November 1998 - Sinister

Sinister: One more for the english vs. american thread
by Burt Reynolds 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

Hello all, Pulled this off the Moose Mansions website. I know this thread died and went to heaven weeks ago, but you MUST read this... Yer pal, Rachael Jo's Completely Factual and Not At All Juvenile Guide for Americans Visiting Britain I keep getting mail from Cornell students who ask my advice on travelling and researching in the UK -- apparently someone started a rumor that I knew something about it. I finally decided to compile a little guidebook containing my accumulated wisdom on the subject. I do fervently hope that someone will put it to use. Vocabulary The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say "I'd love to come to the pub but I haven't got any goolies." "Quid" is the modern word for what was once called a "shilling" -- the equivalent of seventeen cents American. Underpants are called "wellies" and friends are called "tossers." If you are fond of someone, you should tell him he is a "great tosser" -- he will be touched. The English are a notoriously demonstrative, tactile people, and if you want to fit in you should hold hands with your acquaintances and tossers when you walk down the street. Public nuzzling and licking are also encouraged, but only between people of the same sex. Habits Ever since their Tory government wholeheartedly embraced full union with Europe, the Brits have been attempting to adopt certain continental customs, such as the large midday meal followed by a two- or three-hour siesta , which they call a "wank." As this is still a fairly new practice in Britain, it is not uncommon for people to oversleep (alarm clocks, alas, do not work there due to the magnetic pull from Greenwich). If you are late for supper, simply apologize and explain that you were having a wank -- everyone will understand and forgive you. Universities University archives and manuscript collections are still governed by quaint medieval rules retained out of respect for tradition; hence patrons are expected to bring to the reading rooms their own ink-pots and a small knife for sharpening their pens. Observing these customs will signal the librarians that you are "in the know" -- one of the inner circle, as it were, for the rules are unwritten and not posted anywhere in the library. Likewise, it is customary to kiss the librarian on both cheeks when he brings a manuscript you've requested, a practice dating back to the reign of Henry VI. One of the most delighful ways to spend an afternoon in Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their flat-bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole. This is known as "cottaging." Many of the boats (called "yer-I-nals") are privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent them to the public by the hour. Just tell a professor or policeman that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to know where the public yerinals are. The poles must be treated with vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it's a good idea to buy a can of Crisco and have it on you when you ask directions to the yerinals. That way people will know you are an experienced cottager. Food British cuisine enjoys a well deserved reputation as the most sublime gastronomic pleasure available to man. Thanks to today's robust dollar, the American traveller can easily afford to dine out several times a week (rest assured that a British meal is worth interrupting your afternoon wank for). Few foreigners are aware that there are several grades of meat in the UK. The best cuts of meat, like the best bottles of gin, bear Her Majesty's seal, called the British Stamp of Excellence (BSE). When you go to a fine restaurant, tell your waiter you want BSE beef and won't settle for anything less. If he balks at your request, custom dictates that you jerk your head imperiously back and forth while rolling your eyes to show him who is boss. Once the waiter realizes you are a person of discriminating taste, he may offer to let you peruse the restaurant's list of exquisite British wines. If he doesn't, you should order one anyway. The best wine grapes grow on the steep, chalky hillsides of Yorkshire and East Anglia -- try an Ely '84 or Ripon '88 for a rare treat indeed. When the bill for your meal comes it will show a suggested amount. Pay whatever you think is fair, unless you plan to dine there again, in which case you should simply walk out; the restaurant host will understand that he should run a tab for you. Transportation Public taxis are subsidized by the Her Majesty's Government. A taxi ride in London costs two pounds, no matter how far you travel. If a taxi driver tries to overcharge you, you should yell "I think not, you charlatan!", then grab the nearest bobby and have the driver arrested. It is rarely necessary to take a taxi, though, since bus drivers are required to make detours at patrons' requests. Just board any bus, pay your fare of thruppence (the heavy gold-colored coins are "pence"), and state your destination clearly to the driver, e.g.: "Please take me to the British Library." A driver will frequently try to have a bit of harmless fun by pretending he doesn't go to your requested destination. Ignore him, as he is only teasing the American tourist (little does he know you're not so ignorant!). Speaking of the British Library, you should know that it has recently moved to a new location at Kew. Kew is a small fishing village in Wales. It can be reached by taking the train to Cardiff; once there, ask any local about the complimentary shuttle bus to Kew. (Don't forget that buses are called "prams" in England, and trains are called "bumbershoots"--it's a little confusing at first. Motorcycles are called "lorries" and the hospital, for reasons unknown, is called the "off-license." It's also very important to know that a "doctor" only means a PhD in England, not a physician. If you want a physician, you must ask for an "MP" (which stands for "master physician"). For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be the most economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman. Chivalry is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the Tube. Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube musicians. Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disurb the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a signal that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very few people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation. (If you have difficulty locating the Tube station, merely follow the signs that say "Subway" and ask one of the full-time attendants where you can catch the bumbershoot.) One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at Heathrow airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international Jewish peace organization -- the "shin" stands for "shalom"). As savvy travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority treatment as you make your way through customs; otherwise you could waste all day in line. You might, in fact, want to ask a customs agent to put a Shin Fane stamp in your passport, as it will expedite things on your return trip. Bollocks to your mum! ("farewell and good health to your family") -- Vectored by Moose Mansions (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2694/) ______________________________________________________ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: On the Buses
by Adrian Evans 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

I 'ate You..... All this talk of some of public transports finer moments has given me an idea for another Sinister game. Around this time of year we tend to experience some of the less interesting bus journeys with windows all steamed up with condensation, there's nothing to be seen. Not anymore kiddoes. Let us have a compy where we all write libelous remarks about our fave B&S members in the condensation. For instance, I could write "Stuart Murdoch drowned my kittens" on an Exeter bus, the Duke'll read it, inform the bands management and I'll be appearing at Exeter crown court in a matter of days. The one who gets the longest prison sentence (I assume a sentence will be imposed due to you's all being broke because of the amount of cash you spend on records) wins my toe-nail clippings. I'll start the game off with "Chris Geddes stole my sideburns", on next Tuesdays Exeter to London coach, keep your eyes peeled yer cockney twats. Love, Blakey. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Anyone here from Second Hand Tunes on 53rd St?
by Heather Marie Propes 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

Hello to the guy that works there. I forgot your name. This is Heather (glam rock DJ at WHPK, remember?). Thanks for getting me into Belle and Sebastian! They are really great. I'm living in California now and we're moving to Michigan in January. BTW - I think they used Cockney Rebel in Velvet Goldmine. Have you seen it yet? I think it's really great! Ciao! http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/asbuch/index.htm#hometop Heather Marie Propes asbuch(a)midway.uchicago.edu +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Do My Eyes Deceive Me?
by PJMiller 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

Stephan wrote: I'll give you the addresses of 5 other people and youd have to copy and post them. PLEASE, if you volunteer, make sure you have a good stereo at home, not just one you got 10 years ago for 100 bucks- the others want a good copy! Is it me? This IS a joke isn't it? I'm flabbergasted! Has anyone else noticed? Or is it just me? Talk about pushing back the boundaries of top comedy! Hats off! Peter +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The Short Bus
by Corpora Arenacea 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

I can't seem to find anything to coordinate with my "Study at Stow" shirt. I have a pair of bordeaux corduroys that I refuse to wear on any occasion that might coordinate but it doesn't seem that anything else quite goes with that powder blue. I went out to a movie with it on and my date was like, "you know, you really CLASH." Then: "I suppose you wanted it that way." I miss college. I miss having grey Sundays where I have nothing to do, where the world seems too soggy to even continue turning, days that I'd just get on the back of the bus and just ride around til dark, just me and my discman and the roar and squeak of the bus and an endless reel of dead wet leaves and deserted streets. Now in DC I'd dare not ride the bus, besides which it costs money and goes nowhere I'd wanna see anyhow. My school is so cruel, now. If you do really badly on a test, you get invited to a "special" class to help you do better on the next one.... a class which my colleagues have termed "The Short Bus", you know, like the ones that would bring the retarded kids to school. I think after my test yesterday I got invited. I'm too proud to go. I'd rather flunk out than be on the short bus. ______________________________________________________ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: bus stories
by Sam Norman 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

a vey short bus story. this morning whilst i was the 358 on the way to the station, i decided that i would do somethng totally out of character. i waited until the drivers change and the garage at green st green (i don't know why i told you that as i doubt anyone knows where green st. green is) i pulled out of my back pocket, wait for it, a wad of salako stickers thye lovely katrina and david had given me at last nights gig. i then finally managed to pluck up the courage to stick on the back of the seat, for everyone to see. B&S content: well it's more of a train story i suppose but after getting of the bus and getting the train to the smoke i was sat on the train next to a newe mother and her baby. well after about twenty minutes the baby being quiet the whole tome me listening to b&s on my walkman the woman tapped me on the sholder and said, "i'm terribly sorry, but i need to go to the toilet and i don't want to take my baby in there because there usually filthy so would you look after him?" a bit peturb i agreed - why choose me do i look as if i know one end from a baby to another. so the mother sat the baby on my lap. immediatley the baby started to cry. for his mother had abondoned him with some stranger with a red fleece. everyone on the train then looked round as if i was abusing this child so recently left in my care. then a thought occured to me. my walkman still playing. the lovely isobel and her sweet harmonies singing is it wicked? so i decided that i would sing along to it to the baby. immediatly the baby stopped crying and now i guess is b&s's youngest fan. the mother still hasn't returned and the baby is now sitting on the workbench here as i type at uni. (a lie - but it makes a rather sweet ending to the story i thought). bye +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Matters of cloth
by Martin Horsfield 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

Joss quoth the press: "Their trainspotter fans hide in well-worn anoraks and massive sideburns" And Ian fretted, "This was going to be like that day in the third grade when I wore purple on a Thursday..." All of which got me wondering, exactly what are you good people wearing today? I would guess the stereotypical image of B&S fans is wedge haircuts, black 501s with turn-ups, cardies or three quarter length suede jackets and Penguin books T-shirt for the boys, and short floral skirts, DM shoes, hair slides and woolly stockings for the girls. However, with all this talk of silver trousers, I suspect that there's more than a number of glamourpusses among you. For the record: Today I am sporting a hooded Carhartt fleece (sort of halfway between casual attire and spoddy dufell coat), an insouciant red V-neck, cords and fine pair of Over Cube boots which appear to be a fusion of the desert boot and the trainer. Tonight, I might well sport my Radio Caroline T-shirt (it's so much better than the Light Programme, don't you think?). But what about you? Clothes horse, or a load of old pony? PS/ B&S content: I'd dearly love to sport a Study At Stow T-shirt but, you know the score, only another 9 days (or maybe less) to go... "All we've done since we got here is drink wine and screw," "What do you suggest?" "Tomorrow let's pray for beer!" +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: links and photo's
by david kitchen - jeepster 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

i've updated the links page on the jeepster site and removed the press section - no-one submitted any! what a surprise :) but i've also gone and added a new section, 'photo sites'. this was in light of someone submitting the link for the black session photo's (which are very cool when the site is up - temperamental server by the looks of things). anyhow, this is just a message to let everyone who has photo's of the band or other b&s links that they want to submit to go ahead, the site has a feature whereby you can add links on your own :) and why should you bother? well the b&s site receives nearly 100,000 page hits a week, and just after merchandise and the discography the most visited page is the links page, so this will help a lot of people get to your site a lot easier. anyhow, the link? well just head to: http://www.jeepster.co.uk/cgi-bin/belle/links/links.cgi cheers david kitchen ----------------------------------------------------------------------- david kitchen : merchandising and websites : jeepster records http://www.jeepster.co.uk/ http://www.jeepster.co.uk/belleandsebastian/ mailto:shop@jeepster.co.uk jeepster recordings ltd, 217 canalot, 222 kensal road, london w10 5bn to subscribe to the news mailing list mail majordomo(a)jeepster.co.uk with the words 'subscribe news' in the body of the message there is no need to subscribe if you are on the 'sinister' list +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: In All Their Glory!!! Be There LIVE!!!!!
by rebelstrange＠ldd.net 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

yo all mack daddys on the sinister tip, me again, writing to inform you that in these very wee hours i have just finished (sic) construction (basic that is) on the pages of DC jpg's from our little adventure. there should be a few more up within days, as i have been twiddling in the darkroom to salvage those very dark negatives, which is a atask for me, as i'm a total beginner at this stuff, but i managed to make out some more.....not all professional, but i do have one photo of the rehearsal, it's sorta not great but you can see them......i didn't use flash during the show as i felt it would b eunsettling to be playing cello in your own little dream world and suddenly have some lardy ecstatic girl with your name around her neck start exploding bulbs in your face, and i was in fear of isobel's possible terrible seething rage that i am sure she has latent within that alabaster exterior and placid features...i digress. the page is as well as i could make it now, it looks ok, but i am having monitor color problems--so if anyone notices the color of the fonts is somehow unreadable, or anything is amiss, please let me knwo so i can deal with it if i can.....i just hope that you like the pictures, i think some of them are really really good myself.....and im very happy with them, it was a dream come true that i was able to capture the evening in such a way..... and you can see how sweet stuart looked when indeed he handed us the shy and shiny apple, he's smiling so kindly, i think anyone's mother would be proud to have him brought home to her, dont 'you agree? and the isobel.......no comment needed!! link: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Atrium/4967/bs.html please enjoy with my regards and tell me what you think of my labor she thought it would be fun to try photography lesley Jo +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: mugging
by Ian D. Thompson 13 Nov '98

13 Nov '98

Listee peeps, Neil wrote >B&S Content - what exactly is the 'mick cooke commerative mug' (sic)? I'm >tempted, but there's nothing worse than a diappointing mug is there. This fine piece of crockery is a celebration of Mick officially joining B&S. I recommend you rush out and buy one. Its got "B&S commemerate Mick Cooke officially joining 1998" or somesuch written on it and cartoony instruments pics and everything - just the thing to sip iced tea from, so I believe. I keep foreign coins in mine cos I dont like tea. Not as good as the Judy mug, but there you go. Ian no bus, no smut, no shoegazing 8) +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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