Saw in the NME this week a bit about some bunch of losers whose "sole
trick is to combine piss-poor sub-Don Maclean lyrics with nicked Kirsty
MacColl riffs".
Well, I was always the world's biggest Don Maclean AND Kirsty MacColl
fan, so that must some damned fine band...
;-))))))))))))))))))
Oh, and hi to Nessie!
Stu, who's still in search of a Sunday night (audio) tape. Any offers?
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People just don't like Belle & Sebastian, they're hopelessly
devoted to them. Among tonight's collections of hipsters,
Habitat squares, C86 revivalists and out-patients, there are
people who've trekked from America* and Japan. Why? Because
the Belle & Sebastian songbook is crammed with tales of
feckless idealists who, although hemmed in by boorish
reality, demand the earth. We've a disquieting sense that
they harbour the sane, giddy romantic part of us that age
has whittled away. And they make our compromised spirits
soar anew.
We expect tonight to merely, if deliriously, confirm what we
already know - that we love them more than life itself. And,
bless their enigmatic Scottish socks, they've tried to make
it A Special Experience. Hence the venue, a gilt-edged grand
hall, and the following day's matinee performance. It's not
quite Spike Island, but it's getting there.
As opener "Put The Book Back On The Shelf" stumbles to a
close, though, we're already beginning to wonder if we've
fallen for a band we never really knew. There should be
pandemonium, voices punching through the rafters, but the
painfully quiet PA means that no one even murmurs. Stuart
Murdoch attempts a shimmy during a jauntier "I Don't Love
Anyone" and a few people take his lead. But it's hopefully
self-conscious.
During the interminable breaks between songs, as instruments
are swapped and beers retrieved, there's utter silence. This
reverence, or crippling awkwardness, wholly dissipates any
gathering excitement. At time, as the band talk amongst
themselves, it's like we're unwelcome guests in their
rehearsal room. Gigs by bands that act as magnets for rock's
outsiders have traditionally been wildly celebratory
affairs; they're about bonding and blossoming. But nothing
encourages that here, especially not eight new songs in a
14-song set.
There are some fun moments though, such as Stevie ending his
spectacularly spastic Orange Juice-esque solo during "Dylan"
by playing the guitar with his teeth, but the cheekily
charismatic bunch we'd expected are absent. They look
baffled by our presence and often panicked at their own lack
of cohesion. Perhaps they should, hey, practise a little and
relax. There is a middle ground between The Pastels and M
People, you know.
It is possible, among the debris, to glimpse greatness.
"Photo Jenny" and newie "Dirty Dream" hint at Belle &
Sebastian's oft overlooked Northern-tinged pop potential.
"Chick Factor", even with its wildly out-of-tune Mellotron,
rolls and swells like you're falling in love - the Velvets at
their most preciously Fisher Price. "Is It Wicked?" (sung by
a terrified Isobel) is gorgeous and the closing
"Rollercoaster Ride" features Stuart's voice at its strong,
plaintive best. Marry this with some beautiful crescendos of
Marr-ish guitar and mournful trumpet flourishes and it's
something you're going to treasure for life. On vinyl.
Manchester has rarely witnessed such embittered post-gig
arguments. Indeed, the clap-happy souls, chuffed simply to
be in the same room as their heroes, are undeterred But we,
the sane, expected a gig (albeit a roughly hewn one) that
would become a byword for everything uniquely elevating
about going to watch a band. Instead, we got a rehearsal for
a sixth-form revue.
Comedy, someone once said, is the gap between expectation
and reality. Clearly, they'd never seen Belle & Sebastian
play live.
Tony Naylor
phew, so much typing. good practice for the chat room i guess...
andy
*hey, bun, they're talking about you 8)
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Nicely jumpered skinny students suck feverishly on
white-pack Silk Cut surrogate tits and titter tweely at
every feeble onstage witticism. Oh! It's all so oh-so coy
and warm and happy-clappy cosy! This ever-so-slappable crowd
of shit-eating indie-schmindie sheep are apparently not even
slightly pissed off that they've had to queue outside in the
freezing rain for over an hour (while a B&S employee tossed
them compensatory ice-creams).
"Integrity seems to be the key word," mumbles singer Stuart
Murdoch (apropos absolutely f-ing nothing) to general
laughter and a smattering of clapping. "Wanky, half-arsed,
cackhanded and utterly insulting amateurism," would be
closer to the f-ing mark (don't piss on me and tell me it's
raining, twat).
This is the matinee show. Belle & Sebastian have sold out
Manchester's amazing Victorian town hall twice in one day.
The perform in the round, the stage a speaker-stacked black
modernist slab slapped in the exact centre of a stunning
gothic-arched and gold-leafed beige-stone Christmas cake.
The acoustics are thus totally f-ed and the insultingly
desultory attempts at audience communication (during the
frequent equipment breakdowns) reduced to mere whispered
mumblings.
And yet, despite the fact that Belle & Sebastian's sole
trick is to combine piss-poor sub-Don McLean lyrics with
nicked Kirsty MacColl riffs, there is the merest whiff of
real magic here. Even the most cynical folkophobic would
find it hard not to twitch and shudder with near sexual
pleasure at the throbbing muscle layered upon tracks like
"The Stars Of Track And Field" and "The Fox In The Snow"
(the recorded versions of which remain puke-inducingly
whimsical and twee). But it's never enough to overcome the
overwhelming stench of smug, cutesy-wutesy, mumsy-wumsy,
Jack Straw-approved suburban shite.
Manchester Town Hall is an over-the-top, totally
in-your-face and utterly awesome shrine to late-Victorian
bourgeois triumphalism. Today it showcases a band who, more
than any other, epitomise the tediously understated,
wilfully inadequate and teeth-grindingly irritating school
of aesthetically neutered and ideologically castrated
middle-class, too-thick-for-art-school Blair Rock.
A punter, seeing a hack scribble furiously, approaches and
demands that NME doesn't compare Belle & Sebastian to "Felt,
Nick Cave, The Smiths..." and a whole load of shit
anti--rock bands because "that would be lazy".
OK, how about The Carpenters without the camp? Burt
Bacharach without the balls? Jonathan Richman without th
jokes? Crowded House without the incisive lyrical insights?
Or maybe The Velvet Underground without the tunes, looks,
attitude, politics, style, asthetics, vision, talent,
charisma, sunglasses, black turtle-neck sweaters or f-ing
drugs? That do you? I mean, you seem so easily pleased.
Steven Wells
(andy clutches his handbag in front of him and goes
"oooooooo-ooooooooooooo")
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Technical competence
> <<A CD player reads a single circuit on a CD and the sum of all
> the bits on that circuit doesn't match the checksum stored at the end
> of that circuit then it will skip. All oversampling CD players do is
> attempt to read the circuit a number of times in an attempt to get it
> correct before actually playing it, they will also skip if unable to
> match the checksum.>>
Oops, indeed I should keep this sort of shite in the comfort of my own home.
This was more of a reply to the original point about CD's sounding worse was
made by one Cateran of Glasgow who's got a strange fetish about taking the
piss out of people who aren't as "knowledgable" as he is on matters
technical, which I'd say is pretty sad for a 35 year old.
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Dina Passman wrote:
i know i will offend some by saying this, but the walker brothers kick
scott's solo ass by a mile. (i have yet to hear the jacques brel
record-so hold your tongues!)
my advice > the walker brothers compilation called "after the lights
go out" - fabulous...
Stuff and nonsense !
Scott 4 is the greatest record ever made. This has been scientifically
proved by teams of experts. Although the Walker Bros were frequently
wonderful (and at times hilarious, there a version of 'Land of 1,000
Dances' to prove this) Scott's solo oeuvre is generally far superior. The
best place to start is "Boychild" a compilation of his first few solo LPs.
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>2. Bought Joy Division album after hearing great things about them.
>It was shit. Took it back to HMV and said it was the wrong album.
>Got HMV tokens to the full price of album. These helpfully
>contributed to the purchase of my brother in laws christmas present
You what ?
How can you rant and rant and rant on and on and on about Radiohead ( on the Bellend Sebastian list, one might point out) and have a poke at Joy Division is beyond me.
In comparison, listning to Joy Division makes me positively HAPPY !
This is going to upset a fair few people, but the way I see it is, the chorus of every Radiohead song might just as well read :
"Oh God ! I'm so hard done by.
I use to be a student you know.
I used to study art by paedophiles...at Exeter University,
and take lots and lots of bad drugs,
and now I look like one...
Oh God ! I'm so hard done by....
Waaaaaiiiiiillllllll....Waaaiiiillllll."
Starts some horrendous guitar solo, with at least half a dozen wrong notes by some geezer with a rank haircut
I realise this is bordering on libelous and of course wouldn't really say things about Thom Yorke that I couldn't substantiate.
How they can ever be compared to Pink Floyd though ??? Well it's a crime.
I'm obviously getting just a tadge too old !
--
Adrian.
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Stuart M. can't be Tintin, because it's a well known fact that Jimmy
Somerville is the Belgian sleuth, and there's only room for one.
On exchanges in Record shops, a friend of mine usually says that he was
given them as presents but already had one & I think that's worked so far.
I managed to get the Virgin Megastore on Oxford Street to exchange a 12
inch single that I'd bought but someone then gave me the next day as a
congratulations present - naturally I kept the one he gave me & took back
the other.
There's a lovely story about someone who collected coupons from an lp for
a free 7 which you had to send off for (maybe by the Clash?) by repeatedly
taking the record back and exchanging it, being very careful to get a
different assistant each time. He got enough for a good number of the
singles & then gave them out at his college in the spirit of evangelism
that overtakes us all sometimes.
Lucy
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> ----------
> From: ELIZABETH DAPLYN
> Sent: 14 January 1998 12:39
> To: 'sinister(a)majordomo.net'
> Subject: Ve Haff Ze Teknologie
>
> Hello all you people. I am extremely worried about certain
> members of the list who appear to be showing symptoms of technical
> competence and awareness of mechanical issues in relation to music
> recording systems:
>
> <<A CD player reads a single circuit on a CD and the sum of all
> the bits on that circuit doesn't match the checksum stored at the end
> of that circuit then it will skip. All oversampling CD players do is
> attempt to read the circuit a number of times in an attempt to get it
> correct before actually playing it, they will also skip if unable to
> match the checksum.>>
>
> This is very scary, and should be stopped as soon as possible,
> preferably by electro-shock "therapy". Or with huge amounts of
> psycho-repressive drugs. Or something.
> On the subject of mental health, did anyone apart from
> me and my friend Charlotte watch or remember the series Taking Over
> The Asylum which was on a couple of years ago on BBC 2? For those who
> didn't, it was about a double-glazing salesman who was also an amateur
> radio DJ who got relegated to the post of spare-time Station Head at a
> mental hospital in Glasgow, and the various japes (suicide, job loss,
> Spike Milligan) which ensued. I just mention it because
> a)it was fantashtic;
> b)it had a kind of B&S feel to it, now that I come to think
> about it, in the sort of hopelessly grim romanticism which we all know
> and love.
>
> Regarding the Albert Hall:
>
> There are also choir seats and some really bad sightline seats
> which you
> can't really sell.
>
> >>I KNOW! I was in the Schools Prom in 1996 (ah, when I was but a wee
> A-level student. How time flies) and the choir I was in was placed in
> those selfsame choir stalls (not unnaturally) which proceeded to
> terrify us: we were very high up, we were next to the bass organ pipes
> (pretty fuckin' loud, since you ask), the leg-room is cripplingly
> absent, and we were all in permanent danger of leaning too far out
> while standing up to sing and falling right out of the bastards.
> These pieces of furniture are NOT comfortable places to be, take my
> word for it, darlings.
> Having said that, however, the Hall itself is a lovely place,
> although I'm not quite sure what purpose the giant ceramic mushrooms
> suspended from the ceiling serve.
>
> Hmm, I really do think that Radiohead fans just don't like music
>
> >>Thank you very much, mister. I personally hate all tunefulness,
> truth and beauty. I only like eardrum-shattering squeals and strange
> clankings sounds, and would much prefer it if all pop music vocals
> were done by the computerised voice from Fitter, Happier. Then, oh if
> only, the world would be a much better place. Oh, and it goes without
> saying that I revile Belle & Sebastian too. Obviously. I'll just go
> off and drown some kittens now shall I, with Pablo Honey playing in
> the background.
>
> If one must decide which cartoon characters the members of
> Belle and
> Sebastian have a resemblance to, then it recently occurred to me
> how much
> Stuart M. reminds me of Tintin, the reporter.
>
> >>No no no! Stuart is the cartoon Sebastian from the 80s series,
> still looking for his mum and getting into amusing situations with
> circuses and the like,
>
> and the Dog On Wheels is
> Snowy
>
> >>OBVIOUSLY, it's Belle, the Pyreneean Mountain dog from the series.
> Good grief, have you no soul?
> People have written to the list about a 70s live-action series
> called Belle & Sebastian, which I, not being born until 1978, did not
> glimpse. Was the later cartoon series based on the live-action one,
> or is it a particularly spooky coincidence?
>
> HoneyPaul, great online photties of the band at Manchester. Mmm, I
> never knew looking up La Murdoch's nostrils would be so alluring...
> Are there going to be more pictures? I particularly want to see the
> lauded vixen Mick, and also Wee Chris's pantaloons.
>
> Anyway, I believe I'm supposed to be going down to the darkroom to
> develop some pictures of a wall or something, so I'd better go now.
>
> Oh, can anyone recommend a starter album of Scott Walker? Neil Hannon
> does sound awfully like him, doesn't he?
>
Sorry, I just realised I sent that off without my name or anything on
the bottom, because the arseing AutoSignature on the college network is
buggered. I've just had to create a new one. Ho hum.
ByeBye,
Liz.
(edaplynr3n00297(a)kiadroch.kiad.ac.uk)
*******************************
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost
*******************************
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> we're back with
> the option of taping to gain an idea of whether or not you like something.
>
> which brings us back to square one...
you can borrow albums from the library y'know
+ two examples from me
1. Bought Vanishing Point - Primal Scream. It was shite. Took it
back to Woolworths and said it was the wrong album. No questions
asked and I was fully refunded with CASH.
2. Bought Joy Division album after hearing great things about them.
It was shit. Took it back to HMV and said it was the wrong album.
Got HMV tokens to the full price of album. These helpfully
contributed to the purchase of my brother in laws christmas present.
To all at Jeepster who think this is immoral (If you do - I dunno?)
I have made (through tapes) and general blabbing sold you
2 x IYFS
1 x 3,6,9
1 x LLPJ
1 x DOW
Imagine if God was on wheels? Or if he was just a dog?
hmmm.....
Northy
``Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.'' - David Lloyd George.
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ALL I CAN SAY IS - IF YOU WANNA SEE A B&S VIDEO THEN WATCH MTV
ALTERNATIVE NATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once again - whilst writing my emails I heard the opening tones of
Century of Fakers. Not thinking much of this as it is lodged
permanently in my CD player, I realised I was listening to MTV.
It has happened two times out of three (in the last three weeks when
I have been watching it) kids
Only Lazy Line Painter Jane to go!
(don't tell me what it is like as it will spoil the surprise)
Video:
The Band (I assume) in various states of kissing with their lads and
lasses. Short excerpts of a young women using sign language to
translate bits of the lyrics which appear on the bottom of the
screen. A bloke with a beard features heavily in the video - who is
he?
Northy
``Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.'' - David Lloyd George.
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