Last night, I dreamt I was snogging a listee. No, I'm not going to tell you who. It was not Mark Casarotto. Spaced series two in less than twenty hours, this is good, this is very good. The trailers look amazing. Samantha Mumba can't dance and mimes on her records, and she isn't even pretty, so why isn't it me singing "Always come back to your love" on 'Steps 2 The Stars' and being a pop-miniceleb? No fair. Are you expecting funniness from this, this list message by Greg? Don't get too hopeful. It's two in the morning. Here are some amusing things, to make up for the lack of amusing things in the e-mail to come. Oh, there will be a few, perhaps even several, in the long and rambling text, but these things, these things immediately below, they are created by other people. These other people, who created these things, they are funny. Funny people. Funny little man, ahahaha! I stamp on your head! Squish! Now you funny little man with mushed up head, ahahaha! *Ahem* I) What do you get if you cross a reluctant agnostic, an insomniac and a dyslectic? Someone who stays up all night tossing and turning, worrying about whether there's a dog. II) Yesterday, police arrested two youths. One had been drinking battery acid, the other had been eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off. III) This site features German men having sex with melons: http://www.einsames-vergnuegen.at/melone/index.htm I told Ken's "What's red and runs at mirrors? Red Bull" joke to someone, and they nearly fell over laughing. Respect, Ken. Two people mailed sini to say that the Final Fantasy games were not shit. By my calculations, over one thousand people did not mail this list to say that the Final Fantasy games were not shit. Guys, you're lovely and no doubt well-coiffured, but you know, I could probably find more than one in five hundred people who thought Toploader were not shit. What does this say about the Final Fantasy games? Yes, it says that they are worse than Toploader. Actually, since I've seen the webpages of obssessional FF fans, and they fill me with fear and terror, and because I'm easily tracable from 192.com and thus correspondingly You Know Where I Live, I'm going to drop this debate now. You can carry it on if you really really want to. In fact, it's been quite the Thursday for replying to Gregcomments. Steven Kado claimed he types things like "elements of a mass culture based on a set of aesthetics not a set of immutable values" after seventeen 'Swiss Cottage Sudberries' (6 parts vodka, one part Schweppes, two parts Red Bull, one part cucumbers). I believe his exact phrase was "hamfisted drunken rants". When I am drunk, I type things like "I am durnk", "No, actally I thikn I am sobe nw" and "Hum, Ishoulfd prbolably sleep". Conclusions - Monsigneur Kado is clever, Monsigneur Kado is especially clever when it comes to critiques of No Logo, Monsigneur Kado can hold his booze and also, Monsigneur Kado is modest. However, he is not as modest as Christiaaaaan, who daintily declined to directly praise his genetalia with: "Hopefully Puffy won't be around this time. He's always trying to grab my weiner. It's so annoying. I mean, he has his own! What's he need mine for?". His, Christiaaaaaan, are simply not as prettily shaped as yours. Why'd you think think Ms. 'Lo dumped him? And does anyone else reckon that J.Lo might well be the sister/wife/daughter/mother of a certain S.Lo, Skee to his friends. A classic one-hit wonder, of course, but "Holding On" by his Lo-ity is surprisingly tolerable. Two possibly overlapping people also mentioned Robot Wars, in a disparaging way. I can't really work up the energy to praise Robot Wars in the same way that I become suddenly energized to slam Final Fantasy games (especially those unavoidable, random, frequently-plot-incompatible, tiring, why-can't-I-see-them-approaching-on-the-fucking-screen, pointless, oh-did-I-mention-the-terrible-combat-system, boring, infight-background-graphics-not-normally-connected-by-anything-more-than-the -most tenous-thread-to-the-current-game-situation-type fights that are practically the only way to get to a half-tolerable experience level in FF7 and indeed virtually every other one of that terrible series. I really hate those. Other RPGs use little clever subquests for the same purpose, but I guess that takes game design effort...) so, I'll just say: Robot Wars is not for everyone. It is for silly little immature boys. I am a silly little immature boy. Thank you. (Listen to Iron Maiden bay-bee, with me...) 'Cor, this is getting a bit Isobel Lark, no? Frenzied defensiveness, non-existant insults... Next thing I'll be claiming you lot always wanted to kick me off the list, 'cos you knew Honey fancied me and were jealous or something.... Why is 'Fight Song' by Marilyn Manson at No.19 in the charts when Limp Bizkit goes to number one? It even features in that genuinely fab Mary Anne Hobbes Radio One Show ad....when are Radio One DJs going to walk through MY educational compound giving out free records? As long as its not bloody Jo Whiley. Is it Wiley or Whiley? Sudden adolescent-Sini-boy-type thought: If I ever get to meet a pwetty and suitably aged girl with a greater propensity to evil than myself, I'm like 90% sure I'll end up developing a desperate crush on her, which would in fact be the first desperate-type of my entire life, thus far, which isn't very impressive, come to think of it. This is probably a bad thing. I know I'd be very, very hesitant to go out with me, let alone someone with even less accord for others... That was originally relevant to the Ruvi debate, but was edited to remove all the lies, and hence lost aforementioned relevance. Just so you know... Rinaldo called Infinite Jest the only 1500 page book you'll want to read three times. Rinaldo is correct. He is not exagerrating, either. Sinisperines, please, read Infinite Jest. Rin (or others), is that line about "the only's child fascination with sibling incest" from I.J. or not? It's been stuck in my head all day, and I can't remember. Listening to Leonard Cohen makes me feel somehow dirty... I really shouldn't be liking things from The Past. It's childhood nostalgia, being seven and unambigously happy, watching WWF wrestling on mute while "Everybody Knows" or something by Joan Baez or The Doors sort of glided through the hi-fi, and in the background the grown-ups played advanced Dungeons and Dragons. They taught me to play it too, which is why I really do get terribly offended when someone says something like "crawl back to the computer engineering building in yr semen stained track suit dreaming of your next chance to listen to music about trolls and gobblins and shit with your other dandruff-y friends". Not at the slagging off of role-players, because if you've never been a serious D&D-er, you can't even /imagine/ how pathetic it can get, and anyway, I saw the light and stopped years ago. But it's quite a harmful stereotype, and one that it does no good to perpetuate. Perhaps it's no worse than me calling Stereophonics fans stupid or badly dressed, but outside of the confines of M.I.T/Milan fashion academies, no-one was ever beaten up on suspicion they were stupid or badly-dressed. Mainly, though, I just don't like the implication I have dandruff :P Y'know in #Sinister when people play ACRO? That's the best game ever, I'm thinking. There was a running acro joke about Ken fucking rabbits on Wednesday - that's Entertainment, kids. Why is this a long post? This was meant to be a short post. Oh baby, I just can't control mah fingers. Wu Tang is a sea that I've travelled in.... Greg +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+