Sitting there, togeher listening to the smiths. An end to the 5 years refusal to listen. I don't know exactly what the reason for not wanting to before, although a lot of it was to do with jealousy. The music belonged to girls he had known before me, the music had filled the age gap between us and the music had meant so much to him. I didn't want to become something that he already was, or someone he had already known. Through sheer stuburness I refused to listen. Oh, but, sitting there like that. I didn't want this to end. Despite all of the arguing, despite the fact he has a new girlfriend, despite the fact have been wishing for him to leave for the last month or so. I just didn't want this to end. Tears clouded my eyes and I sucked hard at my cheeks. This was to be the last time we would sit together in a house of our own. He flicked through songs and told me a bit about the ones he liked , and a bit about why. It was a hopeful faking of a new begining. I could have curled up with my head on his chest and listened to him breathe in and out. Instead we sat upright barely looking at each other until the CD finished. I don't know what will happen now, I suppose tomorrow he will get the keys to his knew flat, and I suppose tomorrow I will come home to a bouncy dog and no one else. Well Take Care, Rachel _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+