March 1998 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: In honor of Northy's Departure...
by Paige Rosella 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

My friend forwarded this to me yesterday. In light of recent events, I think it's quite funny. Of course, I forward this only in good humor, not out of spite. Paige >>> >>> W E L S H F R I C T I O N >>> >>> The Scene: John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson sitting in car >>> talking. >>> (Pulp Fiction music fades off...) >>> >>> S: Ok, so tell me again about the Welsh. >>> >>> J: Whaddya wanna know? >>> >>> S: Beastiality is legal there right? >>> >>> J: Yeah, its legal but it ain't a 100% legal. I mean you can't >>> just >>> walk >>> into a field, pick up a sheep and start pumpin' away. They >>> want >>> you to shag sheep in your home or certain designated places. >>> >>> S: And those are valleys? >>> >>> J: Ok, it breaks down like this: its legal to buy a sheep, its >>> legal >>> to own a sheep and if you're a farmer its legal to sell or loan >>> sheep, its ILLEGAL to fuck sheep in public but...but...but >>> that >>> doesn't matter 'cos, getta loada this, the police in Wales >>> are >>> too stupid to notice you've got a sheep hanging off your >>> dick. I >>> mean that's the intellect the police in Wales DON'T have. >>> >>> S: Arrr man. I'm not goin', that's all there is too it, I'm >>> never >>> fuckin' goin'. >>> >>> J: Nah man, you'd hate it the most. But do know what the >>> funniest >>> thing about Wales is? >>> >>> S: What? >>> >>> J: Its the little differences, I mean they got the same kinda >>> people >>> over there as we got here, but there they're a little different. >>> >>> S: Example. >>> >>> J: Ok. You can walk into a Movie theatre in Cardiff and order a >>> lump >>> of coal, and I'm not talkin' about no paper cup, I'm talkin' >>> about a >>> LUMP of coal. And in Swansea you can buy coal in McDonalds. >>> Do >>> you know what they call a 1/4 pounder with cheese in Wales? >>> >>> S: They don't call it a 1/4 pounder with cheese? >>> >>> J: Nah man, they don't have fractions, they wouldn't know what >>> the >>> fuck a 1/4 pounder is. >>> >>> S: So whadda they call it? >>> >>> J: A (assumes welsh accent) "Ham and Cheese Sandwhichchchch". >>> >>> S: A Ham and Cheese Sandwichchchchch? >>> >>> J: That's right. >>> >>> S: And whadda they call a Big Mac? >>> >>> J: A Big Macs a Big Mac but there they call it a Bich Machch >>> (accent >>> again). >>> >>> S: (imitating accent badly) A Bichch Machchchchchchch? >>> >>> J: Ha ha ha >>> >>> S: Whadda they call a Whopper? >>> >>> J: I don't know, I didn't go outside. Do you know what they put >>> on >>> French Fries in Swansea instead of ketchup? >>> >>> S: What? >>> >>> J: Coal. >>> >>> S: Arrr man... >>> >>> J: I've seen 'em do it man, they fuckin' drown 'um in that shit. >>> >>> >>> >>> And keeping on the theme of Welsh and their little pastimes... >>> >>> >>> Two welsh farmers were talking about their sheep. The first >>> farmer says "I'm not having any luck getting these sheep to breed." >>> >>> The second farmer replies "You have to do it yourself if you want >>> any >>> results." >>> >>> "What do you mean?" the first farmer asks curiously. >>> >>> "It's simple. Load them up in your lorry, take them around behind >>> the >>> barn, and do the business. Wait about three days, and you should >>> see >>> them start to act peculiarly." >>> >>> So the first farmer thinks about this, then decides he's going to >>> do >>> it. The next day, he loads the sheep up in the lorry, drives them >>> out >>> behind the barn and proceeds to screw each one in succession. >>> >>> Three days pass and he's sitting in the kitchen with his wife. >>> >>> "Look out of the window and tell me if those sheep are acting >>> peculiarly." says the farmer to his wife. >>> >>> "Nothing unusual" the wife responds. >>> >>> Upset, the farmer loads them up in the lorry the next day, drives >>> them >>> out behind the barn, and goes to town on them again. Three more >>> days >>> pass. >>> >>> "Those sheep doing anything funny?" says the farmer to his wife, >>> sitting in the kitchen. >>> >>> "Nope." she responds. >>> >>> Pissed off, the farmer decides to give it one more try. The very >>> next >>> day he loads them up in the lorry, drives them out behind the >>> barn, >>> and really screws their brains out. Three days pass, and once >>> again >>> he's sitting in the kitchen with his wife. >>> >>> "Those sheep doing anything peculiar?" he asks, hopefully. >>> >>> "As a matter of fact, yes.", replies the wife. "They're all >>> sitting in >>> the lorry, and one of them is honking the horn." >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where >>> the >>> following people are stranded: >>> * 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman >>> * 2 French men and 1 French woman >>> * 2 German men and 1 German woman >>> * 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman >>> * 2 English men and 1 English woman >>> * 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman >>> * 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman >>> * 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman >>> One month later on this beautiful deserted island in the middle of >>> nowhere! >>> * One Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman. >>> * The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily >>> together in >>> a "menage a trois"---. >>> * The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they >>> alternate with the German woman. >>> * The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman >>> is >>> cleaning and cooking for them. >>> * The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to >>> the >>> English woman. >>> * The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look >>> at the >>> woman and started swimming. >>> * The two Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide >>> while >>> the woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and the >>> true >>> nature of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and the taxes >>> are >>> low. >>> * The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and >>> setting up a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the >>> picture, cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of >>> coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren't getting >>> any... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

Sinister: his latest flame
by mctag＠mcmail.com 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

Blimey. It's a world war out there. Katrina was spot on of course, it was a very humbling letter. If I did flame, and OK, I did ... a little, I think most of us have done at some point, I have now emailed the victim, and hopefully, although I can't see us becoming lovers, it's cleared up a bit now. So that's a happy ending. In future I pledge that I will love and cherish each and every one, even if some people forgot my birthday ... I'm still waiting for ink polaroids from various Americans who, I gather, have been meeting. Laurel, Megan, Ben ... Chris, your play was great. So yes, Belle and Sebastian. I was listening to Modern Rock Song on the way to work yesterday, and I can't even begin to describe how good it sounded. You know, just when you think it can't get any better, it suddenly does. Sometimes it's good to go away from them for a little while and then just play one song, give it your undivided attention, it's almost as good as the first time. Try it. I'm going to Sweden, by the way. In two weeks. I'm very excited. An Swedes on the list should come to a club called K (at Hannas, I think), where I will playing records on April 11th (I think). So come and say hello. That's all. Love Tag xx ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

Sinister: calvin you stinkhead
by Sarah 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

ok, my messages are perhaps being censored, as my other one didn't appear on the last digest....i dont care... *sobs* HONEY!!!!! Everybody else told me off for writing about politics and now everyone else is and have THEY been shouted at? NOOOOOOO! DOUBLE STANDARDS! I HATE YOU ALL YOU SHALLOW VEGETABLE SHEEP! Anyway. THe Duke mentioned about organising *proper* protests. Well. at the current moment our college is organising petitions to be sent to County hall to protest against the Abolition of Free Transport. the last march was SUCh a failure, we don't know if there wil be an organised demo, but we will have lots of signatures, we have been writing to everyone. The problem is the trendy dudes. We should tell them that nasty man who rules the country is banning Kappa. Lord, i hate people. NOT all students are apatheitc, some if fact give a very BIG shit. Its only the priviliged uncaring that don't. We were talking today, I think that it is RIGHT to challenge "da system", but NOT by never doing anything and dropping out. What the FUCK does that achieve? NOTHING! I have a few friends who are planning to drop out of college. I have nothing to say to them anymore. They consider it "social control". The only way to get away from society and control is to kill yourself quite frankly. There are people EVERYWHERE. And I am also pissed off (hey i'm on a roll) with pretentious people thining they know EVERYTHING about P!O!P! when they bleedin' well don't buster. Yes, you LOVE Pop music. So its the most important thing in your life. It is NOT just another thing to elevate your social standings with, another thing to make yourself more self-righteous and pretentious about. POP is inspirational, FUN, beautiful, Sad, you can find ANY emotion in POP you want. My point being? I'M GOING NOW BYE!!!!!! Sarah starryone! mmmm......waffles.... http://www.elsato97.demon.co.uk ********************************* * FEATHER BOAS & NAPALM ZINE * * C'MON! PUNCH THE AIR! * * One Pound and A5 SAE * * 9 Westfield Drive, Warton * * Preston, Lancs * * PR4 1ED * ********************************* ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

Sinister: Puncture interview?
by Chris Borne 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

Did anyone else read the interview in Puncture (issue # 40)? The usual stuff, pretty positive on B&S, and a pic of Stuart M. and the lovely Isobel. Love to all, Chrispy ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

RE: Sinister: Seeing Other People's
by PJMiller 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

Christopher Alexander Leonard revealed: I went to a public toilet the other day. I was >standing at the urinal taking care of the matter in hand, and two >urinals along there was an old jakey bloke taking care of his matter in >hand Thank you Christopher. This is the kind of thing I'd like to see more of on the list. How about if every member of the list goes to their nearest public lavatory and waits around until something interesting happens? Don't worry if you're shy, some of them have helpful little peepholes drilled in the doors so no one will know that you're there. If we all do this I'm sure the results will put the PE / Big Tackle thread in the shade. In the likely event of seeing someone "at it" the lucky listee should burst out of their hiding place (if they have chosen to go undercover) and award the person in question a Crackerjack pencil and ask them what is the Meaning of True Pop. That way we can all kill two birds with one stone:- we get a toilet-related anecdote and another piece to put in the Great Pop Jigsaw to boot. Hey presto! I'm all confused as to which Northy is which. Trousers is Stephen Trousers of the Poetry Society. He must be ill because there was no Monday Poem this week. I quite like Super Furry Animals but I've never even heard Catatonic. Can't say I'm overly bothered though. Northy one day claimed to be a bit Welsh and then the next day his "thank God I'm Welsh" thing started appearing. Veterans of the Ivor the Engine Competition (which I won!) know that Welsh people are the tops, so relax, Huw. Go and get that Dark Side of the Moon album out again. You know it makes sense. Lie back and think of John Toshack. Some of you will remember that I was so blinded by jealousy after Tim's appearance in "Q" that I called him a "bloated drunken turnip". It was true, but I shouldn't have said it. After a sutably Pinteresque pause I have made my own attempt to get my name in "Q". I sent a B&S related question to Jarvis Cocker. I do hope they use it. Mainly because there's a twenty-five pound prize, which I suspect is more than Hopkins got. Did Taggart really die of a broken heart? Did you know Isaac Hayes used to be in The Rockford Files? Listen, this is pish, I think I'll shut up again. Peter ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

Sinister: chickfactor
by Angelina.DeGiovanni＠v2music.com 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

the new issue of chickfactor (#11) has two great huge interviews with isobel and sarah! it also has their lovely images on the front & back cover, and other interviews with the likes of momus, divine comedy, etc. check it out! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

Re: Sinister: the 'duke' speaks
by Essexdog5 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

In a message dated 3/25/98 10:24:56PM, you write: << You've still got your copies of Are You Scared To Get Happy haven't you.. >> Is this a rhetorical question? AYSTGH, along with Troutfishing In Leytonstone (on a lesser scale) used to make me leap about the room when I was about 17. And the Anorak City flexi that came with the BESTest issue of that finest of fanzines still runs through my mind on a regular basis. This was a fanzine that said (excuse the paraphrasing, but it's from a rather addled memory) "We were on a bus a few weeks ago and we saw a Hurrah! poster. Both Clare and I agreed that they'd used the WRONG shade of blue..." - and it smelt so good as well. I agree totally with the ideals of passion, idealism, SCREAMing, love/hate, etc that the venerable Duke espouses.... are all the young soul rebels are tucked up in their beds? (my own passion died circa summer '95, since you asked, or not, as the case may be). Hey, maybe that's why I'm a journalisty! Whatever. Stephen, shrinking by the second. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

3 3

Sinister: I didn't know B&S were about hate............
by northy 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

This list stinks all I have encountered from this list is hate. It has in fact soured my liking of B&S a litte. You know when you are listening to all those lovely lyrics about little people like JANE, stop to consider that you are all the perpertrators of such bad feelings towards me. Just ask members of the Catatonia list. They think this list stinks as well. Roll on Conservatives. Probably needn't bother now looking at Labour. Still, people should realise that both traffic jams and hierarchy are essential to a thriving economy. GOODBYE FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER I asked a question. I never said it was a "frigging service" oh actually I did. Oh well! bye Northy UNSUBSCRIBED ______________________________________________________ "Everyday, when I wake up, I thank the Lord I'm Welsh" Cerys Matthews - 1998 ________________________________________________________ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

4 4

Re: Sinister: Ramble with 22 percent B and S content
by Bramleys 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

>>Which leads me to B and S. I must have seen five or six hundred bands over >>the last fifteen years, but nothing remotely comparable to our hero/ines. >>How can this be explained? Are there any other people on the list around >>the age of 30 who feel the same? Jon.g and bethey are only fifteen: do you >>understand quite how unique this band are? Even though they shamble around >>on stage like a bunch of fools, the end result astonishes me every time. I think that the indescribable factor you are looking for is summed up by mr lachlan young on b&s: "it reminds me of being 15 again" so does this mean that b&s are best when a feeling of nostalgia exists, or if you're actually 15? does this mean they'll get better? are the older (than me) people happy that they had to shop around and then be rewarded with b&s, or are jon and I envied for diving right in? ho hum bethey ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0

Sinister: H.E.
by Mark Hester 26 Mar '98

26 Mar '98

Several of you have suggested that it might be better for people to wait until they are in their mid-twenties before going to university when they are more mature and know whther they really want to be there. I thought I'd better try to oppose this argument, diplomatically of course! I did all the things that those who say they 'wasted their time' (re going to nightclubs etc) did, but worked bloody hard as well and then had to endure quite a long period of unemployment as I graduated in 92 when there wasn't exactly a lot of work about. It was interesting reading the sleevenotes to IYFS which says quite a lot on this subject (in stark contrast to the crassness that you get on most albums) where mention is made of Sarah and Isobel's arts degrees not being worth the paper they're printed on etc. "But you could always temp for a while. or teach." This made me laugh as people were always saying this to me when I was on the dole! As if it was some sort of soft option for people who didn't know what they wanted to do! I thought, bloody hell, this is the most important job in the world.... a person is entrusted with determining the future of a generation (part of it, anyway) and this is how the vocation is regarded! What hope is there! It just so happened that teaching was the one thing I knew I DIDN'T want to do. Plus the fact I knew I wouldn't be any good at it. I thought back to the teachers in my school who couldn't control the class and thought, "Yep, that would be me". The dreadful thing was the teachers who were in that situation were dubbed 'floating teachers' and simply covered when other members of staff were away. There was one guy who was into amateur dramatics, the kids found out and used to down tools and refuse to do any work until he sang for them! As I remember the kids wound these teachers up in part because the 'floating teachers' made promises the kids knew they wouldn't keep. They would tell miscreants "If you do such and such I'll tell the headmaster" and the kids would just go "Yeah, right." The other irony in all this is that I was a good all-rounder at school (for that read 'spod') and so was spoilt for choice when it came to 'A' level choices. I chose science subjects because I thought there were better career prospects! For me, there was a great contrast between school and uni. The difference was chiefly one of respect. When I first arrived in Bristol, I thought "Why is everyone being nice to me?". I still don't fully appreciate why this was, but attributed it in part to growing up in suburban London, which I think has a dehumanising effect. I have made this point to some people and they've regarded it with scepticism, but I still think there's truth in it. It can be measured by how many people thank the driver when they get off a bus. In London, no-one does, in Oxford its about half and half and in Bristol it is pretty well everyone. I wonder what other people's experiences of this sort of thing are? Certainly a Glaswegian guy I met in Bristol contrasted the Glasgow Underground with the London one (on the former strangers speak to each other and on the latter its very rare for this to happen). Mark. -------------------------------------------------------- Mark Hester Engineering & Technology Elsevier Science Ltd The Boulevard Kidlington Oxon OX5 1GB UK Tel. +44 1865 843296 Fax +44 1865 853319 E-mail m.hester(a)elsevier.co.uk ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Listen, this is pish, I think I'll leave -----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 0