I wanted this to be a nice new, shining post, full of confidence and optimism in order to impress my wonderful new list crush. So I thought about the last week, starting school and the weekend ahead and really, I didn't think I could write a confident, optimistic post full of enthusiasm for life as it's just not what I'm feeling like. I worked out what is wrong with my life, lying alone in bed last night. I don't really have any friends closer than arms length, if you see what I mean. No-one I can just feel confident and relaxed with. No-one I can just ring up on the spur of the moment and talk to or go out with. I'm going to spend the weekend talking to my little sister as I can't even talk to the polish builder any more. The polish builder was called Magic and was probably the most intelligent, interesting person I've ever met. We'd talk about books, and politics and national identity, although he was always so much more informed than me about books, he seemed to have read the entirety of English literature in Russian, Polish and English, while growing up as a peasant on a poverty-stricken communist farm. He now works for 2 pounds an hour as a labourer on a building site before he goes to University. In all, although I enjoyed talking to him, it used to make me feel uncomfortable, I being a lazy, middle class kid with a posh-ish accent who'll probably never get anything done, he being a really insightful, hard-working, well read sub-student out of the easern bloc who'll probably be president of Poland, or the first world leader, or at least something worthwhile. It all made me think that there really isn't any justice, and however hard you try, there'll be some other twat somewhere else who'll do twice as much to destroy all of what makes life worth living. In 10 days, I should have a new brother/sister. My sister's getting a cat on Thursday. I want it to be called either Sebastian if it's a boy or India if it's a girl, the cat this is. We are all prevented from thinking of names for the baby as last time my step-mother got name frenzy and it was all we ever talked about. Both Belle and Sebastian have been rejected, though, as there are already extended family members called those. Um, this actually took about 2 days to write which exceeds the 15-minute thingy by a bit but you'll just have to live with it. Life's a bit on the rubbish side but I've felt better since writing this post, Joe +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+