Dear Sinister people,
What can you say to Rob and Liz's family and closest friends when they have
lost someone they held so close to their heart. Someone so lovely and
gentle. Those words have not been evented yet and probably never will, like
in all true feelings. Still I feel I have to try and say something, for you
see, Liz meant so much to this list and it won't ever be same without her. I
had not the luck to meet Liz in person, might of been the geographical
distance or the fact i've never even been close to London in my entire life.
It seems to me though that she had the rare gift of making everyone she ever
touched (not necessarily physically) wanting to be a better person. Thanks
to David who reported back from the funeral seemed there were many who she
had touched and i'm certain there are much more of us who could not be
there. Might of been that those who couldn't had their own ways of saying
goodbye, for me it was to leave a colourful bunch of flowers into Northern
Sea for her memory and whispers that were meant for her ears only.
There are people who come and go in your life and there are people who come
and stay. I'm sure we all know what kind of person Liz was.
Goodbye Liz.
Ulla
_________________________________________________________________
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hi All,
Not the kind of event that I thought (hoped) I would ever Report Back on,
but I thought that something should be said about Liz's funeral, which was
held on Friday afternoon outside in the Essex countryside. A very large
number of people attended, comprised of Liz's family & friends, Rob's family
& friends, Liz's friends from Oxford, people from this list* & from the ILE
community.
The proceedings were lead by Liz's uncle, and a lot of sad & wonderful
things were said about Liz or read by her Mum, her Dad, her sister, her
cousin, Rob, Rob's Mum and a couple of Liz's fellow students from St
Hilda's. Jim read a message that Honey had sent. Several pieces of music
were played, reflecting the wide range of Liz's musical talents & interests.
I learned a lot from what was said, how much more talented & special a
person Liz was than I was ever aware of (including oarswoman & rifle shot
amongst her accomplishments!).
The occasion was heartbreaking, to think of Liz being taken from her family
and friends at such an early age, that Rob and her should have spent so few
years together. However, there was also an enormous feeling of love for Liz,
joy at celebrating her life and its achievements and even some humour. The
ceremony was not at all rushed as some such occasions can be, people had
sufficient time for reflection and to express their feelings. The spot
itself is very peaceful, as can be seen from some pictures here
http://www.green-burial.co.uk . Liz is laid to rest in a meadow, under the
eves of a wood which with new planting will eventually extend over the
grave. The wood becomes carpeted with bluebells in the spring and the site
is very tranquil, with no traffic noise and on a rise so that there is a
great view over the green countryside.
Although the occasion was informal I thought it was a great sign of respect
for Liz that not only did so many people attend but also that they had gone
to the trouble of wearing (in some cases acquiring, I think!) dark suits &
ties.
Its a long time since I have seen so many Sinisterines in one place at the
same time and its so sad that they should have been brought together for
this reason - I recall seeing Rob, Marianna, Ken, Ben & Rachel Apps, Archel
& Mr Archel, Ian, Stefano, Robin Stout, Lucy, Ailsa, Cabbage & Miss Vicky,
Mark C & Sarah, Tim, Ally C, Stacey Dahling, Pam, Jim, Lixi & Steve,
Carsmile Steve & Meg, Andy Dean, Starry, Nick.
Apologies for my writing, which is not up to capturing the emotion of the
occasion, and if I have left anyone or anything out that I should have
included.
A lot of tributes have been written to Liz in various places recently - I
hope that the love that Liz inspired in others is some comfort to those
close to her. Here are a few more things that have come to my mind in the
last few days.
She was such a very talented person, musically as an instrumentalist &
singer, whether as part of or directing a choir or covering Blondie's 'Heart
Of Glass' backed by The Johnny 7 before one of B&S's Astoria gigs a couple
of years ago. I also recall her installation which formed part of an
exhibition at The Roundhouse in 2001 which she described as "a big wibbly
projection type thing" or an "abstract slide thing projected onto a big
piece of perspex" - whatever, even if I wasn't clever enough to understand
its meaning the intellect and ingenuity that had gone into its production
was manifest.
Her kindness, always thinking of others & finding ways to include them, at
picnics bringing loads of food to share, her delicious home baking.
She once wrote “It's our glorious idiosyncracies that mark us as such
wonderful people” and certainly lived up to that herself, signing off
e-mails to me with “Must go make etchings” or talking of going off to
decorate a cake for a friend or to go for a snowball fight.
I will treasure our common enthusiasms, especially for certain artists. We
both love Sodastream and she once spoke of kidnapping Pete & Karl & keeping
them in her cellar to write songs to play for her & her mum - then her
strong practical sense realised that the damp would play havoc with the
tuning of the double bass & her kindness started thinking of providing them
with a little heater.
Her talents ranged even to her very expressive facial, er, expressions,
ranging from the mere arching, asking eyebrow to ones that spoke volumes. I
think that had she been born a few decades earlier she would made a
fantastic actress of the silent era, even giving Lillian Gish a run for her
money. The one that is etched in my mind is the one she greeted Lixi with at
ATP once when Lixi eventually returned from the beach in the early hours
with the chalet key - absolutely terrifying & I am glad it wasn't directed
at me!
I miss her a lot, & I wasn't anywhere near as close to her as others. I wish
her family, Rob and her friends strength to deal with their grief and that a
day will come when the pain of loss is less for them.
I understand that Ken, Marianna & Pam have been in the front line of
supporting Rob over recent days & I wish to thank them for the strength of
their friendship & what they have also had to say & do on behalf of others.
If I have another wish, it is that the tragic circumstances in which Liz met
her end don't result in a permanent increase in fear & prejudice in the
country - for a long period Liz's e-mail signature included the line "Regard
the moon, La lune ne garde aucune rancune".
Love,
David Moore
Chelmsford, UK
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hey people,
my name's nalA and i'm a newbie to the list.
Ideally this wouldn't be the first email i sent to the list but at the
moment times are far from ideal, so i guess it stands to reason that my
first post would be far from the ideal introduction.
Shortly after the events two weeks ago in London i emailed Honey with a
slightly strange email. After a little bit of very gentle nudging Honey has
persuaded me to mail you guys what i sent her.
It went a bit like this:
"Hi there,
i'm really sorry to bother you as i am in essence a complete stranger to
you.
A month or so ago i joined the sinister list but have not yet had the
confidence to post.
As a silly teenager i was on the list years ago but rarely posted then due
to the fact that i would get worried that i would come across as stupid and
that i would make a fool of myself.
Since then i have grown slighly in confidence and don't care so much as to
if i make of myself as i have become rather secure in my stupiidity.
Anyhow, at this point you're probaly thinking "Enough already! Cut to the
chase and tell me where you are heading with your ramblings!".
Where i am heading is this...
A good few years ago now i went to one of my first music festivals.
As you may of guessed this festival was Bowlie.
I went with three other people that i vaguely knew from My Life Story gigs
and messageboards/lists.
For various reasons i now forget, there seemed to a certain ammount of
tension ion my chalet and amongst it's inhibitants. Consequently i spent
most the festival wandering alone.
A lonely 17yr old boy with too much time on his hands combatting severe
depression.
One evening i was sat by myself outside on a picnic bench reading a book, i
think it was Bukowski's women but it could of been The Dice Man, i can't
really remember now. On the picnic table opposite me were a group of five
or six people.
I put down my book and quietly drink my lemonade as i try and write bad
poetry/lyrics of the kind that only a young male with issues can.
As i do so a girl/young woman from the group says hi to me and asks me if
i'm alright as i looked rather sad.
We begin to talk and she invites to join the group at their table.
I join them but being rather socially awkward and not very "with it" i find
it hard to keep up with the conversation.
Despite this the group were kind. They allowed me to hang around at the
gigs with them, to dance in the "disco" with them, to play frisbee with them
and seemed to warm to me a little.
However, only the girlie who had first spoken to me really seemed to speak
to me rather than wait for me to join in with their conversations.
This same girlie was the one who would tell me when and where to be to meet
the group.
On the final day (when everybody was leaving) my chalet mates had seemed to
sort things between themselves and were now once again the best of friends
(i think). Feeling rather guilty at having left me alone for most of the
festival they insisted on keeping me close to them.
I never saw my new group of friends again as when i went to their chalet i
had already missed them.
That girl that invited me to join that group made sure i had a good time at
Bowlie.
That girl was called Liz.
The Liz i talk of was from North London and would now be aged 29 or 30 as at
Bowlie she was 23, my age now (if my memory serves correct).
Back then she had long light brown hair and a little fringe.
I think she had eyes that were a bluey/green colour but i'm not sure.
Does this sound like it could possibly of been Liz Daplyn to you?
It's been on my mind for the last few days now...
I don't know what else to say...
Even if it is not the same Liz what has happened is, obviously, deeply
tragic and i send my thoughts and condolences.
If this sounds like another Liz please may i sincerley apologise for having
bothered you with this."
Since writing this email i have seen pictures and read some of Liz's posts
in the archives and have concluded that i am 99.99999% certain that this is
the same Liz.
i got a few details wrong about her age and stuff but from what i can gather
we are talking the same Lliz here.
It's not often that you have a random stranger be so kind and caring towards
you. It takes an amazing person to lift the spirits of a "problem" teenager
but Liz managed it.
I can not even comprehend how others on this list must be feeling right now
as i barely knew Liz and yet feel terrible for her loss.
i send my condolences and love to all of those that knew Liz.
i'm sure i can not be the only person that Liz has touched through her
actions and that she will forever live on in our memories.
Stay safe people.
lots of love and hugs
nalA
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_________________________________________________________________
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
It was back in '97 or so, right around the time that
_...Sinister_ came out, that I first heard B&S.
Shortly after that the list was born that this list is
a child of.
In January of '98 I met Elizabeth Daplyn on that list.
We flirted through emails and then the telephone until
I flew from Chicago (where I continue to reside) to
England to meet her. Our relationship lasted one year,
and during that time I went to England four times, and
she came to America twice.
We went to one B&S picnic together in NYC, but I never
had the opportunity to have the delicious cakes.
She and I were far too busy to bake ;-)
Two weeks before the bombings on July 7, Yahoo lost my
entire address book. I couldn't otherwise find Liz's
address, so I couldn't contact her. I joined this list
again (having dropped my subscription several years
ago due to time restrictions) to try to contact her.
My emails bounced because, until yesterday, I was in
the nursery. Thankfully Amanda, an old friend from the
list now living in England, emailed me to tell me that
Liz was on the list of missing. That was July 11th.
Through diligent detective work I was able to get a
hold of Liz's sister, Eleanor, and her Mom, Pam.
I've been in touch with them since the 12th.
Needless to say her tragic death has hurt me deeply.
Liz and I loved each other very much, and there was no
hurt between us due to the break up. Neither of us
were going to move across the Atlantic, so it was a
mutual agreement. Communication waned over the years,
and the last time I spoke to her on the phone was
September 11, '01. She called to make sure I was OK.
It tears me up that I couldn't do the same for her.
When the B&S DVD came out I consumed it. I spent many
hours going through every nook and cranny it had to
offer. By the end it made me cry. I guess I was sad it
was over. I emailed Liz to ask her what her thoughts
were on the DVD. She was dissapointed that it wasn't
more complete. That was the last communication we had.
It will be impossible for me to attend the funeral
tomorrow, but as it's been everyday since July 11th,
my heart will be with Eleanor and Pam and the family I
never met and Rob, whom I should like to meet someday
as we share such a special commonality.
I don't know that I'll ever be able to listen to B&S
again without crying.
Love to you all, and thank you again Amanda.
Aadam
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Dear All,
apparently we are facing a second day of havoc in London,
although the extent of the fact is nothing near what happened
only a couple of week ago, I just work down the road from
Warren street, one of the "isolated" tube stations.
get in toch if you been involved and need any help.
hope you are all well and safe.
love
stefano
--
Stefano
School of Biological Science
Queen Mary, University of London
Mile End Road
E1 4NS London
United Kingdom
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hello Sinister
I was going to write the Saturday before last, when I first saw Liz's
picture on News 24. I picked up my mobile and three times recomposed a text
to the one person I know [personally] who I thought had also met Liz. But I
couldn't get the words right. I wasn't grieving: whichever way I looked at
it, and I always try to avoid bandwagonning other people's grief.
But, as ever, it's the kindness and sensitivity of others in the aftermath
that touches me - the generosity of strangers, the bravery of the survivors.
It's the sign outside The Castle pub in Islington that says 'We are not
afraid!', even though some of us are.
I met Liz twice I think - once at the Astoria Karaoke (she made light work
of 'Heart of Glass', and I *think* at one of the London picnics. She was a
genuinely lovely person, it seemed to me, and I feel for those who're
missing her
At the same time, I feel for the families of the bombers - those of them who
were completely in the dark about their brother's, son's, cousin's
intentions. Surely their grief is twofold. And I feel for the innocent
people who live in those communities, and the police and community leaders
who are now faced with the possibility of a backlash.
I feel for my Goddaughter: the youngest Sinisterine; whose first birthday is
tomorrow. I worry what sort of place the world will be when she starts to
become aware of it. I wonder if she'll lose a friend some day, and I
wonder what I could possibly say to help ease her pain
Last week I listened to Antony and the Johnson's 'Hope there's someone' and
it made me feel much better, so I'll probably lend her that.
Take care of yourselves
Lorraine
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Right. There are 1500 of us. Didn't expect to be one
of the first, but here goes:
I met Liz a handful of times, but she sparkles in my
memories. As has been beautifully chronicalled on ilx,
she was magic.
I remember picnics, laughter, bowling, laughter, pubs
and more laughter. Oh, and rather fabulous cakes. How
can this girl be gone? Why does it make me cry? I
hardly knew her. It seems wrong when I try to explain
it but makes sense when I think of just how bloody
special she was.
When I didn't know anyone, or felt a bit awkward, Liz
was there, almost before I'd started feeling out of
it, drawing me into the group, making me laugh whether
it was talking about something serious or something
ridiculous (and she had an unimaginable talent for
sustaining such conversations!)
She deserves so much more. This is so, so sad.
Rob, Liz's family, and everyone who knew her properly,
I'm thinking and praying for Liz and all of you. Love,
hugs and home baking to you all.
L
x
___________________________________________________________
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I just wanted to send my condolences to Rob and Liz's family. I saw
Marianna's note on ILX last night and I didn't think it appropriate to post
there, as Sinister was the place where I met Liz. Rob, I don't know if
you're here anymore, I know that right now you will have many more things to
contend with, but I hope you can take some solace in the happiness that Liz
brought to so many others. I'm very sorry for your and the Daplyn family's
loss. May Liz's memory live with you and many Sinistereen's forever. Much
love and sadness, Katrina.
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
> Hi folks,
> I'm terribly sorry to hear about your friend Liz's death. I know it
> might be hard for your community to work through this and so I send
> along my condolences and best wishes for all of you, especially those
> that were close to her, in dealing with your loss. I would like to
> send my hopes for continued safety to Londoners, but unfortunately
> those hopes should probably be extended to any of you who reside in or
> visit any place that may turn up as a target of this kind of horrible
> violence. I just visited London for the first time a few months ago,
> and was impressed with the beauty and energy of the city, as well as
> the kindness extended to me by numerous strangers in everything from
> giving help with directions on the Tube to sharing a pint with a
> lonely traveller. I'm not surprised at all to hear about your
> resilience and bravery in dealing with the bombings. And although I'm
> not a Sinister member, I am involved in an online community somewhat
> similar, and know how vital these relationships can be, especially in
> hard times like the one you're going through now. So, as a non-member
> and an American, I'd like to humbly let you know I am thinking about
> all of you and hope in some small way this gesture may bolster the
> strength you already have.
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send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I would just like to say, I hope that nobody was greatly moved by Mayfly's
tragic story of 9-11. For anyone who was touched by that sad tale, you can
take comfort in knowing she never went to school in NY. On 9-11, she was living
in Rhode Island, you've been duped. It's a shame, but whatever, some people
are just a little crazy. Having the unfortunate mispleasure of knowing Diane
personally, I just want to take the liberty of letting everyone know that she
takes a great deal of pleasure in these little tales. Terminal illness and
the loss of parents to tragic suicides are other stories she likes to weave
into her mundane existence.
Kid, when are you going to grow up? Seriously, get a life, and take some god
damned responsibility for some kind of existence instead of having other
people feed off of your twisted and perverted imagination. You've grown up far
too slow, and I hoped that after the past few years you would have maybe
gained an ounce of common sense and decency, but I suppose you're just as depraved
and helpless to your compulsive ways as ever.
Sort your life out.
-Frank
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
