hi. i've been on this list for over a year now and i'm still terrified to post. i've always been afraid of what people are going to think of me because it seems to be really judgemental. everyone supports each other, but only if their posts are good. so i'm going to give it a try now. i'm expecting it to take a while, but i've got my lucky strikes and bottle of merlot here to help me. i hope my lower case letters don't bother you. the lovely lesley jo said this earlier, 'where are the big lesbo dykes?? i know there are at least two of us.' it made me happy as it was the first time i'd been mentioned on the list, even if it wasn't by name. so, i'm alyssa marie. i live in california. i'm obsessed with music, mostly pop. my favorite labels are subway and k. i really want to learn about old soul, funk, and underground hip-hop, but i don't know where to start. i've got a crushed heart right now. my amazing girlfriend broke up with me. i still fall in love with her a bit more every time i think of her. i'm feeling pretty secure though that we'll get back together eventually. it's not an obsessive thing, just a 'i know this is true love and we're meant to be together' thing. still, it's hard and i've been very sad. it's two weeks today. i can't let go of the lucy doll she got me at christmas. that was enough poor me for today. i'm thinking that maybe i should leave this as it is now. oh, one thing i want to mention for any of you that are in california. i'm trying to help pass a bill called ab222 that would offer protection to gay kids or kids who are perceived to be gay all through school. some of you have offered stories have harrassment today so maybe a couple of you might be willing to write a couple letters. you can e-mail me for information. c'mon, do it for the children. i hope that wasn't against list rules. so that will be my first real post. please be gentle with me. i tried. hope you're all well. take care. *alyssa marie* +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+