- Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: shades of grey
by Youn Noh 14 Feb '02

14 Feb '02

I like how while reading richard john gillander's last post, one has the feeling of being in a drunken haze, but of being alert and sensible at the same time. Arrested by once familiar objects. Matching names to faces. Turning corners with the flair and singlemindedness of a Jordan Baker. Arriving at the right destination. What does it matter if one realizes only afterwards that it is the place to be? A girl called Maryann, whom I admire very much, wrote the following in a comment on the Cramps: "I read last night that a certain sort of art is really just intended as an 'imaginary world', not a slice of life or a philosophical commentary on it, but even in the case of this intense imaginary world, it helps to have touches of reality, like flies biting your leg or whatever, to aid you in your suspension of disbelief." Or dislocated knees. It must have been the fight scenes. >> I went down stairs to go outside for a fag. as will happen on occasion. Or his sense of conviction. (No, don't call it belligerence.) Anyways, the paradox is interesting. Gordon has been living in a black and white world of train stations (et les chanteuses)--smoke and steel, coupling and uncoupling, cigarettes and espresso, glistening pavement--except when he's at work. Is a new home a new way of life? When I'm not in school, I need new ways of starting over. Like buying a bunch of new notebooks at the beginning of the quarter, even though there are plenty of pages left in the old ones. This is what adult life seems to lack. About the black and white world. I watched "The Apartment" a couple of weeks ago. Did Shirley MacLaine always have red hair? If one knew that while watching the film, I think it would have made a difference. As it is, it's like having elaborate subplots and biographies for characters that are never registered on the screen. Leave it to another generation to make sense of them. But for that audience, in 1960, it was that tragic. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings! http://greetings.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Tangentally yours
by Madeleine McNeil 14 Feb '02

14 Feb '02

I suppose I should report back and all that, but I'm not in the mood to write an epic of what we did. Suffice to say, I had a wonderful time in Brighton, and in London - oh! and in Leicester the week before with Stacey visiting me. I had fun so enthusiastically that I did myself a mischief on a spinny round fairground ride with arms (I'm sure this isn't its real name. It's probably called something like "Scream if you hate this ride and I'll ignore you and make it fo faster"). I pulled muscles I didn't know I had while holding on tightly and trying to prevent myself throwing my entire body weight at Liz Daplyn. Didn't work, so I imagine I did her a mischief too. And Liz is a classy bird. She has a leather CORSAGE on her coat! Foxy, indeed. In Brighton, Archel was the hostess with the mostest. In London, Paul and Nicholas were the hosts with the mosts. In his CAR between Leicester and London, David Starfire was the host with the filthiest mouth and the most sugary snacks. I never knew tackling frogs could be so much fun. I was very taken with Brighton, even in the freezing cold wind. We arrived just in time to the the most gorgeous sunset, and I'm afraid I got so hugley excited I started heavy breathing. This was unfortunate, but at least I didn't start bawling like I did last time I saw the sea. I couldn't sleep last night, and I wrote this post in my head. It was very good, you know. A bit tangenty and stuff, but I really rather like that. I always write good stuff in my head. Sometimes I make music videos too. I think I read somewhere once that Julian Cope told Courtney Love, way back in like 1979, to live her life like she's in a music video (this may be incorrect, but even if I made it up, isn't not a crime, right?) and I found that idea really interesting. I also cursed Julian Cope, because it would appear that he's at least partly responsible for That Woman. My favourite time of imagining I was in a music video was when I went out with Sexy Susan and the loved one and we were in a music video for 'Bootylicious". And Susan and the Loved One didn't even know! They did very well regardless. For Valentine's Day I got a lovely hand made card from the Loved One and a new zit from the Acne God (he visits me, leaves bacteria on my chin and TCP on my pillow), which is busy making friends with the last 3 offerings from the spot-giving deity. Props and big up yourselves to all the good people I met this weekend. I could get into this jetset thing, you know. Today Leicester, tomorrow THE WORLD (or rather, BIRMINGHAM. I'm going on an away day to a new city for shopping. I hope I don't throw a tanty in Top Shop again because nothing ever fits me! Grrrrrr!) Happy Valentines, lovers. Kiss your reflections. Madeleine _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: i have a crush, too bad he's not on the list
by bus stoppers 14 Feb '02

14 Feb '02

sinister, sinister... i am not sure if this at all qualifies as list abuse, but my on-line diary's server is not working. it is where i usually dump all my day to day bullshit that i don't know what to do with. and since it's not working, this is the closest thing i have to it. so if you want, you can skip this. i'm going to talk about a boy. or boys. first of all. i am not a hooker. i am not available for sex-for-hire. with that said, how come i seem to end up with boys, that for some reason, think that i am?!? i do not dress promiscuously (sp?). i do not talk about sex all the time. and whatever else qualifies me as a slut, it's just not there. so what the f*ck! (excuse my language, it's the frustration speaking.) so boy number one. he asked me for my number. he came back to my work because he lost my number. my first thought was, "oh, how sweet!" right? wrong! he instant messages me asking if he can pick me up so that he could have fun with me...umm...and some other stuff. i freak out and tell him not to be gross. he doesn't understand. he said, "huh?" then boy number two. this one stood me up not just once, but twice. how rude. but he had homework, so what was i going to say. but then he asked me if i wanted him to pick me up and take me to a hotel room to smoke some weed and take a shower with him. umm. no thank you. but then there's boy number three. this one has potential. i wish that he was on the sinister list so that i could send him a list crush e-mail. (what if he is and i don't know it and i bump into him at work? how silly would i feel.) he is my innocent-as-can-be-co-worker-crush. he's adorable. he gave me a compliment today at work right before i was leaving and i smiled all the way home. sigh. too bad he has a mean, bitchy girlfriend... i can never win. always wanting what i can't have. sorry for whining. again. i told you to skip it. so this was my 'valentine' post, sara p.s...mr. ray sir, if while you are cooking up your valentine, do ya think that you could make me up a recipe for a non-poo-poo-head boyfriend...? pleeeease? __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings! http://greetings.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: stuck to his couch back east, depressed, but you know he's safe, at least.
by lindsey baker 14 Feb '02

14 Feb '02

hello sinister. perhaps i have posted too often of late. i suppose i say that and hope you all think 'no, lindsey, we love you!'; and saying that, i'll go on. i have become minorly obsessed with a few things recently; the one i think i'll tap on about tonight is time. or rather, more accurately, counting. the existence of the phenomenon of continuous counting and why people count to begin with struck me after i covered the three-abe festival. when i was walking that path back to the paper, and noticing just how many pebbles they really do dump on icy sidewalks, i realized i knew exactly how many days (and subsequently weeks) it had been since i met The Boy. and i knew, too, exactly how many days (and subsequently weeks) were left until his return. i knew the day we met, and the day he left, and every day i have talked to him. and that got me thinking further. my roommate has been talking about how she is bored with life and the world, and feels like she is waiting for something to happen, rather than preparing for something to happen. and i, in my shallow understanding of the cosmos, told her i thought the waiting and the preparation for things to happen were inseperable and constant, though i think the waiting, at times, is, in fact, the preparation. and i think perhaps that has something to do with the counting. we count from the day we are born until the day we die; we chronicle each year and event and day, and the more we have, the higher the number gets, the more we have to celebrate. which is a bit odd, it seems, for the higer the number gets, the longer a person has lived, and the less time he has left. the higher the number gets, too, the bigger the celebration, the milestone and the congratulations on another year of waiting gone by. hmm. i don't like waiting. and i really hate counting. but i realize now, too, that i have no choice but to do both, always, until i understand why i have done it for a lifetime. and then i will have prepared, i suppose. two weeks. fourteen days. and then i will begin a new cycle of chronicle of anticipation of celebration of wait for xxx your lou ps. i promise no more spastic posts after this one for a while. pps. i also feel as though i should include that i noticed something at the newspaper yesterday. sitting on the arts and entertainment desk was the bag of my ex-boyfriend. and spilling out of the bag of the ex-boyfriend was tigermilk. the only b&s cd i do not own. and the only b&s cd he has, bought after i lent him iyfs. fuckhead. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: some news is good news(a little content)
by howard shady 14 Feb '02

14 Feb '02

hello all, after some snooping around and a little bit of what not in between(with some help from Amy). Seems we have uncovered some U.S. tourdates. here they are: sat may 4 Boston, fri may 10 Detroit(rock city), and sat may 11 in my kind of town(Chicago). this could make for a lovely start of spring don't ya think. and another thing, thanx to all for the warm welcome that you sent from my first post. you wouldnt' think a boy of 29 could blush so much. also for the responses for some trades....very nice of you all. well i must get back to creating my perfect valentine. if anyone needs the recipe 2 parts alcohol 1 part dirty dream 2 cups of sugar, spice and everything nice stir gently bake for 1 hour at body temp and serve Happy Valentines day all Ray p.s. I love four day weekends __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings! http://greetings.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: drankin n dreamin
by Bron 13 Feb '02

13 Feb '02

crazy crazy so does anyone else have random french people instant message them? this has been going on for about a year for me... i don't know how they get my name or why they insist i speak french to them! my screenname was my french name in high schoooool, and i really don't speak much french...now that i've been china-fied hehe so yeah, like i've had about 23 french people instant message me in the past year. none claim to know one another. odd. okay well moving on... i just want to give a boost to drunkeness. (disclaimer: i'm not a lush i just have groovy moments when it's -the must- the thing to do :-) last week i was briskly walking home in an inebriated state, and lo and behold...(duh duh DUH) The Meaning Of Life struck my brain!!! i told myself not to forget it so i could tell you all and as i stood in the shower the next morning i remembered i forgot!!! shame on me. but i did come upon another revelation... it's purely a work of Susan (really "God" but this is my name for him) that in our most inept state clarity can be found.. cheers and thumbs up to all the ideas that hide behind our sobriety! and i'm sure, as ken pointed out, that even if one has not touched the devil's juice, the alcohol in your brain can have the same effect over time....you too can acquire the meaning of life! it's the chuth (chu + truth, get it??...ahh yeah i'm gonna sit back down now..) sorry if i've used your name in vain, ken.. anyway, just to be even more ridiculous, i dreamt i worked at a pizza hut in china last night...and then all these rectangular-box- looking planes fell from the sky... there was somethin that had to do with strawberries and then i found a boy with a guitar.. he was cute :-) okay well, enough from me for now PEACE me new friends! ---Your Mountain Mama Sweetheart ps. belle n sebastian in chicago may 11!!! HOORAYYYYY!!!!! :-D [extra big smile and slap- happy clapping] ***Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right*** ---Jerry. http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Weak in the presence of booty
by Mark Casarotto 13 Feb '02

13 Feb '02

Ho sinister (so true on so many levels), I've been a right old grump for the last 24 hours. Last night, on another interweb forum I went a bit mental, using RUDE WORDS and being bitchy and cynical, like, even more than normal. And today nothing's changed! Perhaps my home-made bolognese sauce has a spooky psychoactive effect. Presumably it's combining with my Italian side to bring out the fiery passionate nature that dwells deep within me... However, I'm not cross with sinister (except maybe Richard John Gillanders, who evidently thinks paragraphs are for poofs), so I thought I'd soother my fevered brow with a quick post. Sinister really is a place of epics these days! Not that this is a bad thing (well, subjectively it might be, should someone be banging on for ages, a bit like this, really), it's just strange. Did someone re-state the 15-minute rule when I wasn't looking? Something is buzzing in my bedroom. It might be my computer speaker, but it never used to do that. Does this mean it might explode? If so, will I feel pain? Hannah mentioned crushes (and spunk, but we'll gloss (ahem) over that). Can I have some please? No housework tips at the moment, although I did purchase some lovely bedding, picture frames and crockery yesterday. I am the dullest man in the world (David Moore, shut it). Ach. Fitba anyone? Mark xxx __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: procrastination is futile!!
by Hannah Brown 13 Feb '02

13 Feb '02

yes!!!!! This is quite true but unfortunatly i am the procrastination queen and am making every effort to stop thinking about stuff as much as i do. I have to confess that the main reason i am here is to avoid doing work. I have a big folder of shitty drawings sitting in the library crying out to be turned into something amazing but i just can't face it. How was everyone's pancake day?? Mine always seems to be the most ridiculous day of the year. This time there were four of us huddled together in a kitchen the size of a box arguing about how to make up the mix. When we had agreed on the amounts we argued about what went in first and how thick it should be. Everyone was shouting and bumping into each other. We made them in the end and they were lovely. I have decided i am going to try and give up thinking for 40 days, obviously not completely just the sort of thinking that goes as follows: "hmmmmmmmmm, i wonder where i will be next year.hmmmmmmmm mmmmmmm, i remember when i was 8, things were different then hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm, i fancy a cup of tea,hhhmm" When i feel myself doing this i will bash myself on the head with the nearest hard object. I got another crush the other day, thanks to who ever it was, i have had two in the last few weeks which is quite exciting. I should also congratulate you all for not being thick like me and doing it wrong. On a bus journey to oxford street i saw two b&s related shops. One said Ken's Fish Bar and the other said ASM MUSIC and it had lots of guitars in the window. Not very interesting i know but it made me smile. Another thing that made me smile and feel all warm inside was at a party on friday. ( crap sentence structure i know). I was playing some guitar in a room full of people, there was some other music playing so i didnt think anyone was taking any notice. When i finished i looked up and there were all these faces smiling at me and everyone clapped. Can i repeat that word, CLAPPED. I was dead chuffed about that. Oh christ, i better go and stare at my drawings and hope they come to life a bit. love and jizz, hannahxx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Outside the chemist with a match and a ferret
by Steven M Rhodes 13 Feb '02

13 Feb '02

Installment 3 Living in Queensland, our family naturally made a few trips up to the Big Pineapple (Pineapples are one of Queensland's main agricultural resources so there's like this huge fibre glass pineapple at this theme park.) When I was younger. I really loved the big pineapple so Dad painted the words Golden Circle on our corrugated iron water tank and told me it was the Big Tinned Pineapple. It wasn't quite the same. Speaking of mailboxes, have you seen these mailboxes where underneath the mail slot, they have the word "MAIL" printed there? What is that for? Just incase the MAILPERSON (don't you love political correctness?) reads it and says "Oh damn it! I've just spent the whole day folding the letters up into paper airplanes and trying to glide them into open windows. I should have just been putting them in the little slot. Well there goes my whole day! Boy the guys back at the depo are going to have a field day. " My friends and I were laying down looking up at the clouds and I said "Hey, if you squint your eyes, that cloud kind of looks like bird shit coming straight for us." And as it turned out, it was quite lucky that we did squint our eyes. I don't like public speaking very much. To try and overcome your fears they tell you to imagine that the audience isn't wearing any clothes. But I was wondering, what would make me more nervous. The act of public speaking or hundreds of people staring at my erection? Because when it comes to naked women I've got a very fertile imagination. (...Ahh the warm embraces of tastelessness) Our TV isn't working at the moment. The only channel that works is the 24-hour snow report. And according to the broadcast, it's going to be one hell of a skiing season because it hasn't stopped snowing for the last week. And the snow is so strong that they've lost audio transmission. All you can here is static: Kssssshhhhhhh. (Ohh, the hilarity. I'll give you a moment to recover from your unbridled fits of laughter) .........and that oughta do it. I was watching TV and an commercial came on for one of those American lawyer dramas. Just pick any one, they're all the same. And the voiceover went: "A respected lawyer must decide whether to jeopardize her career or let a homicidal killer walk free." There's too much stress associated with those high profile jobs. I think more television dramas should be set in convenience stores. "Tonight Sharon Rogers must decide whether to take her lunch break now or in 15 minutes when her boss gets back from the shops." "Next week in an award winning episode, Sharon must decide whether to sell cigarettes to someone who may be below the legal age. This is must see television! Don't miss it!" Religion is supposed to be about happiness and well-being but have you ever noticed how much cursing is based on religion? Jesus Christ God in Heaven Holy shit Heaven's above Fucking hell Christ almighty For God's sake For heaven's sake God damn it ..Yeah. It sure to a while to compile that list....kind of unrewarding. Anyways, Good luck with that whole "life" thing. From Steven. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Belle and Sebastian Star At Stars Hollow
by Laura Llew 13 Feb '02

13 Feb '02

Evidently, people have been worried about me lately and -get this- it has NOTHING do with the fact I proposed to a homosexual male. (Oh and they're the ones worrying about me? Whatever! They don't even have concern for the right reasons. Pfffftttt.) Earlier tonight I was taping Gilmore Girls for the object of my affliction and -- as Lisa already mentioned -- there was a whole Belle and Sebastian subplot on it. I mean they just didn't play Legal Man there was a whole scene involving SUBTERFUGE and everything. Since I never have any B&S content, I've decided to describe this in such agonizing detail that no one will ever complain again about my posts when they wander off into freak tangents such as how my father once said that he wanted his funeral at Bristol Motor Speedway on race day so that way he can happily look down and think, "Wow all those people and they're even paying for parking." First a CAST OF CHARACTERS! Production Company: DOROTHY PARKER PRODUCTIONS (must mention the more important things first) RORY: Main teen character of the show. 16. She loves books and even brought along with her "The Portable Dorothy Parker" to her prom in case it got boring. Smart girl! LANE: Rorys best friend who has recently been grounded by her strict parents. Grounded in this case includes being taken out of school to be homeschooled for two weeks. She is itching for outside contact and even has a telescope at her bedroom window where she is tracking Rory's movement so she can call her whenever near a phone (though she only gets five minutes of phone time, except to the psalm a day hotline which has had the SAME psalm four days in a row which with the name of the line is BEARING FALSE WITNESS and a commandment so I'm surprised their little program didn't just burst into flames). MAMA LANE: Strict maternal parental unit. Once when Rory's house had termites, MamaLane yelled at Rory because she brought her termite-infested body to her store full of furniture and turned a HOSE onto her ignoring Rory's protests that she's not a carrier for the splinter choking critters. MICHEL: Pronounced Mee-shell. French. He works with Rory's mother where, from what I can tell, all they do is exchange witty banter in a hotel lobby. He is apathetic and sarcastic. Once at a club where the wait staff were all dressed up in drag Mae West asked what she could get him. Michel frenched, "My dignity back." KIRK: This is how much I love you people. I actually did research to find out his name - I just know him as the guy in the video store when Rory complains that there's a picture of a mostly naked girl on the cover of a video that is in plain view of small children. He wanted to know "Is she a blonde?" Ha. Ha. Ha. THE SETUP: In the diner, Rory is there with her mother trying to decide where to sit which is really an excuse to have a moment of witty dialogue since they'll sit where they always do and everyone knows it. So, they sit. Phone rings and the diner owner (Luke - the lovable GOOD LOOKING town grump. Oh my town has grumps too but they all in their sixties and smell of ben gay. I'd like to request a change of residence to a fictional town) answers and it's for Rory. Pan up to Lane who is in her bedroom with eye on telescope, ear to phone, and mouth a moving. Oh wait - I don't think this is where the Belle and Sebastian line comes in. Fast forward. Rory is walking down the sidewalk and the pay phone rings. Pan up to stalker Lane again which Rory, duly notes, is becoming kind of scary. Lane is urgent in her request (and speedy since she only has a limited amount of phone time before Gestapo mother quizzes her to see what the psalm of the day. "Where's your vision?" "You can't fool me, Lane. That's a proverb!"). Lane: "Belle and Sebastian's new single comes out today and I must have a copy of it. As an audio geek I have a responsibility." I'm misquoting because it has now been exactly 4 hours and 41 minutes since the show ended, my video tape didn't work so I have nothing to refresh my memory, and I worked ten hours today so I keep getting elements of the episode confused with things like the customer at the bookstore who I taught smutty Russian phrases to. Lane and Rory decide that they need to put a plan into action in order to get Lane the new Belle and Sebastian while she's under such strict supervision. ACTUAL SCENE OF SUBTERFUGE *Cue the playing of Legal Man* Lane and MamaLane come out of their house walking briskly, looking straight ahead, and full of purpose. Kirk stops them - an obvious distractor - and asks MamaLane when the store is open on a particular day. She rattles off store hours -- one for decent paying customers and another set for people who do things like loiter in the aisles and voted Democrat in the last election. Lane subtly holds her bag slightly open to her side. While MamaLane is busy channeling Barry Goldwater, a shrouded jogger drops the CD into Lane's bag. MamaLane says Amen and then hurries off with her daughter. Pan to jogger swooning on steps of the diner where Rory has been watching the entire thing. Jogger removes his faustus hood to reveal none other than Michel who is very French and very unhappy. The times had been changed from 9am to 10am (you discover this in a hurried phone call which I deleted from my retelling as I can't remember any of the snappy banter it entailed) but Michel didn't get the message so he had been running around the square for an hour. He's quite disgruntled with this even though Rory tells him he has good form. He says his cardiologist will be happy and after grabbing his heart dramatically and flailing a bit he sulks off. Legal Man is still playing but now it becomes louder and the scene ends. Lane has her CD! B&S played on my favorite show! Everybody cheers! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY NIGHT AMY SHERMAN-PALLADINO, WRITER CREATOR AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF GILMORE GIRLS, EVEN IF MY VCR HAS FEELINGS OF ABANDONMENT AND REFUSES TO WORK FOR ME KEEPING ME FROM SHARING THE JOY AND HAPPINESS EXCEPT FOR THROUGH LONG BORING POSTS WRITTEN IN THE THROES OF INSOMNIA! _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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