May 2001 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Joan of Dark is alive
by Brier Random 05 May '01

05 May '01

Hi Kids, I spoke to our Joan of Dark on the tellyfone last night.... she is alive and well, but without computer. Apparently it got the sh*t kicked out of it. But she mentioned that *someone* on the list (i can't remember who) is forwarding the important Sinister bits (i.e. when anyone mentions how much they miss her) as text to her mobile phone. Can that person contact me please, as I have some salacious info to tell her (you are the one who's privvy to). Thanks. Glad she's ok, rilly. Aren't you? ~Brier www.brier.homestead.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Don't you just hate sock fluff between your feet fingers!!!!
by davie kerr 04 May '01

04 May '01

Alrighty People I am sorry to say but I am not happy with you, any of you. I spend a few days kicking back with my friends and all of a sudden I have over 90(+)emails. What be going on? I agree with you all that the up and coming gigs are more than exciting. But all those emais made my mouth go dry. When i read i read out loud and now I am as dry as an arabs sandle. But even so there were many emails that made me chuckle heartily. Before I go on I must apologise to everyone because I have no idea who said what or when. Anyhoo........... I have heard so many people mention covers that Belle and Sebastian could do on the new tour. I have one. Does anyone listen to mike Oldfield?? How about 'Moonlight Shadow?' I am pretty sure Isobel culd handle that song. What else was there?? Oh Yeah the Grange Hill cover. "Just say No" How is it the saying goes.......don't knock it till you have tried it!!! Best song to listen to when stoned is 'Bobby Brown' by Frnk Zappa. In fatc i'm away t smoke a bad boy just now. Take Care and I am sure I will see some of you at the Dunoon and the two barrowland gigs. Davie PS Just you dont hate checkin the spellin mistakes after an email _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Sounds of the New West
by David Howie 04 May '01

04 May '01

I realise that hardly anybody will read this e-mail; but if you can, please do. This music is important to me: it uplifts my soul. If just one person writes to me and says Yeh, man. Totally. Or That Willard Grant Conspiracy, going to see them next month, Ill know that Im not alone and that will re-assure me that Im not a teenage freak. If you dont want to read the ten song synopsis, just read the little blurb at the top and then skip to the end; and if you just dont like me, tell me and Ill shut up. Chasing the Normal, David. I dont know how appreciative Sinister is of Nouvelle Americana (or indeed of Classic Americana) but I am firm advocate of its consumption. Nouvelle Americana, a re-drawing of the musical topography of America, a reinvention of its great traditional musics and the creation from those traditions of something vibrant and new and unclassifiable. These artists music is the sound of the familiar made strange, compelling and alien in the classic manner of Roxy Music. While the turgid abject drizzle that passes for current UK rock and indie persists on dampenening us all, majestic music floods out of America like a raging torrent. For hairy-arsed rocknroll in the great tradition of Springsteen and The Replacements, there hasnt been a more incendiary (apoplectic) record in the last 5 years than Marahs Kids in Philly. But what I, and an increasing number of listeners, keep coming back to time and again is that part of the American music landscape that is variously described as new, insurgent or alternative country, but which is increasingly ill-served by such a strict definition much of the music being made under this journalistically-convenient label bearing only the most passing resemblance to what has traditionally passed for country. Hence the current preference for describing the type of music I love as Americana, which at least suggests something of the breadth and variety and innovation of that loose amalgamation of bands and artists whose work falls broadly into this category. This is music as a torrent of brilliance, rather than a trickle of mediocrity, a flash-flood of genius not a puddle of piss-poor prattlings from a bunch of bedwetters. I present by way of an introduction a ten song cycle which perfectly illustrates the nature of this guerrilla breed of Americana by carefully definining its ambit. 1. Neko Case & Her Boyfriends Twist The Knife The sexiest member of the Americana cast, with a penchant for leaving the house without frilly undergarments, and (apparently) not shy in telling you so. The ever astute John Peel picked up on this track from Nekos 2nd album (and no matter what Nick tells you, this is her best album) months before it was ever scheduled for release here, proclaiming it the best track hed ever heard then playing it back-to-back in quick succession. Co-written with Ryan Adams and Mike Daly from Whiskeytown, it is an achingly gorgeous ballad with ringing guitars from her boyfriend and Travis Good from The Sadies. And there are another 11 tracks this good on her album. Born on the same day and in the same town (Tacoma) as Patsy Cline, yknow (but not in the same year, obviously.) 2. Whiskeytown Factory Girl At a recent gig in London a dishevelled young Ryan Adams pleaded with the audience to stop requesting this track, choosing instead to sate their hunger with his reading of Oasis perennial classic Wonderwall. Oh dear. With echoes of Uncle Tupelo, this track elides the uncomfortableness created on the 2nd album by the fact that the band come uncomfortably close to sounding like The Eagles. Oh dear, again. Like most of Adams songs it aches with heartbreak; the girl lost Adams can only watch from a distance as the girl expurgates all the traces of Adams by working the dirt away. Sung and stalkerly prose, the song touches on two of the main themes of Americana: love (normally lost, normally to another man) and working class identity. 3. Uncle Tupelo High Water The story goes like this, see. Four friends bored, listening to punk and country decide to form a band; melding the two styles into a fiercesome fusion, Uncle Tupelo and alt.country were born. The founding fathers, Jeff Tweedy and Jay Farrar broke away from the group eventually forming new bands (Wilco and Son Volt, respectively). However, the groups formed by the break-up were imbued with only a diluted form of concentrated constituent parts that went a long way to making Uncle Tupelo so special (i.e., the punk sensibilities of Farrar guarded and guided by Tweedys country-pop leanings). No space to write about the song now Sorry. 4. Bruce Springsteen Atlantic City The Nebraska album is Springsteens portrait of a wounded and hurting America, where the victories are small and hard won, a harsh unforgiving place far removed from the shining city on thehill described by Reagan. The protagonist in Atlantic City delivers an unsurpassed scathing indictment of Reaganomics by way of the lyric I got debts no honest man could pay. A casualty of Reagans America, a nation which, for this individual, is no longer the land of promise, unless what is being promised is more suffering and disappointment. 5. The Pernice Brothers Chicken Wire Mogadon power-pop. 6. Knife In The Water Rene Austin-based they were formed in 1997, taking their name from a Roman Polanski film. Their sparse intense music is a mutant hybrid of Gram Parsons and Spiritualized, and is inspired by classic country and blues, and a tradition of murder ballads. Country is dangerous music, said Blount in Marchs Uncut. Blues and country are dangerous because they sit on this existential point. For that music to work, for that kind of music to be convincing and sincere, it really has to feel death; you have to feel the death that person is singing about. Its all about dying and sex. 7. The Jayhawks Blue This song - isnt as simple as might seem at first glance. - was written by Mark Olson and Gary Louris, who use words like kids use fingerpaint they make swirls and flourishes and scars, then they turn the scene in on itself and make it roll over with some weird filligree along the edges. - wants to crawl inside your consciousness and live with you till next autumn. 8. Slobberbone Gimme Back My Dog Texan quartet Slobberbone have never made it easy for themselves. The name itself is hardly endearing, and straddling rock, punk and roots music is never easy. But on their third album, their gmae plan reaps rewards. Priding themselves on songs whose narrative lyrics are more akin to short stories than standard rock verse, the can also drop in supremely catchy numbers like this one, which uses humour to draw you into a song that is deceptively, an emotionally-charged post-mortem of a failed relationship. 9. The Handsome Family A Beautiful Thing Modern country classics inspired by the Hindu creator/destroyer god Shiva, and Oscar Wildes contention that Each man kills the thing he loves are rare indeed. But the Handsomes are a rare breed. Rennies lyrics may take labyrinthine mythology and literary sources as their starting point, but A Beautiful Thing is a diamon-sharp example of how she refines them into scrupulously detailed tragi-comic alcohol-laced lament. A Beautiful Thing? For once, the title doesnt lie. 10. Slaid Cleaves Horshoe Lounge There was only one place for Mr Cleaves when he outgrew Portland Austin, Texas, roots rock mecca and unofficial capital of alt.country. When hes not out touring youll normally find him propping up the lonely end of the bar in the Horseshoe lounge, or a bar very like it, peeling the label off his beer, and putting down quarters in the queue for the pool table. One of the leaders of Americanas new guard of singer-songwriters. Thank you, David. PS I couldnt resist putting Springsteen in there, even though he is hardly Nouvelle. The man is sorely ignored by many people, blindly prejudiced to the fact that he wasnt always AOR. PPS Sorry to go on at inordinate length. Ive ripped some quotes from places, I cant be bothered attributing them all (so if it sounds good, I probably didnt write it). _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: It's me again...
by Histrianic＠aol.com 04 May '01

04 May '01

I am terribly sorry to list twice in the same day... but many people told me I should listen to the Fall as well, and I can't for the life of me which one of their 20-something albums would be good. Can you help? Love and kisses Hye Min +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: happy happy joy joy
by Hannah Brown 04 May '01

04 May '01

well, i am absolutely chuffed to bits at the moment. I was listening to the greatest dj at the moment, (gilles peterson) on thursday morning and he read my name out, i won a Zero 7 album and t-shirt wahay! i never win anything usually. I also went swimming that day and felt positivley brilliant. By the time 12:30 came i was drunkern to the bone and now im feeling very very chewey. to that bloke asking about london, um, ive realised that Greenwich will be your best bet, its cool there. Someone send me a lovely little e-mail afew weeks ago, giving me some moral support and what not. unfortunatley it got lost so i cant remember who you are but thanks. is that tape competition still open? if it is where do i send it to and does it matter if the sound quality is a bit dodgy? i keep falling for people who work in shops. first it was a guy in leicester, now its a guy who works in tin pan alley, he plays guitar really well, that always does it for me, oh dear. see some of you tommorow hopefully, muchstuff hannah +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: DISCO VS. ROCK @ POPSCENE TONIGHT!
by Red Geisha 04 May '01

04 May '01

Has it really been a whole two weeks you've survived without Popscene? Popscene truimphantly returns TONIGHT May 4th, 2001 @ 19 Balmuto Street - TORONTO - South of Bloor and West of Yonge (right beside William Ashley on Bloor). MANHATTAN CLUB! Tonight Popscene's DJ spins a cosmic competition between your favorite rock and disco, pop and soul, indie and sell-out - sprinkling and spinning hot summer vibes and finally putting some mileage on your expensive footwear. Do not miss this spectacular night filled with cities hepcats and stylin' fashionistas! As if the music wasn't reason enough! Please also feel free to FORWARD this e-mail to everyone who may want to celebrate summer clubbing with Popscene TONIGHT! 19+ All inquiries for Popscene please forward to mod_max(a)yahoo.com Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. > > _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: A Rather Big Disappointment
by Histrianic＠aol.com 04 May '01

04 May '01

hmm... hello sinister... I hope you are all doing alright in this weather. I, for one, have been extremely frustrated and upset by this weather. My school has ruled out tank tops and halters from our dress code, so I survive by dressing in a gigantic shirt that is very comfortable and thin and cargo shorts. I suffered a rather big disappointment today morning. My crush (yes, the one who knows of Belle and Sebastian's existence) has a girlfriend. Still unconfirmed, but enough to turn me off for the time being. Oh well, he's still a cool person, I hope we can be better friends... Incidentally, does anyone have the tab to ....and carrot rope by pavement? It's such a great song, I would like to be able to play it on the guitar, but due to my lack to talent and experience on the guitar, I can't figure out what chords to use.. On the other hand, I have started to write a play of random incidents that have happened to me. But I have run out of ideas. If anyone has funny or random, odd anecdotes (do not have be based on truth), please let me know. One of the scenes go something like this: SASHA jumps on stage holding an Amazon.com box, starts ripping apart the box, and takes out two CDs. SASHA: Look! I got new CDs! IZA: (groaning) Oh God. More. SASHA: What? They’re good CDs. IZA: Who is it? SASHA: The Amphetameanies and the Clientele! IZA: My point exactly. SASHA: Hey! (continues ripping open CD wrapper) IZA: (looks up) The tree has been hitting me randomly today. (SASHA hits IZA with a box) IZA: That’s not the tree. (DAVID and PETER pass by in the background) S: Yes, it is. It’s essentially made out of the same material. I: (sarcastic) Right. S: (hits IZA again) The tree doesn’t like you too much. (hugs box) I: The tree doesn’t like you too much either, my friend. S: Sure it does. See? I’m hugging it right now and it’s not running away, so it must love me. I: (blows up) That’s so stupid! That’s like putting a dog on a leash and saying that it loves you because it’s not running away! S: Well, if the tree was repulsed enough by my display of affection for it, it would somehow find ways to escape my touch. I: No, it wouldn’t, because it CAN’T. S: Are you trying to deny that evolution happened? (Lights dim) For some reason, when I re-read what I've written, my words tend to become extremely stupid, even to myself. Is this list abuse? Uh.. Belle and Sebastian. Kings of Convenience listen to them, you should, too. Can anyone recommend some good albums for me to listen to? (and which one of the 6 pavement cds should i start off with? has anyone listened to the new steven malkmus cd? is it good?) Thank you for listening to me babble. Love and kisses Hye Min +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: TIGERMILKING, Saturday 5th May
by Mark Casarotto 04 May '01

04 May '01

Okay - full details below! Apologies again to non-London listees. TIGERMILKING, Saturday 5th May, 8pm - midnight, downstairs at Bar Oporto, Covent Garden £4 or £3 for concessions and picnickers The best in fun P!O!P! with a big helping of B&S, with lashings of indie (in all its forms), northern, French pop, 60s and 70s ephemera and the occasional slice of cheese. The DJs play basically anything you've read about on Sinister - except Lloyd Cole and Pink Floyd :-) The venue is downstairs at Bar Oporto, corner of Endell Street and High Holborn - the bar doesn't have a name sign, but it's next to a gym and opposite the Shaftesbury theatre. The stairs down are at the right-hand end of the bar. To get to the bar from Tottenham Court Road station (3 mins walk), turn down Charing Cross Road and take the first left - St Giles High Street, which turns into High Holborn. Endell Street is the 4th road on the right, and the bar is the first building on the left hand side of the road. >From Covent Garden station (5 mins), turn left out of the station and right onto Long Acre. Walk 50 yards to the mini-roundabout and turn left - this is Endell Street, and Bar Oporto is the last building on the right. If you're going to be at the picnic, just follow the crowd :-) If you need help (with the club or the picnic), call me on 07771 656961 and I'll see what I can do. Hope you can come! Mark xxx ********************************************************************** HIT Entertainment PLC, Maple House 149 Tottenham Court Road, London, W1T 7NF Tel: +44 (20)7 554 2500, Fax: +44 (20)7 388 9321 The contents of this e-mail from HIT Entertainment PLC are confidential and intended for the addressee only. If you are not the intended recipient you must not copy or further distribute this e-mail; please notify us by telephone on +44 (20)7 554 2500, and delete this message from your computer system. This e-mail has been checked by our anti-virus system before leaving us; we accept no responsibility for the e-mail and any attachments once they leave us. www.hitentertainment.com www.bobthebuilder.com www.hitwildlife.com ********************************************************************** +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: You'd be surprised how I wanna see you again
by Alasdair Cook 04 May '01

04 May '01

DON'T LISTEN TO ME The Pinefox a prophet? Who'd a thunk it? I had some stuff written about ATP, then I realised that it was completely irrelevant to anything. All I can say is thank God the go-karts weren't running. I'm a sucker for tradition, as you know. Or maybe I'm just a sucker. Jelly, please. The future is, more or less, more important. Yes, really. So now we have a picnic AND a Tigermilking to look forward to. We are truly blessed. Thank you Mark. And Lucy. And Sally. And probably Robinson. And whoever else. I WAS DOWN IN THE CLINIC I was in hospital today. Why are consultants called 'Mr' instead of 'Dr'? It makes me wary. Have they passed the necessary exams? I'd ask our resident house doctor, but he's gone down under. He's a man at work. Anyway, a man was sitting next to me, reading a magazine and eminating strange, excited 'huh-uh!' grunts every so often. I wondered what he could be reading to provoke such a response. I looked across and found it was.....equestrian weekly. Before you ask, I'm perfectly well. I'm not sure I can say the same for the horse, though. THE NURSE TUT-TUTS Earlier on I'd seen a girl in a 1982 Scotland shirt. Impressive, I thought. Then I saw her again. Stunning. Mine Wullie! Naw, mine Alan! Oh dear... Later I saw Lloyd Cole in a charity shop. That *was* astounding. He looked...moody. I was elated. At home I listened to 'Somewhere In China' on mid-eighties vinyl for the first time. I think it actually sounded better. Than the Foxgloves, I mean. Robin said he'd applied to be a weatherman. His qualifications are notable. But is this anything like the time he was forced into the inventing trade? And did he invent anything? A self-writing Sinister post would be a help to all of us. Especially, as you can see, me. Please arrange it Robin. Oh, and make it sunny this weekend, there's a good chap. What *is* a bollard anyway? NOW WE DON'T HAVE A COUNTRY I've been boycotting the USA for 22 years. I'm not sure of it's noticed yet. Perhaps in future, it'll start boycotting me. I WANT SURPRISES Brian said that 'Spring Rain' is a country song. I still don't understand. Was that what Lloyd was talking about? Youn said: Stuart sings about Edinburgh in "I Could Be Dreaming": "I took a walk up Castlehill". Which I think might actually be about a place in Ayrshire. Don't quote me on that, though. Well, you can if you want. I HAVE A TASK I would have joined in with Peter's Ribena strike had I known about it sooner. Alas, too late, for today I had a Ribena ice-lollie. Which is an achievment, given that I didn't even know they existed. I offered a young lady a suck of my pole, which one might almost say was met with a look of violence. But then, she's a violent girl. Not often violet; mostly ultra. I still refuse to believe the news, btw. Only 2 religious festivals have been written about so far; still so much to do.. I NEED TWO FEDS I'm still waiting for the second installment of the Inspector Bobby Forster story. Where is it? Someone has been trying to persuade me to go and see B&S in Spain. This seems like a good idea, until I consider that it is, in fact, not. I think we May have seen the first day of summer. I wanted to listen to something. It turned out that it was early Stereolab, but by then it was too late. STUART MURDOCH; THE RUMOURS WERE TRUE He was doing the sound for at least half of the Hefner gig, I think. He was doing the rounds for the rest. Someone said it was the best gig the Obscura have ever played. I think I just about agree with him. Hayman and the lads weren't too bad either, for a support act. I want Belle and Sebastian to play a cover of 'You're shite and you know you are' by The Strange Fruit Crowd vs Martin Robinson. Wicked! I think that's enough for now. Alasdair xx _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: italian hunters sausage
by Clarke, Sarah J (EU) 04 May '01

04 May '01

Hello! Isobel article from an in-flight toerag got me thinking. Did the scrote who wrote that consider it in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM INTERESTING??? She's PRACTICAL! She has a house! She was uh, born! C:\Duh!* I could pull better writing out of my ARSE! In fact this morning I found a short novella written in the Raymond Chandler style up there, but needed it to uh, clean up. But anyway. I can't afford a house. But no honestly, I *care* that she can. I *care*. Do any lucky listees own their own houses? I know at least four people on this list who have mortgages, and I'll guesstimate for a few of you they won't be far off.... but do not fear! I have a solution to poor people who can't afford to buy houses in Partick, or Parbold, or even a parboiled egg (I *have* been that poor)! Take heart and cheer from Isobel. >From scraping the bottom of the sandwich development section at Pret to Caledonian fame! ( I actually feel quite ashamed..) You mean you don't know? Ah this takes me back. Once upon a time, Isobel was a crackin' sandwich developer for Pret a Manger. Amongst her many great inventions were mutton, pear and salvation wraps, tar, tartar and taramasalata (nearly!) baguettes and her pish pie and prophylactics range. She was the queen of sandwich development! BUT! Ohhhhhhh my friends, but. There was a HARSH side to this girl, a harsh side usually unassociated with the friendly and team player friendly world of making butties. Because of her, well, undoubted genius in crafting lunch time perfection, her co-workers would put up a lot from her. Her somewhat unorthodox views concerning squirrels (framed in formaldehyde above her workstation) just had to be let go as "cute eccentricity". She also went through a load of tomato ketchup every day, sometimes those red (RED!! RED!!) stains wouldn't come out of her pinny. But still! Great sandwiches! Until that one day when the truth came out!! <flashback> Little Stevie Malkmus was working late one day. Try his hardest, he and his colleague (the cheery one from Kraftwerk) just couldn't beat Isobels sandwich design. Always overlooked for promotion, they were working late one night, when they heard An Insane Cackling Sound coming from her penthouse lair! Golly gosh, said the chirpy one, what the chuff were that? Geez dude I don't know, said S.M. Hoox me up with some more basil! The cackling sound came again! Blimey charlie, said happy Kraftwerk man, we should go have a sken at that. Sigh, okay, said S.Malk. And what did they see!!!! ISOBEL! standing there! A knife in her hand! Covered head to toe in red (RED!! RED!!) liquid!!! And with the other hand she was holding aloft a swan, with a severed neck! Try as he might, little Stevie Malky couldn't hold back his revulsion! BLUGGGH he went, and vommed all over his brand new Converse. Isobel turns round. AaaAAaaaAAAah she said, in that bizarre upper/lower case mix favoured by Velocity Girl, you've seen my secret ritual of slaughtering swans!! You know my secret swan strength! And with that she backed towards the window and PLUNGED herself through it! ARGRHHHHHHHHH and EEEEEEK she screamed! The last thing I heard was her screaming... "Swan Sandwich For You"! Apparently now she's all clean and never thinks about Those Creatures anymore. The swans gain is sandwich makings loss. But what if she ever decided to go down that evil road again... </flashback>. Geez. That was a long way to go for such a let down joke wasn't it? But you get it? Geddit, right? RIGHT? Ah fuck it. I should maybe go and do some work. That joke was really funny this morning, believe it or not... Love, Sarah xx *How geeky and nerdy is that? It's bad enough as it is, but DOUBLY cos I nicked it from Aunt Zelda on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Incidentally, I saw the movie of that show on Channel 5 post-Aislers Set in Nottingham fun, my GOSH! Pas tres bon! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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