor about getting a 
trans-nationality-operation. He said this was no light decision. Was I 
serious about this? Yes.
He suggested to first live like a Brit for a while to see if it really 
was what I wanted. So I did.
I combed my hair forward, let it grow over my ears, unbuttoned my shirt 
too far down, hung the Union Jack outside my house (which caused quite a 
stir in Suburbia here) and went on a strict diet of Fish and Chips in 
newspaper.
Then I took it a step further and repeatedly had myself kicked out of 
the local "Irish" pub at 11 pm sharp (hey it's nostalgia) and dragged 
myself home. This dragging business caused quite a number of inquiries 
by the local police force, but after explaining my quest and proving 
that I wasn't actually intoxicated they even escorted me home...
The next stage was to go on Britmones and that's where I failed.
Already the first day after taking my dose (15 pints of Guinness) I had 
some sort of allergic reaction because I puked my guts out. So maybe I 
wasn't fit to be a Brit after all....

To those that made it this far I say; Thanks for listening!
To the rest I say: .... No loss you b at st@rds! You're not even worth it.
;)

Michiel
sinister at buenk.net


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