October 2001 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: no, chi-chi, no more bamboo...
by john john 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

dear sinister, i had a relatively quiet weekend, moaning, girning, just being my usual weekend-self. except, i wasnt quite as bad this time... the past two weekends ive spent having fun & stuff, going bowling, making a fool of myself, dancing, making a fool of myself, but with a smile on my face. most of saturday night i spent playing the guitar to the moon shining on the loch outside the window, thinking of the past few weekends & thinking happy thoughts i found a bunch of people who are really grate, in the year below me. i always knew they were fab, but i couldnt exactly go up to them & ask them to draw me a sheep. the year below me was blessed.. it has its neds, but about a quarter of the year are swell, which is a quarter more than all the previous 5th years in the 4 years or so. theyre so anti-clique, its quite funny. they might be *just a teen-c ween-c* bit cliquey, but then theyd slap themselves or something. oh, and one of them has Mr Bump on their folder *and* cringes at gold glitter being okay yeaay my mothers knitting me a bumblebee scarf for winter.. i cant wait! and on saturday, my darling sister bought a 1960 Beetle!! i never did understand her mini-obsession towards them, until i saw her with it yesterday.. ive been dreading the fact in four months that ill be able to learn to drive, but ive just seen the most gorgeous car ever (the only bit of rust i could see was actually bird-poo), finally giving me some incentive to not just stop in the middle of the road and cry on the steering wheel.. its got the coolest wee indicators, that stick out the side of the car like flapping ears och well, id best go.. take care johnjohn x _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Court Rectangular
by Stephen Hewitt 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

Notices from the Perfumed Palace of Princess Honey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oxford, 28 Sept. Ms Liz Dapyln, (formerly?) of this parish, received her BA Fine Arts (Second Upper) from the University. Ms Daplyn, most famous for her lovely cakes and appearence on University Challenge, said "where's the pub??" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Glasgow, 29 Sept. Ms Ailsa Ross, of this parish, married Mr Neil Watson (honorary member of this parish), at the Glasgow University Chapel. The bride looked beautiful in a delightful dress i think i'd be better off leaving to Ms Alder or Ms Lander to describe ;). Those present included Mr & Mrs CarsmileSteve, the King of Partick, Calumn Shearer Esq (of Shearer's Sinister Hotels), Ms Carey Lander, J Breams of the Antipodes, RJ Gillander, YokoJo, Ms JL Alder and 96 Esq. A lovely day/evening/next morning was had by all. a spoke for the group said "where's the pub?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ xoxo CarsmileSteve PS oh in glasgow we saw a wee rocking horse in a shop +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: hmm...nme with this quote
by Richard Kim Jones 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

i found this at the bottom f a previous post +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ hmm im not in a bedroom *slaps stupid nme writers* oh yeah hallo this is my first proper post to sinister yay hugs to all im not living im just killing time +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I spent a weekend wasted part 2
by Ken Chu 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

... so yes. The train journey to Leicester was, thank God, painless this time, 45 mins straight there. Was about to type a sinister email about my weekend then (so far) in this weird shop in Leicester which is also an Internet Café, but I was halfway to finishing typing the email as the time run out, and I didn't save it. :-( (Basically it was similar to I spent a weekend wasted part 1). Then Madeleine said Hello, in a rather posh voice, we then begun the evening at a *posh* pub, but we rose to the occasion and talked as poshly as we could, in fact, we have out-poshed the posh people who were there who were talking about jazz. I was surprised at how classy we were, but that's what middle class upbringing does for ya innit. We then carried on drinking and talked about various things like how we out-indied indie by being so indie that we're not indie, and stuff, until about 9:30pm when it was about time to go home, when James also from Leicester phoned and we thought "shall we wait for him? Although we have to work tomorrow and stuff" That thought very quickly become "fook it, what drink shall we have?" So me and James and Madeleine drank vodka and red bull aplenty, aplenty as in drinking two glasses of it at once using 4 straws. Then, of course going full circle, we saw the "tequila - £1 a shot" offer, that made us happy. Then it was closing time and time to go home, said goodbye, and I went back to the train station. Then, the thought came to me, "hmmm I should check the train times", so I phoned up the train time enquiry office and basically what the guy told me was "heh heh you are not getting home tonight, mate" Great. Add this to the "Things that Ken missed by a matter of minutes" list of this weekend. Thank you Madeleine who let me stay at her palace, which was HUGE! It's not an exaggeration to say that it was about 500 acres, so me and James and Madeleine drank more before passing out. Woke up the next day feeling a bit ill, which makes a change. Had to phone into work sick, but I was in the city centre and I can't find anywhere that doesn't sound like a STREET! Eventually had to settle for calling from a quiet-ish WH Smith's and hope that no one noticed. Then James shown me the wonders of Leicester, before getting a COACH ticket back home, I was going to burn my return train ticket in anger, but I didn't have a lighter. Got back to Milton Keynes finally about 2 hours ago, feeling like an absolute drunken wreck, but what a great exciting weekend. I'm glad I am writing the post today rather than yesterday now. Mmmm, work tomorrow. Sleep deprivation and Red Bull Ken P.S.: My name is Ken and I was an alcoholic. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I spent a weekend wasted part 1
by Ken Chu 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

Hello, I went to Nottingham for the weekend, it was full of mixed emotions, commotions and drinks promotions. Got to the train station at 6pm after work, and after some idiots at the ticket office who took 15 mins to buy a frigging ticket, I missed my train by 10 seconds. The journey then started half an hour later which went from Milton Keynes to Birmingham then to Nottingham, and took 5 hours! A coach journey would have taken just 1 hour. Got to my friend's house at 11pm, said to myself "I need a drink!" My friend presented a bottle of tequila, also, earlier for dinner he made himself some dodgy scrambled eggs, and got a stomach ache, and couldn't drink anymore of the tequila after two shots. 2 hours later, the tequila bottle was empty. I woke up the next morning, in a strange room that I've never seen before (It's my friend's new house in Nottingham), and I remembered drinking tequila.. the word "shit" flashed before my eyes. Ran downstairs "check for vomit stains, check for vomit stains...", couldn't find any, phew! Went back upstairs, found a bucket with um, stuff in it. My friend filled me in on what happened the night before, apparently I was so drunk I couldn't walk, let alone talk. That's the curse of tequila, and it sets an ironic omen for the rest of the weekend. Sat morning, feeling well ill, so ate some rather hot chilli noodles to wake me up, the chilli fought with the alcohol for about 15 minutes, which made my head spin, but I was more awake afterwards, bumped into 2 people in my old Uni, which was great it made me feel like I have loads of friends. Met up with another friend, we went to the pub, testing the theory "booze is the best hangover cure". The first pint at the pub was painful, but after that I felt sooooo great, arranged to meet another friend about 8 o'clock. There is a very nice art film cinema called Broadway in Nottingham, and I was recommended to watch "Possible Worlds" which was showing that day, so I went to Broadway, and found that I was 30 minutes too late. :-( So the drinking carried on til about 10:30pm, we planned to go to "Rock City" the rock club in Nottingham, then, the news broke to me. TERRORVISION one of my absolute favourite bands were playing their final tour before splitting up in Rock City that night, I got there just as they finished :-( When I got inside, they were still removing the set from the stage, it was a sight unbearable to watch, and so I spent the night drinking like a loon to drown my sorrows. I took revenge tho at the lucky bar stewards who saw the gig, cos, the downstairs of Rock City there is the "Classic rock" room, I went in there, and asked the DJ to play Bon Jovi living on a prayer, and then legged it back upstairs. HA HA HA HA Revenge is sweet. So yes, that night carried on til 4am. Woke up the next morning feeling like poo, did the ritual of eating chilli noodles again, and once again felt great afterwards. Then, after roaming the city a bit, it was time to travel to Leicester to meet Miss Madeleine McNeil. ... to be continued Tequilas and Red Bull (eek) Ken P.S.: I have drunk whisky and red bull before, it's not really as good as vodka and red bull, esp with whisky being one of my least favourite spirits. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: oh happy day!
by Hannah Brown 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! I have just been invited back onto sinister and it feels fab. Once again i can waste many a precious hour writing belle and sebastian related rubbish. Of late i have been pondering on the word "sinister", it's a a rather ambiguous word, don't you think? I can understand someone, something or an action being sinister but what is it like to feel sinister? Is it like when things happen to you that you don't understand, like a milk bottle flying across the room and spilling out green slime, or is it like that cheeky feeling you get when you want to do something evil to someone? Answers on a postcard..............No, really i'd like to know what you think. In response to Big Stu's post about things that people don't reaaly need and that could easily drift away unnoticed, well, i say it's because of all these MOR things that the good stuff shines through, and if everything was fabtastic, there would still be stuff that wasn't quite as great, that's not a jibe at you i just felt like talking some good honest rubbish for my first post back. hannah +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Sad sickness - being differents fine but you go all the way to being weird
by Danny Farrell 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

Hello lovelies, Does everyone seem to be really sad and lonenly recently or is it just me? It kinda scares me one minute everyone was happy and then suddenly they just all got sad and lonely.I think theres some sort of sad virus going around or as Dimitra said maybe it's just the weather making people want love more tangible, i know it makes me feel that way. All my nice non-sinister friends are all sad and my bestest friend in the whole world is really dejected because he has women trouble and i can't help him because i'm really sad too and have women trouble so i just hand him my big bottle of vodka and then put on Belle and Sebastian or the smiths and that makes it okay for a little while until bedtime, where i just lie and think about the futility of it all and i can't sleep unless i play really soothing music. Im sad partly because im lonely but a big part is because i've realised that people refuse to accept me for who i am, i think my friends are too normal, maybe, but that sounds really horrible.I had a massive argument with my friend-girl because i wear my emotions on my sleeve and i tried to explain to her that i didn't know how to live differently and i didn't want to but she couldn't accept that someone would want to be totally honest in showing their emotions. Allegedly living according to your heart rather than your head makes you weak and she believes that everyone should just hide all their feelings,i can't understand that at all. I sometimes think it might be grate to be normal and shallow because then i could be content and could get all excited about special offers on lager at the local superstore and about a new pub opening or even just a party and i would never be sad or lonely because i wouldn't even know what those feelings were. When im sad i sometimes think that creativity, intelligence and individuality are curses and i know that's wrong but normal people always seem to be so happy,it's frightening. Im sorry i wasn't funny, i think thats two in a row now. :) Hot Choccy and Kuhluas, Danny xxxxx _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Sophisticated Boom Boom
by Pauline L. Shivers 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

Oh this is so frustrating!! I keep telling Latti to get out of her room and drive around in my car but she says that autumn's got to her and she was so low etc etc! when will girls know? I know you've missed me, haven't you? You had no other choise anyway. So how are you all my sinister twee bunnies? all hopping and shagging around? because you know what they're saying about bunnies and rubbits don't you? they shag more than any other animal on the planet!! and yes twee might be the hippy of our years, but were hippies shagging a lot or they were just fat words and no action? I tend to believe the latter; and anyway they must have been really stoned to shag! I don't want to comment on the things happening in the world lately... I think that if I do I'll most probably get lynched like a medieval witch or something! No, I don't think the lot of you would share my points of view; but it's demo(n)cracy isn't it? and we're all allowed to say our opinion out loud, right? Still, I think I should keep my opinions to myself because I'm sure that demo(n)cracy works only for the small "majority"! and I'm saying *small* because it is small after all, if you see the election percentages etc! Ok enough with politics! I'll give you my latest now! nothing as destructive or loud as the WTC bombing though! I've met someone! oh yes! and is he cute? he's the cutest! blue/grey eyes, pale skin, black hair, tall and thin and his taste in clothes and music? impecable! Actually I knew him before, I knew him for more than ten years but even though he was the only bloke i fell in love with at the very first sight, something was always going wrong and we couldn't get together! but this all's changed now! so I spent 4 days in a palazzio in Venice with him doing that thing that hippies were too fucked up to do! oops! I said the *F* word!! sorry, but you know! and is he a good lover? he's the best! gifted and imaginative! the ultimate combination! So, I'm off to London this weekend as that's where his house is to see him and well, you know! he comes from an aristocratic family of course and he looks like a russian prince! or a celtic prince! a prince nonetheless... Aunt Myrtles approves of my affair, can you believe that? this is a total anti-aphrodisiac for me and my prince, mind! We have to think about ways to make big aunt Turtles dislike him! Oh I love doing the *F* thing! No you naughty creatures, I didn't mean that! I meant the *F* as in Forbidden! I love it when aunt Turtles is shocked at my behaviour! Oh the things we invent us poor aristocrats to kill some time and entertain ourselves! But I won't start feeling pitty for myself now! that's a working class privilege unfortunately! I was telling my little cousin Violette about him and she kept blushing and blushing! you see I was a bit over graphic for my poor Violette's tender demure ears! but I'm sure she enjoyed it nevertheless. Cheeky Violette! You know after every sinister post I send I print it and give it to Violette and Latti to read it. Latti's always cool about it saying "go girl, go!" or something like that, but Violette is pouting and complains a bit; then she smiles and says that i'll turn our whole family into a soap opera one of these days! I might as well. So what other exciting stuff have been happening in my life besides lovers, bombs and trips to Italy? Oh yes!! Clothes!! Have you seen the new Anne Demeulemester designs?? they're divine! I'm not into this 80s fashion revival myself, I think it's a bit loud and bad taste to say the least, but I do like the laces and the leather and the horse-riding style that seems to be the strongest trend for winter! oh and cord's in fashion this year! so you won't be the only ones in those brown old pairs of cords! Of course the only cord I'll be wearing is this Vivian Westwood long cord plaid skirt! Oh shopping!!! talking about it I've just remembered! I need to buy some nice underwear! And champagne! so before I go to London I'm setting off to Paris for a couple of days with Latti and Violette for shopping! have you ever had pink champagne? it's the nectar of the gods! it is! and unlike aunt Myrtles' approval a great aphrodisiac! But what should I wear for my trip to London? I mean, I'm always having trouble figuring out what to wear when I'm flying somewhere! I think my nice horse-riding black velvet jacket, a white shirt with a tie and my vivien westwood cord skirt will do! How is the weather in London by the way? cold I reckon! and underwear? underwear must always come to a contrast with your outwear so I'll wear lace in champagne colour; a silk corset and stockings! Yes! OK I must go now and pack! Take care and be glamorous! and if you can't, well, don't slap yourself, after all, style is inherited! Pauline L. Shivers that makes sinister all quivers she's that aristocratic slag who lives and reigns in Prague PS: I would like to send my greetings and my apologies to my dearest Frederic Meysonnet, marquis de Buisante, as I haven't replied to his last email. I'm truly sorry Frederic mon ch�r but I've been so very very busy! PS(2): there have been a couple over-sentimental posts to the list lately! do you know what they say? when you whisper people pay more attention to what you're saying? it's the same with sentimentalism! take it easy dears! we do like you even without these tear-soaked stories you know! you're making no point even if you have one by being so... anyway, I won't say it! __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Listen to your Yahoo! Mail messages from any phone. http://phone.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Vacuuming completely nude in paradise
by Gardiner, Stuart 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

I saw a fox at the end of our garden the other day. It wasn't snowing though. My faith in humanity has been partly restored. Last week when I was in our local supermarket, the girl in front of me in the queue at the tills was having trouble paying - her debit card wouldn't swipe through properly. She said it was because her dog had chewed it a bit when it arrived through the post. So the girl behind the till had to type the card number into the machine instead, but she couldn't work out how to do it. Just when she was about to call the supervisor over for help, the middle-aged woman behind me in the queue said "It's OK, put it on my card, I'll pay". They'd never met each other before, she was just being really kind. I had a strange dream last night. It had a girl and a horse in it. She might have been called Judy. I've decided that "The Boy Done Wrong Again" is currently my least favourite B&S song. Not because it's bad; it's just inconsequential. At least other less-popular songs like Beyond The Sunrise and Electronic Renaissance provoke some sort of reaction in people, good or bad. There are too many things in this world which are just pointless. If they went away, life wouldn't get better, and it wouldn't get worse; noone would notice. Things which, if they didn't already exist, noone would bother inventing. Things like mime artists; hovercraft; car bumper stickers; neck-ties; paper doilies; Dr Pepper; the music of the Bluetones; the careers of Lionel Blair and Les Dennis; steak and kidney pie; synchronised swimming and rythmic gymnastics; Family Fortunes; and the countries of Paraguay, Chad and Laos. If you were told you could never eat another courgette in your life, would you care? A fortnight ago I went to Alton Towers, where there are lots of great rollercoaster rides. Props to David Moore (CUK) for getting the word "pulchritudinous" into his post. I think I'm going to have to start making up long words and putting them in my posts to make me sound like an intellectual. That would be mesoenterlogicinal. I saw some other people yesterday. Big Stu +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: i drive a dodge neon...cuz it's good for my...voice
by Kirsten Kenyon 01 Oct '01

01 Oct '01

fall has...fallen. it's always seemed to me that fall 'springs' much more than spring does. spring takes its sweet time in arriving. summer floats by, and then you wake up one morning to find frost on the ground and an angry mob of scary geese hissing at each other and doing their dirty business all over your backyard. i suppose i should be used to surprises by now. but autumn really got me this year. i have an old beer crate full of oil paints and mix-tapes and dozens of jars of paper cement from the days when i used to find great enjoyment in gluing objects to one another. i found a cd in the bottom of the crate and decided to give it a listen. it was music by some boys i used to know. some boys who used to be a band. a pretty decent one, too. i used to date one of them, for a short time. i remember him coming over and strumming my guitar while i cleaned my room, or writing silly magnetic poems on my refrigerator while i sat at the table doing crossword puzzles. we watched a lot of movies and we drank a lot of wine. i don't think we did much else. i started thinking about him, and about my old friends who used to come over last winter, all bundled up in their ugly coats and scarves and thick woolen mittens. i thought of emily, who would show up with wine and paint markers, and how we would spread paper all over the living room floor and scrawl fantastically long poems that stretched from the fireplace to the sofa. we had great plans, to go to marrakesh, to drink mimosas every morning in the student union, and to open a record shop called "the bum and the fish." and i thought of kevin, who would cook fabulous vegetarian dinners in my shabby little kitchen, and who once gave me a lovely book about mice as a christmas gift. emily and kevin fell in love, and i don't see them anymore. i don't have any pictures of them. i do have three photographs from a night at the teahouse when i initiated a 'public restroom photography contest.' we each got to take one photo. emily threw a roll of toilet paper and caught it flying into the wall. keving shot the split part of the seat in the front, which we had all previously decided was by far the filthiest part of any toilet anywhere. i just stuck the camera into the bowl with one hand and pressed the button. i was declared the winner, but then all of the photos are crap, so that's not saying much. i thought about all of these things and then i went out for coffee, and found myself wishing that i still lived in that overpriced flat in the old stucco house with the big dead pine tree grown flat against it. i missed the noisy poker-playing boys who lived upstairs and who used to go sledding on their sofa cushions. i missed waking up with strange bruises obtained by drunkenly attempting to skateboard in my dining room. and, strangely enough, i rather missed living on canned corn and saltine crackers. i don't know what any of this has to do with anything. i guess i just wish it could be last winter again, and i could be huddled on the sofa, skipping class and watching the news because it was fun to giggle at the reporters praising a pretty lady named edith who was celebrating her 102nd birthday, and at the "photo of the day," which was usually a snapshot some knob had taken of his dog wearing sunglasses. i have no idea where i'll be a year from now, but i only hope i won't be moping about wishing it was...erm...now, i guess. that sounded silly. but i remember last year, and i remember thinking "one year from now, things will be grand." i told that to emily once, and she pointed out that "grand" was "phony." before kevin, i think that emily was in love with holden caufield. before emily, kevin was in love with a different girl. i love canned corn and black coffee and white tea and the big lebowski and all of you, and when i was in kindergarten i once confessed my undying love to a little blonde boy named matthew, but it wasn't until years later that i was able to shamefully admit to myself that i only loved him because i thought he might grow up to look like the brave ascot-wearing boy from scooby-doo, who just might be the real love of my life. kirsten Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. 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