January 2002 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: not using all your fingers?
by marc bots 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

then please cross all your vacant fingers with me, for the combined power of all these crossed fingers will surely make b&s play in the netherlands. but i'll be pleased with germany or belgium too, as long as it is within driving distance. is it next week already? i can't wait... love, marc +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Boney-ness of the middle-class canine dinner
by Kenneth P Y Chu 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

Dear sinister, I am feeling much less of being in a "I want to kill someone" mood today. Thank you for those of you who sent me jokes - I must say it worked a treat and my afternoon was (quoting the *gasp* lighthouse family) "lifted". And all the lovely sinister e-mails that were sent. *swoons* I also had a can of Red Bull over lunch time, which also helped. mmm. So, I'm still as tired as I was yesterday, actually quite possibly more tired - it is strange, whenever I get REALLY tired out like I am today my body stops being grumpy and turns instead into a haze of hysteria and I'm finding things funny that I shouldn't. I guess I am so tired I can't think straight so it's a bit like being drunk, no wonder I looked even more attractive in the mirror than usual. Earlier today, just to test the state of consciousness that I'm in, I set myself a challenge - I had to list every single song on each and every one of B&S's CDs, all in the proper track listing order - I tell you, it is bloody difficult - especially when you're tired! I got stuck on the "This is just a blah blah.." CD for about 15 minutes before remembering all the songs on it, and then it was like "aww how can I forget this song it was great!". I may still have got all the song orders wrong - mind, but there's no way that I would find out so I'm just gonna convince myself that I got them all right and thus am G!R!A!T!E! It's a fun game, you should try it too. michelle ruiz wrote: >Does anyone who is relatively young go to 'the sacrament of >reconciliation' as a personal choice? I have stopped going to confessions ever since the day, when I realised that by merely going through repentance I would immediately commit the ultimate sin of murder - by boring the minister to death. "Dear minister, I am feeling much less of being in a "I want to kill someone" mood today, ...... , today I nearly forgot the song order of a belle and sebastian EP..." Sound familar? Oh shit, I just killed 1500 people. Anyone still here? Oops. Sorry. Could I write a requiem for you now that you're dead? Funerals and Red Bulls Ken _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Danish Dates
by Neil Robertson 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

Details of Belle & Sebastian's first Danish performances (not including a game of football with a bunch of Danish Truckers while in our pyjamas in '98) are now up on the band's homepage www.belleandsebastian.co.uk/home People who live "quite" close to Denmark, but not "actually" Denmark might want to wait until next week before rushing in. Please don't write to ask what this means. I'm telling you things as soon (and in some cases sooner) as I'm allowed. Rock on. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: It's a nice night for a sulk...which sucks for you guys
by Matthew Henderson 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

********WARNING!!! THIS POST IS WHINY!!! PLEASE SKIP!!!!************** Oh my dear stars. It's 3 am, which isn't too late I guess, but it feels later. I've been debating whether I should go to class in the morning or not. I've been feeling very disconnected recently. This empty sort of depression has been with me a for a few days now. I don't like it. If I were to be depressed about a girl, it would be different. There would be something there. Either the hope of her noticing me, or the extreme pain of losing her. It would even be better if I were nervous about a test, or upset about a bad grade. Or about a job, or about something. Anything at all. But what keeps me up nights now? What drives me to write to 1500 people this late at night? Nothing. Nothing at all. I read post after post from you lot night after night. Many are humorous and fun, like Ken Chu's strange brand of vulgar wit. Or Laura Llew's...Llewness (Whom, much to her dismay and disgust, will soon find me standing outside her home, with an acoustic guitar, playing "hesitating beauty" with slightly altered lyrics). Then there are those beautiful ones, such as Kirsten's brief glimpse into a strange world I know nothing of. But a goodly amount deals with personal tragedies/triumphs involving finding beautiful moments in things, getting a new job, losing a job and cleaning, and especially pining for a boy/girl, getting the boy/girl, or losing the boy/girl. I have none of this. None of it at all. I have no prospects for a significant other of any kind, I'm not very close to any of my friends, I'm not worried about a job, School is set for the next several years, etc... There is nothing at all interesting in life. Days drift on and on, following each other in this endless parade of mundanity. School, work, home, clean, sleep, school, work, home, clean, etc... I have nothing really to look forward to, nothing to really mull over now, and no end in sight. I really can't stand it. But I can't put my finger on what the problem really is. I don't know what to do. I can't come up with a solution if there isn't really a problem. I stay up late at night, smoking cigarettes in my bed and listening to music, and thinking about nothing. I have nothing to think about, nothing to fight for, nothing cry about, nothing to pine for. I just feel empty. This must be the worst kind of depression. Not even music can pull me out of this. If I were to be dumped, I could listen to some trembling blue stars or something. Loss of a loved one, there's plenty of music for that. But what about utter nothingness? No feelings about anything whatsoever, other than the dread of having go through yet another awful day. Sorry to bother you all with this, I don't like to annoy people. But does anyone else ever feel this way? Or is this just self-loathing wankery? I will say the two bright spots of today. I finally received (after a few months) the Camera Obscura LP. I was amazed at how high quality the vinyl was. So thick, like they really cared. Someone give someone in that band a good pat on the back for that. Also, the magazine on banchory is absolutely excellent. It's a must have. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience. I wouldn't feel so bad about cluttering up your mailbox if mine was cluttered up all the time with information on how to get an international drivers license, or a certain percent off widgets. Mostly from a girl named "J A N E T" -Matt _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: henry kissinger
by baker,baker 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

tonite was a wonderful nite. i was driving alone through mazes, bridges over expressways and under onramps and through the dark trees by the canals and train tracks on the north edge of the palos forest preserve. i was driving my mom's minivan, 'coz my car is on the rag, and even though it's a really dorky car, i like it. i dotingly call it "the futuristic van of the future," because it has tons of buttons and features and only about half of them actually work. to me, this perfectly represents modern life. anyway though, i was driving under the street lamps and it felt like i was travelling at the speed of light. or the speed of "lite," because in all actuality i was obeying the speed limit precisely. i felt like diet cola, in fact -- listening to heartfelt rubbish on the radio (XRT isn't what it used to be), watching my digital spedometer and thinking about the girl who called me henry kissinger. i was bubbling with aspartame. [side note: digital spedometers are wonderful. they're like numbers being added randomly on a calculator & remind you in the most glorious way that your actual speed is best measured with your blood and your body, not the needle or the radar gun or the driver's ed man's voice in the back of your head.] but this girl i was thinking about -- i thought you might like to hear about her. many years ago, i was not less shy or awkward than i am now. i might even have been more so. and there was a girl who was perhaps in love with me, who wrote me a beautiful poem about henry kissinger. we sat next to each other in english class -- sometimes we would get together and sit on the floor in the back of the room and philosophize, write snide messages on the back of our hands, and our shoulders would sometimes touch, or our knees would bump and i remember feeling very excited, but not having the slightest idea what to do except shiver and keep philosophizing and writing things all up and down my arms. i might have been in love with her as well, but i didn't expect she'd want to hear about it. she seemed very interested in philosophy and english class and that all seemed to be enough. i was happy, and so -- i thought -- was she. the poem was strange. it was about henry kissinger, and the narrator of the poem was one of kissinger's secretaries, who would leave him special notes rolled up and tied with long blades of grass. she would write him love letters and leave poems for him to find in the filing cabinets. always mr. kissinger was running about clutching paperworks, letter openers, addendums, plane tickets. running off to israel and bolivia. dealing with foreign affairs. of course, the secretary was really this girl, and henry kissinger was me. it's strange to think of. all my life i've been the sort of person that was too mesmerized by the candles and incense, the flowing robes of priests, the clicking of the organ keys -- i never had much time for god and jesus and the holy ghost up there in heaven (actually i never went to church at all, i'm making that up but you understand what i mean). i'm really happiest when i'm alone with your love letters, you see -- i love the torn spiral edge of the paper and your handwriting on the blue and pink lines. i love how the letters smell as they get old in my drawer. i think, too, that i would love being alone with your body and your voice... the torn edges of your syllables, the blue and pink veins running beneath the skin of your arms and your neck. it's when i'm actually around you -- around any people at all -- and you or those people are not allowing me to be alone... i'm too hungry for your like and your love. it's like seeing a naked candy bar and shrinking away with fright because all my life, all i've ever known is the sweet, lingering taste of chocolate left clinging to someone's leftover wrapper. (sorry for the rambling) love, baker,baker __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I am back....
by aale002＠ec.auckland.ac.nz 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

I think. Not that I ever really went away, but silence is a little like disappearing, sometimes. For people who rely upon words to make an impression, anyways. It started with the custard, I think. One night, I decided to have custard for dinner. Not in a "Hey, I'm going to be really quirky and strange and have custard for dinner" sort of way. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I have been apartment sitting over the summer break. Two friends of mine, both of whom had decided to spend the holidays overseas, asked me if I'd mind living in their trendy inner city apartments while they were away. After admitting to myself that I was going to be abode-esquely challenged otherwise, I agreed. So, I have spent the past two and a half months living alone, shuttling back and forth between these two apartments and work at the library. Hence, custard for dinner. Mutatis mutandis. QED. Being a hermit does strange things to a person. Some of my friends love it, but me, I'm a little too much like Vegemite. Not at all pleasant on my own, but a veritable ambrosia when combined with margarine and toast. That similie didn't carry through as well as I thought it was going to. Lonliness is almost like a drug, I think. Not only does it mess you up, but it is rather too addictive for my own good. So, I ended up not communicating with anyone. Including you folks. *sniff* Especial apologies to all those that may have sent me emails during that period. I haven't responded because I'm bad. And because emails smelled too much like work for my liking. (Stacey Dahling, you especially deserve to be lavished with my electronic attentions, like a nice beef roast should be lavished with Mum's special gravy.....mmmmm, beef.....) But, I am back now, and more sure of my abiilities to make a fool of myself and dwell upon it than ever. And that I reeeeaaaaalllyyyy like TBWTAS..... And that Laura Llew and I are not meant to be, since I got a big, fat zero....*sigh* Right-o, that's me, As you were, Cunning Andre +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: sinister: oh yes, i'm bad
by Histrianic＠aol.com 25 Jan '02

25 Jan '02

U.L.A. (say it like 'ullah', but it means utter list abuse..) I want to go see Clem Snide on February 16th at the Bowery Ballroom. (And I feel like a sucker for asking this..) The show says 18 and over, and I'm only a measly.. not 18 yet. So my question to new york listees: does the bowery ballroom check ID? (i really don't want to travel 400 miles if i can't get in. that would be pointless and a waste of my time. not that there is much point to my life anyway.) And. I was listening to I'm Waking Up To Us this morning in my head while I showered. It was annoying and endearing at the same time. Fudge is a good thing.. (in more ways than one.) cheers s +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Life is not whatnot and it's none of your business
by Melmoz 24 Jan '02

24 Jan '02

Hi all, Melmoz here. Man, it got cold here all of a sudden! It was 70 degrees just two days ago and now it is 45! The joys of living in the south of the US. Sinister Texas Round-Up ------------------------------------ Just want to announce that there will be a Sinister Round-Up in Texas coming up very soon!!!!! So all of you listees who live in Texas, live near Texas and want to visit us, or who will be around these parts, you are ALL invited! Email me if you would like to come, not too sure on the date yet but it is in the works. I am thinking anywhere from late April to June would be a good time. School will be out by then and we can take our time making plans. We'll make more of a decision when I hear who wants to come. Good ol' Vince the Bee and myself will be organizing the whole thing. I know of 5 people who live in Texas so far. I was thinking of doing a Dallas get-together first, since it is my hometown and I kind of wanted my first sponsored Sinister event to run smoothly and in a familiar environment for me. But if we have other requests, I am open to anything. Ken Chu, wanna come??? Heard you wanted to visit Texas someday, now's your chance! So, put on your boots, and lord knows don't forget that horse (you know that is the Texan mode of transportation, that and SUVs) and come on down (or up) for the Sinister Texas Round-up!! More details to follow! Goin crazy with CDs: ------------------------------------- I went nuts at Virgin records the other day and bought tons of cd's! I sold some stuff on Ebay and took that money and bought myself about 12 cds. Included: Magnetic Fields 69 Love Songs Vol 1, Black Box Recorder, Arab Strap, Magnetic Fields 'Get Lost', Velvet Underground, JJ72 and some old Erasure, and many more. Thanks for whoever recommended Arab Strap, they are the cat's pajamas. I also dig 69 Love Songs Vol 1, but can anyone write and tell me if Vol 2 and 3 are good and worth a buy? What really sucked about the Virgin outing was that I had a coupon for $25 off a $100 purchase and forgot it. Uck! This past weekend, I attended a music convention here in Dallas. Well, if you can call it a convention. It was mostly just old hippies selling old Peter Frampton records and what not. Not at all what Vince and I were hoping to see, of course we wanted more indie bands and whatnot. I think that I was one of the only females in the place, and it didn't help matters much that I was wearing a mini-skirt. Got many a look from scruffy old men. B&S Content: ------------------------------------- Oh yeah, I finally bought B&S Modern Rock Song and Legal Man on Ebay, as well as Sodastream. Have you guys heard about them? They sound strangely like B&S I must say, which is what drew me to them. I heard about them through www.microindie.com, pretty good site. Do you ever notice that some B&S songs have a VERY similar chord progressions to other artists' songs? I have noticed the following: 1. "Take Your Carriage Clock and Shove It" chords sound like "I've Never Been to Me" on the Priscilla Queen of the Desert soundtrack (listen for a while) 2. "Mayfly" beginning chords sounds like "Another Pleasant Valley Sunday" 3. "Get Me Away from Here I'm Dying" chords sounds like Pachelbel's Canon I might be totally wacked but at least they do to me. Remember I'm not making any comparisons of B&S to those artists, only the chords!!!!! Well enough from Melmoz. Night all.... Melmozduck =================================================== "Most of the time you are happy, you're a weirdo" -Charlatans UK +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: it really tied the room together
by Robyn Fadden 24 Jan '02

24 Jan '02

sini-ster, agh, they are seismically upgrading the building i work in. this means they are drilling through concrete with the loudest, most brain-vibrating devices. but right now they are not. and i am listening to songs:ohia. good. songs:ohia was definitely i think the best concert of last year. i laughed, i cried, i awed. kyla wrote this line and i think it's lovely: 'here's the town 30 miles away burning down' and also how could one not love a cinematographer cowboy. but it's a sad love, kyla's. like when you fall in love with a character in a book. and you dream about them and generally walk around in a daze for a while until you realize the futility of it all. but for some awful reason you still want to read the book again and again. (the first time this happened to me i was 14 and reading what else but: 'the thorn birds'. agh. i'm well over it though.) i would have made this line my subject line, but i wanted to get on the big lebowski wagon (how big *is it*?) before it really expired. the first time i saw this movie i actually fell out of my theatre seat i was laughing so hard. yes, it was an old theatre with slantly seats, but still, it was that 'this is so funny and so brilliant i have lost control of my senses' kind of laughter. i also have to say: duvet manifesto! we will crush all inferior bedding. we will be comfortable in all weathers. we will pay attention to department store flyers advertising 50%-off duvet sales. sinister was talking about this a long time ago, but since it is still winter, it is still relevant. anyone who has ever had a proper duvet cannot go back to 'blankets' and 'comforters' or 'sleeping bags opened up in imitation of a blanket'. i implore you: duvet today. and see 'waking life', yeah! and if you snowboard, get wristguards! or only go on really powdery days. because i broke my wrist snowboarding on what can only be described as 'ice' two weeks ago and it is Not Fun. and the seismic-upgrading drills make my broken bones vibrate. ow. next time i write sinister there will be less advice and more telling of tales, i promise :) i emote. fantastiche! robyn ===== I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright ~~~ Robyn Fadden rfadden(a)yahoo.com Vancouver, BC __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: i'm in love with cowboys and sailors
by Kyla Schuller 24 Jan '02

24 Jan '02

for months after i had met him, my eyes filled with tears whenever i thought about our encounter. not sadness, but not quite happiness either -- simply the ache of awareness, the sense that somehow our meeting had significance i wouldn't be able to decipher. when my mother told me he had sent me a letter which was promptly lost in the mail i quickly hid my tears in a musty pillow. it's embarassing enough to be caught crying. but over someone i'd met for four hours? but i'd never quite seen the land as it flowed through someone's veins. his tanned leathery skin barely concealed the mountain cornices and talus pilings laying beneath. i was captivated by him. my cousins and sister huddled in the kitchen, but i had his attentions monopolized. we talked about coal mining, about deadly explosions 100 feet below ground, about how cold the wind can be sweeping down from 9,000 foot mountain peaks. he's been a cowboy for 80 years. my grandmother and her siblings have always amazed me: the socialite, the stone mason, the bishop and the cowboy. finally i was meeting the cowboy! he lived in a tiny shack in a virtually uninhabited valley near tonopah, nevada for 35 years. alone, save for his cattle. he didn't heat his home: if his cows didn't get heat, neither did he. when the winter came he'd be snowed in for months at a time. in spring he'd head out on his horse for 6 weeks at a strech, placing raw eggs in the flour-filled saddlebags at his side. at night, he would painstakingly paint color on black and white photographs of his beloved ruby valley. in the 1940s he sent away for a 16mm movie camera. at my insistence, he pulled out some films. here's a bobcat i caught. here's the ranch in january. i gasp at the ridge peaks jutting valiantly into an ice blue sky. here's the town 30 miles away burning down. here's your grandparents when they were just married, 63 years ago. here -- here's some explosions in the night sky. i think, please, please don't tell me those glowing shapes in the 1940s nevada sky are what i think they are. oh yes, those are the atomic bombs being tested 60 miles away. fallout all over my ranch, all the time. here's my best friend charlie, a native american who taught me how to hunt for fish by weaving sticks into dams in streams flush with late spring. finally, this week, only six months later, i sat down to write him a letter. but how do you write a love letter to your grandmother's 80 year old brother? how do you say he's one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen in your life? how do you tell him you've heard he keeps collapsing off his horse and that maybe he's too old to work 7 days a week. how do you say i feel the mountains in your blood and it fills me with tears. how do you say please tell me every story you have about being a cowboy cinematographer. but i choked out a few lines, trusting that perhaps he'll understand them as well as he seemed to understand the watery eyes i turned away from him everytime he stepped into the kitchen for a glass of water. ************** in other news, to add to the indie emo hip hop discussion, i would like to second joe and archel's opinion of emohop. it certainly exists, and the boy i'm currently dating is a rapper in one of the groups archel mentioned, anticon, and i can report that not only does he wear thrift store tshirts and navy wool cardigans but that he owns every b & s lp and ep and that we get into spirited arguments over the nature of twee. and that he raps about things like being an office temp. love to all. -- kyla __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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