Sinister: Now wash your hands

[Ian Anscombe]

Hello you,

You're looking mighty fine.  We're both a little older, but it suits 
you.  You've grown into yourself.  There's a confidence there 
that's...well, its kind of sexy.  What are you doing later?

Oh, okay.  No, its fine.  I'll probably wash my hair too.  What there 
is left of it.

I've been meaning to write to you for a while, Sinister, but I've been 
avoiding the computer.  There's one at work, you see, and the one at 
home feels too much like it.  Also, when I turn it on and try and do 
things like type e-mails, there are these subliminal messages it 
flashes up to me.  There's a really terrifying, dark dark blue one 
that shouts IF YO DON'T FIL IN APPLICATION FORMS YOU IS GOING HAVE NO 
JOB AND YOU IS GOING TO HAVE TO PIMP YO ASS ROUND BALSALL HEATH AND NO 
FUCKER IS GOING TO WANT TO BUY IT.  NOT A GAY MAN LIKES AN OLD ASS.
Very dark blue, dark, dark blue.  Eyes, like the sunrise.
There is an equally disturbing pastel pink one that whispers..."play 
online scrabble.... play online scrabble...
meaningful and purposeful activity? Why do you need that....? (stop 
smiling, Taylor) triple word scors, triple wrod scros....  "

But, for now, less of such frippery.  Who needs triple wrod scros, 
when you have pICNICS!  Oh how lovely!  I've thought for so long how 
nice it would be to go to one.  I mean, the Birmingham picnic mark II* 
and the Sinister Tallinn Jamboree** were great, but they don't match a 
TENTH BIRTHDAY.  I think we all need to wear our best party outfits. 
Perhaps we could going in fancy dress.  Perhaps we should dress as 
BEARS.  We are no longer twee teddy-bear clutchers, now we are FIERCE 
BEARS who can take on the world!!!  YES!!!  Who is up for this?!?

Speaking of meet-ups, I clicked on a message to reply to this, and it 
turned out it was Ken saying this:

> I'm all about going to places, this summer, it's going to be the 
> summer
> of festivally fun, I think.

which was kind of nice, really, because I didn't see most of you at 
Glastonbury, but I saw Ken, wandering up through a field, and we sat 
in the mud and listened to an imaginary disco and very nice it was 
too.

Also, Ken said this..

> P.S.: I haven't heard from "Faith" from myspace lately, I hope she's
> okay.  Perhaps she's gone to facebook.  I've pretty much abandoned 
> all
> of the internet except for facebook.  Except you, sinister, cos I 
> like
> you x

Its a shame about faith.  She always vanishes when you're expecting 
her to stick around.  Perhaps you've been taking her for granted. 
Cherish her, bring her flowers.  Send her your bank details.  I find 
this last trick makes more friends on Myspace than anything else.

I wondered if there was a facebook sinister group?  Searching for 
Sinister on facebook brings up about 8908098 groups.  It would be nice 
to belong to another facebook group I don't actually read.  It would 
give me something to think about when not filling my pretend aquarium.

Robin and Jim talked about the Green Man festival, which I wish I was 
going to.  But I'm not.  Bummer.  I hope you have a nice Sinister 
meet-up though.  On the up-side, I am going to the CONNECT FESTIVAL. 
Which is in SCOTLAND and has TEENAGE FANCLUB, amongst others, playing. 
I think there might be other Sinistereens attending too..apparently at 
least one member, of far greater Sinister Stature than myself....but 
hopefully they'll post about that...  Is anyone else coming??  It'll 
be FUN, and not WET.

It seems everyone is having BABIES.  Well, big congratulations to all 
of you.  I am hoping several of them will attend our picnic, and that 
at least one will bring a teddy bear.  Which would be good, because 
then we will be people dressed as BEARS holding teddy bears, and it'll 
be DEAD FUNNY.  Also, as Morrissey is now practically a member of 
Sinister (reflected glory is a marvellous thing), I suggest we invite 
him too.  We can dress him up as a monkey.  He'd enjoy that.

So, babies, bears, monkeys and what else?  I think we should have a 
COMPETITION!

THE DESIGN-A-SINISTER-COCKTAIL COMPETITION!!!!!!!!!

I was going to put instructions here, but they seem uneccessary.  And 
we should all make one, and drink it in honour of the winner.  Good 
idea?? Good idea!!  GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I think I've shot my bolt.  There's no more e-mail left in 
this head.  Trust me, I've looked for it, and I've got no idea where I 
left it.  Perhaps it is too much EXCITEMENT.  See you soon, folks.

HURRAY!!

xx
Ian

*The Birmingham picnic was actually 3 of us sat in a bar.  But it was 
GRATE!!! Better than PEARS!  Maybe we should have another one one day.
**The Tallinn Jamboree was actually 3 of us sat in a variety of bars. 
One of these people was not, technically speaking, a member of 
Sinister.  But it was GRATE!!  Better than POMEGRANATES!!  Maybe we 
should have another one one day.


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