February 2002 - Sinister

Sinister: le pastie de la bougainvillaea
by michelle ruiz 05 Feb '02

05 Feb '02

and how are we feeling today A computer at our uni labs had a wallpaper on it that said 'Experience it yourself! DUBAI' The picture was very pretty but I didn't know where Dubai was. So like a good girl I decided to research it. So for those who were unaware like myself... I give you ~DUBAI~ - 2nd largest city in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), not the capital -is also known as 'the city of merchants' - their currency is the dirham -temps can range from 10.5 C/50 F to 48 C/118 F -they have a beautiful red flowering tree there called the bougainvillaea. (no, I can't say it either.) - their version of the gondola is called an Abra. - they have amazing modern architecture that is modeled after Bedouin tents.(I've seen pictures and oh it's nice) - a dessert specialty they have is called Mehalabiya, which is pudding topped with pistachios and rose water. (sounds divine to me) - Dubai Zoo has the world's only captive colony of breeding Socotra Cormorants (Save the Cormorant!) So there you have it. Won't your friends be so impressed at your new knowledge! I hope so. And tell them I say hi. Yes, Chicago is covered in snow right now. People are making a big commotion over it. I don't see why, it's Winter-it snows. I keep thinking of that nick cave song where he sounds like he's about to have a heart attack saying 'we're under fifteen feet of pure white snow!!!!!!' or something like that. Really nick, calm down. I sort of missed the snow. Nature can change the scenery of the entire city in one night, which is pretty amazing when you look at the big powdered sugary picture. Everything seems quiet, too, when it's covered in snow. Something busy can be hushed by snow. Snow is good. (except of course if you're a caucasian rapper.) experience it yourself xx michelle xx http://www.dubaicityguide.com __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I've been beat up, I've been thrown down, but I'M NOT DOWN
by Matthew Henderson 05 Feb '02

05 Feb '02

Hello sinister, The most depressing thing in life is hopelesness. The thought that there is no way out. That it won't end. I can take on a lot of things, as long as I know they will end. I've been drowning in hopelesness for some strange reason for weeks now. Hope is usually the only way I can make it through the day with a smile on my face. And, well, I haven't really been smiling very much recently. Everything has an opposite. Every coin has a flip-side. Some people hate to think of when good things end. I remember when I went out with a girl a few years ago, I was very sad because I knew it would end. It had to. I was having so much fun. but it was high school. And those things have a way of ending. In december, I was in Glasgow and Belfast. I knew they would end. I still had a blast, but I knew, back in my mind, they would end. Why was I letting this thought beat down my good times, but not lift up the bad times? If all good things come to an end, surely all bad things do to? I think the key to beating depression is finding that end, or at least knowing it's out there. I found my end. I know it will end. All of this. It's going to end. And relatively soon. And there is the possibility it will get better. People will still annoy me, I'll still be bored all the time, school will still worry me, but only now, it's going to be a little easier. There will be this nice, warm glow surrounding everything. All the pain and sorrow won't be so bad, because there seems to be a voice whispering in my ear "it's almost over. don't worry. something new will come along." Thank fucking Christ. It's almost over. Keep your hopes up kids, -Matt _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: meet me in ..... michigan?
by amy.longcore＠ch.novartis.com 05 Feb '02

05 Feb '02

midwest meetup. yum! i've left the plans for this so open and sketchy because i've wanted to gauge how many people would be interested/how far they are willing to go. (first base on the first date for me! hee) how far people are willing to travel for this, i mean. so, yeah. some of you have discussed it with me in #sinister. no one has emailed with ideas or anything... so i'm left wondering. do i go ahead and plan something and just hope for the best? or. do i keep waiting and seeing? i'm going to keep waiting and seeing for a good month, atleast. for, you see, as i've mentioned in the past, i'd quite like to sell my home and get the eff out of dodge. i'd hate for my home to sell the very week y'all are coming. see what i mean? time is needed for definates. i've been thinking independance day weekend would be good for the meet up. more people are likely to have that thursday/friday off of work. or, do you think that would hinder people from coming 'cuz they may have familial engagements? who actually spends time wiff their family for 4th of july anyway? hmmmm i'm looking for quantity as well as quality here. bring all your friends, your friends' bands, and aunts and uncles too. i want mass summer sini fun! ok. there's an update. cats pjs is love. so are a lot of other people. write me. *smooch* amy +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2002 15:12:55 -0000
by Doyle Patrick 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

Hello, iam re-subscribing just to do this post as i got caught by my school using sinister and therefore cannot subscribe-longterm again ooooooppss!!! Thought you might like to hear about the funny thing that happened at school a few days ago. In PE the student teacher noticed i was wearing the "russian dolls" T-shirt and decided to try and be cool by pointing out that "they new who they were!" "they're from the 70s aren't they?" he said "No"i said "80's?" "No" "yes hey are, my mum likes them, one of them has curly hair right??" "i think you'll find that's Simon and Garfunkel" I said "oh yeah,,,,,,,is that not the same band then??" mmmmmm awell, i thought it was funny anyways,,,,,any1 going to the Edinburgh Usher Hall gig o the 1st of April,,,if so get, in touch,,,,see you all there anyway Laters Patrick, the kid with the crimped and overheated hair +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: oh the longest nights and longer days of youth
by caleb ben moore 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

hello sinisters! sounds like you all are doing quite well. thats good. i'm well too. my life is basically very nice. i have a lovely family, a beautiful woman who loves me, loads of ace cd's to listen to, a few extra bucks for a 40oz bottle of refreshment, and some tasty couscous ready to eat at home. so yeah, its all cherry. and it sounds like all you UK folk will soon be having a bit of a treasure hunt! that will be fun.......it reminds me of "willy wonka and the chocolate factory" and the contest to see who can find the golden tickets. i love that film. i've been listening to "beautiful" alot today, and its got me in a sort of melancholic-sentimental mood. and that of course is not a bad thing, its a mood i quite like at times. sometimes it feels good to hear a song like that. suddenly i'm catapulted back through time to my junior high school years. i got pushed around and threatened at school all day and i would come home and cry into my pillow and listen to morrissey whilst reading those biblical scriptures about God comforting those crushed in spirit. and even then, i sort of looked at the whole situation from outside myself, and i realized that it was quite a lovely, sad picture. i realized that i was just playing that particular part in the film of life, and that soon i'd play a different role. fastforward 10 years and i'm here, in an office 10 stories up, staring at a screen, writing my feelings out to over 1500 people, most of whom know nothing of me. mind you, i am NOT feeling crushed in spirit at all, just a tad reflective. yeah......its good to reflect sometimes. ---caleb ben ===== "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." ~Plato "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The time has come
by LilGrape25＠aol.com 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

And again I rise from lurking pits, has anyone missed me? most probably not. I spend a lot of time at school lurking as well, wandering around with not enough time to do anything really, so I just wander to make myself look busy. From the computer lab to the bathroom to the cafeteria to the deans office, sometimes just wandering around in circles, humming music to myself or, before my headphones broke, listening to music. I should get new headphones. Sometimes I really appreciate being alone, it is, most often, by choice..there are people I could sit with and talk to and pretend to be interested in, but I don't want to. On good days I have long enough chunks of time that I can go and paint. Alone too, but happy. Today, though, I am truely lonely. But still, I don't want to talk to anyone, I do not want to speak. Don't you ever feel like you are sad, and theres nothing that we can do about it, so you might as well find content in your sadness? Its definately one of those days. I'm not going to be happy, but thats okay. I think I'll go see if ! there are any more brownies in the cafeteria. Another question to pose: what exactly is "list abuse"? Yes, I know the technical definiton, but why must we all make up something about belle and sebastian for every post, when everyone knows that it is not really the belle and sebastian related content that makes the list so worthwhile. List abuse is writing someone a personal message, trying to find a roomate or a ride to such and such town or other place..but not necisarily talking about things that don't relate to belle and sebastian, don't you agree? love, Rachel Grapenut +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Nice Day For a Sulk
by Kate Keenan 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

Hi Sinister, I just got all inspired by James Gilmer's terrific post and I want to add my two philosophical cents worth on happiness/sadness and zen things: I think James is so right when he says that "we aren't our pain. We aren't our sadness or our shyness or even our happiness." And also, "But you don't realize you can take the glasses off. That you're not your loneliness and you're not your sadness or any of that." But I've struggled a lot with the fact that I may know that my mood is self-imposed but I still can't seem to fucking get rid of it at times. I thought it was a lack of willpower on my part. Or lack of true desire to get rid of it. So that added guilt to powerlessness to the original mood and just made matters worse. I read a book about a type of Zen practice called Shambhala. Now, I'm loathe to try to be an expert on it to 1500 strangers but from what I gather, it's a secular type of Buddism. Anyway, I don't know much about zen at all but from what I learned about Shambhala it's not about detatchment so much (or "sitting on a mountain and staring at your belly button" which I never really understood about zen practice, myself.) but about totally being here in the world, not above or outside of the world at all. The part about it that I agree with the most is its suggestion that moods are moods. You will get them. They are like the weather. When you meditate you will think about your grocery list or have a bitchy thought. Even if you understand that you needn't be unhappy, you will get depressed and caught up in silly things from time to time. Once you think you are beyond impure thoughts and feelings, you're in big trouble. That's delusion. You can't beat yourself up over your moods. That's just more nasty energy. You have to have a light touch and a sense of humour about the whole thing. You've got to love yourself (sorry for the corniness) and love that you're such a loser. Be there in your failure to be a perfect person. Stick with yourself. Don't try to disown yourself like a friend you're ashamed of being seen with by the cool kids. Don't repress your moods but don't let them carry you away either. Ride them out like a tree in a storm. (think Tree Lullaby, if you were hoping for some content in this post) They can touch you and shake you - in fact it's BEST if they touch you. You're living in this world after all. You might as well experience it fully. Take everything as an opportunity to feel things more deeply. Be curious. This is not to say mope and wallow. Don't hang onto a mood or use it to thwack in other people's faces. Don't hide out in a mood or let it define you. But admit that you're feeling it. Don't be ashamed to feel it. As soon as you get the strength to open up within a mood, the strength to break free of it will naturally follow. Anyway, that's what Shambhala suggests and I've never read a philosophy that suited me more. One more thing: When my dad died, a friend of mine gave me a piece of paper with a story on it he'd written about a King whose son goes away to fight and never ever returns. The King is distraught and nothing will console him. The people try everything they can think of but nothing will lift the King's sorrow. One day an old man turns up and gives him a ring engraved with four words. He tells the King that these four words have the power to make sad people happy and happy people sad. That was the end of the story. Then my friend gave me a box. Inside was a ring engraved with the words "This too shall pass". The ring catched my attention in little silver flashes in my saddest and happiest moments. It's a good reminder and a good wake up call. Love, Kate +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Shit could have been still savourier
by Kenneth P Y Chu 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

Hello, De-lurk time, actaully, does not posting for a week count as lurking? Well well, I see that my temporary halt in posting had resulted in the average seriousness of a sinister post being rocketed ten-folds - with posts about life! and love! and decisions! and things! and goodness me, B&S contents that aren't made up! It's time to get to work, I think. However, I took great solace in Gordon's last post, because he talked about shit on rail tracks - that's more like it. Another thing that was nice to read was that Mr Jeremy Tweedle has now a new home! And speaking of Mr Tweedle himself... Whereever I go, I always seem to hear debates about whether "David Bowie" is pronunced "David Bowl-wee" or "David B-ow-wee", and I have figured it out the other day that it is indeed the latter. For no-one without a last name such as "Bowel-wee" would be able to come up with the scatological contents that seem to fill up the abdomen of the song "Space Oddity"... "and I'm floating in the most peculiar way, and the 'star' looks very different today. For heeeere am I floating round my tin can, far above the 'moon' planet earth is blue and there's nothing i can do" ... this poetic monologue from the eyes of a floater are quite disturbingly some of the most beautiful words ever written. It is almost as good as that song by the Cranberries about breaking aromatic wind called "linger". Mark C mentioned farting in his last post, and also stated that I was being simultaneously modest and arrogant, in parallel. Does that make me an oxymoron? Or just oxy? hmm, yes. And speaking of morons, has anyone else already worked out Belle and Sebastian's plans for their UK gig in Edinburgh? It doesn't take a fool to work out that at the Edinburgh gig they are going to play the following songs. - It could have been a brilliant career - Mayfly - Photo Jenny - Family Tree - We rule the school - A century of fakers* - Don't leave the light on baby* - The state I'm in* - String Bean Jean* - I could be dreaming+ WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON KEN? Some of you may ask, but when Stuart sings the lyrics to these songs come April 1st at the gig, you too would start giggling like a fool. -> talked about poo -> made up fake b&s contents -> avoided any kind of useful information/rational thoughts My work here is done. Fools and Red Bulls Ken * stupid + moron _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: you never did like the way the world stretched out
by lindsey baker 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

hello sinister. this past week, i got snowed in and discovered why my college radio station is such, and why it isn't so bad after all. i wanted to know if classes were cancelled, and turning on old krnu, i happened upon the middle of 'i love my car.' i don't think i was ever more proud of my university. the song was apparently preceeded by radiohead and followed by superchunk, and has earned itself the heady position of alarm clock radio setting. so this morning i woke up to now it's overhead, and fell out of bed, again with happiness. i have spent part of the afternoon looking at various internet homes of various bands i like (hmmm...i feel geeky about that) and spent [art of that time perusing through various band diary entries. tour diaries, to be specific, because of late i have become increasingly obsessed with what, exactly, a band does on tour. i think i am both grateful for my stationary life and jealous of a mobile one. maybe i just miss him. the fortune in my fortune cookie tonight said my love of life would carry me through any circumstance, and for once, i think it might be true. i have wondered what it would be like to keep a real, i suppose, non-tour diary many times in my life, and have often tried to do the deed but to no avail. i remember in elementary school i had a pick diary with ballet shoes on the cover. and i filled the pastel pages with my dreams, mostly of boys (hmmm..still doing that) and whatnot. in fifth grade, i taped the valentine i got from my first boyfriend to the inside of the back cover, so i wouldn't lose it. and i kept the book underneath my mattress, as i knew girls were supposed to hide diaries in such appropriate places. but i never finished a diary, and i think maybe it is because i grow bored with the process of writing down what i do every day. odd, because i can read other people's daily activities and thoughts on those activites and compare and contrast them with my own life, thus living vicariously to some extent. and in a way, sinister is a bit like a diary for me, each post an entry to a hidden book. but then it gets discovered by mummy, and everybody reads it. maybe i have an anne frank complex. does that exist? you go through the motions of every day, and hope they're interesting to someone. because they probably are only minimally interesting to yourself. sunday, february 3, 2002. got home this morning at 3 a.m. after a newspaper party. had an illegal bottle of vodka in my possession, and discovered that i had actually drunk all of the missing amount and that the remaining amount was in a bottle too large to fit in any of my kitchen cabinets. not thinking my roomie would be too happy to discover illegal booze in our abode, i stashed the bottle on the top shelf of my closet and decided i would break it out again on one or both of the following occasions: mandee and kirsten hit nebraska and the homecoming of the boy. brushed my teeth and went to bed. woke up at 9:45 a.m. to now it's overhead. turned off the radio and got up at 1 p.m. showered and completed the arduous, hour-long process of Getting Ready. went to the bank. paid credit card bill one day late. got dropped off at the newspaper as my own car was in an accident yesterday and is now not so drivable. have been here ever since, reading tour diaries and saying goodbye to my now it's overhead addiction and hello to my superchunk addiction. not so cool. or interesting. it's the added bits of diaries that are interesting (or maybe just the almost sleazy bits). it's the stuff in between, i think, that makes the writing down of events worth the while. the saying that today wasn't boring because in between the mundane stuff i realized again that i am not alone anymore. and that i never really was. i am connected to more people than i can count on both hands, and one in particular resides everywhere even when he isn't here. everything this week has reminded me of something else, someone else, and i like it that way. i like it that when i wake up to a certain song i think of a day or an event or a smell or a sound, and the moments of each day become weighted with meaning. the bottle of vodka will always be a party or a person or two and the first bottle of booze ever to reside in my apartment. the boy will always be the superchunk will always be the radio will always be the snow day will always be the unexpected b&s will always be sinister. i like that. maybe i don't need to roam around after all. love and tour vans, your lindseylou _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: it's a barnum and bailey world
by Kirsten Kenyon 04 Feb '02

04 Feb '02

to stay inside today would have been to sin. i've been told that "to sin" is "to miss the mark," and while i'm unsure as to the consequences that may befall the archer whose arrow is embedded in the brush, i decided not to take any chances. i rolled out of bed relatively early and was sitting on my footboard, enjoying the sunday morning public radio and cheerfully applying a layer of red lipstick, when the door creaked. "ohmygod, kirsten. you're completely stuck in the forties." i peered at my sister over the rims of my glasses. she was leaning against the doorframe, cradling our sweet little sophie in one hand (yes, she can be held in one hand) and adjusting her perfect blonde hair with the other. i didn't see how i could be "stuck" anywhere except where i was, and i told her so. she shook her head. "you were born in the eighties. you made it into the nineties, like everyone else. then you slid back into the sixties, and now...well, look at what you're wearing. what's next, a powdered wig?" i stuck out my tongue and threw a pillow. there really wasn't anything else to do. my sister laughed and disappeared, and soon my radio was drowned by the rentals. i sighed. oh well. i was supposed to go out today, anyway. i grabbed my hat and my handbag and a stack of books and took my seat behind the wheel. the sun glared at me, reflecting off the shiny steel cylinders of the brewery as i sped over the bridge. i donned my large, black sunglasses, a recent purchase from an overpriced vintage shop, and smiled. i must have looked like i was en route to some sort of james bond-themed superbowl party. i've been looking for a book. "egalia's daughters," written by a gerd brantenberg, first published in 1941. it's required reading for an anthropology course i'm taking, and the campus bookstore has been of no help whatsoever. i've called every bookshop in the greater milwaukee area, save a handful of dusty corner shops with names like "jezebel's oracle." i called all of the waukesha county libraries, too, and found nothing. so today, as a last resort, i parked outside milwaukee's central library and resolved to spend the afternoon reading in a quiet corner. if the book was there, i wouldn't be able to check it out because i'm no longer a resident of milwaukee county. central library is something of a marvel...a great, white, domed structure nestled amongst towering cathedrals and run-down hotels. i pushed on the heavy wooden door and stepped inside. the walls, the floor, the stairs, the ceiling, all constructed of a rich, caramel- swirled marble...i felt like i was standing in a bucket of ice cream. i mean, i wasn't cold, and my feet weren't sticking to the floor, but...bah. you know. so...egalia's daughters. it was there, of course. the card inside the front cover indicated that nobody has checked it out since it was shelved in 1984. i hugged the lonely book to my chest and found a vacant table near a window, and summoned all of my motivation to read the entire novel in the hour and thirteen minutes before the library closed. i had covered roughly seventy-two pages when i was disturbed by a loudly-whispered conversation several feet away. "fuckin hell! i haven't touched a rock in a week, and i've been off the smack for two days now!" "lies, man. if you'd been off the smack for two days, you wouldn't be sitting there grinning like a fuckin asshole." despite my best efforts, i glanced up from the explicit sex scene i'd been contentedly absorbing. two skinny men in dirty jackets were seated at the next table. one was hunched over on his elbows, spitting profanities at the other, who was balancing his chair on the rear two legs and staring at the wall. i must have been looking for longer than i'd intended, because i suddenly found that the one who'd been gazing at the wall was now looking me straight in the eyes. his mouth twisted into an ugly smirk, and he mouthed something at me and licked his thin lips. the other was still mouthing off. i scowled, then shuddered and gathered up my belongings, returned the book to the shelf, and marched towards the door, my heels clattering over the cold marble. only seventy-two pages. it looks like i'll be placing an order at amazon. it's six thirty on a sunday night, and i have an essay due tomorrow. before i go to bed, i must read the second half of "motiba's tattoos" and two chapters of my history textbook, then regurgitate the information into three to five pages, stapled together with my name in the upper right-hand corner. i haven't posted in awhile. this was boring. apologies. love kirsten Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. 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