>>What a coincidence! I mean, what are the odds? Christopher Leonard >knows
Mitchell Fraser! A person with two christian names and no >surname
>>knows a person with two surnames and no christian name! And >to top it all,
>>they're both romantically involved with Keith!
Hmm. Very perceptive of you Admiral Miller. How young Mitchell and
I used to laugh and laugh at our comedy names, often to the point of
peeing. We often went to the dancing and impressed the ladies simply by
saying our names out loud, in turn. Those were the days I tell you.
For 4 years we were voted "The people of Glasgow's favourite
entertainers", on the strength of our names alone.
But all good things must come to an end, and ours came when I left to
fight in 'Nam. The bitch said he'd stay faithful to me, but when I came
back 6 months later I found him working the circuits with Kenneth
Thomas!
I became an alcoholic and died. A few weeks later I got better and
became a professional body-popper.
Keith, say "hello Mitchell!". Thanks.
>>And a funny website, just like Roddd's to boot! Is it still up and running,
>>Chris? If not, can you remember any of the jokes? It would be nice to >have
>>a funny website showdown between yourself and Rodddd, wouldn't >it?
Ahh yes. I'm becoming a little misty eyed now, don't you know. It
wasn't flash but it had soul I tell you. I had an adventure game called
"The House Of Brett" which I recently considered resurrecting. You can
see how far I got at http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~calnd/Brett/ .
I warn you, I only managed one page then I got bored with it.
Keith, steep in a hot bath.
(Keith is a romance icon in the indie world. Sort of Fabio in a hair
>clip, if you will.)
>>B&S dreamtime:
I had a dream about the Spice Girls last night. It was really good!
B&S Content
==========
Bit of a downer that I missed that "Don't Look Down".
Slow Graffiti is dead good, so there.
Fond Regards,
Christopher Alexander Leonard
>
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I paused for the required amount of time before sending, I really did.
Honest. Apologies to anyone offended, in advance. I just couldn't resist
passing it on once it arrived.
Horoscopes
Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great
deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone
thinks you are a fucking jerk.
Pisces (Feb 23- Mar 22)
You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to
reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off
everyone
you come in contact with. You are a prick.
Aries (Mar 23 - April 22)
You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI
or
CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for
flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
Taurus (April 23- May 22)
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work
like
hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but
a goddamned communist.
Gemini (May 23- June 22)
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are
bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you
are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
Cancer (June 23- July 22)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes
you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always
be
on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos
are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is
disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more
than sex.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is
sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and
often
fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If
you
are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain
are
nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)
You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted.
You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of
ethics.
You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
Sagittarius (Nov 23- Dec 22)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on
your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks.
You are a worthless piece of shit.
Capricorn (Dec 23- Jan 22)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically
chickenshit.
There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.
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Ahhhh!
Just finished typing up my very important, if you don't pass this we chuck
you out, essay, whos progress was somewhat hampered today by edinburgh
university library catching fire, no seriously it did , at about half 12
so I wandered of home listening to my tape of arab strap off the radio
last night, only to suffer at the hands, or rather tongue of my dog, who
likes to make things wet when you are trying to work.
The strange thing is i have been in 2 university libraries in my life and
both of them have been evacuated coz of fires.
Anyway, it really is lovely the way that all the edinburgh folk seem to be
posting now, it must be the weather.
Colin Campbell, from edinburgh, but studying medicine in aberdeen, 19
years old, likes to wear blue, pisces march 15. Prefers dark chocolate.
drinks lots of coffee doesn't get enough sleep, is frequently too drunk.
bye
oh yeh, a guy i went to school with's brother had the proclaimers on his
paper round.
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Hello sweeties...
Yess yes yes type that Arab Strap interview up! I finally got to listen to
them a couple days ago..I couldn't stop doing lobster dance and going 'eets
offeeecialy summmah!' But they aren't that naughty are they? I mean 'corn
was funny,i hope you were joking' ???
that VOICE!! Rrrrrrrrrrowwwww (spesh that 'honest with ye' bit)
How come everyone but me is either out kissing/drinking/going to see them?
I want to go out drinking with Arab Strap.
But I can tell the difference in dreams when I listen to them compare to
B&S..whenever I listen to B&S Stuart Murdoch always appear and spiritual
guide in a lumberjack shirt,where with Arab Strap I dream as a joke I'd
sneak up on my friend in the dark and surprise her and instead of her
thinking it was funny,she snapped her fingers and 2 guys in scary masks
appear and tied my legs together and my arms together and tied me to a
tree..oh it sounds dumb now but at the time it was VERY scary I was like 'No
no not the highest branch,it'll break off and I'll fall!'
oh you talk about B&S moments,I had one today1...well I was actually reading
a book,on the bus and errrrrh...I had to sit with '1+1= Truckpull'
boy...Hello just because the word 'naked' is in it doesn't mean I have to
hear your pervy hick jokes..(and it's not even 'moo moo buckeroo' it's
MOO,just plain MOO)
And why do they have to grab your leg in order to speak with you? shudder
shudder shudder...
now i have a new thing to do in an english a 'ship wrecked theme' my
'brainstorming' was
"i am alone
on an island
i look to my right
i see
brett anderson
and i am content
palm trees blowing in the wind
please pass the coconuts Stuart
thankyou"
my teacher asked me about the names then he told me i couldn't have any men with
me..damn him!!! I was looking forward to this,yes Neil Codling would build
me a throne and Brett would wave the palm tree branches so i would not get
too hot while I make Stuart David distill the water,and can he object? NO!
or else i'll send my henchmen after him,and record store boy can polish my
nails.And there is many many more,i don't understand what is wrong about
this,but he says i have show survival..but that is...in a way,a very
creative way for me to survive on an island.
one day of sun and the grass has gone from yellowy to a brilliante green!lovely!
smooch,
Genevieve
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>Hi all,
>
>I think we should all be thankful to Andrew for posting the interview. It was a
>curious interview, probably because there wasn't much of an interview
>actually.
Oh heck.....I do suppose he's right.....OK.....Thanks Andrew....How can I
EVER repay you??
beth
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Alan Prior quoth:
>"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!" - Batman
heh heh heh. God I loved that scene. I liked it when they wore Batskivies
when it was cold. I liked to watch batman do his sexy dance. I loved it
when Burt Ward reminded me of Dan Quayle (to look at). I could imagine
Qualye donning the cape and running around cabinet meetings yelling "Holey
underwear, Batman, we've got to stop those pesky Iraqis!" and turning into
his daily disguise as National Guard Putz and crying in the corner. That
was his genius. Hussein would never suspect that it was Quayle all along.
Also, I sat for hours with my friends trying to find blatant sexual
innnuendos in everything they said.
Viva Adam West!
s.s.
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OK, this didn't seem to get through last time I sent it for some reason,
so I'll try again. So sorry if you just got a post apologising for the
non-B&S content of a post you hadn't got yet...
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 1998 21:27:55 +0100 (BST)
From: The Tall Git <skg21(a)hermes.cam.ac.uk>
Cc: B&S mailing list <sinister(a)majordomo.net>
Subject: Oh no, not him back again...
Hello peeps!
Just back from the Easter break, so a few threads to reply to (actually
that's not true, I got back on Tuesday, but it's taken me until now to get
through the 600 postings while I've been away. Someone remind me to
unsubscribe next time...)
I don't think there are any songs that make me cry, however sad they are.
Maybe I'm just hardhearted. The only things that bring tears to my eyes
are happy things; a really good joke, or someone receiveing some really
good news, or somthing like that. I'm sure when England score the winning
goal in the World Cup Final I'll be crying my eyes out... I find sad songs
don't make me miserable, they comfort me (at least the ones which have any
effect on me at all do). Exit Music by Radiohead is a prime example. As
for the happiest song I know, the one that makes me grin inanely has to be
"Looks, Looks, Looks" by Sparks; even though the lyrics are slightly
trajic, the music is just so cheerful I can't help smiling.
Duke, is it your birthday today? If so, have a good one! (not that I don't
want you to have a good one anyway, of course, but you know what I
mean...)
Sarah, can I join in with your cheerleading squad? I need something to
distract me from my finals. I'll need extra-large pompoms though...
Oh yeah, I had another Sinister listee dream about a week ago. But I'm not
saying who, because it would push my sleaze score up ;-}
I was going to send you all an ink polaroid at this point of what I did
over Easter, but my film ran out.
Is the London picnic going ahead in a fortnight? I'll bring a frisbee and
lots of chocolate. I could probably bring a volleyball net & ball as
well if you want... Wish I could get to the Glasgow one, but I'll be in
the Netherlands with a coachload of student korfballers for the weekend,
and probably too drunk to care!
Oh yeah, and has anyone heard the new Superstar album? Is it any good?
Stuart G
(Northy, RIP. ~)
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To attone for my previous completely non-B&S post, here's one that is.
B&S-related, that is, not non-B&S. But you probably guessed that. Oh well.
I would just like to say that I think "Wrong Love" is one of the best
things they've done. A simply beautiful tune, both melody and harmony. I
know other songs have been written in the same vain, but I can't think of
any that have been done better. It's the best song I've heard since "Sleep
The Clock Around" (and "Sleep The Clock Around" is the best thing I've
heard since, well, since last time I listened to it probably; and if it
isn't a top ten single by the end of the year there is no justice in the
world). It's the kind of song I reckon is perfect to fall in love to
(admittedly I don't actually have anyone to fall in love with at the
moment, but if I do ever find my very own cute-record-store-girl I'm sure
I would want to fall in love with her to it).
Having said that, I was disappointed to discover after a few listens to it
that the first line wasn't in fact
"I went looking for McDonald's
I went looking for a sign".
Two questions though:
If Stevie wrote it specially for the session, does that mean it will
probably never be released? Because that would be an awful waste of a good
song.
Also, Steve Lamacq was going on about how they'd managed to fit 7 members
of B&S in the tour bus to record it; so who wasn't there?
Stuart G
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hi all,
no, I don't mean alistair's living room (I wish!), speaking of which let's
have some more details about the jasmine minksesque goings on, shall we?
like for instance, was it jasmine minksesque at all? spill the beans,
somebody.
the paper where I work is hosting the alternative newsweeklies convention
this year, all the city papers in the u.s. are coming to our town for a
hellish four days in june, and I've just ordered three life-size cardboard
stand-ups of the prez, hillary, and newt gingrich for this polaroid thing
we're doing like all the tourists do in front of the white house, except it
won't be in front of the white house and we'll be partaking of an open bar
at the time. do we have fun in dc or what? don't answer that. I've got a
catalog here in front of me, you should see all the people you can order in
the beauty of 2-D cardboard. sorry, #95 sarah martin and #291 stuart
murdoch are out of stock. I tried, I really did try to make this convention
b&s-related.
so we're having a party in mt. pleasant tomorrow night and those in the
dc/maryland/virginia area who didn't get my private message about it (I
know I don't have all of your addresses) please do stop by! there will be
plenty of booze and snacks and your fellow listee dina's band is playing in
the living room along with four other great pop bands that hardly ever play
out! it's all quite exciting. e-mail me at home for directions and info.
have a good weekend, everyone!
pam
plb(a)tiac.net
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Introduction:
Hi, I'm Peter and I'm 29 years of age. Today isn't my birthday, ha ha ha ha
ha ha! I'm a part-time cabaret artiste and translator of tourist
information, which you'll soon all be able to click on on the web. I'll even
have my own little Union Jack! I'm just listening to my favourite piece of
music of all time, a track by Gene Ammons called "Jug Eyes". What a funny
title! I'm also one of the world's leading reggae authorities.
Andy Dean Tribute:
Thanks for sending in that interview, old chap. I've been waiting a long
time to see it. I thought it made entertaining reading, and wasn't as much
of a slagging as I had expected. I mean, the journalist came out of it
looking a lot dafter than the band, whose jokes were well up to standard, at
least round here. Stuart Murdoch must be well chuffed with that line about
leaping into the driver's seat and speeding off round the corner, Bobby
Gillespie would kill for a bit of press like that.
Arab Strap:
There is a review of our second favourite band's new album in the NME. It
sounds suitably rude, and there's a nudie pic of that Aidan bloke on it, and
an ex-girlfriend. I wonder if it's one of the literally thousands of girls
who've written in to the list to tell us all about what it's like to snog
him in Falkirk? Hmmm. Here's the URL, give it a whirl:
http://www.nme.com/soundcellar/reviews/arab.html
Peter
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