March 1999 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: FW: And another piece of garbage
by Keith Watson 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

Here's something I got sent that I figured Americans travelling over here would probably be into if they're coming over for Bowliefest. "Advice for Tourists" The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say "I'd love to come to the pub but I haven't got any goolies." "Quid" is the modern word for what was once called a "shilling" - the equivalent of seventeen cents American. If you are fond of someone, you should tell him he is a "great tosser" - he will be touched. The English are a notoriously tactile, demonstrative people, and if you want to fit in you should hold hands with your acquaintances and tossers when you walk down the street. Habits Ever since their Tory government wholeheartedly embraced full union with Europe, the Brits have been attempting to adopt certain continental customs, such as the large midday meal followed by a two or three hour siesta, which they call a "wank." As this is still a fairly new practice in Britain, it is not uncommon for people to oversleep (alarm clocks, alas, do not work there due to the magnetic pull from Greenwich). If you are late for supper, simply apologise and explain that you were having a wank - everyone will understand and forgive you. Universities University archives and manuscript collections are still governed by quaint medieval rules retained out of respect for tradition; hence patrons are expected to bring to the reading rooms their own ink-pots and a small knife for sharpening their quills. Observing these customs will signal to the librarians that you are "in the know"- one of the inner circle, as it were, for the rules are unwritten and not posted anywhere in the library. Likewise, it is customary to kiss the librarian on both cheeks when he/she brings a manuscript you've requested, a practice dating back to the reign of Henry VI. One of the most delightful ways to spend an afternoon in Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their flat- bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole. This is known as "cottaging." Many of the boats (called "yer-i-nals") are privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent them to the public by the hour. Just tell a professor or policeman that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to know where the public yerinals are. The poles must be treated with vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it's a good idea to buy a can of Mazola and have it on you when you ask directions to the yerinals. That way people will know you are an experienced cottager. Food British cuisine enjoys a well deserved reputation as the most sublime gastronomic pleasure available to man. Thanks to today's robust dollar, the American traveller can easily afford to dine out several times a week (rest assured that a British meal is worth interrupting your afternoon wank for). Few foreigners are aware that there are several grades of meat in the UK. The best cuts of meat, like the best bottles of gin, bear Her Majesty's seal, called the British Stamp of Excellence (BSE). When you go to a fine restaurant, tell your waiter you want BSE beef and won't settle for anything less. If he balks at your request, custom dictates that you jerk your head imperiously back and forth while rolling your eyes to show him who is boss. Once the waiter realises you are a person of discriminating taste, he may offer to let you peruse the restaurant's list of exquisite British wines. If he does not, you should order one anyway. The best wine grapes grow on the steep, chalky hillsides of Yorkshire and East Anglia-try an Ely '84 or Ripon '88 for a rare treat indeed. When the bill for your meal comes it will show a suggested amount. Pay whatever you think is fair, unless you plan to dine there again, in which case you should simply walk out; the restaurant host will understand that he should run a tab for you. Transportation Public taxis are subsidised by the Her Majesty's Government. A taxi ride in London costs two pounds, no matter how far you travel. If a taxi driver tries to overcharge you, you should yell "I think not, you charlatan!", then grab the nearest policeman (bobby) and have the driver disciplined. It is rarely necessary to take a taxi, though, since bus drivers are required to make detours at patrons' requests. Just board any bus, pay your fare of thruppence (the heavy gold-colored coins are "pence"), and state your destination clearly to the driver, e.g.: "Please take me to the British Library." A driver will frequently try to have a bit of harmless fun by pretending he doesn't go to your requested destination. Ignore him, as he is only teasing the American tourist (little does he know you're not so ignorant!). For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be the most economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman. Chivalry is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on theTube. Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube musicians. Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disturb the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a signal that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very few people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation. One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at Heathrow airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international Jewish peace organization-the "shin" stands for "shalom"). As savvy travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority treatment as you make your way through customs. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The Miseducation of Bernard Hill
by PJMiller 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

Warrander John's presence in Madrid certainly seems to have brought about a turnaround in their flailing football fortunes of late. In the 86th minute, a huge Aberdonian streaker did a fifty metre dash across the pitch, before being roughly manhandled to the ground by his wife. All of which inspired the Madrid boys to a last gasp winner. Scenes of jubilation ensued. Recently, we've all seen what sinister people power can do, and I think we were all suitably astonished. Some might say that it would be better to leave well alone, but a life without risks is like a meal without cheese. Before the last B&S album was released, I led a solitary campaign to get them to leave out all the gaps between songs. The outcome of this was a rather neat segue between dreams Space Boy and Dirty. If one man can achieve such a result, imagine what would happen if we all bombarded the B&S nerve centre with a special request for the next album! What I want to hear is a really horrible guitar solo overdubbed in the middle of each track, so horrible that no one can bloody stand it. I suggest "Coronarias Redig" by Deep Purple as a suitable model. This will be especially good because the new album will probably have a sticker on it saying "Brits Winners" on the front, the effects of which will be cancelled out by word of mouth about the horrible guitar solos. It's a winner. Send your request on the back of a sealed down envelope to: Neil the Manager, Belle and Sebastian, Glasgow, Scotland, England. According to disc jockey Andy Kershaw, indie pop is a forerunner of bhangra beat. Finally, today is International Working Women's Day, so a big shout to all the working birds on the list. Sister Disco PS: Which reminds me, it's sixties WHO, Fluffy. But very good nevertheless. It's on The WHO Sell Out, which is quite a tasteful album all round, and the CD version has about 186 bonus tracks on it, all of them well up to scratch. Isn't that France Gall on the back cover? +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: the WHO
by Keith Watson 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

I found this nice little piece on a site where WHO fans can talk about what they reckon to the various WHO albums... When I first heard Quadrophenia, my cat died. It was a moment that was to change my life, after all I loved that fucking moggy. But the music helped, and when ever I go back to the grave of Fred, the first and last love of my life, I always think of the sweeping melodies of "Love Reign O'er Me" or the catchy thrills of "Zoot Suit". I know deep down that my cat was a Mod, he wanted a GS scooter and his haircut neat, it's just a shame it all had to end so tragically. I loved my cat and my cat lurved Quadrophenia. PS, I'll miss you Fred Cheers, Keith. ps : it's at http://www.thewho.net/reviews/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Double deckers
by L. Kerr 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

Dear friends Like Young Master Tag, I am getting very excited about the Bowlie weekend, not least the excellent Double Decker bus idea, posted by Pam Berry. Do newsagents still sell streamers in multi-coloured packs, which we can trail out of the window on the M25, or whichever route we take to glorious Hastings? We can all rush to sit at the back upstairs,and some of the quieter ones can sit near the driver with the group leaders. Later on they can feel sick and have to stick their heads out of the window. The rest of us hard ones can sing "You canny shove your Granny off a bus" and "The back of Belle and Sebastian canny sing, canny sing, canny sing, the back of Belle and Sebastian canny sing, canny sing for peaaaaa-nuts." No! "The front of Belle and Sebastain canny sing...." etc etc So cheers to all involved in this plan. What a nice one. Linda +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Aaaaah!!!
by Pamela Hutchinson 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

Hello Isn't Andras lovely, giving us all a present on a Tuesday morning!!! I have 4 days of term left, one essay on Philip Larkin and I've got a cold, but none of this pressure gets to me cos I got sent a pressie through the information super highway! (a portrait of our sinister group) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) well bye bye will anyone of the more sinister among you be watching Black Box Recorder upstairs at the garage on Wed 24th March? Last time I saw them Luke Haines spilt my pint!!! Strange to say I didn't say anything! Hope you all enjoy yourselves at the fan convention on Thursday. Why does the stuff in London always happen when I'm at college? bye bye again pamela xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx -- xx xx ------------------------------------------------------------ x x x glampam says - 'thank-you for your time' - Look!! The sun's x x shining, turn the computer off and have some fun!! x ------------------------------------------------------------ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Postcard for You at Comedy Central
by aszolnoki＠hotmail.com 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

Dear You Lovely People, Andras sent a postcard to you from Comedy Central. To see it online, go to: http://www.comedycentral.com/greetings/index.tin?code=25233808356 Or you can go to: http://www.comedycentral.com/greetings/index.html and enter your code: 25233808356 Love, Comedy Central +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I'm going Dot Allison dotty! (NON B&S)
by Kin Woo 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

hello beautiful folk:) I didn't get a reply to my posting, though I didn't hold out much hope for it I guess but did any listee bootleg the Dot Allison gig? I know I sound desperate and pathetic (surprise...I am!) but I'm dying to hear live stuff from this most elusive of chanteuses. I got the lovely limited edition vinyl of "Tomorrow Never Comes" and an advance copy of " Mo Pop" when I was in London, and can tell her solo debut is going to be very special indeed. So please any listee who's taped the gig, please get in touch with me, either through this or my univerisity account: daftpunk(a)tartarus.uwa.edu.au and let's trade. I'd trade almost anything for it and I've got quite a lot of rarities to trade:) God I wish I was still living in London, but oh no, I have to return to Australia and study and all that:( Anyhoo enough blathering, hope to hear from some of you lovely folk soon and I promise my next posting is B&S related! (now where have you heard that one before huh listees?) seeya Kin Woo With A Star Upon Your Shoulder Lighting Up The Path As You Walk ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: lo-fidelity allstars at the Black Cat in DC
by lost madflowr 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

btw i am a dolt... wednesday (this wednesday) black cat - d.c. Lo-Fidelity Allstars w/ thunderball i will be : in the red room bar at 8, waiting for the doors to open at 8:30 wearing : blue shirt with mad written in the middle of a flowr. sorry for the sort of repost ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: lo-fidelity allstars at the Black Cat in DC
by lost madflowr 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

yO! :) right now it's 7:36 on monday night. i bought my ticket a few days ago. Lo-Fidelity Allstars are playing the black cat. woo! anyways, i know there are some local kids with neat taste in music and i was wondering if anyone is going to the show. i'll be there around 8 in the red room waiting for the doors to open at 8:30 and i will be wearing a blue shirt with mad written in the middle of a flowr. :) so there! if you see me, say hi. perhaps i should get sinister tattooed? onto my forehead? at sloan i wore a little sign around [and had my friend karyn wear it too] that said belle & sebastian. :) oh well. now playing - sparklehorse. anyone from philly care to house me when sparklehorse are playing in philly? :) please :) evol madflowr ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: try out the step back approach
by jessica 09 Mar '99

09 Mar '99

hi sinisterines, miss jessica has been veryvery busy doing laundry today, preparing for her rapidly approaching trip to england (and i have been corrected on my previous assumption that england was backwards; a kind soul reminded me that "it's not backwards, dear, it's just on the other side". bless.). i'm a little disappointed at the lack of enthusiasm towards the "welcome jessica" party - did i mention that i'm dynamic and have totally revamped my webpage? well, once again. www.geocities.com/Athens/Styx/3733 if nothing else, i hope i've inspired you to make a tax-deductible donation to the "send jessica to the bowlie weekend" fund. every donation over $100 gets a saucy photo. in b+s related news, the brit awards were not shown in part of toronto because our cable went out just 20 minutes before. so i've yet to feast my eyes on the formidable stuart murdoch in motion. i'll bet he moves with the grace of a dancing tiger in heat. <sigh>. scheduled london shopping stops include selfridge's, new look and shops on oxford street, m+s to see if it's any different in britain, office, and pressing my nose against the glass outside burberry's. if there are any sassy girl clothes stores that are essential for the blossoming twee queen, let me know. today's brit vocabulary: "i've got to go for a wee" tweekisses, jessicaxo * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * someone had spied on us, i suppose, as we sat beside the canal and ate the sandwiches, drinking not even orangeade or coca-cola but hot milk out of a thermos. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * t i n y s t a r @ w o r l d y . c o m (it's lovely being a girl) +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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