HELLO SINISTER!!!!! The other night I was laying in my bed listening to a bootleg of B&S live in L.A. on September 6th, 2001. (Thanks again, Ernie!) So many memories came flooding back to me... I could recall the visual excitement of gazing upon our beloved band as I listen to the very sounds I had heard live that night. It's so bizarre for me to hear the exact words Stuart spoke when acknowledging the boy and me just standing there in the crowd, speaking DIRECTLY to us! Does this actually happen to unsuspecting people? Does it happen to me? I barely even *got* tickets to this show, let alone imagined that I would ever be on the stage with my favorite band and favorite boy toy! I miss the boy. I miss my 'Dog On Wheels' and 'Lazy Line Painter Jane' eps that he stole from me, leaving me with only the empty cases. It's very symbolic of me and him, I suppose. Because all I really had was the empty case and the liner notes all along. I'd like to think that magical things like being asked to dance onstage with B&S happen because of good luck. Or because I'm MAGNETIC! Isn't that a lovely way to think of yourself? *You're irresistible!* But the idea that me and the boy always got special attention because we were a "good looking couple" doesn't necessarily add any depth to the superficial relationship that we had. It seems like any time even through November, that the boy and I went out we still get recognized from the B&S show... I have to say that being associated with B&S is G-R-A-T-E!! I am hoping to make some even more special memories when I see them again in less than a month with the adorable Mr. Ben Apps in a faraway land! *HOW ROMANTIC*! One thing is quite clear. My heart is knotted up with Belle & Sebastian's strings. Everything that means anything to me comes down to this band and these songs. That's what is on my mind right now. And I'd like to say that even though I swore I would *never ever* go to the Coachella festival here in the Indio desert of California EVER again (despite the fact that I saw Morrissey from about 10 feet away and cried, PLUS saw Super Furry Animals and Bis!) Mainly I swore off the festival because it is WAY TOO HOT and TOO EXPENSIVE, but because Belle & Sebastian will be there this year, so will I. And it will be WORTH EVERY PENNY and ounce of sweat to be there. Plus, I'll get to camp with Sara Bus Stopper (right, Sara?!)! Props to Neil. You rock my world! So, recently I was rereading your posts from about the 1st through the 7th of this month, and these are some things that caught my attention... *****WELCOME***** Welcome Ollie Fox! Group Hug!! *****B&S GATHERINGS***** Eric the Half a Bee wrote: "I think B&S should do a prison tour; I bet that would go over smashingly." I can imagine how cute they'd all look if they dressed up in prison jumpsuits!! Dirty Vicar wrote: "It would be great if B&S collaborated with Missy Elliot. She could sing about how hot she is and Stevie and Stuart could sing about how frightened of her they are, and then Isobel & Sarah could pop up and sing a 'hey, remember us boys?' line." The song could be called "Get UR Twee On" and released on a special 12" vinyl format with a gatefold cover full of photos and 5 different remixes. I'd buy that in a second! Jason Andreas was playing with the B&S Song generator and the results were slightly insulting but predominantly hilarious! David Moore wrote of "The Magic of a Kind Word": "convince me that Stuart doesn't actually keep singing "Shake, Mother Goose" throughout it." I think this is one of my most favorite mishearings ever!!! Ha-ha-larious!!! Gordon wrote: "What about 500 of us, from all over the world, camping in a circus big top for a week? We could do some useful community project, say, and invite belle and seb to take part in the evening revelries." I am pretty sure that's going to be us here in Cali at the Coachella festival! Everyone from all over the world should come, too! I'm sad that Nik Ovenden is going to miss it by a mere 2 weeks! *****MEET UPS***** Amy "Rachel Applejacks" Longcore wrote about a Michigan Midwest meet up: "i've been thinking independance day weekend would be good for the meet up." and then The Cat's PJs Jason wrote: "Our beloved Amy Applejacks has proposed a Sinister midwest gathering, and I'm all for it. I'm willing and eager to do a Sinister round up in the Chicagoland region and drive all the little doggies down the trail to wherever Ms. Applejacks wishes." That is a WONDERFUL idea! I hope that Ben will be here with me during the 4th of July and maybe we can have a nice Southern California meet up then, too. Speaking of meet ups: *****SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MEET UP***** SATURDAY FEB 23, 7:15 PM at the SUNSET 5 THEATER/VIRGIN MEGASTORE IN HOLLYWOOD. We will see 'Storytelling' at 7:45 and then venture to Swingers Restaurant on Beverly for dinner. Yippee! Look out for the Reporting Back! *****YORK SINISTER MASSIVE***** Assman Walton wrote: "Mr Stuart Hallifax noted that he didn't have anything more humourous to add than the fact that Feather Boa walked in a puddle, and that Archel has a strap-on." I think it's soooooooo entertaining when you all get together, and I especially like it when you go to a computer and write stuff together for us all to read! Archel Toast wrote: "i can remember very little (apart from asm's middle name which i will probably never forget - oh, it's not 'studmuffin' by the way)." The suspense is killing me... is his middle name Danger? Har! *****POLAND SINISTER MASSIVE***** Ola "Rachola Cinnamon" wrote of her adventures with Maja and James Dancin Hatchback in Poland: " the evening continued with The Great Escape Into The Wardrobe (ever listened to sigur r�s when hidden in a wardrobe? no? well try it! ;)) and then we all went 'Oh, Let's Go Out&Get A 2nd Bottle Of Wine!' it was about 3am methinks. ah well.. we didn't go to sleep till about 5 or so = ) lalala.." I am going to have to try this sitting in a closet drinking wine and listening to music thing... except my closet is pretty small... Or maybe me and my friends will just have to take turns sitting in the closet. But it *is* pretty fun to be crammed into a closet with two lovely ladies, innit Dancin' H? I am so happy that you all had a fun time there, and I hope that your car wasn't turned into a planter by the time you returned to London! *****BAKERS DOESN'T***** A little side story about this heading. It's a phrase that my friends and I use to describe what might be called "dry humping" here... because we knew a boy with the last name Baker who is very religious and was so riddled with guilt for dry humping his girlfriend that he had to confess. From that moment on, the act became known as the "Bakers Doesn't" to me and my posse, that is, until my sister Amber coined the phrase "Xtreme Snuggling"... and um, yeah, we're retarded. Anyway I thought it would make a good heading for quoting the Bakers Baker and Lindsey Lou! They posted some beautiful words recently: LindseyLou Baker wrote: "the fortune in my fortune cookie tonight said my love of life would carry me through any circumstance, and for once, i think it might be true. i have wondered what it would be like to keep a real, i suppose, non-tour diary many times in my life, and have often tried to do the deed but to no avail." I just recently looked through the journal I had kept during my travels following Suede's '97 North American tour, and I always felt guilty for not writing down everything. I got down everything from the first 2 days and then the rest is bits and pieces. The reason I got it out at all was because I *swear* I remember meeting Genevieve Wesley from this here list in Ottawa, and I was hoping that I had written something down. Of course, I didn't find anything conclusive, but the stuff that I *did* write down was so funny! So much of it I had forgotten all about. I even stumbled upon a page that Mr. Brett Anderson himself had written... something along the lines of "we're not going to do anything even slightly interesting on this tour." and I was blown away! I mean, shit, talk about an ingrate! I have this thing shoved away in a drawer because I "never finished" my journal, and it is LOADED with grate things!! So, my perspective on journal-writing has totally changed. I'm going to try to write more, but not feel as if I am obligated to write regularly or even often. Even just to write down the stupid things that me and my friends say to each other like the "Baker's Doesn't"... that is something that I want to remember but will probably fade away into oblivion in 6 months, you know? And then Lindsey Lou said: "everything this week has reminded me of something else, someone else, and i like it that way. i like it that when i wake up to a certain song i think of a day or an event or a smell or a sound, and the moments of each day become weighted with meaning. the bottle of vodka will always be a party or a person or two and the first bottle of booze ever to reside in my apartment. the boy will always be the superchunk will always be the radio will always be the snow day will always be the unexpected b&s will always be sinister. i like that." I like that, too! You put it so eloquently! Yay Lindsey!!!! Baker,Baker wrote: "childishly, i cope with my sadness by using it as a great big magnifying lens for other things, like music. or movies, or art. gosh...have you ever considered how insignificant music and art would be in your life if you'd never ever felt terribly sad once in your life?" Yeah... everything would just seem so bland in comparison to constant happiness! And Baker, Baker wrote the most GORGEOUS thing: "in chicago, you don't see many stars. the air is too thick with the dead skin off of our cars and the warm breath of our factories making the sky steamy and dusty, like dirty glasses that you've touched too much and then come inside out of the cold with. instead of stars, we have airplanes. last time i checked, o'hare was still the busiest airport in the world, and we have lots of beautiful, blinking stars that race each other around the sky." Sometimes I forget to go outside and look at the sky. Usually, I glimpse up at the stars when I get out of my car in the driveway when my work day is done. But then it's only for a second, and maybe I do it just to make sure that the stars are still there and that they haven't all changed into airplanes... but I think I need to look at the sky more often. When I was a kid I used to stare up at the sky for hours, and I would try to comprehend how far up the atmosphere actually went before it was outer space. Sometimes I would just stand in the middle of the cul de sac and spin as I stared at the clouds, and the wire from the street lamps would stretch across my field of vision and spin around with me. It made me feel like I was on some weird carnival ride. *****LIST ABUSE***** Rachel Grapenut wrote: "List abuse is writing someone a personal message, trying to find a roommate or a ride to such and such town or other place..but not necisarily talking about things that don't relate to belle and sebastian, don't you agree?" Yes, I agree. I think the 15 minute rule is a good one; that we should take at least 15 minutes to write what we want to say to everybody. It seems like everyone who posts does that. Patrick Doyle got caught on Sinister at school and had to unsubscribe. But before he departed, he wrote about the student teacher in PE class saying that they knew who Belle & Sebastian are, and guessed that they were from the '70's or '80's to which Patrick replied: "i think you'll find that's Simon and Garfunkel" How funny! Last weekend I was talking to this guy Fred who is the receptionist at the salon where some of my friends work, and I told him that I was going to see B&S and he said "oh yeah, I've heard of them" and this other girl said "Who are they?" and he said "oh they're old, like from the '80's, they've been around forever!" I wonder if it's a common misconception about B&S... and if it is, is it because people are confusing them with a different band, or if they just think that they sound like they're from the '80's? Hmmmmmm. David Stankin' wrote of Sinister: "There should be some sort of warning on the site. I know there�s some vague talk about pulling and getting into people�s underpants and so on, but really, I think that just encourages people." Yeah, I think we're a strange breed around here. A lot of people I know don't understand the Sinister phenomenon and there is no way to explain it. And even further now, I am facing criticism from co-workers who just "think it's weird" that I met Ben through Sinister and that I actually view this as a "real relationship"... um... I think some people don't want to admit how superficial relationships can be even when you're face to face every day. And frankly, I don't give a fuck what other people say about it. I have a hard time finding like-minded people around here. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm an oddball, and if this internet list is where I can settle down with some old story about a boy who's just like me, then that is where I belong. That's my view on it, anyway! :) Is talking about the list on the list list abuse? Props to Jenny Payne for organizing the Sinister Valentine exchange thing! John T. Cat, Esq. posted a mango pineapple salsa recipe and I can't wait to try it! Mark C wrote: "Household tip of the day - don't let girls use your shower, or you'll be picking skanky bits of hair and unmentionable gunk out of the plughole on a weekly basis ;-)" Thanks Mark, but are we supposed to believe that this is really true? (that you've had a naked girl in your house! haw-haw!) *****ONLY SLIGHTLY MENTAL***** Matt Henderson wrote: "If all good things come to an end, surely all bad things do to? I think the key to beating depression is finding that end, or at least knowing it's out there." Yeah, I think so! I mean, you all have heard my stories about fighting depression and being medicated, etc. But I have never once thought about killing myself. I think maybe because I'm too full of myself to end it all, but more than that because even in the lowest of low times, I would think to myself that things can only get better. And there was one occasion when I was wallowing in my misery and I asked "how can things get any worse?" and I got my answer in the form of a car accident, and my troubles that had me reeling before seemed less tragic in comparison to not having my car for 2 months due to insurance red tape and mistakes! arrgghhh! But for the most part, I think that good times and bad times come in cycles. All I can do for myself is take medication to fix the chemical thing and then try to think positively. The power of optimism is astounding. Steven Rhodes makes me laugh! He wrote: " I had this momentary lapse of reason and instead of putting the milk back in the fridge, I put it in the cupboard. Have you ever done this? I actually did a similar thing the other day. I was driving home from work and instead of driving home I flew to Geraldton, Western Australia. It was really embarrassing." Yeah, I hate it when that happens! And the bit about cats hating the beach, oh, that KILLED me!! I felt like I was reading Steven's stand-up act!! :) Rachel Grapenut wrote: "My nostalgia (though some would consiter me a child, I do not!) is mostly for the opertunity to be childish,something that is discouraged past childhood, but really does not have to be and should not be." I see what you mean. I don't feel discouraged about being childish. Or "child-like" as ColinBoy used to say. I think that it's important to be child-like. I just find that now that I'm a grown-up, nobody forces me to play outside. I remember when I was a kid and me and my sister and our 2 brothers would be driving my mom crazy and she would force us to play outside for a while. And like the memory of spinning around looking at the sky, I can remember how it felt to notice the little nuances in the weather when the sun started setting later in the evenings as spring approached, and how it felt to get so hot from running around in the mild California winter twilight until the street lights came on. Yet my cheeks would be beet red and freezing cold on the surface and my mom would yell at me for taking off my coat in the middle of the front yard because it was too hot to wear whilst riding my bike around. And now the street lights are on before I even get home from work, so I wouldn't have time to force MYSELF to "play outside" even if I wanted to despite the fact that the neighbors would think I was crazy (er). But I think this is what is missing from my life. The simplicity of being forced to play outside... Kirsten Kenyon wrote: "my goodness. looking back, it's now quite clear that my present state of dorkiness is the cruel denouement of years of...dork training." I, too, come from a long line of dorks. It just happens when you're raised to break into song at the mention of any sentence that resembles a song lyric, or to make the most ridiculous puns out of anything. I think that we should embrace our dork lineage and just take comfort in the knowledge that we are not alone! :) And at least we have some "culture" to pass on to our children! *****FOR ME TO MP3 ON***** David White wrote about having his MP3s on his B&S site removed: "I'd also be mightily pissed off if I'd written music that people were stealing at my expense BUT let's not forget here that I wasn't actively letting people download the entire back-catalogue of Belle & Sebastian, I was letting them download a few rare and unreleased tracks." Yeah, that makes me sooo mad! I'm just glad that I pretty much copied everything I wanted to cd before all this happened. If anyone is looking for copies of anything, I can check and see if I have what you're looking for. Jordi wrote: "I heard once that everything that is being done against mp3 would be like coming back to the 50�s and have some official governments trying to forbid radio." That is such a good analogy. How easily we forget the early struggles of social and technological revolution! *****DIDN'T CHU KNOW?***** "Buddists all exclusively listen to Drum 'n Bass, Jazz and Easy Listening and no other forms of music, because they are too at ease with the world and thus aren't miserable enough to care for the whiny lyrics of Morrisey despite the beautiful melodic tunes that often go with them." Oops, then Michael Vance stepped in, speaking of being BUDDHIST and a MORRISSEY FAN! Sorry Kenny! It was a good theory, though! *****WHAT'S IN A NAME?***** Mandee wrote of her band, Daniel Tiger's, demise: "What happens after the end of our fakery? The four of us decided on pursuing solo careers--myself recording under the assumed identity of Simone Turner. We kicked around the idea of forming another band called Swimbuddy. Then another one called The Corn Horns. But where's the real ambition? There only seems to be a real motivation to do something that will only amount to a load of more fakery." I had some fake bands with my friends... my stage name was Rain Bowie and Vicky's name was Sassy Chavelle. We were the fake superstars of bands like Larue, Mascaria, and Maidavale. And who could forget those fake one hit wonders, Mimosa? Errm, everybody! I am quite fond of The Corn Horns, Mandee! (well, I imagine I am, just because the name is swell!) I think that CookieLove is a grate name for a band, and that Astrid is very cute! I liked the name Brighten, too. To Rachel Grapenut, I'd like to say that at one point I had made a draft to post that had comments in it about her and Max's lovely lovely posts and it just sat there too long and got old and so I never posted it. But I took notice, I really did! :) Well, in closing, I'd just like to say that you're all wonderful. I hope to meet some of you when I'm in London next month visiting Ben (which will be March 14-24). THANK YOU to those of you who have written lately to tell me that you like my mega posts. It makes me feel a lot less self-indulgent when I send a 24k post to the list! And to those who I am annoying, sorry in advance! I feel that this one is particularly boastful and I don't mean to be that way with all of my talk about B&S and the meet up and Suede and it's only stuff... you know that, right? Thanks for giving me a good place to express myself. Shout outs to the Rachels (�VIVA RACHELS!) and love to you all! Have fun everyone! love, Rachel fruitloop *****FAVORITE QUOTES***** "why dont i have someone? i dont look like a toad and im not into recreational cannibalism?" - Stine "Don't try to disown yourself like a friend you're ashamed of being seen with by the cool kids." - Kate Keenan "i didn't see how i could be "stuck" anywhere except where i was, and i told her so." - Kirsten Kenyon "yeah......its good to reflect sometimes." - Caleb Ben Moore "I like to dress like I did when I was four years old." - David Stankin' Cooter __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Sports - Coverage of the 2002 Olympic Games http://sports.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+