Sinister: A thespian with a caravanette

[FP]

Hello, Sinister.

I was given a voice the other day, for about the third time now.  I
hadn't posted yet, for reasons much the same as the ones GEA outlined
recently.  In the past few weeks I've not been online, I've not been
in #sinister, because I've been spending time away from my computer.
Those of you who remember your Tigermilk lyrics will remember how to
work out *where*.

(I once dreamed up a Grand Project to document all the differences
between recorded and published lyrics in B&S songs.  Unfortunately I
started with Tigermilk, which has such vast differences between the
recorded and published lyrics - one song, I forget which, even has its
verses published in the wrong order - that I gave up)

As I'm nominally posting for the first time (despite not really), I
should, I suppose, introduce myself.  Hello.  I'm FP.  Nice to meet
you.  When I'm in a good mood I get compared to "that bloke out of
CSI, only younger", even though I look nothing like him.  Years ago,
when I had long hair, I got compared to "that bloke out of Sodastream,
the one with the long hair".  When I'm in a *bad* mood I've been
compared to Hugh Grant, but it only happened the once and I'm hoping
they'd forgotten their glasses.

If you actually want to know about me, go down to the bottom of the
page and follow the link to the website.

I've not even been on *** much - it's called Nu*** now, for those of
you not in the know, and is a slight pain.

How is *** pronounced anyway?  Given that *every* article *anywhere*
about the band !!! seemingly has to include "pronounced 'chk chk chk'"
in parenthesis or a footnote, even when everyone in the world already
either *knows* how to pronounce !!! (because of every single article
forementioned etc) or has never heard of the buggers.  How do you
pronounce ***?  My own suggestion is "blat blat blat", but this may
lead me open, I suppose, to physical attacks from recently resurrected
All Saints fans.

(ooh, whips!)

The other day I drove three! hundred! miles!  But not for any
Interesting Musical reason.  It was to meet someone's parents for the
first time.  They liked me, apparently.  "It's a bit soon, isn't it,"
said Dimitra Daisy (of this parish).  "Soon is when you make it.  Time
is relative," I (also of this parish) would have said, if I was
capable of thinking up snappy retorts.  Not that that one is
particularly good.

I knew an alchemist who was bitten by a snappy retort, once.  Horrible
injuries.  Had to take three weeks off work and his temperature every
day in case he self-distilled by Sympathetic Action.

(that last paragraph there may be a lie)

Sympathetic Action: action at a distance.  You wound someone with a
big sharp knife.  They say "ow", or something similar.  You sprinkle
some Powder Of Sympathy on the *knife*, and the victim, wherever they
are, either gets a bit better or goes "ow" again depending on exactly
what sort of Powder Of Sympathy you're using.  Cunning.

(that last paragraph, oddly, was once indeed believed to be true by
many, many people)

Right, then, I'm off to hum Stars Of Track And Field to myself.  Taraa.

FP
http://www.symbolicforest.com/blog/
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