January 2002 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Lord of the Corduroy-Fellowship of the Flares
by Corduroy Boy 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

(Dispite the light-hearted title this post is too long so skip now to save time) Hello, you sinister people. This morning I succeeded in slaughtering my academic future by (inevitably) failing my physics paper. It felt like the worst I have ever done in an exam and my gibbers of hysteria and panic were most definitely audible in the exam room. But I cannot be persecuted, because be there a rule banning mobee phones and cheat notes, no restricting measures have been taken against gibbering. My friends, you are free to gibber. [As my glazed eyes showed no conscious thought, the sound of my black fountain pen nib scratching the paper was louder than any other. Those behind me look up, knowing from the motions of my arm (though they could not see what I wrote) that my paper is being filled with a bizarre mixture of scribble and cryptic symbols. The finishing bell rattles, and the other candidates file out in a quiet and controlled manner. One would think they would have found my situation and the subsequent facial expressions comical, but their expressions are humourless, showing emotions of pity and concern above all else. As they walk to the back of the hall to awkwardly collect their coats, bags, umbrellas and thoughts, my solitary figure can be seen to walk bouncily to the front to converse with the invigilator (with whom I am on friendly terms through a shared enjoyment of rock climbing). He smiles as I clutch my paper, look round as if searching, and relay to him my lucky escape from an unclassified grade... "That was OK, wasn't it? Shall I let you in on a little secret? I couldn't have answered one of those questions correctly, but luckily as I grew hysterical (and started to gibber, Tom, don't forget the gibbering...) a small Incan monkey god descended to my desk and whispered the answers to me." As the invigilator gives me a quizzical look, he notices the relief of the symbols and scribbling on the inside page of my paper. He looks at me with the same concern as my fellow candidates... "Now all I have to do is find someone who can translate his beautiful language..."] No, unfortunately, that was not real. No Incan monkey god came to my aid, so I will definitely have failed. Moving on. I have acquired (through honest means) a copy of "Careless Talk Costs Lives". It is quite acceptable as music magazines go, and as music magazines go *today* it is quite edifying. However, as you would expect, some* (*replace with much or all as you see fit) of it is self indulgent to the point of being masturbatory. Also, one of my pet hates in pretty much all music media rears it's butt-ugly head... Why oh why, why why why do they hand even ONE of their pages over to some bloody cretin whose only qualification is that they know where the asterisk on the keyboard is? This allows them to speak in solid obscenities right the way through and bypasses the need to make any sort of logical, rational or even intelligent statement about the bands/artists in question. This is not some rant against offensive-ness or people expressing themselves through language, it's the complete lack of any new slant or descriptive opinion on the music. Fair enough, some musicians need a good slating, but no decent and well reasoned abuse is used to the point that-however shite the band- any judgement against them is lost and thus the sharp rocks of literate people are not thrown. NME has the "Angst" page in the back, which to be honest consists of letters sent in by the public, but Swells doesn't inspire intelligent comment so they reap what they sow with that one. However, the boring trying-to-be-offensive material referred to in CTCL is not the opinion of the general public even if a new guy does it every week (I can't remember who writes that page) andso unlike the back page of NME does not even provide the odd chuckle. The most excruciating fact is that I'm sure the guy writing it is probably doing it with tongue in cheek thinking, "boy, this'll really offend and shock people!" Yeah mate, about 25 years ago, GROW UP. You've had your fun, you've made people blush, time to think of another idea, this time one that *no on else has done.* Well, that's what I think anyway, I may well be wide of the mark. Aagh, this has turned into a bit of an epic, hasn't it? Sorry. Sorry. Tom XXXXXXX P.S. Props to ian for his consistency in making me uneasy about life with his posts to archel for reminding me about the poetry parrot I suspected him eaten by ken to the guys whose names elude me but who have been keeping us posted on the radio front Mr Moore and Neil I think and to Kirsten for the last subject line (don't let him eat the flower though, best draw him a box) and for keeping up the required level of sweetness and to vel even tough she hasn't posted in ages and HELLO to all the nice new people that have joined. Sorry. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: where the boys go with boys and the girls with girls
by Kyla Schuller 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

I liked Rachel grapenut's post about the girls in her art class acting all crazy and girly girl-like. Her frustration of the way girls get tracked into certain social expectations and behaviors at such an early age reminds me of my own feelings. It is also interesting to think about ways that girls perform the role of girlness, often understanding this to be different from the way they see themselves. It is significant that rachel's kids talk in high pitched voices and use lots of airheady slang when they're playing with dolls- and that they don't behave this way normally. Somehow, it seems they have a conscious or unconscious understanding that being a girl is a role, it is an identity to be performed, and it is also different from how they themselves carry out their lives. For really, the concepts of female and male do not work. Biological facts such as roughly one in two thousand infants born in the US undergo immediate genital surgery (sometimes unknown to the parents) to make them fit our conception of male and female bodies show us that the idea of gender is even more socially constructed than it may first appear. There simply is no way of being female or being male - they are abstract concepts that we have nonetheless ordered our society around. So really, all gender identities are performed. They are not essentialist facts: there is simply no way to define a woman. Legal systems have tried -- there are some amazing old European laws -- including Denmark's (i think it's denmark) that women with penises longer than 3 inches cannot marry men - that betray a discomfort with the lack of certainty about gender and sexual biology. It's similar too to the idea of gayness. For what is being gay, really? Is it sexual relations with someone of the same sex? This leads to several problems: what exactly are sexual relations, what exactly is the same sex, and that plenty of people who identify as straight nevertheless fool around with same sex lovers from time to time. As for me, am I gay now? I've dated women for years, but now I find myself dating a boy. Am I still a dyke? How do I perform my dykeness while walking hand in hand with a hetero boy? And what about the fact that the girls iv'e dated are in many ways more traditionally masculine than this boy? What about the girl I've dated who wants to undergo gender reassignment surgery to be a boy? How then would we be gay? There are plenty of boys who are lesbians - transgender and transsexual dykes are largely accepted in urban Gen X queer communities. So then, what is gay? Is it performing a divergent sexuality? A breaking down of traditional sexual and gender barriers? Yet it often doesn't feel divergent at all. Many queers, myself included, are guilty of thinking of queerness as somehow cooler than heterosexuality. There are many reasons for this, most especially that the need to affirm ourselves in spite of numerous pressures and disgust from family, peers, society at large - why even comments like "being gay is ok for OTHER people but I would never want to do that" can feel really uncomfortable - create a need to unequivocally equate gayness with goodness. Which accomplishes some extremely necessary work toward self-respect and pride, but also, sometimes gets silly. On Friday night I was at a benefit and got to meet Dorothy Allison, one of my favorite writers. As I approached her she turned and grabbed me at the waist, saying, "oh hi there baby." My heart fell. How could someone I respect so much treat me as a sex object? We had a picture taken - she saying we should press our faces real close, cheek to cheek. We talked a bit, she had her hands on both my hips - I took my Polaroid and was off. So this is transgressive sexuality? Am I supposed to feel differently about this situation because she is a girl and not a boy , and somehow it's cool and crazy and new for women to treat each other this way? Is this really performing a divergent sexuality? Or a very tried one with different players fulfilling its roles? Because really, it doesn't feel that much different than Thursday night, when a car of guys stopped to yell and cat call at me as I crossed the dark parking lot, alone. The trick I think is understanding and accepting that we are always performing various identities and not to find this really nihilistic and depressing. Also, it's not that I'm saying we should stop playing and just "be ourselves" - for it is exactly my point that this is completely impossible to determine. Nothing is static, nothing is given. It's depressing, but also potentially freeing. One of the reasons I so liked eXtreme elvis was the way he consciously plays with identity performance. We're the audience, he's the performer - so really, it makes no difference if he's calmly singing a ballad or shoving a used tampon up his ass while pumping his legs into the air like a tempermental baby having its diaper changed. He performs the role of crazy performance artist, we perform the role of audience, expecting, paying, to be shocked. And he takes it a step further -he sung about fear and went so far as to explicitly bid people not to fear performance artists. He flaunted and exposed his role - he named it for us, he gave us instructions - I perform the role of crazy, you perform the role of audience. It doesn't matter that I'm raising the stakes, it doesn't matter that I'm rubbing my huge filthy naked body all over you - this is my role, that is yours --- that's what it's always about, like it or not. There's no reason to be afraid - you knew this anyway, I'm just here to illustrate it graphically. DILDOS!!! kyla __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE video emails in Yahoo! Mail! http://promo.yahoo.com/videomail/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: sad day
by stacey dahling 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

hello my lovely lovely sinisterenes today is a very sad day for me very much indeed i was planning to write a mega post going into great detail about the whole thing, but realized i cannot until the whole thing is over because it involves (il)legal stuff which would probably not be best telecast to the entire online community, including greek government officials but basically i resign as athenian picnic mummy cause i will not be in greece much longer i'm not sure where i will be come march, or even in two weeks. i may be in the uk i may be in the u.s.a hmmm... anyone interested in more than this cryptic craziness, send me an email or track me down in chat (tho i dunno how much i will be there, considering i will be extremely busy in the next 10 days). i have emailed some of you, and thanks to everyone who i talked to yesterday. thanks to all of you, actually. you are fab. i'm sorry that i won't be reporting back with fun tales of wacky greek adventures. or at all, actually. i doubt i'll be near a pooter much in the near future. big HUGE MWAHS to one and all, ~dahling ps; wow. i think that was my shortest post ever. kev, you should be proud. _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: rock action
by R.Playforth＠sussex.ac.uk 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

more wisdom about Careless Talk.../Everett True from the dirty vicar - very accurate appraisal. i think i'll stay loyal (as far as my loyalty to any music magazine goes) to Uncut, flaws and all. (though i suspect that some of the really good writers from melody maker didn't even end up there, but retired gracefully when they realised that slagging things off for a living made them depressed.) ian wrote: "archel said something interesting but i can't remember what it was." i can't remember either. he then wrote "DILDOS!" but i don't think there was a connection. rachel fruitloop tickled my vanity and spoke wisdom when she said i would show you a good time in brighton. (she also made me swoon and sigh at a great sinister romance. though i am ever more glad that my beloved lives in the same country, town, and now house as me...) half of another great sinister romance also tickled my vanity re. my website, even praising something i'd written myself. so he's welcome in brighton anytime :) speaking of which, james danson hatcher suggested 31st february for the meetup. when i worked out what that meant i was quite offended - just what is wrong with brighton that we can only meet there on a non-existent date? although in a way it would be cool to commandeer the town for sinisterines in a bizarre lapse of space-time and rampage through the amusement arcades in our flares and cardies... though brighton can be quite bizarre anyway. as our flat is on the top floor of our building we have a birds-eye view of the street below, and the things which go on down there would fill a novel (or a post from kirsten at least). there's the old man who keeps a stash of coats and furniture behind some boards on the new building site - sadly busted a few days ago. there were the two teenage girls on the porch steps across the road, drinking cider and self-consciously playing hissy speed folk (at least that's the only way i can describe it) at top volume from their ghetto blaster. the bmx stunt guy risking life and limb by the parking bay at all hours of the day and night, and the skate kids teaching younger skate kids kerb tricks with surprising care and patience. the woman screaming into a mobile phone, the man asleep on the pavement next to her car. i love it all. this is for rebecca: someone *has* invented a backwards dictionary for you - it's called 'descriptionary' and it's by a guy called marc mccutcheon. 2nd edition out now, rrp �15.99. luv archel xxx ****************** Visit www.buzzwords.org.uk for the best new writing on the web. Email submissions to buzzwords(a)bigfoot.com <nb: site undergoing maintenance> +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: A public apology
by Rebecca Wright 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

Oh dear this appears to have back fired on me a little, I'll be more careful not to cause upset so easily in future. I admit I am surprised by how seriously offended some of the folk are, is this really how you see the feminist mind as working? To clarify lions, like most members of the Animalia kingdom, lack the pre-frontal lobes of their human counterparts and are subsequently devoid of the area of the brain responsible for the consciousness of 'self'. Thus to impose notions of good & evil on lions of either sex is both wrong & silly and I am heartily ashamed. Blondes are prudent Essex girls are chaste Craig David fans have legitimate taste and yes it is my time of the month!! To change the subject I just watched 'Withnail and I', I'd taken the title for its phoenetic(*) face-value and it took me a while to adapt but I'm now going around shouting 'SCRUBBERS!!' to anyone who'd care not to be insulted. Jules Markham was Marwood the name of the other guy? (*) Cheers to Will for remembering the word for me. Someone should invent a backwards dictionary so instead of finding a word & learning its meaning you give a vague kind of description as I did "what is long word which means to be spelt as it sounds, think it starts with p?" & boom! well boom second time 'cause the first answer was onomatopaeic. Not much else going on in my life at present. My jasmine plant has been bamboozled by global warming into thinking it's mid-May and has started making flowers. Only two have opened so far and there's already a heady perfume in the air, eight more are on the way and in a couple of days my room'll only be accessible with a gas mask thanks to nature's equivalent to mustard gas. Either it's gonna go outside which'll probably kill it what with it being Winter 'n' all or there'll be some brutal fleur decapitations at 3 in the morning when I can take no more. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: "If you please--draw me a sheep!"
by Kirsten Kenyon 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

ian never made it to work yesterday. his mom managed to stop in for a few moments, sobbing hysterically and chewing on her bony fingers and looking quite like the women who frantically scan lists posted on doors in old war movies. i couldn't bear to look at her, so i slid out back into the alley and sat on a milk crate and smoked my last cigarette. the wind picked up for a moment, bringing to my feet a black and white photograph of two boys looking silly. i studied it for a few seconds. from what i gathered, i was looking at a photograph of two mildly-intoxicated young men who had finally succumbed to the exasperating people who had been trying all night to drag them onto the dance floor at a friend's wedding reception. don't you just hate people who try to make other people dance? i would never do something like that. ken chu wouldn't, either. don't worry. anyway. the photograph was just fantastic, and i started to reach for it when i got to thinking. i thought about how i would feel if some strange girl happened upon a photograph of me looking like an idiot...dancing...and found it to be so terrifically funny that she just had to pick it up and adhere it to the cover of her sketchbook with paper cement. i mean, i would probably never know. but still....just thinking about it...i turned over the photograph with my toe and headed back inside. there was a phone call later, and apparently ian was safe and sound at his grandmother's house. he'd bumped up his car a bit, but that was the extent of it. so...ian is alive and well. but his death's been bothering me since yesterday morning. it was a strange day, anyway. craig, who normally hops about like a fourth-grader at a slumber party, sulkily retreated to a corner table with a latte, a pile of saltine crackers, some honey packets and a big bowl of tzaziki sauce. he sat there for a while, sighing, looking bored and half-heartedly nibbling at his peculiar lunch. i tried to ignore him...when craig starts up with the blasé thing, it's best to keep busy. i must have been giving him a strange look, because he got up quite suddenly and grabbed my arm and said 'smokey.' and we went outside. my next last cigarette. we were standing around talking, and he mentioned how he missed his long hair. i said i couldn't picture him with long hair at all, so he ran out to his car for his portfolio and sure enough...he looked like ricky martin when he was on that soap in the early 90s, and a little bit like fabio only not in a scary way. i was just staring in disbelief and craig was looking a little wistful, and said something else about missing his hair. and then i remembered something i had overheard...about chemotherapy. at the time i'd heard it, i wasn't sure who....well, i know now. i knew. and he knew that i knew, and i think he knew i didn't know what to say, and i knew he didn't expect me to say a thing. knew know knew know. yeah. i think today's his day off. speaking of which, i should have started getting ready for work ten minutes ago. it's not coyness, it's discretion. love kirsten Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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None
by Mark Casarotto 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

Hey up sinister, (and Mr Pettinger, I'm not nicking your moniker for my email address, I've had it for years, it's just I've left work and become unempl*yed. Hence change of email address) How are you all? I wonder if I'm going to be posting more now that I have things like job-hunting to avoid? I expect so - I've only been job-hunting for 5 hours and already the kitchen is spotless (apart from the floor - something else to do later, bonus!). Carsmile Steve's post and wonderful Madeleine's post sort of got together in my mind and set me off ruminating on Sinister ancient and modern. But it wasn't very coherent, so I won't bore you with it. Perhaps I shouldn't bore you with this post at all, as it's really only a practice one to get me back into the swing. If several old friends want to greet my return with a few virtual slaps on the back, that might encourage me to post again :-) XFM, eh? Other London listees will be able to confirm how crap it is, which is a bit ironic considering one particlar post of mine a few years back. I've got it on in the background as I type, and by gosh it's poor. Not quite as poor as the website, where I notice they're making a big thing of the fact you can buy bargain Lighthouse Family CDs! Well, woo. Before I go, props to Kirsten for being so lovely and Mr Gillanders for being so lucky :-) Alla prossima, Mark xxx p.s. now that I'm out of work, I have more time for personal emails. This is a hint. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Belfast Live
by Neil Robertson 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

Yes, the Belfast show is on the radio. No, it's not tonight. It's next Monday, despite what it says in the papers and the BBC website. Sorry about the conflicting information. Their mistake. Nobody could take their mouths off So Solid Crew's knob for long enough to tell us it had been moved. Cheers, Neil +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Ken that mean that I'm getting boring? Chu tell me...
by Rachel fruitloop 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

HELLOOOOOO SINISTER!!!!! Since so many of you kind lovely people out there have said some nice things to me personally, or posted nice things, I thought it was high time that I write one of my MEGA-POSTS! The first for 2002! Yay! *****CEREAL KILLERS***** Assman Walton wrote: "Ms Fruitloop's been quite quiet of late - I suppose she's got the boy Apps to deal with, but still, one of her huge recollective-post efforts wouldn't go amiss at chilly times as these." this post is especially for you, Stud Muffin. And also for Chris Pez who wrote: "whoever said that rachel frootloop hadn't posted a huge summary post for ages was right, she must have accumulated enough now. rachel, post again, i need to increase my 'i've been mentioned in a frootloop post' score. its at 4 at the moment and i'm sure others have more. ben apps must be in double figures by now." CHRIS PEZ, You are grate!!! hmmm... I dunno that I have mentioned Benny all too much before my last couple of posts. It's hard to remember! All I know is that I *talk* about him ALL THE TIME! But in any case, there's 2 mentions for you right there, just from quoting other people's posts! And there are more mentions of sweet Apps to come! Rachel Grapenut wrote: "I am so very happy for Rachel Fruitloop and Ben. Isn't everyone, though? Please feel free to be as candy-coated as you want to, rachel, it cheers me up." Thank you Rachel! Although I am not sure everyone is happy about this. Unfortunately, since my Reporting Back, Laura Llew has deemed me a traitor for being lured to "the dark side" and has threatened to kick my arse if ever I refer to Ben as "Sweetie" in public. Fortunately, Miss Llew can save her plane fare because that won't EVER happen. (I call him "Bunny" not "Sweetie.") Archel Toast, I hope your move went smoothly. I also hope I provided enough commentary on my version of the Sinister transatlantic shenanigans! *****WELCOME!!!***** I would like to say welcome to Becky Wright. And welcome back to Bre. And welcome to Toy Stephen, I am honored to be mentioned in your first post, especially in the same sentence as the Dirty Vicar! And welcome to Andrew Barton--your story of discovering B&S was lovely! AND welcome to Eliza Grae... I'll take cake over death any day! *****BIRTHDAYS!!!***** Happy belated birthday to Matt Henderson! Sorry about your Clash record getting broken! Happy Belated Birthday also to our Bond Girl, Ola. Happy Belated Birthday to Belle the year old dog, and also a Happy Belated Birthday to Kara Jean! *****U-B ILLIN'***** I hope that you are feeling better now, JenOwl. Also Ken, Pamela and Kirsten, I hope that you are well now, too. *****GENDER***** Astrid announced that she is in fact a girl. Stine also announced that she is in fact of the female gender. *****ASTRID***** I like Astrid's posts because she would have been my best friend if I were ten years younger and lived in her town. You can tell she's something special just in the way that she expresses herself. And I remember the first time I realized that I had gained weight and I had previously been "the girl who can eat anything" and I think I was around 18 or so... Astrid makes me feel like I am really young again, and in the best possible way. Astrid said that she is no longer smitten with a 13 year old boy. Also, she gets "super cool" points for mentioning Pippi Longstocking whilst being Swedish. *****STACEY DAHLING***** Stacey Dahling wrote: "We actually thought we had lost Coral and the sheep - how this is possible I do not know - when we saw a little sheep head pop out from behind a kiosk and look in our direction. I almost peed my pants." I went to the photo link to see this sheep myself and it looked like a very good time! I think that is something that my friends and I would definitely do. And actually, it reminded me of a story in Marilyn Manson's autobiography about he and his girlfriend going around his hometown in Florida around Christmastime and replacing the baby Jesuses in people's nativity scenes with hams. and now I am using the Jedi mind trick to make you all forget that I just mentioned Marilyn Manson's autobiography! eeek! Stacey Dahling also wrote about a club called Kitcherella: "Then the lights dimmed and three screens came down from the ceiling and the opening of Dynasty was projected. Lordy. Everyone hooted and screamed in glee." No fair! I wanna go to this club!! Why can't I hang out in Greece with you guys!? *****NEW YEARS***** Needless to say, I was highly amused by Stacey Dahling's ghetto holiday in Greece with miss Velocity Girl. I also liked the idea of Stacey sitting in her black knickers and racy black bra with black and white striped socks and Florence Henderson hair on New Year's Eve. I tried to picture what I was doing while she wrote that post. Stacey Dahling also wrote: "I took note of everyone�s chosen way to herald in the new year as if they were deciding how they wanted to die. Wow, Coral wanted to go out in a strip club. Seemed apt. Me, I just wanted to make sure I wasn�t alone. Many others decided to spend it in bed." Me, I suppose I want to die with all of my closest friends. Completely drunk and in the beautiful arms of Ben Apps. *sigh* Will Salt wrote: "Tonight I am going to go out, and tomorrow I am going to rest. The day after, I want to go out and buy a notebook, so I can start writing things down. If I start writing things down, I will get better at putting things into words. If I start putting things into words, I might be able to explain things a little better. If I can do that, I will be able to do anything. Maybe even have plaited hair in public a bit more often." Yes, Will, you should have plaited hair in public more often! And writing is grate. I don't write in my journal very often. Just when exciting things happen or if I'm in distress. I was looking over what I wrote last year and I can see how much my life has improved and how many of my goals I've met and that makes me happy. Maybe it will make you happy, too. Madeliene had the best year ever and has resolved to get pissed and eat toast this year. Becky Wright's new years resoulution is to learn more constellations by sight: "I also look up at the night sky a lot nowadays but that's just to find the seven sisters which is the only constellation I can recognise." Becky, I think that is the most romantic constellation ever. I like the name "seven sisters" because it makes me think of being in London and it makes me think of the song "By The Sea" by Suede. Andy Williams wrote: "I got a dart board, and it is now my new years resolution to score 180 in open play, hopefully against Matt Powell. My other resolutions are to have a song I write played on the radio, continue to stop smoking and write two books (one fiction, one non-fiction)." Wow, you are ambitious Andrew! I wish you luck! (darts is a hard game!) Andrew also transcribed this from Stuart Murdoch: "I resolve to become immortal. And then die." Big Stu wrote: "I made two New Year's Resolutions. The first was to do 50 sit-ups every day to get rid of the effects of the Christmas alcohol, which has a tendency to turn your six-pack into a keg. This resolution lasted, erm, about 0 minutes,since I haven't done a single sit-up yet. The second resolution was to travel to Guatemala, Belize and Honduras in May / June. Which should be a bit easier to stick to." I'd rather travel than excercise any day. Unfortunately, I made the resolution to lose weight, too. How cliche, eh? Rich.Gil. wrote: "I don't remember so much more. alasdair trying to make me dance. kirsten trying to make me dance. ken trying to make me dance. me not dancing. at twelve o'clock. I KISSED THEM ALL. I don't think I missed anyone out. if I did, I apologise. or. you were too quick." Awww, what a lovable huggable snuggable cuddleable glow worm you are, Rich! Now Ken can't complain about not getting kissed! Cola Cube Cay wrote: "And there my dears lies the crux of my New Year's Resolution. To be a happier Miss Cola-Cube. I may fall down at times, but I'll keep dancing." That's a good resolution Cay! I think that we all should dance more this year. It will cure what ails anyone (except if your problem is that you're missing legs; even then you can roll around on the dance floor. Either ON the floor itself or in a wheelchair on the dance floor--your choice!) *****IAN***** Ian posted a story which in it's bizarre darkness, I found it to be brilliant. It reminded me of a dream I had on Tuesday night that the sky was full of teeny-tiny 6 week old orange baby kittens in parachutes. Also my dream from Wednesday night that an A-Bomb was dropped. I'm not really questioning why I dreamed these things, but why I *remembered* that I dreamed these things. And then Ian wrote a grate story about Saint Peter and the heavenly gates, prefaced by this: "zac foley, bass player with emf, died yesterday. the cause of his death has not been released, and it seems to have been more-or-less ignored by the News. i'm afraid this is another obituary. the man deserves one for oh-so-many reasons" I hadn't heard of his death at all, just what Ian posted. My friend Vicky LOVED emf. Oddly enough, so did my mother. They are saddened by his passing. But the smarmy follow-up tale of Saint Peter coming round to look at porn websites and running off to find the perfect Isobel Campbell was really entertaining, and I could hardly wait for the next installment! And then Saint Peter himself posted to this blessed list and I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair! And your suggestion that Saint Peter disguise himself as a Hello Kitty pencil case impressed me. That is, I WOULD be impressed if he were trying to "woo" me! The lyrics to "the Armageddon" that Ian posted were most clever. It hit on a lot of my beliefs about the war. Well done, Ian! *****DVD/VCD***** So Neil Robertson revealed that there is a B&S VCD in the works and added: "There are other TV things you haven't mentioned, but I'm not going to mention them because if we don't use them I'll end up getting chinned about it." Oh no! Now we're all going to wonder what *could have* been on it! Why why why must you torure us like this, Neil!!! Lawrence Mikkelsen wrote: "A few days ago I got a copy of Suede's "Lost in TV" DVD. It's great, for a number of reasons." Ohhhh, another mention of Suede in this post. My old threads are showing! I am excited about this dvd because I used to live and breathe and stalk Suede. I am wondering if they used any live footage from their tour of America in 1997 that I shot with Simon the drummer's video camera. That would be pretty cool. But I haven't seen the dvd yet! :( Is there much live footage, Lawrence? *****SINISTER MINCE MEET***** Melmoz should wrangle up whoever she can for a Sinister meetup in the Dallas area... from what I remember in my Suede stalking days there was quite an anglophile crowd out that way and I wonder if it's still like that. Crap! I mentioned Suede again! Sorry! Archel Toast wrote: "yesterday i foisted the idea of a brighton meet-up on the folks at #sinister, promising sex (well, SSX snowboarding on the playstation 2),drugs (well, alcohol), and rock and roll (well, DDR). what i'll do now is keep mentioning it here until you all think it's as inevitable as death and taxes and can't remember a time when you weren't going to come to brighton on <actually i haven't picked a date yet>." I think you all should meet up whenever Archel says because she's lovely and she will show you a good time!!!! Joe "Rachel Pancake" Vester wrote: "I also wondered if the sinister world would like to take part in a sunflower growing competition." I'm up for it, that sounds like a good idea. But of course my plants usually die. But maybe this won't end in disaster! :) Danny my little cutie pie Farrell wrote: "i met the adorable kirsten marie kenyon who it seemed was just as much the fun queen in the flesh as she is on our very own wee sinister,although this was only from five minutes as the poor wee soul was shattered from travelling et al. she gave me saltine crackers from someone,not someone random,someone in particular.my baker.bakers usually make bread not crackers,this baker is special." Awwwwwww! I wanna meet Kirsten! I am happy that she got to meet so many of you kids in her travels. And I am glad you got your special crackers, cutie pie! Madeleine wrote: "Laura, I hope you realise this means I am forced to kidnap you, drive you to the Mexican border and marry you. Neither of us have any choice in the matter, I'm afraid." Where should we send the wedding pressies!? *****MAKING IT***** Rob Lorenson made Lame-o trade stickers and I think I may want to get my hands on some! He said: "Note: Lame-o does not necessarily mean crappy. Well, maybe a little bit. OK, most of the time, lame-o means crappy. But, maybe not in this case." Archel Toast wrote: "i begin to think that if you're passionate about music, the last thing you should do is write about it, because you will inevitably disappear up your own arse before you can say 'i hate starsailor, me'." I think it might be that way in any creative field. I'm finding that if I get too comfortable in any job, that's sort of the way my designing goes, too! Lord knows I haven't painted anything decent in a couple of years, but I can design a nifty magazine ad for shampoo! sheesh! *****REALITY CHECK***** Rachel Sunnyside-up wrote: "Accidentally sitting on the same ferry as a band is good too. Watching people, who write the songs that have sort of become my own, do normal things, made me happy. At the same time it could have made me a little sad. Feeling guilty that was too much of an intrusion, knowing that songs don't really belong to me. A reality check." But don't forget Rachel, Stuart said "every song I ever wrote was written for you..." and as long as they make their albums available to us for purchasing, I firmly believe he's singing to every single one of us! What a happy thought! Amy "Rachel Applejacks" wrote about her brother Dan who is autistic: "he's never had a friend. never been kissed." and it sounds to me, Amy, that he has a friend in you. That is something special. Jules Markham wrote: "I know I should be helpful and honest, but I feel like a freakshow. Just laid open and bare to be picked over by people who mean well but curiosity makes them rude. Still, I encourage the questions, more open-mindedness, and please dont burn me." My mother went through that for a long time when she first began telling her friends and family that she is Wiccan, but after a while her closest circle accepted it as if she were always a witch and the rest of the population usually don't need to know that she's a witch and so she started feeling less like a freakshow and more at peace with her own traditions and ceremonies. I hope that people don't give you too much trouble about your beliefs. Gordon wrote: "I find it magnificent to be upset and for life to take one by surprise... " That's inspiring. I never look at things that way. I like to feel that everything is under control and even. But maybe life WOULD be more magnificent with more upsets and surprises. That idea scares me, though. Kieran Devaney wrote: "at which point does experience lose its lustre twixt mind and paper, between keyboard and computer screen? will anything i tell you register in the way i want it? " That's a good question. I find it hard to write things down on paper now. Even when I want to write poetry, I find it easier to compose on a computer screen and the only time I really write things on paper is when I write retarded things to Ben. And beyond that, so much about conveying an idea is in the mind of the reader, not so much in what you write. It helps if you are a descriptive writer, but so much of what you describe could be perceived in such a different manner. Besides that, it's hard to write about feelings and why an incident strikes you the way that it does. Who will ever get inside every fold of your brain tissue? Will you ever really know all of the inner workings of your own mind? *****LOVIN'***** Danny Farrell wrote: "i have never known anyone to be quite like her and she is unique in ways that can bring me to tears.so i'm scared in case there is a repeat performance of my whole life." That's part of the risk you take in loving, I think. I bet we are all scared that we will be hurt in the same ways that we were once hurt before. Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and go for it. Kara Jean wrote: "I like the Rachel Fruitloop and Ben story because it reminds me of Peter and I. It will be our one year anniversary very soon. Throughout this year I have missed him alot, bawled like a baby when we've had to part, sometimes bawled just because I miss him so much, but I remind myself that he loves me and it's better. So Rachel, March, or whichever month you have to wait for, does come even when it seems it won't." I never would have thought in a million years that I would be involved in something that could possibly rival the "Peter & Kara" love story. Congratulations on your year anniversary! That is very sweet! I hope you're right about March coming even when it seems that it won't. Elise J. Spry wrote: "So those of you who know me as somewhat of a wanton vibrator-happy, party girl sex goddess will be either pleased or disappointed to hear that I've officially Settled Down. The purple buzzy thing has been put away in my bottom drawer (NOT the bottom of my drawers), and James G and I have set up house." Whoo-hoo Lisey and Jimmy G! I am SO HAPPY for you! (where's my picture? And thanks for the pressie--I LOVE IT!) Ben Apps wrote: "I think she's waiting till I'm outta here to tell you all what a dumb, lame slacker I am. " You guys, now that he's really gone, I have to tell you what a dumb, lame slacker Ben Apps is. He is so dumb that he gets all of my jokes and he's so lame that he wants me to be his girl and such a slacker that he came all the way to California to be with me! Sooner or later we will melt together and draw rings around the world... Ken Chu wrote: "I got out a copy of Street Fighter II the other day just to check again - and yes, Ken and Ryu still say "Adore Ken" when they shoot out fireballs.. maybe I just love myself too much. Can you blame me though?" No, I can't blame you Ken. I think when Laura Llew comes over here to kick my arse (which I'm sure she's about to do if she's read this post!), we're going to be yelling "Adore Ken" as we shoot fireballs at eachother! Pamela wrote: "Lovebites: good or bad? Discuss...." hmmm. bad. they're ugly purple marks. but good. I *so* love to have my neck nibbled! *****INTERNATIONAL BOWLING***** Carsmile Steve wrote: "KEN is the london bowling champion, despite having been run a close second by BEN apps, who actually took the first game by a whisker. " yeah, the modest Ken, you sure took long enough to declare yourself champion! Thanks for clarifying that, Carsmile! Robin Stout wrote: "The Kidderminster Sinister Bowling Extravaganza was a cracking success. Actually, it was only me who went. And I didn't go bowling; I went to a pub and ate a pie." I think you should get a prize just for being so hilarious! Jenn PB wrote: "encoded message: SGSYOUARETHEBEST! and also a pleasant hello to Ms. Edna Welthorpe. I think I owe you a drink." I am happy to hear that you all had so much fun! And whenever I read about Mrs. Edna Welthorpe it makes me 'Prick Up My Ears'! *****A FFAIR***** Robster wrote: "Anyway, if you live in America and you've been to/in a parade/county fair/monster truck rally - email me and tell me about it so I can have some vicarious experiences to match the images. Mmmm..." It's not so great to be in a parade actually. I used to be in marching band in high school (she banged the drums!) and it was usually a living hell because of the outfits-- my high school mascot was the Highlander and so the drumline wore kilts and I usually had to march in the competition portion of the parade which entailed changing my costume out on the street into the polyester trouser outfit and big furry hat and it was always *hot* and awkward and I HATED it and little kids would throw stuff at us and try to hit our drums and during the competition portion, you couldn't break formation so if a pile of horse shit was in your way, you had to just step in it! Ecchhh! Not to mention the blisters and heat stroke! *****SASSY LASSIES***** Dirty Vicar wrote: "I've been listening to Kate Bush's first album "The Kick Inside" a lot lately. It's a big bag of fun. We always do expressive dances to the opening bars of the first track, which shows how artistic we are. Does anyone know what other Kate Bush albums are worth listening to?" OOOH, I LOVE KATE BUSH! I can just imagine the dances you must do! "The Kick Inside" is my favorite, I used to think that she was my mom on the cover of that album, because my mom looked very much like that in 1977. I can play an acoustic version of "Moving", but not very well. Other grate Kate Bush albums are 'The Dreaming' and 'Hounds of Love'... Go get them NOW!! Alyson wrote: "by the way, i've finished the quiz, and my music muse is... fiona apple?" Ok, I have to admit... I like her. I have the album 'When The Pawn' and I like listening to it during spring rainstorms. It just *happened* I couldn't help it! *****POETRY & PURRING***** Pamela wrote of needing a name for her stray cat... I love the name Agent Cooper for a cat because I also have a *wee* obsession with Twin Peaks. In fact, my brother Tony and his wife Tiffany have a cat named Diane after Agent Cooper's "Secretary" tape recorder he's always speaking memos into! So your stray could have his counterpart all the way here in Canoga Park, CA! Awwww, how cute! I hope your kitty is ok! Johnny Shred then enlightened us with a T.S. Eliot poem about cat's names which was grate! Archel posted a very timely poem by Raymond Carver... about fear. *****STUART'S CAR***** Michelle Ruiz wrote: "I also think Struan has NASCAR aspirations with his driving gloves. I'd like to see that racing car. It'd probably be painted plaid with sponsorship from Fruit of the Loom t-shirts." Yeah, but I'd love to see it with *Fruit of the Loop* sponsorship! ;) Ken Chu wrote: "Stuart Murdoch's car: so is he a boy racer then? Does he have twin exhaust pipes (with a hole drilled in for extra noise) and big fuckoff spoilers and air vents on the bonnet cover and a "go-faster" strip and under chassis neon lighting and a big KENWOOD sticker at the back window? Does he pump out "I love my car" through his KENWOOD speakers? or does he have a special DRUM n BASS version for his car?" KEN!!!!! I was lauging already when I got to the part about "fuckoff spoilers" and then you just had to go even further by making me picture the window sticker and the drum n bass version of "I Love My Car"! Damn! My stomach is going to burst!!! *****!VIVA RACHELS!***** The Mixtape battle continues! The last I heard, the tape was in the hands of Caleb Ben AKA RAW, and where has Mr. Caleb Ben been lately anyway? I miss him! The tape is about to make it's way overseas next! James the Dancin'Hatchback wrote: "If you've read this FAr you're clearly a raving fruitcake." I would like to say that if you've read this FAR you're clearly a raving fruitloop! and now for the moment you've all been waiting for: *****FAVORITE QUOTES***** "But these kids are not even back woods. They give being a redneck a bad name." -- Mr. Willitron300 "It is hard to write e-mails whilst a horse is giving you the "come any closer and I'll jump over the fence and trample all over you alright? Punk." look, especially without a computer."--Kenneth PY Chu "I don't mind when friends smoke but when my car takes up the habit it gets personal"--Laura Llew "I don't have any fucking sins, I'm an angel"--Saint Peter of Heaven "well, only 363 more days to mess up..."--Archel Toast Take care everybody, and love to you all! love, Rachel fruitloop __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE video emails in Yahoo! Mail! http://promo.yahoo.com/videomail/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The ramblings of a new girl
by Eliza Grae 14 Jan '02

14 Jan '02

Hello to everyone, This is my first. Firsts can always be a little frightening. Nervous? Yes. No. Maybe. Perhaps. Who knows? What shall I speak of? Since this is my first, I think I will just ramble. I doubt you mind, and if you do you can always delete this message. Sorry. I enjoy reading all the posts. Some are extremely wonderful. I won't give any names at the moment, but I become very giddy when a few certain people post and I have to wiggle my toes. I recently bought The Magnetic Fields 69 Love Songs. I finally broke down. I'm such a cheap person. But, I suppose there are times when you just have forget everything and splurge. I'm surprised that I've been able to hold myself back from going vinyl crazy. I would never have any money then. I'd starve to death. "Eat? Who cares. I'm going to go get Dream Academy on vinyl!" So.......yeah. I've been doing some reading lately. Not Much Fun. I'm a girl who wears glasses. It seems to be a favorite among all of you. I'm quite fond of it too. I'm also reading some Truman Capote. Oh, how I wish I had something more to say! Something witty and fun. Perhaps something to tug at your heart strings. But, I don't. Oh, well. You won't hold my lack of interesting topics against me will you? Of course not. I did say you could delete this message. I know you will. "How 'bout them bears?" Now that's truly sad. I'll make a note. For future reference I shall stick to two topics: my health and the weather. "Is it safe?" If you actually made it this far, I'm sure you are ready to go and hang yourself. I don't blame you. I am sorry. I shall try to do better in the future. I may never write again! How sad. But, before I end this terrible excuse for a post, I have one question left to ask. "Cake or Death?" my most sincere apologies, Eliza P.S. I really do like Belle and Sebastian. Honest. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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