February 2002 - Sinister

Sinister: i'm so excited and i just can't hide it
by bus stoppers 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

hello everyone and a good morning to you... i think that i will start my post with a bit of b&s content as i am way too excited about coachella!! b&s AND bjork. how will i contain all of the joy? plus they are on separate days which gives me an 'excuse' to go both days...it will be better than last year. not even bringing up the fact that i am NOT going to get heat exhaustion this year. a bunch of friends, good music, a giant field, and camping. *sigh* plus the pot i plan to smuggle in my bra. valentine's day is just around the corner. my sinister valentine john is suuper nice. (hi john!...your package will be in the mail soon i pwomise.) maybe i will have a good valentine's day for once. does anyone else not like that day, or is it just me and my selfish self-misery? cunning andre wrote: "And I've officially become THE MOST PATHETIC PERSON ON SINISTER. Last week I signed up for one of those internet dating sites. I don't know what more can possibly be said about that." sweetie, you aren't the only pathetic sinister...i have one as well. it was the middle of the night and i was suffering from an extra-excruciating case of insomnia. it was kinda as a joke, but surprisingly i have gotten 2 replies. one from a guy who was super handsome and the other from a man more than twice my age. that one was a bit unnerving as he was almost 50 years old. if you show me yours, i'll show you mine... for my happy news...i got my first real paycheck on friday after not getting one for months. first i got my cell phone turned back on. then i mailed a friends' belated christmas present. then i got to go to the store and buy some lotions! though this might sound like an un-event, it's actually a very exciting thing. i work in a cafe and thus, constantly washing my hands. i got to splurge and buy fancy semi-expensive lotion. relief. there are lotions there are potions you can take to hide your shame from all those prying eyes some people have been posting about depression, hard times, and medication. i thought i would join the red wagon and post a bit about it too. it has taken me seven years to finally get over things. it all started when i was 14 and the first suicide attempt. and it all ended with getting my heart broken a coupla days before this past new year's holiday. the seven years have been a long tiring journey through my soul. but i am grateful for it, for if i had not made it through it all, i wouldn't be where i am today. i mean, more power to those who can do it without going through crying all the time. i have had to accept that i am just not one of those people. as far as suggestions and personal testimonies of 'cures'...i tried counceling, medication, and forcing myself to be happy. i tried to do it on my own and i tried to rely on friends and family. counciling just flat out didn't do any good. though probably mostly my fault as i didn't stick with it. it might have worked, who knows. the anxiety medication worked for a little while until i tried to take the whole bottle at the same time. and whenever i tried to go out and make up my mind to be happy, i was pretending. living a "fake happy" life made everything else worse. i tried to get help from my parents. long story short. i know they love me, but they just didn't know how to deal with me. even to this day, we can't just have a conversation. it's very sad really. it's one of the one things that i wish was different. dropping hints to my friends that something was wrong, only pushed most of them away. that was my own fault. who the hell was i to drag them into something that they didn't want to deal with. after that i didn't really have anyone, but myself. and the knowledge of where i needed to be mentally and physically. i have posted about it before, but my grandfather is what helped me completely snap out of it. i forget who it was or exactly what was said, but it was mentioned that all this talk about being depressed is more a subject of selfishness. i believe this to be right, but not at the same time. does that make sense? i mean, part of it all is sometimes a physicality that you might not be aware of and sometimes it's an extended pity party. maybe it's all a general grey area that maybe there is no set cure or set definition. some people go through it and some don't. sometimes it breaks you and sometimes it makes you stronger. there was a point to my story...oh...the lotion. but now i can't really remember the application. hmm. i'm sorry about the tangent. but i will end with more b&s content: "storytelling". how to begin. i didn't really fancy the movie too much for it's "movie value". it's just...awkward. i mean, i was just disappointed about paying nine whole dollars for it. the soundtrack was wonderful though. and yeah, everytime i listen to "the state i am in" i occasionally have a mental picture i wish i didn't. there were a lot of extended silences. i wish he would do something like "welcome to the dollhouse" awkward again, and maybe move away from the happiness awkward. todd s. does get credit in my book though for getting b&s to do his soundtrack. he must not be all that bad? off to work, sara p.s...everyone go get your tickets on march 2nd!! yippie!!! ===== all the people'd stare as if we were both quite insane someday my name and his are going to be the same __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings! http://greetings.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I'd rather have a life than a lifestyle
by JAMES GILMER 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

"THE GIRL MOST LIKELY TO..." The subject line comes from a conversation Elise and I were having eariler this afternoon during a ramble around the city. We'd just passed two indie boys who were so obviously indiekid poster children it was ridiculous when I'd commented that I was glad we didn't look like anything other than two stunningly gorgeous kids in love; "I'm so sick of people who wear their lifestyles like clothes" "Yup, I just likes wearing the pretty clothes and my Jimmy just likes wearing clothes, period" "I'd rather have a life than a lifestyle" Elise did her own little sign-off post, and I suppose it's time for me to do the same. Not that I don't enjoy Sinister, but it's not "Where I Live"; if you take my meaning. "Cuddleducks and Snugglebunnies" Sinster is indirectly responsible for Elise and I meeting after all (no crush list biz with us, long time readers will no I think the list crush thing is a hideous idea). Hell, if I hadn't joined the list back prior to my Europe trip last spring when I wanted concert info, I'd have never rode out to the west coast to see the concerts or arranged a few Sinister picnics; one of which would see me meeting up with a certain lovely young lady. Let's not forget the lovely posts from the Queen of Kute; Miss Kirsten Kenyon, or the utterly lovely posts from a certain Rachel of the Looping Fruit. Special mention must be made of that oddly quiet Southern Belle, the llovely Laura Llew. "FIRE MAKES DEAD THINGS TASTE GOOD" Before I go I do feel the need (while still wanting to leave on an 'up' note) to say just how much I loved the post that Lilywhite forwarded; "Open mouth, Insert Elitist Arse" indeed. If we ever find ourselves sharing a pub booth I'll buy you a round Lily. The wee spanking that Lily got for ruffling some softskinned feathers convinced me it was time to be a-moving on. "IN THE VILLAGE" Amy Longcore is organizing a piccy-nic and all I can say is I'm glad I don't have to do this one :) Nah, I'm only kidding, I'd be remiss if I didn't say how much fun the meet-ups and picnics were. Cheers to all who attended, and especially to the brave souls who fought a Chicago winter to make the last one. "WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I SPOKE WITH A CHILD'S VOICE" One of the things I love about Elise is that, like me, there's a part of her that's still the kid that shines through. She insists this is part of the reason she loves me. Listening to people complain about lost childhood you realize that it isn't lost childhood or innocence that they're lamenting, but the fact that the world no longer revolves around them, that they are no different, no better or worse than anyone else, and that if they want anything in this world, they're going to have to reach for it. Those people are the children, emotionally immature and a pain in the butt to deal with. Usually annoyingly manipulative to boot. Then there are the people who somehow hold onto the ability to see the world as someplace interesting and fresh. The ability to enjoy life, to live it and taste it, isn't something that's lost when we 'grow-up', it's something that's lost when we let our resentment at the world, at actually having to act unselfishly, control ourselves. I've always liked Sherlock Holmes for the reason that he must be the ultimate child; able to find meaning and life and stories in the most commmonplace objects. Grow up and live. "Karmageddon" Ken said that Buddists are too at ease with the world and thus aren't miserable enough to like the whiny lyris of Morrisey... ...and that explains SO MUCH about me and why I can't stand Morrisey. (okay, okay; "Boy with the Thorn in His Side" is infectious as hell and makes me want to dance, but I still don't care for the Smiths that much) Yes, the Dali Lama does have Kenwood speakers in his sandels, kicking the bass and feeling the harmonics of the backbeat of the universe shiver up his spine with every step. I love the Dali Lama. A religious leader who expouses tolerance and understanding and live and let live and is just smiling all the damn time. Someone make him take a piss test, the man must be high on something. When people ask him what it feels like to be the Dali Lama he just smiles that self-mocking smile and says; "Not famous, just monk...just monk" ...and I'm Just Jimmy. I still think most religion is crap, but I respect the man and the philosophy behind it. "Walk to the Station" Well, it's that time. I had more to say, but it suddenly hit me how unimportant it was. Here's what's important; I have a new book to read. There's the most beautiful girl in the world curled up on the couch in the next room. The Shins' "New Slang" is playing. I feel like dancing with said girl. Love and thoughts to Kirsten, ~stine, Fruitloop, Longcore, Llew (one of my oldest and best Sinister friends, she's too good to me), and all the rest of you lot I've forgotten. "Love is..." A peanut butter and honey sandwich and a glass of milk. Trust me...it's a Zen thing. Relentlessly, Jim _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: i'm gettin me an ed yoo kay shun
by Kirsten Kenyon 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

how many times does a person have to do the same thing on a regular basis for it to be considered a "habit?" i know there's a set number. i think i've probably surpassed it. my current habits (assuming i may refer to them as such) are as follows: -doing the crossword puzzle in the shepherd express every week -eating a cheese and tomato sandwich for lunch every day -spending saturday afternoons learning to distinguish sambas from calypsos from russian gypsy music from spanish gypsy music from new orleans from chicago from god-knows-what-else. from slava, a middle- aged russian street musician. i think i've mentioned him before. now i've mentioned him again. -sundays at the antique market how depressing. really. yesterday, i stood behind a faded curtain in a pink chiffon cocktail dress and a string of pearls, pinning back my hair and humming along with moon river. and then i realized that as much as i might sometimes like to be some mysterious, worldweary cynic lurking in dark corners and just aching with sophistication, i'm really nothing more than a sap romantic who talks to puppies and paints her toenails while singing along with billie holiday. i would probably make fun of me. well, i do. but...sheesh. so i wandered around for about an hour, trying on coats and gloves and opening umbrellas, trying to imagine each item in a context...a hat someone wore to a funeral, a polished cane that leaned against a wall for years after its owner didn't need it anymore, someone's favorite dress, a dumb ashtray someone bought on a family vacation to south dakota...i can almost hear some of you gagging. i am a S-A-P. i eat this stuff up. i smiled at a lot of really old people in embroidered sweatshirts. i bought some fake jade monkeys. they need names. i NAME everything. more SAP. i think that misty is a good name for a monkey. and maybe oberon. and hank. if you met three monkeys named misty, oberon, and hank, which one would you think was pretentious? it's totally hank, in case you wanted to know. i watched chinatown. i like when jack nicholson says that he likes breathing through his nose. i mean, i think we can all relate to that. i think that when people make films, it's really good when they make them so people who watch them can sit back and think "yeah, i get that." this really good friend of mine made a really interesting website that you might be really interested in if you like really good movies, especially ones that are from the nineties and are starring kid n play. i can't remember the link right now, but you really should check it out when i get around to posting it. guess what! i'm taking a college writing class! we get to do peer editing. it's so much fun. also, i have a history class. we were instructed to bring items that we thought represented life in the year 1900. anywhere in the world. very very broad assignment, and much like show and tell, only for older kids. i brought some farmer's diary. in this dialogue, let V represent the teacher, while O and M will be students. V: what did you bring? O: a photo of magic johnson. V: why? O: um. magic johnson has AIDS. V: i see. and what does this have to do with life in 1900? O: (stares at the wall with mouth hanging slightly open) V: and what did you bring along? M: i brought a glue gun. V: an electric glue gun? M: mm-hmm. V: (silence) O: (cough) M: electricity is important. (long pause) i guess i misunderstood the assignment. I Think that's enough love kirsten x Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The Big One
by Matthew Henderson 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

Things have been heating up for two minutes now, but I don't think we're ready. I decide keep folling around for another minute or so, then I would make my move. I finally, I think we're both ready. But there is just one more obstacle in my way. It was a little difficult to rip off, but I think my confidence made it seem easy. I remembered back to my first time. I was in high school. I had thought about it, a lot. I'm a bit shy and very nervous though. One glorious day though, it actually happened. I began to move in, and although it smelled kind of funny, I thought of how great it feels to be actually doing it, and began eating away. The sweat trickled down my forehead as the room seemed to get hotter and hotter. It was getting very intense now, until I was finished. Surely, this was the finest microwaveable burrito I had ever had. It might seem a bit pricey for 1.79 at my local gas station, but it's soo worth it. Especially with a cherry icee to wash it down. Aah, it's the finer things in life that make everything bad seem okay. I might be wrong, but I think someone was slagging the fact that belle and sebastian did shirts. I don't know, maybe they didn't. Either way, I just thought I'd use this opportunity to tell about how I am in an incredibly awkward stage in life. Right now, a Large t-shirt is just too small. It's okay before I wash it, but afterwards, it shrinks into smallness. However, an X-large is much too big, even after wash. The only t-shirts I own that fit like a dream are the belle and sebastian shirts. Even after washing, they are the perfect length. The arms fit so well. They're loose, but not TOO loose. It's just a nice feeling. And those russian dolls are just too cute. In the recent tradition of leaving posts, I thought I'd say I'm leaving. It's been fun, but I actually HAVE now a life and you're all GEEKS and I AM NOT! -Matt P.S. I'm not really leaving the list. This should be obvious since everyone who knows anything at all about me should know that I will never ever have a life and I am far geekier than all of you. Long Live the Fighters. P.P.S. Sorry for having TWO deep, depressing posts in a row. I'll be more uplifting next time. Twelfth Night perhaps. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: storytelling and daydreaming
by LilGrape25＠aol.com 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

Hello Sinister! In my last post I wrote about vegetarian cheeseless sandwiches and got a whole gaggle of responses and suggestions. Here is my improved list, for those of you who care: peanut butter and/or jelly fig paste lettuce and/or onion and/or tomato bananna with or without chocolate sauce peanut butter and wheat germ mustard roast vegetables Banana and peanut butter french fries (been told you brits call this Chip Butty) peanut butter and fluff hummus with or without avocado portebello mushroom with or without lettuce and tomato peanut butter and honey alfalfa sprouts egg salad vegitarian stuffing and cranberry sauce mashed potatoes yummy, eh? I saw Storytelling yesterday. And, sorry if I offend any of you, I thought it was AWFUL. definately one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It was so saturated with cliches of Audience Shockers that it seems almost impossible that the movie-makers would think that their movie shocked the audience. Was the absolute predictability and uncreativity and inconsistancy of the plotline intentional?! The Belle and Sebastin music was very good, though. I can't decide if this made it worth seeing. Jesse talked about his own daydreams, and I feel some connection to him (or in one case, you) on this matter. I have very elaborate daydreams that are very rarely sexual. Mine, though, take place in fictional places and involve people I know, people I made up and hybrids of the two. I sometimes use some modification of myself as well, but rarely. These fantasies are almost always about some sort of closed cummunity. Special boarding schools mostly. Sometimes Utopias. I rarely start new ones, I haven't made a new one in years, but they sort of evolve...I mean, I've had these stories going for as long as I remember. Some of them started as games I played with my dolls. My favorites, right now, are one about a meticulously planned Utopia and all of the rules and regulations. I go over the mapping of the town, the jobs, the system of money, the education system..down to meticulous details. Where do children live when they are 1, 5, 10, 15? How many in a room in a build! ing, how many cafeterias? How many rooms per age group, then? Where would a student go to school if they are artistically inclined but also headed towards a job in cummunity leadership? My other favorite story, I think, is a little bit more complex and interesting. I almost started writing it as a book, once, and so its got the closest thing to a plot line. Its about this made up medical condition/conspiricy in which a person's physical and emotional wellbeing is connected to the tides and the moon. That is, they have ups and down as the tides go in and out and the moon orbits, each day and month has its ups and downs. A dozen people are born with it in a specific geographic region (conveniently all part of the USA) each year, and the affects start around the age of 12, at which point they are forced by law to go this retreat...this island..until they are 22. The retreat's purpose is to teach the young people to control their dependancy, which can be dangerous if not controlled but very useful if understood. Its run by the older people on the island-no one else is allowed. Various stages of the story have involved them all having orgies during high tid! e, or being really sick at New Moon, being telepathic, being really cultish and ritualistic, and all sorts of other things... I wonder why I make these up, why I remember then. Sometimes I spend whole days pretty much only thinking about them. Sometimes I don't think about them for weeks. I think they're really interesting, but why do they exist? Well, I'd write something more relivant but I've got to go shower, Love, Rachel Grapenut +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: meaningless.you mean it's all been meaningless?
by Danny Farrell 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

Hi lovelies, I'm damaged bad at best she'll decide what she wants i'll probably be the last to know no-one says until it shows It's 8AM - All pretense at that whole sleep thing is given up,i look down,alan's on my floor.odd is it sunday?Oh bugger it's monday,i gather my barely done homework.i kick the scattered cd's around to find my clothes,a case snaps.i sit down,it lights up.i black out.i wake.i have 28 emails,i don't have time to read them. don't wimp out on me i know you've got the strength of 12 oxen i've seen you get through these things before just like you've seen me get through these things before it's 10 AM - I loose my footing in the shower.i get dizzy.i'm okay,i'm an energy drink connoseiur.dynamite this time.alans up now,on my pc.i smell good.i've showered.he's supposed to be working.he's swooning over e-mails.i laugh.i leave i want the world to leave us in peace i'd give up all my selfish little dreams to be in hers it's 10:30 AM - i'm with Derek MAN 'friend', i'm at the train station.i get dizzy,i lose my footing,i almost fall.i don't.derek laughs,"fucking stupit sleep more poofy bastard danny".thanks for the advice.i get on the train,i sit.flannery has a crush on adam.i adore flannery basically. i look up, cute-girl-who-was-at-school-with-me-the-year-below is in the next carriage,she keeps glancing round the little alcove thing surreptitiously,i giggle to myself.flannery is at a party,there's wine.she looks again.i wink at her,she giggles and looks at her shoes,her friend growls.ah well,i never liked the friend anyway.the pary was good.the train stopped these things they go away replaced by everyday..... i'm pining for the moon what if there were two side by side in orbit around the fairer sun? it's 11:45 am - i'm smoking outside the library.it's good.i'm waiting.she appears.i hand over £20 and she gives me the large parcel.a book.i nervously peer inside the bag.cost accounting 10.required reading.i try to sleep in the library.i fail.i read my messages.awwww she called me dannypie.i hug myself right in the middle of the library it's 12 pm - i'm in the lab's.derek's shouting at me for not having done homework.i tell him i wasn't sure what day it was.he laughs at me,makes a disparaging remark.the usual.cute-pigtailed-accounting-girl smiles at me,i wink.she giggles.she maybe goes to talk,i put my head on the desk.i'm on #sini,i think people are there,i maybe talked. i once had a girl or should i say she once had me it's 1pm - cost accounting.i have a moment.we're on ethics.we get asked if building a temple for natives to be allowed to mine for oil is a bribe or if it's not is it wrong.raise hands.a class of twenty.i raise my hand for the bribe,for the wrong.i try to explain,if they were going round building temples for the natives out of kindness that would be wonderful,but it's no different from giving the mafia money to build a church or something.it's just wrong.wow we built a temple,not because we're good but because we need to.not charity.i get funny looks.derek elbows me,fucking weirdo danny.the lecturer,he laughs apparently he likes my spiritidness. here it is:revenge to the tune "you're no good you're no good you're no good" it's pixie-girl time: pixie-girl-who-may-just-be-someone-not-destined-for-accounting gazes at me and grins,gives me a little mock clap.i grin sheepishly and shake my hair.she blushes.i gaze at my shoes.derek elbows me.it ends.derek storms out.i laze for a while as usual.i go to walk out.pixie-girl looks at me "nice speech",i want to tell her that i knew she wanted to raise her hand too and she should have,i want to tell her she's as cute as a wee button,i want to say something,anything just not "thanks".i say thanks,i shake my hair a little,she giggles a little,i want to tell her i'm awfully tired and have terrible stomach cramps,to apologise for saying just thanks,i just stand there,she doesn't seem to mind,derek stands at the door and growls at me,i want to,at the very least, tell her i'll speak to her soon or something,anything,instead i say bye and rush off,or the closest i can come to rushing. derek shouts at me for keeping him late,i look back,she smiles at me.i smile.to myself. i have my suspicions when the stars are in position all will be revealed but i know until then,unless the stars surrender,all will be concealed its 2pm - i have classes till five,derek shouts at me for keeping us late,i want to explain to him,the mix of illness and pixies.i start the illness bit,he calls me a poofy bastard.i don't know how being gay relates to me being ill except i'm not and i am,maybe it's an inverse relationship.he marches off to class expecting me to rush to catch up to stop being a poofy bastard.i light up a cigarette.i go shopping.i go home. come pick me up,take me out,fuck me up.steal my records i've been accused of lining women up,one after another after another.a gaggle of women.i would reply i wish i had the ability to do that,but i don't,i don't wish that and i don't reply that. i tell them they obviously don't know me because that statement is FALSE.maybe i'll tell them that on the falsity scale of 1 to FALSE that statement almost drops off the right hand edge.generally i'm the one being hurt and for some reason someone wants to pick up the pieces and i let them.i hope this isn't a terrible fault. i should say hello to someone.so: hello. there are people who i've never said hello to but i just know i'd get on great with them. there are people i do say hello to that i don't get on with.there are people i say hello to i should get on a lot better with. maybe there's even someone i'd like to "get it on" with.i hope to god for their sake there isn't. if i don't write back for a while it's because i'm trying to 'participate' but don't worry about me,i'll be okay,or i will be soon enough your lonely and ill but ever hopeful dannypie xxx don't be sad,don't be sad we don't have to live this way forever don't be sad,don't be sad (fade out) _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Can't think of a clever title & going to miss the bus!
by Rebecca Wright 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

Here be I, back from Brighton safe & sound! Thanks to all who watched over me, hopefully my 'eager to please but not quite sure how' puppy-dog attitude'll be house trained into a glossy coated Sinister collie in time. Bit that I'll remember most, probably the sunset over the West Pier with 3 for £10 bottles of red toasting Princess Margaret- in heaven may all her baths be tepid. Also James sustaining injuries from a stationary Vauxhall and Ken curled up foetal like from laughter on the beach though I'll say no more for Mark's sake (good luck Thursday!, I'll be on the look out for a girl/vendingmachine hybrid) Archel, I'm ashamed to say my Mum had you down as some dark cult's high priestess when I first mentioned my plans of attending the meet-up. However your Audrey Hepburn photos and ability to entice Macy Gray to do triple somersaults on a snowboard just adds to the lovely smutty halo everyone's crowned you with (even though we can't control a dodgem between us, number of times BenApps slipped past our careering car tskk!). With the B&S-Eastenders links did we miss out Jim? Betrothed to Dot Cotton and hero of '3..6..9', or even his university pseudo-name 'Arthur'? Someone who was paying more attention should record the final list for prosperity's sake. Kay, I'm apologising in advance. If I was a better person I'd be in Oxford tonight listening to your band but I'm tired and suspect laziness & Big Train will be too tempting a mix. Still I hope it goes really well for you, the more tenacious party-goers who travelled up can report back on how great it was. Bye now I'm off home Becky xx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: MBV remix
by John Oliver 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

Hi, I got this from the My Bloody Valentine ( my other favourite band) mailing list. Bye, John -----Original Message----- From: owner-mbv(a)atwood.netch.se [mailto:owner-mbv@atwood.netch.se]On Behalf Of o-o-o Sent: 11 February 2002 04:31 To: mbv(a)netch.se Subject: [mbv] is it wicked not to care - remix? trolling audiogalaxy and I came across an mp3 billed as an MBV remix of belle & sebastian's is it wicked not to care? it sounds like a whole lot of overdriven feedback, yet it does have some hints of melody. I doubt its authenticity, but judge for yourself: http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/gruisinger/vwp2?.tok=bcFq0MPBNl8aEBH7&.dir=/mi sc/music&.dnm=B%26S_MBV_remix&.src=bc you'll have to rename it and add the .mp3 extension on the end after you download it, sorry. _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: storytelling traumatized me
by miss maple 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

hello All-- i saw storytelling last night. wow... the first part was very graphic and err...sexual...i think myself and everybody else in the theatre felt awkward during the first part of the movie. the second half i really liked. actually i liked the whole movie, i just think that it couldve proven the same point about social classes, racism, sex etc. in a less fudged-up way. anyways, THE WHOLE MOVIE MADE MY LIFE LOOK PEACHY, COMPARED TO THE CHARACTERS' LIVES. i guess that mightve been one of the things todd solondz was trying to show us. but i dont understand why belle and sebastian chose to do the music to a movie like that one. id think theyd do the soundtrack to a movie about unicorns or something. hmmm... well i gotta go... have a good day, night, and life everyone. and to my sister if you read this, i hope you feel better. i know, for you, "its been a bloody stupid day." Au revoir, Maple _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: dodgems, ddr, drink and drowning
by Rachel Playforth 11 Feb '02

11 Feb '02

well, it's sunday afternoon and the last of the sinister troops have departed, leaving me to gather my thoughts and nurse the remains of my hangover with cranberry juice and belle and sebastian softly on the stereo. before i go into proper reporting back, let it be known that i had a BLOODY WONDERFUL time. sinister just makes my life better and better (and i don't care if that makes me a bedroom saddo). anyway... i met the sinister express on saturday afternoon, on which were travelling: mark 'waterbaby' casarotto, ben 'captain sensible' apps, mark '2nd time around' hester, lucy 'hungover' alder, becky 'girl racer' wright, james 'flat cap' danson hatcher and cay 'neds no middle name' cola cube. meanwhile, the slightly less crowded sinister express from portsmouth had already delivered 'handsome' robster. i led everyone swiftly to the pub, where we monopolised the covered garden and were soon joined by peter 'waving' carter, ken 'cutiepie' chu and liz 'classy bird' daplyn. there was drink, there was writing in sugar, there was bafflement over the exotic vegetarian menu (this is brighton after all, dahling.) speaking of which... we left the pub and went to the off-licence (trying to keep the time between alcoholic beverages to a minumum) and at that point a certain stacey 'aw shit' shackford phoned to announce the arrival of her, paul and maddie 'beach babe' mcneil. our company now complete, we did the obvious and sat shivering on the beach, drinking wine out of the plastic flutes so thoughtfully provided by liz. there was a beautiful sunset, and we enjoyed the surroundings like adults by playing chicken with the incoming tide (of which more later....) when the arses really did begin to freeze we left for the bright lights of the pier, and - guess what - the DDR machine. cay, lucy and becky all made energetic attempts, but no-one could touch the master (though ken later confided that he actually has nightmares about not being able to 'perform'). elsewhere, mark c (mark h had to leave around this point) managed to win a rubber after spending a mere 3 pounds. we then proceeded to the dodgems, and had a brief but exhilerating sinister-only battle in which becky and i demonstrated particularly stylish/dangerous driving skills, i thought. most of us were now feeling the effects of alcohol, but a small crazy faction still felt the need to go on a very fast ride and squeal entertainingly like they were in a tourist board film. oh, and an even smaller faction braved the temptingly titled 'pork on chips'. by this time we were ready to sit down, so naturally we went to another pub. i can't remember much of what happened then, apart from getting a lovely present from stacey and maddie (who are incidentally both TOP LASSES). though we sadly lost them (not literally) to the last train home, along with cay and rob. finally the remaining party animals came back to my flat, and we made a brief, badly spelt appearance on #sinister before relapsing into a drunken orgy/playstation session/quiet appreciation of some nice music (delete as believable). although tempted to continue the 4 in a bed romp i started with mark, lucy and becky, i eventually lurched off to my own room, leaving a total of 8 prone bodies in varying degrees of comfort on my living room floor. miraculously they were all still alive and able to move this morning, although mark had acquired a suspicious back injury... we walked down to the sea again to the only 24 hour greasy spoon big enough to hold all of us, and ate various permutations of cholesterol. refreshed, we then hit the beach and wandered down to a calm, innocent-looking sea for another game of chicken. and then, the Best Bit Of The Whole Weekend, and i just have to use upper case for this: WHILE RUNNING FROM A BIG WAVE MARK CASAROTTO FELL FLAT ON HIS FACE IN THE SEA! it was quite possibly the funniest thing i've ever seen, ever. and we laughed all the way to h&m where mark bought some dry trousers, to office where he bought dry shoes, and to marks and spencer where he bought dry socks. i'm actually still laughing, and at one point i thought ken was going to be in real danger of choking. (don't try this at home kids, falling in the sea carries a real danger of drowning or pneumonia and should only be attempted by trained professionals, although if you want to give your friends a laugh, then go ahead.) (there was then a bizarre incident in marks & spencers where an unknown force compelled ken, ben, james AND peter to all buy hats. ken: soft and woolly, ben: floppy and corduroy, james: an oddly perfect flat cap, peter: indescribable. there is photographic evidence, however.) once mark was dry and the rest of us had stopped pissing ourselves, we went cd shopping, had coffee, and discussed mark's extremely disturbing dreams and my mythical vibrator. that's about it really. i waved them off like a fond mother, and came home to shake n vac the carpet... i'm sure there will be other posts to fill in the gaps and emphasise all the embarrassing things i said/did, so i'll sign off now, but not before inviting everyone to the next picnic (in summer this time). see you then! luv archel xxx ps. WHILE RUNNING FROM A BIG WAVE MARK CASAROTTO FELL FLAT ON HIS FACE IN THE SEA! *************************************** Rachel Playforth buzzwords(a)bigfoot.com Visit www.buzzwords.ndo.co.uk for the best new writing on the web. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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