April 2000 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Jeepstergate
by The Narrow Wizard 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

My toes can talk and they're smiling at me. Ive been away for the weekend up in aviemore and some bizarre goings on have been observed. Firstly one of the folk I was away with handed me a sunday newspaper cos it had a belle and sebby article in, Waterman was at it again as you all know, complaining about our beloved band, daring to call them cheesey. well I can exclusively reveal that his plan is even more daring than that, cos I saw him at the weekend, he was in a back alley in aviemore meeting with a man referred to only as Struan. The two were chuckling to themselves and saying things like 'there's no such thing as bad publicity' and 'the country will be split but at least every person will buy either steps or B&S' If this media manipulation is shocking you should have heard what came next, Waterman offered Struan a healthy dose of cash if he would pen Steps' next chartbuster. The fiends. anyway, needles to say a weekend of alcohol abuse has left me way behind on my work, another 5,000 words to write and then I've gotta go through and correct the whole 18,000 word dissertation, by Friday. oh bugger. of to do some work now love and easter eggs owen With that the narrow wizard waggled his bushy eyebrows and disappeared in a flash of blue flame leaving behind only a faint smell of cinnamon +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: BOXING MONOPOLY (THE BALLAD OF DON KING)
by GEORGE HENRY DICKIE 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

PIMP PORN SLIME JIGGLYPUFF IS THE REINCARNATION OF ELVIS MMMMM IF U SEE SADNESS TELL HER I'M NOT GOING TO MEET HER TOMORROW I'M GOING TO TAKE DISOBEDIENCE OUT FOR SOME ICE CREAM MMMMMM I HOPE I DON'T BUMP INTO TROUBLE ON THE WAY MMMMMM I WANT TO PLAY MONOPOLY BLINDFOLDED WITH A GIRL WHO LIKES TO PLAY IN THE DARK I WANT TO PLAY MONOPOLY IN A PADDLING POOL WITH A GIRL WHO DOESN'T MIND GETTING WET MMMMMMM MMM I WISH I COULD CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY OWN INADEQUACIES MMMMMMMAYBE IT IS JUST W A PHASE E GA GA D O HELLO PEOPLE OF THE LIST W H SO B&S *LEGAL MAN* A MMMMMM T YES IT IS LIKE EUROTRASH MMMMM W FOR SOME REASON E AT FIRST IT REMINDED ME OF GRANGE HILL D O MMMMMM *JUDY IS A DICK SLAP* B I'M SURE SOME OF U E HAVE SAID IT IS AN INSTRUMENTAL C A MMMMMM AND IT REMINDS ME OF U THAT BEAUTIFUL INSTRUMENTAL PIECE S THAT NIGEL TUFNEL E IS WORKING ON IN THE FILM I *THIS IS SPINAL TAP* T MMMMMMM HE CALLED HIS PIECE I S *LICK MY LOVE PUMP* W MMMMMMMMM MAYBE *JUDY IS A DICK SLAP* H IS A TRIBUTE TO A T IT W MMMMMMAYBE E D WHEN I WAS ON JEEPSTER O MERCHANDISE POSTER SHAG MMMMMM I SAW VELOCITY GIRL HIDING BEHIND THE TIGERMILK POSTER MMMMMM SHE WAS ASLEEP WITH A HALF EATEN HAM SANDWICH IN HER HAND MMM I THOUGH MAYBE SHE WAS AN ART EXHIBIT SO I DIDN'T WAKE HER I JUST LEFT HER BUT NOW THE JEEPSTER SHOP IS CLOSED MMMMMM I WONDER IF SHE IS TRAPPED IN THERE MMMMMMM I HAVE SEEN SHELBY LYNNE AND IDLEWILD SINCE THE LAST TIME I SPOKE MMMM HANK LOVED SHELBY COUNTRY/SOUL/ROCK 'N' ROLL IDLEWILD MMMMMM I LIKE TO PRACTICE MY TEEN BOP SKILLS I LIKE THE FEELING OF BEING SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE AND FEELING TOTALLY ALONE I HAD MY COUSIN PIP AND HIS FAMILY AROUND OVER EASTER HE SAID HE INSTALLED MORRISSEY A MARBLE FIRE PLACE IN HIS MANSION IN MANCHESTER I CAN'T TELL U EXACTLY WHERE MMMMM CONFIDENTIAL ETC I'VE ALREADY STARTED DREAMING THAT NEXT TIME HE IS WORKING FOR MOZ I'M GOING TO HELP OUT MMMM HE HAS A 3YEAR OLD DAUGHTER CALLED GEORGIA MMMMMMM THEY CALL HER MATILDA AS SHE LOOKS LIKE MATILDA IN THE FILM MATILDA MM GREAT FILM MMMMMM SOMEBODY WILL BREAK HER HEART ONE DAY MY BROTHER WHO WORKS AT QVC THE SHOPPING CHANNEL GOT ME A QVC RULER ONE THAT THEY USE ON DA SHOW IF U EVER WATCH QVC U WILL KNOW HOW FAMOUS THESE RULERS R MMMMM I CAN'T STOP MEASURING THINGS MMMMMMMM ANOTHER BROTHER OF MINE IS STARTING WORK AT QVC TOMORROW MMMMMM 2 BROTHER WORKING AT QVC MMMMM I HOPE I DON'T END UP AT QVC ********************************************************************** SCOTT HOWARD - AN EXPLANATION! JESUS CHRIST DAD AN EXPLANATION! LOOK AT ME LOOK AT YOU -TEENWOLF ********************************************************************** MMMM IN MY DARK LOW TIMES I THINK OF SHARING A PINK GRAPEFRUIT WITH CHARLOTTE CHURCH IT MAKES ME SMILE FOR A WHILE LOVE AND STICKY CHOCOLATE KISSES WOW GHD 2000 ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: looking for a new family
by the angel blackwell 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

ugh...holidays can rot. how do i know it's monday morning??? 1 had the oddest car ride with my mother 2 everything's a little foggy 3 seriously contemplated which cd to play first, super furries or macy gray....macy fuckin gray... i won't embarrass myself by telling you all who won... thank god someone offered to burn their nick drake collection for me, because apparently he's the polkaroo of the music world, "we had a copy but someone just bought it..." hmmm...big hugs if you remember who the polkaroo was, now he talks and everything now...next their gonna have big bird with 2 working arms... you all seemed to have loverly easters, and then came the capps' household. you know you don't visit enough when your sister comes in the door and you don't recognize her...thank god for wine and guiness and b&s when you're tipsy by 8 and really wanna go to bed but hafta watch a&e with your mother... guess i should work now, hope everyone is being nice to diana now that she's over there...oh, yeah, all you cute boys watch out... the fuzzy angel blackwell ps someone make them play b&s here in the silly city of toronto... ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: It's it the water y'see. Well, it's in mine...
by Kev 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

Hello Sinister, Well, I got mistaken for a lady again today in Safeway. It's happened a couple of times before. There was some nasty oik behind me in the queue who kept shouting questions at the cashier who was clearly pig sick of being stuck there rubbing tins of beans over the scanner the whole bank holiday. She gave them a lovely withering look and said "excuse me, I'll be with you in a moment once I've served this lady". I giggled and the oiks burst out laughing. I felt really bad for the cashier, she looked up at me with a mortified expression started apologising madly. I don't think I look much like a girl, not really - I mean my hair is really quite short, I don't wear makeup or anything. I know I've got great breasts but that's besides the point. Oh well. The other memorable occasion when that happened was a few years back when I was trying to buy a jumper from BHS. I signed the Switch slip and the old dear at the till checked my signature and the card and then looked up at me and said "I'm sorry love but I can't let you pay with this - it says *Mr* Bishop here"..... Oh well. Anyway, people keep asking whether they're the only person in the world who hasn't heard Legal Man, well, you're not because I haven't either. Mainly because I can't listen to the radio for more than five minutes before I break down in tears. Or start kicking things. I must admit to being quite fond of the Eurotrash theme though (although not Eurotrash itself, obviously) so I'm really quite looking forward to it. Apparently Belle and Sebastian are poised for world domination, which is just a bit surreal. All summer it'll be something like Mayfly pumping out of all the open topped cars stuck at the lights rather than like, whatever else they usually play. That'll be bonkers, but at least we'll all get to say "told you so". I'd love to see them on Top of the Pops, kicking the drumkit over, breaking amps and all that good stuff. That's it, I think. I'm off to work on a hangover for tomorrow morning. It's still only three so it should be a doozy. Kev (misquoted, misshapen) x ps. Rob - well done for bringing up the Elian thing. I'm sure you're speaking for a lot of us - I for one couldn't quite belive what I was seeing. How much sillier can it get? pps. My spell checker wants me to replace "Kev" with "Kiev". Hmm. Maybe I will. Maybe. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: knickers!
by julesmarkham 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

knickers! Why has life been so vile to me this last month? If it's not abusive phonecalls from my brother at 2am it's the lack of phonecalls from people who were meant to call! I'm starting to distrust the telephone, that squatting plastic crab with a nasty bite that just lies there and glares of you all smug and full of the knowledge of all the power it holds over you. Maybe I should read that Ted Hughes poem 'do not pick up the telephone', or get one of those little pager things that tell you the number of who's calling. until then, I'm going to hide in my room and drink my whisky and listen to my new lambchop & Elliot smith albums and stick to letter writing! sullen and stroppy with the griffin off his leash jules x p.s: if you haven't heard of Elliot or lambchop, or have and liked it, drop me a line and I'll tape them or something... +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: a shorty but a goodie
by Lawrence Mikkelsen 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

The issue about "value for money" and the new Looper album is an interesting one. I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with 35 minute albums, and I've always been more concerned with the musical quality contained within. Take, for example, "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake. 27 minutes of pure genius, and not a moment too short. Actually, I don't know I could handle anything more than 27 minutes of something so emotionally intense. It was the shortest album I owned until I started buying Lucksmiths albums a few years ago. "First Tape" (with the giraffe on the cover) has 11 songs, and is only 23 minutes long! (About the same length as the last song on the Ultrasound album!) Felt's "Poem of the River" is only 26 minutes .... Hell, I could go on about this all day. The point is, I don't think that equating album length and value for money is entirely fair. What about, say, Alanis Morrissette's "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie". About 78 aweful minutes ..... I'd say a good short album is more 'value-packed' than a long arse one anyday. All that being say, the new B&S album could be a triple disc prog-rock epic and I'd be lapping up every second of it. (Anyone know when the Jeepster online store is up and running, BTW? I really want to pre-order my single and album.....) Oh, and don't you just LOVE the sound flares make as you run down stairs? Flares make me happy. Lawrence Mikkelsen http://www.akn.quik.co.nz/mikelsen/aboutme +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: what if i was sleeping instead of writing this
by pedro sim�es 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

slow hellos to all: i was reading alexander's post about the 'what ifs' and that made me think about millions of things that happened in my life so... if i hadn't met some of my presently best friends i would probably never being study theatre like i am and that would changed my future(do i have a future?), if i hadn't been curious about all the b&s newspapers articals i would never hear them and never read your beautiful posts,etc,etc. well, what if...? i have been in Lisbon for my best friend birthday this weekend and have been really drunk and really happy. though we had some police troubles it all ended well. i gaved her an elliott smith cd-single(baby britain) coz i haven't found a b&s one. well, i think she had loved it. someone(i can't remenber who)had send a post saying that would like to see b&s at least one more time before they suck or break up. hey, don't even say that, i have never seen them live coz they had never came here to portugal. i hope it happen this year or i have to go at some other country to see them... and i don't belive i have money for that this year( although i would really like to do it, iŽm sick of this country). so...i have to go now, sleeping and dreaming(i hope) love, Pedro ----------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ Email for Writers & Readers from www.malaspina.com http://www.malaspina.com/ Malaspina Great Books Homepage! http://www.mala.bc.ca/~mcneil/template.htm +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Warning...actual B&S content
by Steven 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

Today marks one week since my cat Louise got out and hasn't come back yet. It seems unlikely that I'll get to see her again. I love her very much and am very sad just thinking about it, but haven't given up hope yet. But...to help make things a little brighter here I got my hands on a promo copy of the new album. So I thought I'd tell you all about it. It is exactly the album I was hoping they'd make. Lots of extra strings ala ddn2 which I'm always a sucker for. The Stuart songs are just divine, all of them. His songwriting really just keeps getting better. There's one by Stevie(wrong girl) and one by Isobel(family tree) that we've heard live, but they get nice treatments. There is one song sung by another girl, I'm assuming it's Sarah, that is just great. Way better than any Isobel song, and I like Isobel's songs. The only song I haven't fallen totally for, al least not yet, is sung half by Isobel, and half by a deep voiced guy(Chris?). We'll see if it grows on me. I've still not hear Legal Man. I hope it's as good as this album. My credit card is burning a hole in my wallet just waiting for those damn official tour dates. I want to see them at least one more time before they start to suck or break up. thanks for listening, Steven +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: structuralism announces the death of the subject. discuss.
by Caroline Mary Browne 24 Apr '00

24 Apr '00

hello there list its me Caroline Ah dear, what with my finals in a week I find that I have plenty of time to be writing lengthy e-mails to sinister. things take on new meaning and dimension when the only thing you have to do with your time is study and study lots. television becomes a fascinating source of distraction. while flicking around there I was lucky enough to catch a rare showing of stadium rock. Bon Jovi were playing the classic you give love a bad name to an audience of girls who love the way their hair looks when it is dyed a very unnatural shade of blonde and cut the way Armstrong and Millers hair on so 90's is. They go out with boys who have stadium rock mullets. After the show they say they had a really wild time before driving of in their pickup truck. Ive also been catching up on Home and Away which is providing some classic moments of comedy. With the recent story of Duncan gone missing I thought `god the Stewarts really are the most unfortunate family in the world'. Bad things that have happened the Stewarts..... Alf has been shot, blown up (remember by Duncans school project), electricuted, hated by his wife Ailsa, had two heart attacks AND has his bait shop burned to the ground Ailsa has gone insane twice (remember when Bobby came out of the fridge), been held hostage in her own home, been sent to jail, been in car crashes and been paralysed, had her shop (the old one) set on fire, and the new one robbed while Duncan has fallen down a quary from which he emerged 12 years older with completely different facial features or was it just another actor? I think this should be reviewed by the makers of Home and Away as highly unrealistic drama and that the Stewarts should live the rest of their life in peaceful happiness. I do realise that this small bit of television reviewing probably appeals to a very small minority of home and away fans on the list but I feel it is important. Owen ....it is possible to get up to 2000 words written a day. You wouldnt think it but it is. it does mean that at the end of the day you type your thoughts as you think them and that you dream about typing and that the sound of the computer echoes in you inner ear but that goes after a few hours. your april plan should go fine. my april plan on the other hand goes a little something like this....... no. of subjects to cover: 15 days until exams start: 8 no. of subjects to cover a day: very very nearly 2 Anything is possible if you wish hard enough...said peter pan whoever said that Isobel's voice wasnt that bad has obviously not listened to the greenfields of foreverland which requires that, in order to hear her voice the volume be turned up very loud so that when you finish listening to the cd and turn on the radio you give yourself an awful fright. Isobel would never make it as a busker where her voice would be lost entirely in a sea of passerbyers. Well I suppose I better go and study ...lots bye bye list said Caroline xxxxxxyyyyyyyzzzzzzp. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: London Calling...
by Martin Robinson 23 Apr '00

23 Apr '00

Hello kids, I've abandoned you and I feel like I don't live here anymore. A bit like Jimmy Nail and Madonna I think you'll agree. But it's better to be away than a drunken fop, which unfortunately I am. I've just attended the Track and Field all dayer, and it was popfabulous and great. Honest... Saloon, Airport Girl, Starry's faves the Clientele, spotty geezer's Salako who we heckled to fill the gaps left by an absent member who left to get a job and real money. Apparently Jeepster pay their bands in monopoly money and dinner tokens. Which is nice... I should really also answer my Bowlie II criticisms while I can even though it is ancient news. I did indeed play a scarce part in the Sinister boys victory in the footy, but I left a space in the side for Long Shot Murdoch to take. And I did take a nasty kick on the first day for my unathletic troubles and sleep is important, like vitamins and toast. I've never been called a Collymore before, but it was nice to turn up and join the victory celebrations and not have the boring bit of actually watching the games or the hardship of playing them. Life kids can be GRATE. Actually, I'll shut up before I talk about spilling drinks, muppets and the philosphy of Seneca. Never expect too much kids... To the point anyway, without treading on anyone's toes the picnic in London on the 20th May is now on Greenwich Hill as it's much nearer New Cross and the 2000 Troubled Teenagers extravaganza in the evening. If anyone wants a fight about it I'll probably be in bed asleep so I don't care. It's just common sense isn't it? We'll sort out the details later but that's the score so deal with it. Sorry, I better go as I'm really very drunk I'm starting to fancy Jim Rockford on the telly and that's not right. Te ra, Martin ear confection recordings (http://www.send.demon.co.uk) P.S This email address is becoming increasingly moribund so anyone wishing to carry on abusing me should write to me at toescantalk(a)yahoo.com. Anyone who knows where the toes thing comes from is a little bit special in my book. Must go eat toast.... p.p.s. martin is a drunken fop indeed. any man who requires an illiterate sod like myself to proofread anything must indeed be inundated with booze. d matt. He's got a point, but he is an arse. oi, i have an arse, to be fair, but whether that can be described as my entire being is a point that has been much debated. People who have met D Matt will concur that there is not very much beyond his arseness that can be commented on. i was recently described as being a 'random very very drunk person'. i have cried myself to sleep ever since. but as for robinson, well, i have had the misfortune of seeing his hairy arse waking me up for the last three months. I'm a bit worried now, I'm starting to have an obsession with Jim Rockford on a level with penguins and I'm trusting the editing opinion of a drunken foppish flatmate who imagines seeing my crack at the crack of dawn. All very worrying really... Anyone know a good locksmith as I feel quite unsafe in the comfort of my own sleeping abode? incidentally, martin's toes can indeed talk, which is a very worrying and quite disturbing sight. Right I've not come here to be insulted, so in conclusion Matt is an arse, the picnic in London on the 20th is in GREENWICH and I spill drinks with distinction. But I'm sure Matt's got some alley he'd like to protrude before I click send... me and alley's, there's far too much talk about this. i plead innocent, yer 'onour. maybe one day i'll actually get round to posting myself about this alley thing. or maybe i should just lie low for a while and let it all blow over. we like each other really, honest. Jim Rockford now has a dressing gown on. It's all too much.... Te ra... +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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