October 2002 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Isthmusology: what would Joyce listen to if he were alive?
by Kevin Hyde 22 Oct '02

22 Oct '02

Hi-ya sinisterets, In reference to the subject line, I'd like to submit that Joyce would probably listen to hip-hop, probably of the so-called underground variety (I'd think he'd be a huge fan of the Def Jux guys, because, well, why not), pulled in by the wordplay and wrapped-up like in ouroboros prose. But that's just me. So Stuart's selling his car. I hope the money he gets from this makes certain that the next record is not the aural equivalent of a three year-old with a plastic sword who is banging you repeatedly on the shins and screaming the word 'subtraction' at the top of his lungs. That would make me happy. Not that any of the other records have been like that (i.e. bad), but hey, there's always a chance. It seems like there's just a hint of hostility in the air (or whatever) with Sinister. It's kind of nice actually. I'd grown so used to the pseudo-bucolic daze I got from reading the posts that I took it for granted. Just like the Godspeed you black emperor mailing list- it functions simply to make me feel lucky that I long ago lost my desire to write sarcastic and angry things to people with whom I will never meet. I definitely think that B&S should release, a la Dismemberment Plan, the backing tracks to their albums, and then let the fans do remixes. I would kill to hear a DJ Chu or Llew remix of just about any track- first choice would be Boy with the Arab Strap, or maybe even Loneliness...Runner. I doubt that would happen though. Maybe we could do an all-emeritus remix instead, of only Isobel and other-Stuart songs. The new Dave Eggers book is good. less good than the first though. more slippery. thanks, and now, I die, Kev +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: of things to come and things to go...
by s. lord 22 Oct '02

22 Oct '02

yesterday i went outside to go to class - it was a wonderful sort of day where the sun doesn't shine and there are only gray clouds everywhere - it looked like it could snow at any moment - secretly i wished it would - but friends of mine do not think things like that are fun - so i kept it to myself - as i waited outside for the bus to pick me up i noticed three girls walking to the stop - i had never noticed these people before - where had they come from - as i remembered it from the past mornings - i was then only one getting on the bus at nine in the morn - i waited outside by my lonesome - in the cold and rain - but who were these people - what hole did they crawl out from - i suddenely wanted to yell at them to find there own bus - this one is mine - it has been mine at this time since - well um - late august - yes - and i should remain mine - but then they got closer to me and i lost all ambition - so we waited - the four of us - i was in the back - in my black wool coat - and i couldn't help but notice that they kept turning around and staring - especially the one in the front - she kept turning and looking at me - trying not to be completely obvious - but still obvious enough - like she was staring at the tree behind me - and then she suddenly lost interest when i looked at her - but it did not bother me - i decided they could ride my bus - it was not a problem - yet - if they try to do it again on wednesday i will make them speak to me - i will not be ignored on my bus - - luv to you all --s. _________________________________________________________________ Unlimited Internet access for only $21.95/month. Try MSN! http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/2monthsfree.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: thank fuck for this shit
by Kenneth P Y Chu 22 Oct '02

22 Oct '02

I am a bad boy. Or a "bad person", if I'm being non-sexist, or Liz Daplyn. But unfortunately I'm neither of those. Yeah, so I tried to send this e-mail earlier on, from my work address, and it didn't let me, and told me that my e-mail contains "Pornographic Contents"! And I read it, and it said that my e-mail was pornographic because it had the word "fucking" in it. Fucking hell. So I guess now I'm just going to talk about actual porn instead, if I'm going to be accused of something I may as well be actually guilty! People get angry with me a lot like that, just the other night I went back home to my flat, and my flatmate left me a message asking me that "If you want to cook at 1 in the morning can you please be quiet?" I wasn't even hungry. But then I sent him a message back (a pretty grumpy one, actually) about some other things and things got a little hot, and so we took off all our clothes, and made some sweet loving all night. And afterwards we were friends again. I guess I can Thank Fuck For That. That didn't actually happen, by the way, well the hate messages did, but not the fucking. Thank fuck. I did actually watch some porn though that night, it was "Debbie Does Dallas", apparently a classic, a porno with an alliterating name is hard to beat. I bet Mark Casarotto can though, in 60 seconds. Fucking hell. The movie was sexcellent, it was about college cheerleaders having to go to Dallas for some reason but didn't have the funds, and so all went and got themselves part-time jobs. Not BLOW jobs, mind, not yet, they came later, and the girls liked it. However, they were all good girls who never go all the way. Except Debbie, whom Mr Greenfeld, on the promise of paying for the Dallas trip for the whole cheerleading band, fucked the pants out of, or he would have, had she been wearing any. Thank fuck for that. I think if I say Thank Fuck anymore I might turn into Chris Evans, and that'd be bad, with him being an anagram of "no bend" and all. Fucking Hell. Ken _________________________________________________________________ Get a speedy connection with MSN Broadband. Join now! http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/freeactivation.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I've forgotten how to post
by Mark Casarotto 22 Oct '02

22 Oct '02

I'm breaking the 15 minute rule because I've got to start work in 15 minutes, and I obviously need coffee and toilet-break beforehand. You know? It's been a long, long time since my last Sinister confession. I can't remember what I said then, though it was probably something to do with http://www.joannou.net/biondino - it has, shamefully, taken away my focus from entertaining 1300 close friends and placed it on a marathon ego-wank over the sticky pages of the modern interweb. I'm so sorry! However, it seems I'm not the only one to have neglected a certain List in recent months. Perhaps some of our regulars could make a bit more of an effort, hmm?? Sinister is like a bowl of cherries. Dark red, circular with a sizeable stone in the middle, attached to a hard stalk. And we're here to proverbially tie that stalk into knots with our tongues. So if, say, you're not happy with how Sinister's going, it's up to YOU to make it so. And if you just want to insult someone in front of 1300 people, then, um, go and watch Exeter City. Otherwise, and this is the ironic bit, you look like a real cunt. Ian, Tigermilking is on hold at the moment - it needs a bit of a refit. Feel free to give suggestions, anyone! I was going to post content and interesting stuff, but I'm too pissed off. Bye y'all. Markx __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: only slightly, only slightly less than i used to
by David Hewitt 22 Oct '02

22 Oct '02

GREETINGS Hello there Sinister. Contact from me has been sporadic at best recently, which is (I suspect) just how you like it. Still, Im overtired and feeling somewhat contemplative today, so I thought Id drop you a line. Just for the heck of it. WHAT'S YOURS? Someone said something about Sinister feeling like home. I thought that was interesting. Im not sure I agree with them entirely perhaps it feels a bit more like the local. Except, you know... bigger. I seem to think of and refer to Sinister interchangeably as something, someone and somewhere. If it were really one of the latter two, I dare say many of our lives would have been a little less confusing of late. NEWS Whats new? Im in a new city, in a new job, living in a new flat. I have a girl with whom Im involved newly living with me, whos new to the country. So, in summary, a fair bit. CONTENT Fairly obviously, I havent any. Im not particularly sorry, but I can pretend to be, if you like. CONTENT? Sometimes I think about happiness. It doesnt make me any happier, though. You know, Im pretty sure I can remember a time when if youd have asked me what I needed to be happy, Id pretty much list off all the things I have now: a place of my own, a decent job with decent pay, and someone to love. Despite life having been strange, unpredictable and bumpy of late, things seem to have come together surprisingly well. I wonder, then, why theres still so much to worry about, and still so much left to do? Does anyone ever get there? I could convincingly describe myself as either a reasonable success or a dismal failure, depending on my choice of terms. Some nights I cant sleep for worry, and tear myself apart for all the things Ive done or havent done. Other times I stop and look around me, and feel this quite genuine thankfulness for whats there. I dont suppose this is either interesting or unusual. Think of when youre running an errand for work on a sunny day. You dash past the people in the park, the people sitting outside restaurants sipping at things. How nice to sit there in the sun and just rest, you think. And you envy them. Then on your own day off, you sit and watch the people pass by, and your head is full of the things you have to do, and how far behind you are, and you shuffle in your seat and look at your watch, your diary, your phone. And you go. Or you go and drink. You wish you were doing less, but you wish youd done more. EXCUSES Sinisters been sort of quiet lately, so I thought itd be okay to ramble a bit for now. Ive been head down, bum up in this new job (no, its not THAT sort of job, you dirty perve), so I havent been pestering you lot very often, or hanging about being foul-mouthed in #sinister all that much lately. Things have changed an awful lot around me, but you know I still read your messages every morning. Some of you make me think, some make me smile, and others make me grind my teeth. I wouldnt have it any other way. MUSIC I ordered that Polyphonic Spree record about a month ago, and it still hasnt arrived. Bugger. Has anyone heard the new Delgados or the new Apples in Stereo? Are they any good? Someone said that the new Reindeer Section record was good, but I dont believe them. SPORT I think every pub in Melbourne has a Galaga machine, but I'm yet to find one with a dartboard. Has the world gone all topsy-turvy? I'm not dissing Galaga, mind, but I've got a hankering to drunkenly lob sharp projectiles across a crowded room, and without the proper facilities, that usually ends in tears. Mine, admittedly, but tears nonetheless. SHOUT-OUTS To Stevie T and Mark C (ask them about their new neighbour), and to Will Porter. Just because they're a bunch of handsome devils. Bulk love, -Vanilla Flavoured David. _________________________________________________________________ Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Re: Glasgow
by C.C.S.Crone 21 Oct '02

21 Oct '02

Greetings to Kittenmouse. I'm going myself to Glasgow next wednesday, and according to Lucy Alder there's a national pop league on october 25th. She even sent me a link: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/nationalpopleague/ And it leads you to: http://www.geocities.com/the_winchester_club/ at Woodside Social Club, 329 North Woodside Road, Glasgow Duh, perhaps not the right link. Let's try: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/nationalpopleague/files/playlists/ Yes, yes, that's close. But a time, not a place. Perhaps http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/nationalpopleague/cal///,,,/group/nationalp opleague/YYY,44015/srt,1/?v=1&t=1035241265 ("Kathy, I'm lost" I said, though I knew she was sleeping) or http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/nationalpopleague/messages (This world was made for men, not us) One last try (Penso che la sigaretta abbia un gusto piú intenso quand'è l'ultima) http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/nationalpopleague/message/170 Damn damn damn (Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Traeume erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuheren Ungeziefer verwandelt) My god, why hast thou forsaken me? Quia Jehova sustebat me. But relax, if you understand the music, the meaning, you don't need to know the language. If you don't, knowing the language won't help you. And so I'll point my bird's beak to the air and stroll through the bleak house of Glasgow, between endless rows of blackened housing estates, riding city buses in search of eternity, and finding myself at every corner, but believing that epiphany is around the next corner, allways around the next corner. Allways around the next corner. But the real epiphany is in the anticipation, you know what I mean? ccs +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: in the roaring traffic's boom--in the silence of my lonely room
by richard john gillanders 21 Oct '02

21 Oct '02

hello sinister, I WISH THIS WAS A WORK OF ART. THE FLAMING SCHLEPS 'jase' andreas said. something. he advises getting girls drunk so that they won't notice/remember you doing things to them? haha. think he shouldn't have sent that to a large mailing list. can't think what he should've. sometimes I wish I was subscribed to a large mauling list. and then. someone else seemed glad that ken's 'the weakest link' thing ended. I can't decide if he was being haha or whatever. either of them... uh. I enjoyed it. ken's 'the weakest link' thing. it was funny and really funny and I awaited each installment: I had to. I want him to do a 'the chair' parody now. but, since I've never seen a full one of the shows, I don't know if/how that could work. I WENT TO AMERICA FOR SEPTEMBER AND OTHER STUFF AND HAD LOTS OF FUN I went to america for september and other stuff and had lots of fun. I was introduced to blatz beer and to 'american movie' and to, like I said, other stuff. 'american movie', though. yeah. there's a website for it here---> http://www.americanmovie.com I'd never heard of it before. but it's really good. funny. the people in it. yeah. funny. two of the people in it were in 'storytelling' too. this was really funny to me when I found out. oh well. it's senseless. things continue as they should. AND THEN I WENT TO LONDON yeah. so I left america at the end of september, not really wanting to. after long flights and a five hour stop in the amsterdam: I was in london and ready to go to the chickfactor black & white ball thing. well. I was going. all the people that lucy mentioned were there. plus me. and david moore and sally moore. and maybe some others. but she knows this. in fact. it was her who told me we were there. I had had a suspicion. it was really good. yeah, the pines especially. especially since I hadn't seen them play before. and pipas were good. even though I only caught the end of their SET. and the future bible heroes were good too. even if the g*ns*n and m*rr*tt insisted that the curtain to the almost balcony be drawn and the g*ns*n told someone to switch their video camera off and the m*rr*tt stole my [/an] ashtray. well, jeez, he didn't even have the GUTS [/need] to do that; he got someone else to steal it for him. "is anyone using this ashtray?" we were asked as the ashtray in question was lifted and its contents emptied into another not so close to where I and the people I was sitting with were sitting "well..." said someone I was sitting with. "it's for st*ph*n m*rr*tt." said the emptier and looked like they almost wanted to shrug and scampered off to PANDER SOME MORE. but, yeah. I met some nice people that I known of but hadn't met and now I have--they were nice. and I saw some people I hadn't seen for a good while--they were pretty good too. and the ones I'd seen most recently--yeah. THUNDER ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT'S RAINING haha. okay. I remember hearing a rumour that jim kerr owned the oko sushi bar on ingram street in glasgow. and then I remember hearing that it WAS a rumour. like, one that wasn't actually true. and I thought it was funny. a funny rumour to make up. so I made a game in which you choose a piece of property in glasgow and a glaswegian 'famous' person and make a new rumour. there's no real outcome. unless you count the satisfaction of making a LIE. we only ever played the game once though. we said that ricky ross had bought bonkers. [ricky ross was in deacon blue and bonkers is a bad club]. we even thought up something that he was going to rename it. I don't know. I also don't know why we haven't played this game again since. oh, but since. like, last weekend. I found out that jim kerr part-owns the oko sushi bar on ingram street in glasgow. so. NO TITLE c'mon kids. it's been really quiet around here. I know I haven't done much to, sort of, help. but. C'MON. KIDS. I remember sam walton posting a link to a page that had a lot of posts from a while back on. there were some good posts then!! not that it's just bad posts now... I'll stop that. I didn't mean it. I mean: to do it. I know I haven't not got worse... I WAS GONNA MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT MIKE SCHANK BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD HAVE APPRECIATED IT. love, richard. __________________________________________ Join http://www.toast.com today for your own free, flash-based webmail! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: avant que tu t'en ailles d�crocher les �toiles
by elenita 99 21 Oct '02

21 Oct '02

Hello Sinister, I have been reading all your posts with interest. It is funny how after being "away" for some time, it still feels like home to be here and read about your lives and stories. I came back from a nice holiday in Sicily a few weeks ago, and it feels like it was 10 months ago already. Holidays are always too short when you are working. Sometimes I wish I was a poor student again. I am starting to be in my winter mood again, as the weather in Paris is colder every single day that passes. Symptoms of winter mood are as follow: general grumpiness and laziness, no will whatsoever to get up and get out of the warm duvet, extreme desire of eating chocolate and sweets. Therefore it is harder to cope with everyday life, work, grocery shopping and tube journeys. I don't like winter, I have a deep feeling that my body was designed to live in Thaïland or Guatemala. I will be 23 soon. I feel like I am getting old, I have been working for almost a year. I don't exactly feel like an adult, but people are relying on me, expect me to do and produce things. I have my own health insurance, my own house insurance, my own pay slips, and I can't cry to my mum anymore when I am overdrawn (that is most of the time). Being an adult is not always easy. I am a bit more worried about my mum getting old. I mean she is not "old" or anything, she is going to be 47 soon, that how old mums are these days I suppose. But she is more worried about everyday life, she has more troubles coping with my dad, and instead of having three kids at home she has only one now (and not for very long, I suppose). I mean, when all you have been doing all your life is cherishing your children and trying to be the best mum in the world, what the hell do you do when they leave and go away? Learn portuguese, learn chinese cooking, learn piano? Doesn't sound like the best solution to me. I have read Gordon's "A to Z of the girls I have known", then realised I could not fill it with boys. Mmmm this is surely showing what kind of work needs to be done here. I have spent last weekend in Luxemburg. This is such a tiny and weird country. People have too much money and they don't know what to do with it, so they are trying to forget the weather is crap by buying big cars and big houses and diamond earrings to their wifes. A strange mix of luxury and gloom, as most of the country is grey and sad. On another note, anyone with ideas related to the "how to entertain a 15 year-old brother all weekend" theme is more than welcome to email me. Have a great day, and week, and month Elena xx _________________________________________________________________ Unlimited Internet access -- and 2 months free! Try MSN. http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/2monthsfree.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Songs for idiots (final round + head to head)
by Kenneth P Y Chu 21 Oct '02

21 Oct '02

(Previously, on Belle and Sebastian on the Weakest link...) <Anne> Voting over, it's time to reveal who YOU think is the WEAKEST LINK! <Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... DUM DUM <Stuart> Isobel <Bob> Stuart <Isobel> Stuart <Orchestra> DUM! <Anne> Bob! <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Think you have a better chance of winning against Isobel then do you? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Can you say any words other than Belfast? <Bob> No <Anne> Okay.. Isobel! <Isobel> Hehe yes Anne. <Anne> Why Stuart? <Isobel> Ah, he just doesn't move in circles of the brave where art defines their lives, and besides, he once made my headscarf all sticky and REALLY SMELLY! it was like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! <Anne> Well Stuart, they think you smell and they don't want you sticking around anymore, and with two votes you ARE the weakest link goodbye! * Stuart does the walk of shame, a dog on wheel in tow. (..Inside interview room) <Stuart> Well well! Voting me off huh, trying to piss me off huh, WELL LISTEN HONEY THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO OFFEND ME! THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO OFFEND ME ANYMORE, HAHAHAHAHAHA. So there. <Stuart> By the way.. anyone want to buy my car? (..Back to studio) <Anne> And onto the final round, team. So far you've banked £350, in this round anything that you bank will be trebbled and added to the final total, I'm taking another 10 seconds off the clock and I'll start with the strongest link from the last round and that's Bob. Let's PLAY.. THEWEAKESTLINK! <Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM... <Anne> Start the clock <Orchestra> DUM DUM! <Anne> Bob, The Royal Hospitals is located in which city in Northern Ireland? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Correct, Isobel, in sports name the Manchester United and England player, Nicky who? <Anne> Butt! <Anne> Correct, Bob, Which famous city was James Galway born? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Correct, Isobel, the Lunar Calender is based on the movements of which celestial body? <Isobel> Moon! <Anne> Correct, Bob, What is the county town of the County Antrim in Northern Ireland? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Correct! Isobel, The timezone difference between New York and London is 5 hours, but is New York 5 hours in front, or 5 hours behind? <Isobel> Behind! <Anne> Correct, Bob, Which city is Kenneth Branagh from? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Correct! Isobel, the main mirror on a car, typically mounted just in front of the windscreen is known as the what-view mirror? <Isobel> Rear! <Anne> Correct! Bob, which pride is the oldest continuously-celebrated Pride in Ireland? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> Correct! Isobel, idioms, someone who is pregnant can be described as having a what in the oven? <Isobel> Bun! <Anne> Correct! <Orchestra> DUM... DUM... DUM DUM! <Anne> Team you have managed to reach the £1000 target for this round, we'll trebble that and add that to the money from the previous rounds, making today's prize money a grand total of £3350. <Anne> You will now play against each other. I'll ask the two of you up to five alternate questions. The person who answers the most questions correctly wins. The strongest link from the previous round has the choice of who goes first, and that's you Bob. <Bob> I'll go first please Anne. <Anne> Okay, let's PLAY.. HEAD TO HEAD! <Orchestra> DUM... DUM... DUM DUM! <Anne> Bob... <Anne> What is the atomic number of Uranium? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> No, the correct answer is 92. <Anne> Isobel, in literature, the novel "Across the Barricades" by Joan Lingard was set in what city? <Isobel> er.. cape town! <Anne> No, the correct answer is Belfast. <Anne> Bob, what is the longest word that can be typed using only the top row of letter keys on a typewriter? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> No the correct answer is "Typewriter". <Anne> Isobel, Which city lies where the river Lagan meets the Belfast Lough? <Isobel> Oslo? <Anne> No the correct answer is Belfast. <Anne> Bob, what is the mean radius of Earth to the nearest kilometre? <Bob> er... Belfast! <Anne> No, the correct answer is 6371km <Anne> Isobel, In football, the legendary Manchester United player George Best came from what city? <Isobel> Georgia! <Anne> No, the correct answer is Belfast. <Anne> Bob, name all 5 of the Marx Brothers <Bob> Let me think... Belfast, Belfast, Belfast, Belfast and ... Belfast! <Anne> No the correct answer is Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo and Zeppo. <Anne> Isobel, famous landmarks, the Scottish Provident Institution is situated in what city? <Isobel> Glasgow! <Anne> No, the correct answer is Belfast. <Anne> Bob, who became England's first world motor racing champion, in 1958? <Bob> Belfast! <Anne> No, the correct answer is Mike Hawthorn. <Anne> Isobel, if you answer this question correctly, then you have won. <Anne> So, for three thousand, three hundred and fifty pounds: The letters B, E, L, F, A, S, T can be combined together to form the name of which city in Northern Ireland? <Isobel> er.. B... <Isobel> Beeeelll.... <Isobel> Beell... * Isobel catches breath <Isobel> Beeell..fas.... * Isobel catches breath <Isobel> Be.. * Isobel catches breath <Isobel> Belfast! <Anne> That is the correct answer. <Orchestra> Dolodododododo dolododododo DUM DUM DUM DUM! <Anne> Isobel, you are today's strongest link and you walk away with £3350, Bob, you leave, with NOTHING! <Anne> Join us again... for the weakest link, Goodbye! * Anne does a horrible wink thing (..Inside interview room) <Bob> Of course I'm feeling a bit gutted I've come all this way to lose out on the final round. I feel that maybe if I had chosen the other set of questions I could have won it. <Isobel> I'm so happy to have won! And I totally deserved it, being the strongest link in everything and all. I'm going to use the prize money to buy loads of Kinder Eggs so I can take them all to concerts and then I can shake them on stage whilst looking really grumpy! Maybe I can get a new washing machine too so I can finally wash my headscarves! Yippie! <Bob> Anne Robinson was so intimidating, I'm beginning to wonder if she has any relation to Neil Robertson.. Robinson.. Robertson... Hey! You know I think I might be onto something here... <Orchestra> DUM DUM DUM DUM! --- (The end) Ken _________________________________________________________________ Unlimited Internet access -- and 2 months free! Try MSN. http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/2monthsfree.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Re: Sinister: Dancin'
by jasonandreas＠btinternet.com 21 Oct '02

21 Oct '02

> How do you get your girlfriends ring size secretly for a surprise proposal? You could try putting a piece of string round her finger as she sleeps and marking it? If you get her drunk beforehand, she's less likey to wake up and wonder what the hell your up to. Oh yes, and don't post about it to a large mailing list ;) Good luck! - Jase +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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