halo sinister..
i am running awfully late for my nightly piano gig,
but i had to tell you something:
he called me.. from pulp. in cambridge. just a few
hours ago. i work in an icebox, otherwise known as an
IT room, and my mobile gets no signal in there, so i
missed the call.. but you see, it is some sort of
tradition we have, to call each other from shows that
the other cannot attend for some reason.. so it's like
we were there.. he called me from radiohead as i was
lying half asleep in bed. i called him from new order
as he was stuck at work on a project. then i called
him from ivy on my birthday cos he was too exhausted
from staying over to late the night before to make
it.. (he lives a few hours away and had to drive
straight to work, you know..) and then there was the
request he put in for a cover, so i called him from my
show when we did "your silent face".. so it was his
turn to call i guess.. the song he chose to call me
for today was "something changed"..
as i was racing home to change attire, the traffic
seemed to slow me up in time to hear through the
static- that familiar melody.. and i felt my fat
bottom lip suddenly morph into a thin tight line
pointing from one ear to the other like a tennis net
strewn across my face, which promptly forced tears to
shoot out from my eyes like tennis balls from a
machine. somebody backhand me, please. i am fighting
with myself over the question "is 1:00 to early to
call somebody, even in the uk?"
arg. the longer i wonder, the later it gets.
blame it on Am�lie. i saw it last night. maybe it
struck too many harmonious chords in me, and now i
have to sing about it. but i woke up feeling a smile
inside- like somehow the day wasn't as broken as
usual.. ?
he flies home tomorrow. i can't wait. i just had to
tell you he called, cos it means that much to me.
"where would we be now if we'd never met? would i be
singing this song to someone else instead? i don't
know, but like you just said.. something changed.."
*sigh*
ok
gotta jet
hearts,
juju
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
so I pick up the new EP today. Although I haven't had
time to totally absorb every nuance, it's great, and I
deffinately have no complaints.
I was going to write in asking though, where's stuart,
bobby, stevie, mick, and wee chris on the inserts?
There's Richard, Isabel and Sarah with dogs and cars,
but not the rest of them. Then I got to thinking and
well everyone else has already graced the covers of
their respected releases (stuart "3,6,9", chris
"bwtas", mick and bobby "j,d") and stevie is on the
poster for the the ep too. so I figured out my own
problem.
Also if anyone cares, "City of Daughters" Destroyer's
2nd album has recentely been rereleased and is one of
the most amazing records ever recorded. ever.
--- andrew
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Never laugh at people who post something before it's finished. It might
happen to you one day. And follow Ally's advice. Fill in the address last. I
remembered that. Cause it was in one of my favourite posts ever. But I
didn't do it. Argh.
*hides quite embarrassed*
Anyway... I can't even remember if I wanted to say anything else.
Maybe, that I need to stop posting. Most people take half an hour for a
post. Or one hour. I take days. A lot of them sometimes.
And then what do I do? I hit send before it's done.
*sighs*
Well I think I have to get over it, don't I.
If I wanted to say anything else, I'll just let you know... some other time.
Ooo and the picnic. I think I meant to say something better about it. That
why there was this biiiiiig space before that paragraph. Because it
shouldn't be there in the final version. But since I have already said
something...
I'll stop moaning about it now.
So... just
love, and keep the faith,
Dimitra
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Wow Two Posts In One Day :D Anyway so yeah I got the "I'm Waking Up To Us"
ep right now and I see why lots of people are dissing it cos it's erm
"different". That said, I say it's absolutely Brilliant and yes that is a
Captial "B". It's truly wonderful to see the lads and lasses branching out
into something truly different after all these years. Don't get me wrong I
love ALL in the B&S universe, but I think that this ep and I shall become
close friends.
Lovely pics of cute doggies on the sleeve too, like.
bri
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
A few nights ago I asked my best friend, "So what shall we console ourselves
with? They thought that some day things will best better?"
I was feeling desperate.
About a month ago my life seem to be getting better. I was falling in love
and I got a puppy, and for a while the world seemed brighter. Then came a
night when I listed all the things that should have been making me happy,
and found them to be quite a lot... and discovered I was feeling sad and
worried. I thought it would go away.
On a magically sunny afternoon two days later, me and my friend are walking
with the sea on one side and the city on the other. We had walked out of the
cinema to find ourselves standing in front of the sea and opposite of some
cranes. And of the sun, who seemed to be everywhere, in the sky and on the
sea and reflecting on the first line of buildings of the city. It made me
suddenly understand what the phrase 'leave the earth behind as you watch
into the sun' might mean. It also reminded me of something I had read in a
book, something like that this world is the most powerful one. Or it might
have said dominant. Because it has gravity. Walking in the sunlight felt
like floating. And yet. It was a reminder of the essence and the nature of
this world, and how we can't escape it -like gravity. And as a boy told me
once -while kissing me-, gravity keeps us from flying, but also keeps us
from falling off. When we find ourselves in the wrong hemisphere, with our
feet where your head should be. Somehow I know exactly what he meant. And
walking into the magical sunlight after two hours of sitting in a dark
room... it just said everything about it.
Still, the world felt dark.
However, I guess that's what I console myself with.
I was going to talk about the things that made me feel desperate that night,
not in a "why does my life suck so much" way but in a "how good can things
get" way, in a "can we ever be happy" way.
Sir David said :
"I have thought a lot about happiness. It seems to me that happiness is the
ability to look just far enough ahead. To strike a balance between doing
what will make me feel good right now, and what will make me feel good
tomorrow about the person I have been today.
If anyone has any ideas on how to actually do this - answers on the back of
a postcard, please."
And I just wish happiness is something more than that.
And I guess that's the reason I was feeling desperate that night.
Postcards -it's one of my favourite words, though as far as I can remember I
have never send or received one.
One of this days and as a fight was ending, I said 'everyone is sad for some
reason'. Actually, I typed it. Then I stood there staring at the screen,
wondering how you can just let things lie around in your mind without
putting them into words for years, surprised once more by the effect it has
one me. Cause I remembered my four-and-a-half-year-old self lying in bed and
realising that. And not being sad about it. Just wanting to find out
everything about it.
In a way, that's all I have been doing. And it probably is the reason why I
have been asking so many people so many questions. About so many things.
Maybe even I have been asking too many people too many questions. About too
many things.
Sir David also said: Sometimes you see between and through things. Sometimes
this makes you feel warm, at others: cold.
It still surprises me when I see my thoughts expressed by someone else and
delivered to me by Sinister. And it happens quite a lot. And that's one of
the best things I've read lately. Maybe just because I had been thinking
about it a lot.
Although it doesn't tell you what to do with that.
I've spent quite a lot of time wishing people could like each other more,
while at the same time accusing myself of having childish wishes. I know
some people can't like each other. I know I dislike some people too. I know
that maybe sometimes I don't even have good reasons for doing so.
But...
Maybe it comes from wondering too much, but since this summer I've gained
some kind of insight into people's motives and feelings, I don't read your
thoughts (usually not that is, and when it happens, it doesn't really make
me really happy...anyway), I just happen to know a lot of times what people
feel and how it makes them act the way they act. Sometimes I judge people...
and sometimes I don't... I'm not sure what I want to do. Though not always.
Maybe when I grow up a bit more I won't judge anyone. But what I do know is
that this knowledge changes the way I view things. And it taught me that
everybody have their reasons for being who they are and doing what they do.
Which might not justify what they're doing... but it makes it easier to
accept. I guess. So... please try to be understanding. And then -as Will
once said- supportive. Sometimes the first comes after the second, or it
might not come at all -but I suggest you try it anyway.
The aforementioned friend used to be a boyfriend. And one cold windy night
aand after having watched another film, I found myself walking behind him,
and crying -cause he hated me. And wondering what I have been doing so wrong
and I have lost almost every friend I've had (here). And at the same time
knowing that -without it meaning that I haven't done mistakes- I'm proud of
what I am. While he is shouting, to me probably as there's no one else
around, that he's fed up with being himself.
Well -we fight mostly cause he's depressed like this... but... (and that's
one of the things that makes us be best friends, I guess) I remember me
saying to him in September that I don't see the point in telling him what I
think he's doing wrong, that I'll just love him which will give him the
strength to get over it, since if he's doing something wrong in time he'll
see it himself. If I had lived up to that, we probably wouldn't have been
fighting.
In case this explains what I said above any better.
I just read that paragraph again and it sounds desperate... or something
quite similar for which I don't know the word. Maybe it was that bad
indeed... but it doesn't matter now as a few days later and after yet
another film he called me and later he came round. He was quite sad... as if
he hadn't forgiven me... as always. He brought me wine and watched me cook
and listened to me moan (about fighting with a boy). Then he disappeared. As
always.
-Oooooooh.
The athenian picnic. I hear it's getting bigger and bigger. Which makes me
really happy. CAuse the 24th of March happens to be my 21st birthday. Hmmm,
no, it's not a coincidence. If you want to blame someone you can blame
Danny. I didn't do anything. But I wouldn't blame him, cause that's going to
be like, better than the best birthday party I could ever have. Maybe better
than if I went to Scotland. Mainly cause it will be sunny. Trust me, the
weather will probably be exactly as Joanna describes it. It's exactly what I
imagoned it to be like too. I'm always complaining about living in Greece
but I'm sure it's a great place for a holiday, especially if you don't come
in the summer.
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
sorry
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
A little kid at school asked me if I was a goth. Hahahahaha! Funny. I was
wearing a corduroy shirt and flared corduroy trousers and a cardigan at the
time. This prompts me for a new subject at school, called "Youth Studies".
You would get taught about slang and what swearwords mean, and then be shown
pictures, like
TEACHER:This is an indiekid, now can anyone tell me what kind of trainers
indiekids wear?
PUPIL 1:They all wear different ones with very small logos 'cos they want to
be different
TEACHER:Now, where would you go if you were going to a Goth party and wanted
to look like everyone else there?
PUPIL 2:Camden.
TEACHER:A Merit mark to Susie! For your homework, you have to write a brief
summary of 5 diiferent youth subcultures: Indiekids, Goths, Nu-Metal fans,
Rudeboys and Skaters. That's for thursday.
It would be cool wouldn't it. And then little kids would know I wasn't a
goth.
Goths are irritating, I know, but has anyone else met a phenomenenenenen
even more irritating? The Wannabe Goth. These are people who think: Hmmmmm,
I want to be different and stand out from the crowd, so, they buy some
bracelets and carefully construct rumours around themselves involving
"Chemical imbalances" in their brain. And talk about Pentagrams and listen
to System of a Down. These are truly the twats of this earth. What really
irritates me, though, Is that they don't like go for the proper goth thing,
they just sort of make a really half-arsed attempt to get attention. If
they were proper goths, they'd get piercings and wear far far too much
mascara and really be goths but they are just to cowardly to do that. they
want to stand out, but without being called freaks. I really, really
dislike them.
I bought a CD yesterday. it's quite good, but to be honest, I would never
have bought it if it had been just by any band and I'd heard it on the
Radio. The second track is great, I dance around the room to it but all in
all, the experiance is underwhelming considering what amazing music they
have produced in the past. Yeah, it's Ok, but nothing too great and for a
B&S single it ain't up to much.
OK, I'm off now to buy a shield to fend off the spiky mail that will fly at
me after thse comments.
!Viva Rachels!
Rachel Pancake/Joe Vester
P.S. I'm gonna have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, by the way, as a
tribute to my female alter-ego.
P.P.S. Inside every lanky boy is a fat girl who loves pancakes.
P.P.P.S Not to suggest anything _whatsoever_ by that. I'm not specifying
what it doesn't suggest, just so as to keep all options covered.
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Pardon the cheesy subject line please. Anyway...
There was a time not in the distant past when I would actually delete all the
Sinister emails I got *gasp*. Now while I now that I deserve to suffer an
eternity of listening to Metallica records at 66 rpm for my sins, I beg that
you all will be a forgiving lot. Now that I'm not only reading them all
(really), but I'm writing, I feel like a better person. Yeah
I'm going to get to new single this evening yayaya it should brighten up this
otherwise stupidly dull day. I'm gonna go for a run first though, which
could be bad cos I haven't run in almost a month. Oh well you gotta live
somehow. peace
bri
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
hey-lo sinisters
well at the moment i'm very frustrated with the
international telephone services. how difficult
does it have to be to call a mobile phone in
estonia? very, apparently.
the phone gods are laughing at ulla and i.
well.......we'll see who comes off victorious in
the end.
juju said some very nice things about me and my
posts. THANKS JUJU! YOU'RE ACE.
apparently pablo neruda was quoted in someone's
post. ahhh.....nothing goes better with,
well....anything actually, than pablo neruda.
he is a true voice of the earth and of its
desperate creatures. EVERYONE SHOULD READ
EVERYTHING BY PABLO NERUDA. especially the love
sonnets. i'm not asking, i'm telling. trust me.
just relax.
and what the gentleman said at the end about
nerudas poetry being the easiest way to get into
an indie girls pants.....absolutely true. he
just writes the most incredibly romantic poetry
ever written! in my humble opinion of course.
you know what?
i just found out that the girl i love (and who
loves me back) has the exact same birthday as me!
that's right! the fabulous sillustrationist ULLA
METS (sorry darling for name-dropping you, but
the world must see all your beautiful
sillustrations) and myself were both born on
january 4th. why we didnt realize this until now
i dont know.
in music news:
--i'm getting the new b&s single tonight after
work.
--i'm in love with camera obscura and i'm
horribly jealous of all you folk who actually
LIVE near them and can see them play live.
--everyone should go out and buy (i think i've
mentioned this before) Hope Sandoval and The Warm
Inventions. stunning. leaves me speechless
really.
--also everyone should go out and buy a cd of
Chet Baker. he's a dreamy jazz singer.
--anyone who would like the URL to hear a song of
my own creation with me and my friend hiromi
singing, just email me.
in the book nook today: j.d. salinger of course.
still reading : seymour, an introduction.
also i'm continuously rereading p.g. wodehouse
stories. you should too!
in the cafeteria: wheat thins and dried
apricots. with water to drink.
i'm curious to know what everyones feelings are
on the film "basquiat". why? i dont know, its
something to talk about. personally i love that
film.
the sinister translation game is well under way
and should be completed sometime by next
..........winter, hopefully. hey come on! it
takes time!
i'm anxiously awaiting my turn at the rachel
mixtape. oh, the possiblities.......
*cue dr. evil laugh*
anyway i'm totally rambling and boring you all to
death....i'm afraid my wit juice is running dry,
so i'm going to go splash some good strong coffee
in my face and see if that helps.
lots of love and fun games like hide and seek
in the dark......caleb ben aka raw
=====
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a
harder battle." ~Plato
"Love does not consist of gazing at each other,
but in looking together in the same direction."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
__________________________________________________
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send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
hello for the second time today!
i did go out to try and get tickets for thursday's gig... and what a
magnificient failure it was.
i had checked carefully where the club was on the map - not that far from
where i live actually.. i went by tram. i think b&s should have made a
t-shirt with a tram. i love them. i even managed to get off on the right
stop. hurray! it was this huge busy roundabout, with loads and loads of
cars/trams/buses passing, and no traffic lights. i had to cross the street
running, because i was scared someone would run me over if i just walked. it
worked - no one did run me over (obviously). a few cars even stopped to let
me pass.
which doesn't change the fact i couldn't find the street, where the club was
supposed to be. i walked in the wrong direction for a while. then i turned
back. then i walked into another street before suddenly bumping into the
right one.
'oh hello!', i exclaimed. 'fancy seeing you here!'
i looked around. ooh what a grim and dark area. small grey buildings next to
small grey buildings next to a big grey place offering cement, plaster,
concrete and sand. hmm. i walked round a bit and found a grey car service
station. i walked round a bit more and some lewd old man started talking to
me. i escaped.
and found myself in front of *another* club. the one i *wasn't* trying to
find. it's cube-shaped and grey too, and it used to belong to some factory
before being converted to the Central House of Qulture. oh well.
i walked back to the other street. naturally, i could try to ask someone to
show me the way but
a) the people i met were either lewd old men or workers of the car service
station
b) the club is called 'Bakery'. perhaps it's in a building which used to be
a bakery, all the best clubs used to be something else in the past. ;)
how could i come up to somebody and ask: 'excuse me, do you know where the
bakery is? oh, it's a club by the way.'
hmm. :) so i decided to walk right to the end of that short dark street. i
was so focused on trying to make out the building's numbers that i stepped
into a deep puddle. i didn't even feel my whole left foot was wet - perhaps
it was because the water instantly froze on me. ah well. i was about to
concede defeat and go back to the scary roundabout when - lo and behold - i
went into some gateway and there, behind a massive metal door was 'The
Bakery'(!)
only it was closed.
i tried using the huge knocker but to no avail. no-one showed up to sell me
tickets. that's what happens to an avid music fan like my poor self.
so i went back home and called up my musician friend to cheer myself up and
ask him what time his band were playing tomorrow. he wasn't sure. :)
anyway, i'd better start studying (and essay writing ;-)
take care and sorry for bothering you all twice today(!)
olalala
--
Tego nie znajdziesz w zadnym sklepie!
[ http://oferty.onet.pl ]
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
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