jen's firestarting experience got me reliving my unbelievable bad luck with anything flammable. i mean, to set fire to everything once is tragic, but unlucky. twice, you're getting careless, but THREE times!! well, it gets you an unshakable reputation as a pyromaniac, and people *ironically* running for cover whenever you light a fag. the first time genuinely wasn't my fault...well not really. i'd had this bitchy slapping fight with this girl, which obviously i won, sort of. i then made the mistake of gloating (well she's a mingin' cow, what can you do?) and, umm, she retaliated by setting fire to my hair! we put it out fairly rapidly, in fact she helped, i don't *think* she meant the curls to actually light, but it was shit scary. it was so unreal, seeing out of the corner of your eye this flame working it's way up.... <shudder> the second time was a couple of months after i first quit smoking, and in a desperate bid to avoid thinking about nicotine, i was clearing out my room. we're talking piles of magazines, old coursework, lots of paper basically...and paper burns. fast. i found an old lighter, and me being me, starts setting fire to stuff. not big fires mind, i just like watching scraps of maths coursework burn. and then i couldn't put it out. i freaked like fuck, i was holding an exploration into pythagorean triples in a hand that was being scorched. i panicked completely and dropped it, into a bin liner full of...paper. the whole thing was going up, smoke everywhere, toxic fumes from the melting bin liner, and i couldn't get to the door. i was the only person in the house, otherwise i'd have probably just carried on screaming till someone got me out. as it was, i can honestly say that in times of utter desperation, you are a lot braver than you think. i put it out with a pair of jeans and my dm's. by the time it was out i was exhausted and in such a state, it was awful. i got into such shit and all, the house stank like a bonfire for a good few days afterwards. third time wasn't too long ago, one of my many culinary disasters not merely being inedible, but in fact burning half the kitchen...who'd have thought tea cosies hanging over hobs could be that dangerous?? luckily, i managed to dump all burning items into the sink this time. caused a lot of smoke, but not too much scorching. so, who's coming out for a fag with me then....?! the lovely honey, while slagging the new primals album (don't listen to him, it's fantastic!) said this:

Someone mentioned people whose favourite childrens' television programme was only on in their region, to which I can only say "Gus Honeybun". And "Adrian Evans". And "Tim Hopkins".

ahh, gus honeybun. he must vomit with envy everytime fern britten's on the telly. which is so often, he can't have time to eat. she just managed that step up to national tv so much better than dear old gus. i've almost converted someone to b&s!! mind you, this someone has just paid real money (as opposed to monopoly money) to see slipknot, so i'm not sure if her comments of 'they're not as bad as i thought...ooh that's quite cute actually' about 'the state i am in' should be taken as a compliment or not...and this coming from someone who's fave band is take that...pot. kettle. black? never! <oops, supposed to have left for work by now> lovin' and leavin' you all rachel xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+