November 2001 - Sinister

Sinister: The Independent
by Neil Robertson 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

There's an interview with the boy Murdoch in The Independent today. Neil +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Ann Summer mating (please don't read)
by Kenneth P Y Chu 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

I don't know what came over me on that last post. Sorry. I get very depressed during Christmas times too, cos I have to hear people WHINGING ABOUT CHRISTMAS all day. Just have a pint and get on with it. Either that, or listen to a great Christmas song by the Red Bull Dozers on http://www.cockscrew.com/rbd and feel all depressed and sorry for youself. People who always dress in nothing but courdroy and duffle coats are way better than goths. especially those who only buy them from second hand shops, cos that proves that they don't have the same taste as anyone else in the world and therefore indie. I like Jools Holland, he reminds me of me, basically, a twat. Hmm, ok actually he seems alright, and now B&S will be on his show and I can't wait. So, did anyone actually win a ticket to go see Stu M jam with Frank's Afro Beat? For anyone who is annoyed that Christmas is just an excuse for Capitalism and Commercialism, I would suggest you all buy "Anachists for Dummies", only £23.99 from all major bookstores - credit cards and bankers drafts accepted. Anachists is probably the wrong word anyway.. oh well who cares what the word is. For those of you interested, I did in fact have a sausage sandwich this morning and it was scrumptious as ever. Is that enough shite to balance out the useful information in the last post? Shite and Red Bulls Ken P.S.: Some info on getting rid of the virus kindly sent by Archel.... >>> perhaps you'd like to forward this to sinister as i think these are the most useful instructions for getting rid of this virus. it worked for me. apparently the virus doesn't do anything too nasty, but the inconvenience of it sending itself to everyone who's ever emailed you is bad enough. if you have outlook or outlook express don't even open emails with suspicious attachments - it can get through without you opening the attachment itself. ********************************* WORM_BADTRANS.B Risk rating: Virus type: Worm Destructive: No Aliases: W32/Badtrans-B, BADTRANS.B, W32/Badtrans@MM, W32.Badtrans.B@mm, W32/BadTrans.B-mm Description: This memory-resident Internet worm is a variant of WORM_BADTRANS.A. It propagates via MAPI32, has a Key Logger component, and arrives with randomly selected double-extension filenames. It does not require the email receiver to open the attachment for it to execute. It uses a known vulnerability in Internet Explorer-based email clients (Microsoft Outlook and Microsoft Outlook Express) to automatically execute the file attachment. This is also known as Automatic Execution of Embedded MIME type. Solution: 1. Delete the System\CP_25389.NLS file. 2. Click Start>Run, type Regedit then hit the Enter key. 3. Double click the following: HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE>Software>Microsoft >Windows>CurrentVersion>RunOnce 4. In the right panel, look for following registry value: kernel32 5. Click the registry value and then delete it. 6. Restart your system. 7. Scan your system with Trend Micro antivirus and delete all files detected as WORM_BADTRANS.B. To do this, Trend Micro customers must download the latest pattern file and scan their system. Other email users may use HouseCall, Trend Micro's free online virus scanner. if you don't delete the file and registry value first you won't be able to get rid of the virus when you scan for it. and you need a totally up to date antivirus scan because this one is brand new as of 24th november. good luck! archel xxx ps. sorry to send boring stuff like this to the list. <<< _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I'm Walking up to the Bus
by Gardiner, Stuart 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

George Harrison, RIP. Not as much of a tragedy as Douglas Adams' death earlier this year (because, let's face it, the Beatles were shit ;-) ) but still a shock. In other news, there's an ad for Storytelling doing the rounds on TV at the moment. The first half of the ad has an instrumental backing that sound suspiciously B&S. Keep an ear out for it... Also on a B&S theme, as of Monday, you will be able to go to www.bbc.co.uk/radio1 and vote for your favourite Record-of-the-Week from Mark and Lard's show; Jonathan David will be there amongst the options. Of course, I would never suggest that everyone votes for it as many times as they can to make it Number 1, because that would be cheating, wouldn't it? Disappointingly, for the first time ever, Selectadisc (aka the best record store in the Midlands) have let me down. They haven't got the Camera Obscura album in stock. Any suggestions where I might be able to get a copy? Meanwhile, the Tompaulin album is starting to grow on me, even though it's clearly not as good as their early stuff... I guess I'll have to go back to listening to David Bridie or The Whitlams... The problem with goths is that they take themselves waaaay too seriously. And that's definitely not a good thing. Personally I would be deeply offended if I was ever accused of taking myself seriously. Life's too short for that kind of thing. Oh, and apparently accoring to our Athenian correspondent, I now exude coolness like cheap cologne. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. But I like it, because it's the first time my name and 'coolness' have been used in the same sentence since, well, ever. Well, we're all getting excited about B&S's TV appearance tonight. A fine way to start the Christmas season; seeing in December in the company of B&S. But how will it go? The current betting odds are as follows: 1-5: B&S play "I'm Waking Up To Us" Evens: B&S play "I Love My Car" Evens: B&S play "Marx and Engels" Evens: B&S play "Jonathan David" 5-1: B&S play "The State I Am In" 500-1: B&S play "Electronic Renaissance" 3-1: Isobel doesn't appear because she's 'afraid of flying' 3-1: We spot a member of Sinister in the audience 2-1: We spot Neil or Katrina in the audience 10-1: Jools Holland accompanies the band on the piano 1-10: Jools Holland introduces the band by saying something in an annoying whiny voice Evens: Everyone goes to get another beer from the fridge as soon as The Lighthouse Family start playing 5000-1: Tom Jones appears onstage dressed as a gorilla 10 hours to go... Big Stu +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: we're a disaster
by 9852611 9852611 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

first sinister mail in two years - and it's nothing but list abuse!! anyway, the meet up board and forum on the jeepster site aren't working, so if anyone from the republic of ireland going to the gig in belfast wants to meet up - get in touch!! short but sweet, louise ps where has honey gone?? i miss his posts!! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Dog on Glue
by DansonHatcher＠aol.com 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

I've been getting up far to early lately, my body's well up for getting out of bed and walking about but the brainpower needed to perform such a task is still in the land of Zzzzzz . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .... . . . .. . . Like last night/this morning I woke up in the dark, I put my trousers on but "where the f**k is the zip", it's not there. I wonder if perhaps these are my sisters jeans? Then I saw the time, (quarter to five!!!) "oh no I can't be doing with getting up now" and I took off the jeans noticing that I'd put them on the wrong way round and went back to bed. Now at some point between then and half eight I had a dream about the jeans being Levi's and that all I needed to do was twist the rest of my body round to match the jeans. (to much telly does this to you) Then of couse as I wake up this morning I'm in a bit of a state cos I think that last night I'd been in The Exorcist (spinning body parts etc..). It sounds so silly now I think about it but at the time I was well spooked. and this is not the end, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs which turn out to be Sally the dog, after trying to climb in bed with me she got bored and wandered off into my sisters room. a few minutes later she came back to show me a hairbrush she'd stolen, she looked quite proud of herself and found it hard to tell her off and put the teethmarked brush back. Then I fell asleep I woke up again soon after cos Sally licking my arm, it felt really strange, not like normal dog tongue/slober/hot breath but all rough and hard instead. I looked down at her and the thought "what a mess", she looked like she'd eaten some make-up or something and had like strands of white foaming dribble hanging out her mouth and into a puddle on the carpet before her. I went into my Sisters room and the same mess was spread about in there so I clambered over the bomb-hit that is her room and on the other side there was tube with a leak, it appeared to be moisturiser , turns out it wasn't a tube of moisturiser but of "Homebase double action", me and you would call it superglue and thats why I'm typing with hardened fingertips and Sally's got a soap in her mouth. What really amazes me is that the lumps of glue that are hardest to get off are the bits on her tongue, I wouldn't have thought it would stick there very well with it being so wet. ,,,,,,,,,................///////////////ppppppp I think the crescendo of fuck up's has just reached it's peak, about a minute ago. I'm here telling you lot about this morning's events and I've just spilt Swiss Style Alpen all down the keyboard. Stupid, stupid, stupid.......(repeat to fade) Check out the animal art.... (( ' ' )) 'jj' Elephant If you've read this FAR you're an absolute STAR! James. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Christmas depression
by idleberry 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

For me, it's always as many things have been left unsaid or undone. I start to remember: how beautiful was that girl I was dating!... she was really fine... but I missed the chance to tell her how much I liked her. And then the year ends. Time's over! When the year ends, forget it!! Think of something new, wait until the next wave, and so on... Beto wrote: And what about that plans of taking theatre lessons? and going back to music school? And calling that friend of mine, that propably has already commited suicide? Oh, no, I didn't do any of these things... and the year ends. It's like everything we planned, everything we hoped was going to come true just turns to dust... dust downside in the ampullete. Christmas depression. Its real. It sucks. When I was 14, by the time I was, oooh, eighteen, I was going to be the new girlfriend of Johnny Depp, and I would have written four novels. This time last year, I got itchy feet. I felt frustrated and thats when I decided to write a fanzine. I was also intending on growning my hair (especially my fringe for that sexy smouldering snarly shoegazer chick effect) and wearing doc martens. The only thing I haven't done is buy doc Martens. But in the summer.. well, by now I was going to be living in a lovely flat somewhere in glasgow, with wooden floors and luxurious big windows and have a balcony where I could keep my bike and a few pot plants. The floors would be wooden, and I already had my choice of furniture from Habitat and Ikea. (By the way, its not pronounced Eye-key-ah, its iky-ah). I had two bedrooms, one done up in purple, or maybe a passionate red, with a TV and a sofa bed. I was going to be working for the BBC, and driving a little car (or "mo'ha" as they say in Eastenders.) around the streets of glasgow, with Belle And Sebastian playing. And I would drive by the bus stops and see fellow sinisterians looking all folorn in the rain and I'd offer them a lift. In the summer I had all these grand plans. The ones I made last winter have mostly come to fruition. A few years ago, I bought a set of oil paints. I was going to be a painter. A few years before that, when I was still at school, I bought flares- for the first time ever, had a hair cut, and painted my bag with tippex. And other changes at new year? hmm. I've bought all sorts of things to try and relieve some of my realisations that I am: a. getting older b. Not doing the things I had planned to do c. Better do something about it. I think 2001 has been 80% sucessful for me. So, SINISTER! (WAKEY WAKEY! I've finished with the boring me me me stuff) What are your plans for 2002? tell your dreams... this time next year, what are you doing? where are you? What are the things you really want to do? Have you done some of the things with 2001 as you had intended? Is anyone else getting Christmas blues? Why? What about? What are your deepest, deepest dreams? How badly do you want them? I went to this thing on Tuesday which was a promotional night at the Holyrood Hotel in Edinburgh for work. They were trying to sweet talk me and thirty odd other women into making syure that we book all our clients ingto their hotel. Our company contract is a big one.and had my tarot read. It was fantastic. I was paranoid she might guess stuff about me. I was in my work clothes, and I took off my name badge incase she spotted my foreign first name. I didn't nod or shake my head, I didn't utter a word. But she predicted a load of things. That I was into music. I played a musical instrument. I'm working to earn money, to keep a roof over my head. Its the sensible option, but my heart is pulling at me to follow it. Only my dreams in my heart aren't safe- working makes sure I have money. I'm probably doing two jobs at once. I have a passion for writing. Well, you work out how true it is. I'm a temp. Its not a career move. I play guitar and am thinking of forming a band with my boyfriend. I write. (I'm writing a story right now as it happens). I'm the editor of a fanzine. So its made me question my work even more- why am I doing this? its made me more determined to follow my heart. If anyones interested, I have this womans number. right, better go, I'm off to stirling in five minutes. Cheers idles ===== http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/corduroysmoke and the world did get covered in a thick haze of corduroy smoke. And it felt good. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just $8.95/month. http://geocities.yahoo.com/ps/info1 +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: alìbabàeiquarantaladroni
by Stefano Santabarbara 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

dear all Sinisters after, have completed to write a *so* boring thesis for *so* long, here i am, back and waiting for the defence day...mmhmhm... nothing to be much scared about anyway. after (2) have been almost fired by the france atomic agency, and had the real chance to join the army in a *very* proper time. after (3) .... I've found a postion in *london*, I feel I've beek really lucky.. for chanching rates of everyday lifestyle, improve my pour english, meet new people..... and most of all join sinister pic-nic which is something we, italian sinisters seriously *miss*.... take care stefano ::-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: -:-:-:-:-:-: Stefano (at present) | (from December, The 1st) Centro CNR Biologia Cellulare e Molecolare dell Piante | School of Biological Science Sez. Fis. Veget. Fotosintesi | Queen Mary College Università degli Studi di Milano | University of London Via Celoria 26 | Mile End Road 20133 Milano | London E1 4NS Italia/Italy | U.K. Stefano.santabarbara(a)unimi.it :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- :-:-:-:-:-: +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The future's looking wonderful...
by JAMES GILMER 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

Have you ever been reminded of something out of the blue and suddenly become totally obsessed with it again? A book? A movie? A band? For me, at the moment, it's a band; LUSH God, someone happened to remark that the Lush "Best of..." album was pretty good and I ended up diving into the box of all my old tapes at the back of the closet until I had dug up all my old Lush albums. It doesn't get much more lovely than Lush's SPLIT album, which includes classics like "Kiss Chase", "Light from a Dead Star", and the utterly crushing "When I die". And let's face it, "Ciao!" is the best break-up song EVER! So, now that that's out of the way, what should I be on about? Ian said: "you'll be pleased to know. L7's "pretend we're dead" is playing in the background and it seems appropriate" Bastard, you're the one that stuck those Beatles tunes in my head too, now I have to go diving back to my tape box and dig out HUNGRY FOR STINK and BRICKS ARE HEAVY. Honestly, L7 mentioned on the Sinister list, I'm only slightly less suprised then when Ministry was mentioned. I already had "Can I Run?" pounding in my head at the mention of L7. (that was a brotherly 'bastard', btw, meant with affection) Ahh, the songs of my youth... Idleberry mentioned the Corduroy Smoke message board, and you should all go there, because it is ace. Sarah Clarke earned a special place in my heart when she said of the Smiths; "It's even better when the batteries run out and you can stop listening to that whinging old git with flowers stuck up his arse" Beautiful. She also mentioned McCarthy, and it's nice to see that someone else remembers them. I think I still have a copy of THE ENRAGED WILL INHERIT THE EARTH somewhere around here. Robin Stout said; "I've been *dancing* to I'm Waking Up To Us." It's extremely danceable isn't it? Sadly, I've got it in the car right now, and driving and dancing don't go entirely well together. Archel (and others) mentioned the original animated form of Lord of the Rings, and I have to add that it is indeed ace. Rotoscope animation is the type of animation used, I believe. It makes the thing look a bit freaky doesn't it? The follow-up was the Return of the Kings animation, but it wasn't done in the same style or by Bakshi, and it's utter shit. Rachel (Sunset) had some god things to say about happiness, and I can't think of any better way to put what she said. All the points she made about happiness are the straight truth. She said: "the moments of happiness have overtaken the moments of sadness and I find myself believing that things could be ok. just that little bit more" ...and that's beautifully true. That's life. Joe made five points about his problems with Goths, and I'm not giving Joe shit, cause I dig where he's coming from, but the thing is that I can replace the word "Goths" with "indiekids" or "christians" or "frat boys" and all those points could still be considered true. Yeah, most goths are annoying, so are most indiekids, so is anyone defined by an 'image'. I mean, the whole pancake make-up and black lipgloss and stuff is really kind of silly, but then again, some of those too twee for school indiekids can look and be just as stupid. Let's face it, the indieboy listening to his Smiths tape and banging on about how the world is full of betrayal and falsehood as he scribbles out bad romantic poetry into his notebook is just as much a twat as the goth banging on about death and twilight and such as he listens to some shit goth trance metal on his headphones. Joe did say he thought it was just an attempt to pull, and of course it is, most of those 'images' are an attempt to pull. nafees said: "i used to think george bush looked like a monkey, now around christmas his ears have changed and he looks like an elf" Bad enough he looks like an elf, does he have to talk like he's running a fucking Dungeons & Dragons game? "We will defeat the EVIL ONE!! We will crush the EVIL!! Colin! Roll your D20 to see if your vorpol blade kills the EVIL TERRORIST GOBLIN!" The fuck is wrong with him? EVIL ONE? Is he reading the draft script for Lord of the Rings? I keep expecting Gollum to slouch out from behind the podium or something; "Precioussss? I waaants my precioussssss..." Rachel Fruitloop said: "most everything I have to say in this post is smutty or ridiculous" Thank goodness, there's been an annoying lack of smut on the list lately. Where is the smut of the old Sinister I know and love? Hmmm, a lot of people have said a lot of things about Christmas depression and how much they hate Christmas and I can see where they're coming from. But Christmas, like everything else, is what you make it. I will say that like Rachel, I started liking Christmas a lot more once I was old enough I could decide whether I wanted to go my relatives or not. I always hated half my relatives, and I certainly hated going through the motions of having to pack myself into a car and drive off to their houses or entertain them at mine. And being an atheist at Christmas can be annoying, but I moved beyond my angry atheist phase and into my amused atheist phase. The whole commercialism and capitalistic angle of it used to dig at me to, then I realized that it didn't matter. I'd give prezzies to my friends and the people I wanted to and that was it. I've already said how I think of Christmas as Santy Claus day, sure it's just a day like any other, but I'll be damned if I let anyone get in the way of me enjoying myself. Like just about everyone, I've got a lot of negative experiences tied up with the holiday season, and that part of it's always hard, but it's not so very different from the rest of the year. Plus, there's that little punky boy inside me that insists that no one is going to spoil his day. Fuck all the commercialism and religious idiots and crap false sentimentality, I will enjoy myself because I won't let the bastards win. There's been a lot of talk of love and friendship and betrayal and the like on the list again, and I'll be damned if I have anything earth shattering to say on the matter. I've got lots of stories to tell about being screwed over, about love and friendships falling through and fucking up, and I guess I could dwell on them, but they're past. The holidays do get me down, because I start thinking about people I miss, and you start thinking about regrets and all that. A girl I loved very much killed herself not long ago. It didn't come as much of a suprise. She'd been dead almost two months when I found out, a mutual friend told me. We'd dated for a short time years ago, right after high school, and one night we were kissing and I slid my hand up her sleeve and felt the scars on her arm. She was a cutter, and she'd use a razor to carve herself up. Quite badly too. She had carved words like 'hopeless' into her arm. You'd never have known it from looking at her, she'd always wear long-sleeved shirts to cover the scars for one thing. She was a gorgeous young girl and she had a smile like you wouldn't believe. She cut because she said she didn't feel any control in her life, and she hated herself because she blamed herself for what her father had did to her when she was younger. And she told me, quite calmly, that she'd kill herself for real someday. We drifted apart, for various reasons, mainly because she couldn't handle a relationship and I didn't think I was helping, because I was just confusing her. The night I found the scars, we had talked in the back of a coffee shop, and we kissed and held hands and she said she never wanted to let go of my hand, and she didn't let go of my hand until we were at her house. She let go of everything a few years later. I knew another girl who'd been badly abused. Her father had once broken three of her fingers with a hammer because she'd shoplifted. She had a lot of problems emotionally, but we used to work together and she'd make me laugh every night, and she survived and she's got a family now and a kid and she's happy. My best friend recently announced he's having a baby, and he's got a great wife and a great job and he's one of the nicest, most stable people you'll ever meet, and once upon a time he'd told me he didn't want to live to see twenty-one and he devoured every drug he could and did everything he could to make sure he wouldn't. Then one day he met someone he could love and he cleaned himself up and now he loves life with a passion you wouldn't believe. The good and the bad. That's life, how you deal with it and how you take it. I do get sad at this time of year. The hypocrits and their false love and joy they plaster on just for show, and the commercialism, and the lonely people I see and talk to, and all the sadness that goes along with the holidays, even though were not supposed to notice it or mention it. Fuck that noise, there's a better world out there, behind all the bullshit. Find the people, and places, and things that make you happy and hold onto them. We only get one shot at life, so enjoy it. None of us are alone, just look at this list, everyone goes through the dumps and gets the short end of love and everyone gets the highs and the lows. We're all living inside the same skin, dealing with all the little horrors of being human. I'm nearing the rambling stage I'm afraid, and I've fallen into seriousness and sad bastardy near the end of the post. Ah, bugger it, the old hippie inside me is showing. Cheers and shouts to Laura Llew, Kirsten, Rachel Fruitylooper, Elise, and the rest of my friends. And a tip of the glass and happy thoughts to all the lonely people, I know things might suck, but there's better things out there, and I hope you all find them. Jim _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I don't know, but like you just said...
by tom p 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

hullo there, I'm back in lovely isolated Cornwall, after a couple of weeks of going to friends' birthday parties around the country, and it seems very lonely by comparison. That's because it is. (Lots of people v. Three people, see?). But it was wonderful seeing people I've been out of touch with for months. We went to see Pulp. They were, of course, fantastic. With the Manics having now gone officially, irrevocably shite, Pulp have got to be the band of our generation (whichever generation that is). Jarvis drew a monkey for us. One of my friends has got a project, you see, getting people to draw rubbish monkeys for her, which she hopes to display eventually. Obviously, celebrity monkeys are an important part of this, so we hung around in the (very) cold, waiting for Jarvis. He was really nice about it - if slightly perplexed - and drew a fabulous monkey. It's saying "I'm a bad monkey". We invited him back for tea, but he said he had to get off in a hurry. If anybody has any other celebrity monkeys, they'd be gratefully received. The uncomfortable feeling of leaving things behind seems to be everywhere. Like: the boy who first really got me into B & S, the boy who's life revolved around them - so, when I fell in love with him, it was only natural that I fall in love with them too - he's finding his interest in them just isn't there any more. I haven't bothered to buy the single. Another friend hasn't bought anything since Legal Man. It's not that some people being slightly less excited by a single is a big deal...it just seems symptomatic of a bigger harrumph. When everybody was sending out epigrammatic little comments on love recently, I was going to say that love is the most wonderful mistake any of us will ever make. And I think... I think that's the problem. Because love necessitates occasional readjustments, shifts in perspective, and because none of it made sense in the first place, you never know what you're going to find on the other side. So, you're suddenly in a different place to someone, or something changes in style somehow, and because the point of contact's changed, there's a period of uncertainty. You can't even be sure if there's still love there. And so change, if you've loved too much, can be worrying. But then, so can lions. The cows in the field opposite my window aren't there any more. I don't know where they've gone, or when they'll be back. Maybe they won't be back until next springtime. The field looks terribly empty without them. But there's always springtime. affection, tom (Soundtrack: Pulp - Something Changed, Sorted..., F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E. Suede - The Power, New Generation, The 2 Of Us DMX Krew - Street Boys) -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- tom p, currently somewhere in darkest cornwall tom(a)fatfatpope.com "...a man with a phil oakey haircut..." the stage ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: but now old friends are acting strange
by Kirsten Kenyon 30 Nov '01

30 Nov '01

sorry to post again so quickly. but i don't have anything better to do. you're laughing at me... heh. today at work, the music was better than most days. i can't say it was great, but it was....better. well. some of it was great. 'imagine' came on, and i was standing behind the counter and wiping salt and pepper shakers, and eradio was warming dinner rolls a few feet away. i heard him sort of laugh in a way that suggested he was laughing only to cover up an entirely different sort of noise, and i looked up and his eyes were welling over with tears, and he was hastily shoving the rolls into the toaster oven and looking down. so i looked down. and he said something quietly in spanish, and i looked up again. he looked back at me. and he spoke again. the song...it reminds him of his wife in mexico, of sitting and drinking wine and watching her laugh. that's what he said, anyway. and he opened his eyes very wide and then rapidly closed and opened them again a few times, then went back to work. and i thought of him....coming here, to america, and working in a kitchen to support his wife, a woman he hasn't seen in three years. and i pictured a young mexican couple, looking happy....drinking wine and singing along to 'imagine.' and eradio's english isn't that great.....he probably didn't know all of the words. but i can just picture it, the two of them in little wooden chairs, smiling and holding hands and raising their glasses..... so. i was sitting there thinking too hard, and i knocked over a salt shaker and spilled it everywhere. and someone reminded me to throw some over my shoulder, and i smiled but i didn't do it. i'm not quite superstitious. when we were very young, someone told my brother and i that we would have good luck for all our years if we could get close enough to sprinkle salt on the tail of a sparrow. i remember sitting by the kitchen window and watching with amusement as david crept around the yard, a can of morton salt in one hand and a catcher's mitt on the other....because if he could get close enough to salt the bird, surely he would be within a reasonable distance to grab the bird itself, which was far more exciting. he never did it, though. i think it's funny how we sort of...switched, in a way. not in terms of superstition....but. well. maybe not. i think i'm still reasonable. maybe he just became more.... he thinks i'm insane, which is sort of fun. things are looking better than ever. and i'm off to take a nap. love kirsten Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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