yellow hair, you are a funny bear. but i have black hair now. actually, it was blue for a few days. that was fun. i bought a silky blue blouse with dreamy sleeves just to match. then i had a *real day* with an email boy named jonathan. we had a picnic on a green near the MOMA in his hometown of san francisco. i bought him a bubble blowing set for his birthday. and we brought a frisbee, but it was a better day for kites. however, we just ended up drawing self-portraits with crayons and colored pencils, and one of them was him and i with our respective cats peeking out from behind us on a plaid aeroplane in space flying toward an ikea planetoid chair complete with cupholders. we named the planetoid chair "j�j�nsk�". we double exposed izone photos and looked at neato modern art things. then we met up with some friends to see miyazaki's "spirited away" in japanese. it was sweet and too cute. i think i popped, it was so cute. after the movie and dinner, the real day came to a close with receipt of one preciously wrapped gift, which i insisted on not opening for a while, just so i could cherish the thought of getting a gift for no apparent reason, wrapped in such a way that i'd have wrapped myself to give to someone i liked. but once i got in bed at home (100 miles later), i opened it as fast as i could, and played with the toys therein until i felt sleepy. it was a good day. the only thing that could've made it better is if it didn't matter that the email boy wasn't someone else. one year has passed since *he* entered my life. the events have repeated, but the results have been painfully different. it's as if my being expected it all to happen again. but he came and went, without Thee Moment recurring. so i know... i know that it's done. and it's time to move on. so i'll have real days once in a while. but i've resigned myself to living with a certain emptiness in there. and someday i'll put oil to canvas to depict it. it'll look like one of those neato modern art things. with a big fat hole in it where some orange used to be. i shouldn't be listening to cat power. i should be sleeping. hearts, juju __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Games - play chess, backgammon, pool and more http://games.yahoo.com/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+