- Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: A FIRE!!! I can warm my hands!
by Rachel fruitloop-Apps 29 Oct '03

29 Oct '03

Hello Sinister, Like Idles and Paul said, 25 is such a turning point in the way of age. Ben also just had to tick that "old people" box in a survey he took the other night because he is 25. He shouted out "Oh no"! Now that I am one year away from 30, I feel very young. But at 25 I felt like Oldie Olderson. My baby sister will be 25 in May. That is such a BIZARRE thought to me. There's no way she's nearly 25, I am only 22 at heart... but I am really very excited to be entering my thirties. It's the decade to kick ass. YOU'RE A DISASTER... It was bad enough that the public transit bus employees and major supermarket employees were on strike. Now everything is on fire and freeways are closed, too. Ben and I are living in an area of Southern California that, luckily, isn't close enough to any mountains that are on fire to be evacuated. This morning, we went out to the car and it was covered in ashes. And the sky is dark and smoky and we could see flames off in the distance yesterday. They say this is the worst firestorm in Califorina's history. My theory is that it's karmic payback for electing Arnold Schwarzenegger for Governor. We're going to make a FIRE mixtape with all songs on the subject of fire. It's probably a good thing that B&S aren't returning to Southern California on this tour... especially with Stuart's chest infection - our chunky air wouldn't go down well at all. I said to Ben last night how funny it is to think back to 10 years ago. When the devastating Northridge earthquake happened I was 19, I thought of what possessions I have that I wanted to save if we were evacuated. Suede Memorabillia! Now, I can't really think of what I'd try to save... my computer maybe, depending on the time factor. But I see my priorities are vastly different than they were when I was ten years younger. I still don't have the Fans Only dvd. I was going to buy the British format and just watch it on my computer. I have watched it once and it was FANtastic! I really should just get it. It reminds me of watching a great moving B&S scrapbook, too. Ben said he's going to preorder the US version. So it's gonna be in my hot little hands soon enough!(*insert vision of me vigorously rubbing my hands together and bellowing "mwaah-haaaah-haaaah-haaaa!") I am sad that Ben and I won't be able to go to Austin Texas to see B&S this weekend. Y'all Report Back now, ya hear! Happy Halloween! love, Rachie fruitloop-Apps P.S. I didn't mention KEN CHU once in this post. __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Exclusive Video Premiere - Britney Spears http://launch.yahoo.com/promos/britneyspears/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: popularity is a hallmark to mediocrity
by Jonathan Skinner 28 Oct '03

28 Oct '03

It is nice to see that everyone is sick, i can't think straight, my head feels all blurry , can't breath right and on top of that i have a cold. I went into college yesterday JUST to go into a certain huge record store to buy the DVD for €20. I never even tried to get it in our local indie, they have a huge poster the catastrophic waitress but still haven't got the album. my theory is that they wait until the prices in virgin fall a bit , go and buy up 10 copies then jack up the price. it is quite a good business to be in i think. So the dvd. i think my favourite piece is the STV documentary followed by i could be dreaming , especially the bit where the hand puppet is having a bit of an ould chat with stuart. I think the reason that i like this dvd so much is because it is the belle and sebastian i loved and grew up with. i first heard Lazy Line Painter Jane in 1997 i think , that would have made me 13. i was just starting at secondary school and was highly influenced. My cousins had come down from dublin for the weekend and Jane, the elder one had just had it sent to her by her boyfriend in Glasgow. we spent the first night they were down just listening to it over and over again, we were entranced by it. It is hard actully to put into the words how much listening to that one cd influenced the way i developed as a young fella. But it did and i think the DVD is all about that era , when they were everybodies little secret, all belle and sebastian fans lived in a secret world where they thought they were the only ones. when people asked "what music are you into" and you would shiftily respond "um belle and sebastian" to which people would mostly reply "who?". not that i have anything to worry about them now. yes they have changed but so have i . 7 years is a long time, they have matured , as have i. but it is still nice to see them when they were all bright eyed and bushy tailed. a bit like looking at a photoalbum of when you and your friends weren't camera shy and arsing around in front of it. I must put out a call. i mentioned in my last post that i and another sinister were coming to london for the dec 3rd gig. i was wondering if there were any meetups afoot, or maybe a foot and half. i know it will be cold and not picnic weather but i'm sure there are bars that could be retired to before or after the gig. just a thought right i am off to have a lemsip then go and listen a lecture on the delights of renainssence english poetry, don't wait up love etc etc and so forth jnthn +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: lights out!
by Brian Hess 28 Oct '03

28 Oct '03

Hello all, What an interesting few days this has been! This weekend was the Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship's Fall Conference (formerly known as "Big Love", but changed cos that was "too feminine or something". I dunno, I wasn't complaining about the guy/girl ration...). But it was splendid, speaker guy who told all kinds of hysterical jokes about being young and stupid and then even better stories about being old and wise. Funny how his stories were strangely similar to stories of Jesus...well he was good at relating things. And anyway, it was all cosmic and beautiful and we had an honest-to goodness DANCE afterwards which featured me shaking my "groove thang" and trying to sing "Living on a Prayer" far too late into the evening. As for B&S, I got a chance to perform on my college's "late-night talk show" (quite fond of those quotes today, actually), and in the interview they asked me my influences. I said, "um, you know, like, radiohead, and belle and sebastian..." at which point the one host cut me off and said, "How about country?" Welcome to central pennsylvania, folks. But things are looking up, thanks especially to the kind soul who volunteered to give me a ride to the Philly show. I felt all warm-and-fuzzy-like. I do think I've managed to convince one of my friends to take me. She, however, has very little idea what is in store for her... Brian +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: 25...Feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive
by Paul Arathoon 28 Oct '03

28 Oct '03

Idleberry's post was a near carbon copy of the one I had been composing in my head as I was herded onto the 7.54am Home Counties Daily Mail Hell train which gets me into Moorgate and the City. Well..nearish carbon copy- I love the new album, Idles doesn't. Not that it matters. ON BEING 25 I turned 25 not two weeks ago. So far the only material difference is that I seem to have been promoted to the 25-29 age group for all marketing purposes so I get to tick a different box when filling in useless surveys. But Idles is right about the cut off line...There were many jobs I went for last year where the fact I wasn't 21, fresh-faced with no experience of life, just out of university counted against me. Maybe I couldn't be manipulated into a perfect corporate employee like they could. Oh well, it worked out ok in the end. There are some things I have not achieved by now which I wanted to do. I wanted to write a book, I still think I can but I've only got 12 months to do it before The Career kicks in and I have no time whatsoever for myself. So...simple really, by my 26th birthday I need to have written a book. I would like to be The Great American Novel but as a non-American I don;t think I count. Though if Arnie can, I surely can. I still continue to hang onto the vestiges of being a mild mannered indie-kid. I walk to work from the station listening to B&S, the Smiths, blah blah etc and daydreaming all the time. Yet I am dressed so conservatively and I occasionally wear a pin-striped suit and blend in with all of the others.."The Shame Of It" screams my indie kid inner-self. "It's The Inevitability of Growing UP" my adult self smoothly reassures me before steering me into the nearest over-priced coffee shop. Apologies to those over 25 who are currently thinking *TSK wait 'til you get to 30/40/50*. And to those under 25 who have no idea what I'm on about. ON THE DVD It is, without doubt, fantastic. The credits with Get Me Away From Here.. made me feel incredibly nostalgic and it felt like some chapter somewhere in a book I didn't realise I had been reading had closed. Then I got sensible and watched Ian Duncan Smith take a battering from various colleagues. his theme tune should be Get Me Away From Here. It's been well worth the wait to see all the footage. I spent hours trying to find that version of Rhinestone Cowboy on Napster/Audiogalaxy/kazaa and now I have it with moving pictures and sounds and in colour marvellous. And I didn't quite appreciate how classically Scottish good looking Isobel is either. The End. _________________________________________________________________ Hotmail messages direct to your mobile phone http://www.msn.co.uk/msnmobile +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Reach Out!
by Vilkas D'Angelo-Horvath 28 Oct '03

28 Oct '03

Ok you guys. Im gonna duck and cover before I say this; but I gotta say. Y'know the reason why I'm still on Sinister after the month after I joined? YOU. The first week or two; I just wanted to know what was the deal with this new band. Yeah yeah theyre good and all, but before I was out of the nursery, it shifted to all of You. I mean B&S can play the fuck out of some songs and all; but I feel weird talking about that and stuff. I really dig communicating with all yous all around the world. You have introduced to me to bands I never would have heard of directly through mixtapes and suggestions; and indirectly by opening my ears even more. Ive always had (metaphorically) Big Ears; but even more new music to add to what you already like is always better, especially if its unexpected. Don't wanna jinx myself by saying this out loud, but yous seem quite open minded about music and art and stuff. I mean, this list is the most polite place on the internet. And when things get out of hand; there are fewer real life reprecussions than friendster...(or myspace-come join me:-) !!!). You might not get in trouble when you go out for something you say on Sinister. Unless Jenny's there. Hi Jenny. End of abuse now. Next paragraph contains official content. Yo, Do you know the magic of The Four Tops? Ok. Just checking. Emo kids, beware! Nothing can top the emotional tidal wave of most of Reach Out. Standing In The Shadow Of Love! 7-Rooms Of Gloom! Bernadette!(Yes the hyphen is in the song title). Yeah and if you want content, their version of Walk Away Renee is on there. Yeah. "Xplosion" by Outkast is the same song as "You Don't Send Me"; that song title maybe a reference to the old school song "You Send Me"? Not the words exactly, but listen to them and get the message. Well, to my ears at least. Yeah, speaking of Outkast, did you know Big Boi is a Massive Kate Bush fanatic? ok now you know. And have you HEARD "Hey Ya"? Ok. GO FIND AND LISTEN TO IT. Now. New Wave Punk Soul. Fat Beat + !p!o!p!...Welcome to the Terrordome vs. Simply Nothing To Be Done. Throws the dance floor into a tizzy. And they won't play it on the hiphop station because it's not gangsta and they won't play it on the top 40 station because it's music by black folks that's not gangsta. Somebody be trippin. My friend Phil (http://www.friendster.com/user.jsp?id=53652) said that it's such a brilliant song, it's amazing Stephen Merritt didn't write it. Yes Mark C, its true. I'm now down with the Magnetic Fields. It was "Take Ecstasy With Me" on a mixtape that brought me over to their side. That song sounds like being on drugs and unicorns in magic forests. Or something like that. How did I get my self in this pickle. 2 shows. 2 months. fuck that shit homie. No overlapping on exhibit times...I could have shown the same work. But no. I'm a fucking shining star of brilliancy. I show Com-plete-ly different work. Bright Idea. And how am I gonna get these paintings done? Oh yeah. I remember. By including some photography in the show. ... Now I just have to frame some prints. Another Bright Idea. Lurve, VW _________________________________________________________________ Send instant messages to anyone on your contact list with MSN Messenger 6.0. Try it now FREE! http://msnmessenger-download.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: You're not getting any younger
by idleberry 27 Oct '03

27 Oct '03

I�ve spent almost the last week in isolation, speaking only to friends over the phone, or the occasional passer-by member of my family. Mostly, my ears have been listening to the nonsensical conversations of my Sim family, who have been entertaining me. My family consist of Barbie, Action Man, Ken and Sindy. Ken and Sindy after some passion (despite Ken getting randy some other females, and Sindy getting flirty with Bob Newbie) recently decided to have a baby, Skipper, who will grow into a child if they look after her properly for three days, so they have been skiving work so as not to miss her feeding times. Action Man meanwhile has proposed marriage on at least four occasions to a Katrina House lookalike, who said no, once because she complained they don�t talk enough, and three times because she was hungry. Action Man told her to leave, and returned to his passion for painting. Barbie meanwhile is working as a psychic for the police. If you think that is sad, then spare a thought for one poor nameless soul who named his Sim family after members of Belle And Sebastian, and made Chris and Isobel get it on. Talking of Belle and Sebastian, last week I chanced the opportunity to watch the new DVD with my boyfriend. If the recent album was disappointing (and it was, never mind what you think) then this was a welcome treat. It was as much a pleasure as the first time I really appreciated Tigermilk. The videos are fantastic � my favourites being I Could Be Dreaming, Lazy Line Painter Jane, and the Wrong Girl. The great thing about those videos was that it was less of an accessory to the music, like so many music videos tend to be. I giggled thoroughly when Stuart did his angry face, or when Stuart and Chris had a three-legged chase of Lazy Line Painter Jane, or when the glove puppet fox in the super hero costume shakes his wee foxy head when posed with the line �Do you wanna do it now?� or when baby Stevie emerged from the hospital. My only question is, how on earth can you have bonus bits on a DVD? That would suggest that you could buy it without the bonus bits, for a smaller cost. But that�s just a thought. Still, the DVD was wonderful; it was like looking through an old photo album or scrapbook of B&S best moments. It�s rather sad that October is almost over now, although I�ve really enjoyed this autumn so far. Hopefully it will lead to a winter fit for Christmas card pictures of frosty and snowy scenes in wintry sunshine. I turned 25 recently*, and it started to make me think. What was I thinking about? Oh, so many things. I was thinking about what I have achieved, and what I had wanted to achieve by the time I was 25. Most people put their fulfilment on 30, but 30 always seemed too far away. Now it is closer, and I realise it�s ten years since I was a teenager, turning into an indie kid of some description. I don�t feel as differently as I thought I would, and things haven�t progressed quite as I thought they might. I had a career of glamour and luxury laid ahead for me in my head at 15, and I�ve yet to find anything remotely alluring about standing in photocopier rooms running off copies of papers. I find some solace though in knowing that not everyone gets it done by 25, (their ambitions, not photocopying) and that actually, 25 isn�t as old as it could be. In fact, 40 doesn�t seem as old as it used to anymore. Am I making excuses, or have I become more realistic? Will I achieve my aims in life, or am I destined to dream about them, and when I actually try to achieve these things will I realise that I�m not really cut out for them after all? How disappointing that would be. Am I good enough to get what I want, let alone motivated? No doubt this email may seem na�ve to those of you older than I; it may also seem insulting. It may also remind you of questions you had, and you�ll be able to wistfully look back and remember with a little bit of wisdom. Why 25? Well, I think it is because there are so many competitions and applications and opportunities that say they are for young people, with an age cut off at 25. It feels somewhat cruel in a way, that I am no longer considered a young person. It�s like being a small fish in a big pond all over again - I�m now in a different demographic. Having said that, there are few competitions, applications and opportunities I wanted that were aimed specifically at this young age group, so it is no great loss. Yours Elderberry *my birthday in October is one of the reasons I enjoy October, the other being the pleasant memories of mid term breaks at school, and the start of a new term with new pencils and books and jotters which always appealed to the stationery freak in me. ===== http://groups.yahoo.com/group/corduroysmoke/ starting playground gossip and passing notes __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Exclusive Video Premiere - Britney Spears http://launch.yahoo.com/promos/britneyspears/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: "Jerry, why don't we just tell the Sandinistas to fuck off?"
by Christine Irene 27 Oct '03

27 Oct '03

Hi kids, what's going on? Lots of craziness here, but little excitement. I have 2 jobs now.....i got a job at an Irish store on Saturdays, as well as a few nights a week. I love it there. This past Saturday, 2 real live Irish people stopped in....one of whom was a man who kept speaking gaelic. I was going to ask him to marry me but thought that that may have overstepped some sort of professional boundries :o) I'm also becoming a resident expert on fitting Irish dance shoes...I had no idea how complicated it was. I know it is still a crap retail job, but everyone is really nice, it isn't TOO busy, and it gives me some money. In addition, I have still been working that the domestic violence shelter in Wednesday evenings. I co-facilitate the group of 4-6 year olds in the Mom & Kids programme. During our sessions, we discuss feelings, how to deal with anger, etc, how scary situations with their parents are NEVER their fault...that sort of thing. It is heartbreaking in most ways, yet I love it. I love knowing that I am making those children laugh and smile for what may be the only time that week. I have, since round age 12 or so, been set on the music industry as my niche. I waivered about becoming an english teacher for awhile, but always came back to management an PR as my fields of choice/destiny. Last week, after our session on wedneday night, the head of the programme, Denise, began asking me if I would like to come back for the next session. I said that I would love to if they/she felt I was contributing something worthwhile and so on. She asked how I became involved with the shelter so I explained how I had seen their business card at my salon and called to see if they needed any volunteers. I met with the woman in charge of the vols, began my state certification and here I was. she told me that she had a confession to make. that i had been very highly recommended to her by Robbie (the head of vols) and Linda (the woman in charge of the certification programme) and that they really wanted me for Mom & kids. she then said "I don't know what you're studying in school, but I think you were born to be a children's councelor." that's really had me thinking. were i to go into that, i would have to start ALL OVER in school, as I have taken no classes pertaining to that subject. i do love kids, and they love me.....but i don't know that i could handle those situations day after day. i dunno. i guess i'm just trying to figure out my purpose in the world and not fuck up my life anymore than i have. it would certainly be more worthwhile than schleping round for arsehole musicians.....but the pay isn't nearly as handsome. things are going well though...debt is consolidated....will be moving soon....finally got an accurate diagnosis and am feeling great! and my sinister friends know not to mess with me as I am in weight training! rawr!! :O) ah well. i guess i had nothing to say.....well, maybe a little. sometimes you just need to get your thoughts out of your head to make sense of them.......sometimes they never make sense. oh yes...don't forget NY sinisters....i'll be there in a month!! yay!!!!!!!!!! love to my peeps ~stine __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Exclusive Video Premiere - Britney Spears http://launch.yahoo.com/promos/britneyspears/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: you can only die twice; it's the second time that makes the first time seem so nice.
by miss lou 27 Oct '03

27 Oct '03

hello sinister. i've grown too fond of chips this weekend. well, 'chips' in america, 'crisps' (i think) in the euro sectors. either way, i've eaten too many, i think, and i am starting to fear it is one of those life-long loves people sometimes develop. here at 21, i think i am destined to become one of those old women who always have some sort of chip crumb permantently affixed to the near-inner upper thigh of their purple, elastic-waist polyester pants. at least i'll get to wear comfort shoes, i suppose. *** i wrote a post about my trip. i don't think it actually sent, though i distinctly remember the 'your mail has been sent' screen. but now i have had a few days to really digest the four-day weekend escapade (whilst eating all those chips). and at the end of another weekend, i have discovered only this: i am still very, very sad. *** it was bound to be bad from the beginning, really. the whole thing always had been; even when he still lived here, things were never glorious all the time. and even after the passing of a year and his final realization that yes, he was in love with me, things weren't all wine and roses and sunbeams and thanking the lord above, etc. it was hard. and i wonder if those things are suppose to be hard. love, after all, is such an easy thing to say. it shouldn't be so hard to do, right? but there i was in southern california, so close to the ocean that i was walking in a perpetual fog for four days. and that's probably fitting, really. because i still don't know if i really know what happened there, or why. i don't know who i was or who he was. i only know that on the last night i ended up crying into a cup of terrible tea made by a lovely man named jose. and i cried because i didn't like his tea. or my tea. or whatever tea i was being offered. *** i wonder sometimes why, when you realize something has reached the very tip of its end, it feels as though it never really happened at all. and you wish it hadn't really happened at all. you don't want to suddenly notice you've spent an enormous amount of time and energy trying to bask in a half-glory of something that may have never really existed. but what if that's it? what if that's all you get? and you throw it away because of something that should be so trivial as distance? what happens when you think, in spite of what you know and what everyone you know tells you, you are all loved up? i said i was going to california to get my heart back. so i could give it away again, presumably. but i came back home minus just as much heart as i was missing when i left. and i tried to get it back. i tried to, whatever, swallow it all while i was there. but i ended up choking. i spent a lot of time there alone. i tried, and am still trying, to believe that i am happy that he is the one who holds so much of me. and will. i don't know if i can convince myself that i am happy with that. i don't know if i can convince myself that i am happy at all. and this is no cry for attention or need for an outpouring of love and support in the manner of "lindsey, of course someone will love you again" commentary. it's just me wondering why, when a person just folds around pain, the world does not also do so. it would make more sense, i think. and what poetic fodder, too. all that pain at the center, like the roundest, coldest, hardest pearl you ever touched. xo.lou. ===== www.somewhereinbetween.net __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Exclusive Video Premiere - Britney Spears http://launch.yahoo.com/promos/britneyspears/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: bunking off? yeah maybe?
by anders 26 Oct '03

26 Oct '03

sinister, hmm. what have i done today? oh yes, i woke up. took a look at my watch and it was nine. why do i wake up at nine on a sunday? why? nine? sunday? i deserve to be able to sleep longer than that. on monday, tuesday, wedensday, thursday and friday, every week i have to get up at 06.20. every day. evry week from now until july sometime, except the holidays, but hey, that's four weeks, or five, in all. they don't really matter. and because of this i feel that i should get more sleep in the weekends. why shouldn't i? i fall asleep late. i do things that should make me tired. i should sleep forever. but i wake up at nine. nine! how many hours of sleep is that? in this case, 8 or so, i guess. and i need more sleep than that. i hardly sleep the days i have to go to school. i should sleep all weekend. but i don't. and it's not that my body says "oh, don't worry, you don't need to sleep more than this!", it knows i do. it's being cruel. "let's see how long this guy survives without sleeping". the bastard is laughing with his evil friends, i'm sure. "my boy hasn't been sleeping propoerly for weeks. ha ha" oh, you just laugh. idiot. but i'm not complaining. oh no! how could i? even though it was tough to come down to eat my breakfast and my mum said "are you up already? it's only 8" "8? no it's 9." "no. it's 8" and, of course, she was right. they always are. mums. it's quite a nice idea to give the world an extra hour when the winter is coming closer. "i know things are getting darker and mother nature looks sad. but, hey, you'll be alright. here's an extra hour!" thanks. i appreciate it. but when it comes in the weekend it sort of disappears. maybe if i manage to make my body believe that i have to get up at six on sundays too, i will be able to sleep until eleven? that would be wonderful. but how do i do that. do you know that sinister? hmm. things could be far worse though. see, my mum is up at five. she's not able to sleep any longer. mums. but i'm not that tired. i yawn a bit, sure. but i still have energy to be constantly happy. things are going my way. i'm sure no one will remember, but i started at a new school this year and it's great. and i sing in this big choir. Duke Ellington. so jazzy. and i'm a part of the school revue. and everyone in my class are nice. which is the nicest of course. and i look forward to go to school every day. even the bus ride in the morning. well, this monday can be slightly...well. we have maths all day. yawn. but the drama days i'll have on wedensday, thursday and friday makes up for it. three days we have, our group. and the result are to be a play about sri lanka. "sri lanka? why on earth did you choose sri lanka?" oh, we didn't. it's because we had a day where we all worked. every student in norway spent one day working instead of going to school and all the money were given to an organisation, and this year we supported sri lanka. that's why. quite nice thing to do. it's done every year. but now ive lost it totally. what was it i was supposed to talk about. yeah, it was what i've done today. because after i'd eaten breakfast it was still 8.30. and most teenagers were still asleep. i, on the contrary, started cleaning my room. why did i do that? why the hell? i had to do some shallow cleaning yestertday and my mum was pleased. why did i then wash, clean, tidy my room when i didn't have to? i did every nook of every cabinet. yes, in there as well. and as i did this i listened to camera obscura, lucksmiths and belle & sebastian. oh, and kissing book. and as i reached the end it occured to me: i'm too.... ....anti-riot understand? -i'm sixteen. -i did not drink anything last night. -i got up at eight. -i cleaned my room. after i'd -made my own breakfast. -tea and toast. and as i did this i listened to -music even my mum thinks is good. not very riot. and this is typical. i have to do something cruel. like what my body is doing to me when it comes to sleeping. makes me tired only when i can't sleep. i need something like that to do. but i don't know what. and now i listen to tigermilk. and I fancy some tea i tried at the end of the cleaning to listen to riot music and the best i found was oasis. definitely maybe. i played it really loud and tried to be pissed off. but i had to smile. you can't pretend to be a troubled teenager, a boy, while finishing the cleaning of your room at eleven in the morning. you can't. back to camera obscura, for me. and the water and the soap and the dust. oh, the dust is gone by the way. and i found lots of things from years ago that i taped on the wall. see, i have to do something. a piece of advice sinister? well, it could have worse i guess. i could have been the opposite. anders. x ps. when I for once actually mail to the list i can ask if there are any other norwegians out there? hello? anyone? i saw one on the bus with a b&s badge the other day. you aren't here are you? hello? pps. im thinking that maybe i shouldnt buy the dvd. it would be such a perfect christmas present. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: bunking 'til the break of dawn
by rrrrobyn 25 Oct '03

25 Oct '03

pulling pork 'n gettin' it awn. there's an O.C. marathon on tv. i'm going to go watch it and undo all the french i learned in class this morning. it's like the opposite of neurobics*. well, i've gotten over my blushing at gayjay's fondness for me/my crushable email stylings. his kind words along with some other nice emails and some recent compliments on my hair did serve to brighten my spirits. not that they were darkened, but they were dulled. and for that i blame The Month of October. which i'm glad ends with a bang at least with the best non-holiday holiday, Halloween! yes, that, thanksgiving, crisp autumn air, and all the sweet, lovin' libras are what save october. okay, so maybe it's not such a bad month after all. and, well, it's loads better than boring november, eh? there's a coldplay concert on cbc radio right now. do i like coldplay? am i too lazy to put a cd on instead? well, i have been known to listen to radio things like the extend-o mixes of german operas and what appears to be the cbc's endless supply of cape breton fiddling music. lazy? somewhat intrigued? into pain-derived pleasure? i'm not so good at giving answers. and also, people keep telling me that i would/should listen to/like The Weakerthans, but so far i've just been weirdly unmotivated to even download a song or borrow cd from someone. i've heard them played at people's houses, but never really paid to much attention (b/c it seems that whenever i'm at people's houses there's a lot of talking. and beer. and then someone gives me gin and i get all "what's *this* we're listening to? is it the eagles? is it alabama?" and it always turns out to be, like, the alman brothers. ah, no it doesn't, but it'd be funny if it did. i should probably stop drinking gin.) anyway, i have a ticket for the dirtbombs show! whoo! i feel like i need to stop being hyped about it b/c what if it disappoints? yeah, i'll just play it cool. just like i'm playing it cool about the le tigre show and the julie doiron/damien jurardo/rosie thomas show. yep, totally ultra-seude cool about all that. just like you're all cool and not jumping up and down about the upcoming belle & sebastian shows. damn though, i really do want to jump up and down in anticipation of seeing b&s... there aren't any good seats left for the toronto show and i'm not paying $50 plus train fare for "limited visibility" seating. i'd prefer the north carolina show really, what with all those cool kids and their pork-pulling antics. okay, i have to pay attention to the regional music hour now. x robyn *hahahaha. i heard this word on the radio a couple days ago. now i can't stop picturing my neural synapses in spandex thongs, hot-pink tights and black legwarmers. ===== I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright ~~~ Robyn Fadden rfadden(a)yahoo.com Montreal, QC __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Exclusive Video Premiere - Britney Spears http://launch.yahoo.com/promos/britneyspears/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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