hello. so many amazing people, all so far away. i like reading all of the stories of the romance affairs that you all seem to have. i am happy to see that you all seem so happy together, although sometimes i become a little bit jealous of you, i wish i can get the bravery to also travel to so far away for a glimer of hope, as i can't even bring up the courage to tell a boy that i like him. and now, he is with a girl, but she is very beautiful, and so i am happy for him, in my mind, at least. in my heart everytime they kiss it is like an arrow flying through. is there an anti cupid that exists in order to use his arrows to tarnish broken hearts? maybe i should become more brave, or careless at least. in the past i always had to make sure, to make sure that he is perfect for me, but i never do. all i ever do is procrastinate and by the time i feel ready, when their blemishs become their personalities, they would fly away, when they've found the perfect girl, or, just disappear without a trace. another year, but it doesn't mean much to me anymore. i don't mind being celibate for another year, but maybe i should. i remember in a song, a girl said "the best shield is to accept the pain, then what can really destroy me". maybe she's right. lola. _________________________________________________________________ Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+