May 1999 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Slightly Anal About 80s Pop
by stephen hewitt 26 May '99

26 May '99

The above is the rather succinct description from Ms Ailsa Ross, of this parish, for our (mine and hers, not all 1100 of us) mutual regard for the chart music of that period, it will now adorn my auto-signature... I'm feeling a bit more chipper than yesterday, mainly as I have been nominated (and accepted) for the list crush list, and have received two votes (hurrah!!) weejay mentioned Simon Parkin. I knew him when he had nowt. To refresh your collective memory SP was a Childrens BBC presenter of the early nineties with very very ginger hair (which, if memories serves, was rather bouffant) and I'm sure is still kicking around on some cable channel. Well, before he reached these heady heights of stardom he was a presenter on our local commercial radio station doing the 'homework' slot, and the mention of him brought back fond memories of spending hours and hours working out a revision timetable and then about 10 minutes actually revising. I also knew Tony Blair when he had nowt, but that's another story. Loads of people mentioned Stars in their Arse, which was rather bizzare, as I was sitting watching it the other night (having lit the candles and said prayers to the bearded god of Kelly) and I turned to Mrs CarsmileSteve and said that I should go on as Struan because if I could get past the first stage (not realising that we had an insider, nudge nudge wink wink), winning the phone vote would be a piece of piss (if you know what I mean). My only contribution to the bad cheese puns is 'Slow Caerphilly' wich is particularly rubbish as Caerphilly sounds nothing like Graffitti. Ooh I know, what about 'I Know Where the Summer Gorganzola', hmm, not really much better. Just to clear one thing up, I'm not Steve Hewitt, drummer from Placebo, although my mate knows him. Neither am I any relation to James Hewitt (Di-shagger). Thats all for now xoxo CarsmileSteve > ---------------------------------------------- > 'Slightly Anal About 80s Pop' > > carsmilesteve(a)geocities.com > > visit our website http://fast.to/carsmile > > 'So tell me what have you got? So tell me have I lost the plot?' > +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Re: Sinister: seymour stein
by paul sallis 26 May '99

26 May '99

Girvan you wicked wicked child, trying to mislead out transatlantic friends with beguiling words emanating from your fork-tongued mouth. Shame on you. Yes, there is a place in Scotland called Dundee, but its not surprising you hadn't heard of it. Its the tiniest of places, very grim, rustic and medieval with a population of about 34: 3 of which are goats, and the rest are all directly related to each other (and to the goats in a few odd cases). The chief exports are a locally produced cake cunningly given the name 'Dunfermline cake', and up-and-coming boy bands who thrive like fungi for the first year then die-out when its leaked to the press that none of them are actually gay. P. --- Girvan Burnside <gburnsid(a)mcs.dundee.ac.uk> wrote: > Dundee is the 4th largest city in Scotland, with a > population of around > 200,000 (I think), home > of an excellent football team (currently not quite > so excellent) called > Dundee United. Also home > of me. > > Girvan > > > I agree that what's sung is "Has he ever seen > Dundee." Is there a Dundee > > in the North Country? (sorry i'm a geographically > challenged yank) > > _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: RE: Everything you want to know about Stars!
by Kurtis, Elizabeth 26 May '99

26 May '99

Hello again, > Chris Leonard purred seductively: > > >> Stars in Their Eyes is my favourite program ever, and > >> Mathew Kelly is a presenter virtuoso of the highest order! > >I think it was Chris who told me about the rules on blacking-up and >drag (i.e. you can't do either) - perhaps Elisabeth would like to >verify ? Understandable I suppose, though it scuppers my plans to >appear as Missy 'Misdemeanour' Elliot on the next series ("Beep beep >! Who's got da keyz to da jeep ? Brrrrmm..."). No Lena Zavaroni >either. It would be only be like little Jimmy Krankie in reverse. >And *that* counts as family entertainment. Bah. Double freaking >standards. That's right Mike -- those are the basic rules, that and no one under the age of 14 (unless you're going to do Aaron Carter, and we have one lined up for an audition!) No drag unless you're Boy George of course, or Divine (though I don't think they'd have Divine...) or maybe even Dana...there are loopholes people! Of course these rules have caused problems over time --apparently there's a girl who sounds exactly like Michael Jackson, and writes scathing letters yearly cursing the policy. But without rules, how would Matthew Kelly keep us all in line? BTW, Chris is absolutely right, the fellow who did Neil Finn the other week was a dead ringer for Stephen Pastel, except he strummed his guitar in time to the music. >Off to practise my "Climate of Hunter"-era Scott. Please do, we're dying for a good Scott Walker!! Only it would have to be 'The sun ain't gonna shine anymore' and not any of his "difficult" solo stuff... ;) > Elisabeth p.s. See some of you in Glasgow this Friday night, I think? +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: How to maim your dad
by V0168JE2 26 May '99

26 May '99

I don't think I've ever inserted any small object into any orifice, not even when I was little. I did poke my dad in the eye with some scissors though. He came up behind me and asked me what I was doing and I turned round with my scissors in my hand and... ouch. Thankfully he was alright, though he did have to go to the eye hospital. Anyone else maimed their parents? Sarah, I think you should call your goldfish Simon Parkin. I'm getting a hamster called that as soon as I move into my new house, but it''ll have to be fluffy and ginger. I've still only got one vote on the list crush... where have those other 4 people got to...? If you vote for me I'll give you a kiss in voucher form, redeemable wherever you like. This is not a joke. And bagpipes are good because I say so. Hum, that isn't really an argument is it? They're good because they can be used to create really eerie sounds if used in the right way. The albion band used them really well but I suspect those were bretton pipes (shutupyoupedant)... Why is JD Salinger a perv? I mean, I suspect a good amount of old men would like the company of younger women & from what I heard this amounts to two women - his wife and a girl who stayed with him and he *never had a relationship with* the latter. To go off at a tangent, (what has happened to the duke BTW) do you think that any of the legendary pile of books he's written will be published in his lifetime? I want to read more Glass stories, I'm just in love with that world. Oh and you should all go to Keith's site because you like I probably didn't realise he painted such beautiful pictures, even if he is an evil alien monkey whore (joke). ta ta, weejay xxx Blue Glow is now at http://diskant.future.easyspace.com/blueglow/ (This network is as sick as a dog. If you can't get through try maleslut(a)chickmail.com instead) +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: seymour stein
by ashin＠publicintegrity.org 26 May '99

26 May '99

I agree that what's sung is "Has he ever seen Dundee." Is there a Dundee in the North Country? (sorry i'm a geographically challenged yank) +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Pet Sounds and 70's poo
by Martin Robinson 26 May '99

26 May '99

Hello again. Yes my, my what a lovely day for a daydream and things. I'd been doing a very good job recently of forgetting any education I have had, luckily being ignorant comes so naturally, until these continual mentions of 70's Who. As I remembered a music technology course I did as part of my degree. One of the assessments was to listen to 3 songs and analyse what was going on in "the mix" e.g either those are bagpipes fortunately low in the mix or someone's trodden on next door's cat Ploppy (just another pet name suggestion). The first song came in and was kickass punky R n B regular Who which we all know and love. Then the next song came on and it was still the Who, but definitely not one you'd want to marry your sister or anything. I guess that that was 70's Who. Then it got worse and this Prog rock nonsense came on and I started thinking oh my god what did the Who do, and wishing they'd all died before they got old and stuff. Then I found out it was actually Rush. It was an easy mistake to make though. I'm glad I'm amongst such famous writers on this list and do not feel belittled to write my crap in their company. In fact if their not posting they're probably reading our posts to be inspired to write their next literary masterpiece - so far it's influence has only really reached the heights of Jackie's problem page or was "Debbie Does Dallas" based on a novel? Oh another pet name: fellatio. Works best for animals you have to call in the park "Come here fellatio", "Come on boy"... sorry it must be the weather Te ra, Martin dictionary.com didn't have a quote for fellatio. Sorry. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit/but your dog refused to look at it
by The Narrow Wizard 26 May '99

26 May '99

OBJECTS IN ORIFICES when I was young i got a ball bearing stuck in my nose and had to go to hospital to get it removed. I was very embarased. somebody said that a nurse told them that lots of kids get raisins in their ears and that they need tweazers to get them out. I however was always taught that if you pour melted chocolate into the ear then the raisin would come out a treat. PET NAMES my dog is called Tim the enchanter after the character in monty python and the holy grail. A friend of mine has goldfish named Ben and Corky after Ben Folds and Corky and the juice pigs. I used to have a gerbil called rodney but thats not a very exciting name is it. MISHEARING LYRICS someone thought the line in seymour stein was "has he ever seen ghandi" but then they dicovered that the lyrics in the cover said it was "north of scotland has he seen". I too first thought it was ghandi but im unconvinced that the lyric sheet is right. Does anyone else agree that what is actually sung is "has he ever seen dundee" CHEESE nice to see a lot of cheese related discussion in here, monkeys are not the new rock and roll cheese is. I recently bought a pack of flavoured cheese spreads and there was a marmite flavoured one and it was scrummy. Except it didn't look very nice and the people at marmite hadn't given them use of the name so it was called yeast extract flavoured cheese spread. LIST CRUSH was browsing through the photos on the sinister web site and saw one of a quite enchanting girl so I've registered my vote on the list crush site. I'm not telling you who I voted for 'cos I'm embarassed by stuff like that though. SUNDERLAND AFC rob I appreciate that you support the greatest football team on the planet but how can you slag off that song...come on lets all sing together Nial Quinn's disco pants are the best They go up from his arse to his chest They are better than Adam and the Ants Nial Quinn's disco pants well I think thats all from me...I may see some of you in glasgow on saturday but I don't know if I can afford it or find it for that matter. have a good one owen With that the narrow wizard waggled his bushy eyebrows and disappeared in a flash of blue flame leaving behind only a faint smell of cinnamon +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Ealing Hotsteppa, Mornington Wednesday, Putney Drains
by Michael Jones 26 May '99

26 May '99

Arise, fellow slaves of the sex-industry... Janey Blackall pushed the following note under our doors before slipping into night: > Just a quickie - I seem to remember mention being made of a picnic in Greenwich park this weekend, > are there any definite plans on that front yet? As definite as can be, Janey. See Jeepster message board for further details (summary: 2pm, Greenwich station, bring some grub). Paul Field had the full support of the parish council when he declared: > I'm after some advice from the literary crowd out there. I've been asked to > do a reading at a friends wedding, and I was hoping somebody out there in > sinisterland had any suggestions as I know more about pottery than poetry. Then talk about pottery - honestly, it's always best to stick to what you know in these situations. Andy Dean's fashioned a lucrative sideline in after-dinner speaking with his Sarah label-photo anecdotes and Trousers brought the house down at the last Rotarians meeting with tales of Stevenage Bus Depot. If you really do insist on reciting verse, then you could do worse than invest in a slim volume by former Sinisterine Linton Kwesi Johnson. His spell on the list is a fondly remembered one, though I don't think anyone really knew what he was on about. Eventually he fell out with Bob Clearmountain over a uncleared sample of "Inglan Is A Bitch" and they both unsubscribed in disgrace. Bob, of course, re-subbed for the digest posing as former Notts County and Coventry hardman Brian Kilcline, but no-one was fooled. Stephen Hewitt stopped flossing long enough to cast a glance over his shoulder and whisper: > I *do* know a lot about music, but only top > twenty stuff, with a side line in nineties alt-pop and I'm sure I must be > missing out on loads of ace stuff, even though I can usually work out the > 'mystery year' on Simon Mayo within two records. A skill not to be sniffed at. This morning I had my little pocket radio with me on the train and I failed to recognize 1987 (a Mary Chain song that I mis-identified four times to myself until the 'April skies' chorus gave it away and a Prince/Sheena number featuring the immortal lines "your face was jammin', your body was slammin', let's get to rammin'") or 1993 (a Manics song that sounded like "Sound and Vision" and World Party doing their Kinks pastiche). I may have been distracted by the clown sitting opposite me droning on and on about derivatives and market share on his mobile. Mobile phones in tumour link ? Natural selection at work, surely. Chris Leonard purred seductively: > Stars in Their Eyes is my favourite program ever, and > Mathew Kelly is a presenter virtuoso of the highest order! I think it was Chris who told me about the rules on blacking-up and drag (i.e. you can't do either) - perhaps Elisabeth would like to verify ? Understandable I suppose, though it scuppers my plans to appear as Missy 'Misdemeanour' Elliot on the next series ("Beep beep ! Who's got da keyz to da jeep ? Brrrrmm..."). No Lena Zavaroni either. It would be only be like little Jimmy Krankie in reverse. And *that* counts as family entertainment. Bah. Double freaking standards. Off to practise my "Climate of Hunter"-era Scott. Mike. _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Glasgow meet-up, and some crap jokes about cheese
by ar981611＠student.paisley.ac.uk 26 May '99

26 May '99

Hello children So you want to go out drinking in Glasgow on Saturday night then, do you? Well, come to the Uisge Beatha on Woodlands Road at 5.30pm onwards and do just that. After due consideration of pubs that don't have big tellies (ie no-one will be have been in them watching the cup final) and have decent sized tables on the off-chance that lots of people turn up, and is far away enough from the town centre that Chris won't be scared by football fans, and isn't too full usually, and doesn't play loud crap music*, I have settled for the pub I spent most of last year in, because I'm too unimaginative to think of anywhere else. If it were last year I could have invited you all upstairs to my house to watch the Eurovision Song Contest, but I have since emigrated to Paisley so I can't. Anyway, if anyone wants to know where it is or how to get to it, mail me and ask me. The best thing about the Uisge Beatha now (as opposed to then when the best thing was that I only had a ten yard stagger to my front door) is that all the blokes behind the bar wear kilts :) BabyChris, come along and wear *your* kilt and then we can send you to sneak surreptitiously behind the bar and bring us lots of beer :) *the worst thing, though, is that they spent lots of last year playing the Cranberries and the Verve. I suspect it's probably the Corrs now, but at least they play it quietly :) Bagpipe content - they had a piper in to play on the days of Scotland's World Cup games last year, which was great as they only have a wee portable telly and so only had about ten people in to actually watch the games :) Oldies, newbies, all more than welcome. Oh, the Uisge Beatha has four bits to it, I would say that one of the end bits would be the best places to get seats, but I can't say which one we'll get seats in. Probably the end nearest the furniture shop, as that doesn't have a telly or a bar in it :) If you don't know anyone, go to the photo pages of big people, and look at "KeithPissed". Then get to the pub and look for it in real-life. Sorry, Keith, but it's the best I can do for identification purposes. Oh, you could look at Sarah Wheeler's bus pass photo on the photo page too. Or Alasdair on the picnic page football team. There's a photo of me on Fluffy's website but I don't know where that is. Erm, I'll have an assortment of nice badges on - upside down too, if you want to go round squinting at people's lapels instead. I might be wearing a blue duffel coat. I will be drinking Guiness and my expression will be that of a Celtic fan who has either won or lost the Scottish Cup, depending on the result. Alternatively, if anyone has a house and doesn't mind us throwing up in it, I quite fancy a shot of Carsmile Steve's Eurovision drinking game :) Keith was talking about Cola Boy, so I just thought I'd say "7 Ways to Love" before Mr Carsmile butts in to show off his knowledge of top chart tunes :) Mr Hopkins said: > Of course, there is always the opportunity to start a cheese-related crap > B&S pun thread. You know, This Is Just a Modern Roquefort Song, Brie-ing > Other People, that sort of thing. Just a thought. And a damn good one too. Were you spying on our pre-Bowlie emails betwixt our chalet members perchance, where we had a similar discussion on cocktails? This was started off by Kevan Cooke offering to get a bottle of nasty nasty Tigermilk wine and introduce it to whisky and gin to make a "State I Am In". He actually *DID* this and took it to Bowlie. It smelt rancid, and I think only Alasdair was brave enough to try it. Anyway we started a long and ridiculous conversation about this, resulting in such Richard Whiteley-esque gems as Bloody MaryJo, You're Just a Babycham, Fox in the Snowball, String Bean Jean and tonic, Bells and Sebastian, Sloe Graffiti and so on until we realised we had far too much time on our hands. So can I kick off with The Stars of Monterey Jack and Field? Or You're Just a BabyBel. Or, indeed, BabyBel and Sebastian. No? Fair enough. Anyway, Uisge Beatha, Saturday, whenever you want. I just said 5.30 as that's when *I'll* be there (unless the cup final goes into extra time). We could always pop across the road to the Hogshead for food as they do bits of cheese deep-fried in beer batter, which is a lot nicer than it sounds. Granny Hopkins would surely approve :) Ailsa xx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Silence is Broken
by David Andrew McNicol 26 May '99

26 May '99

Finally I have been given the privlage of joining you in the speaking world, how lonely it was just listening and not being able to participate. I missed so much, but I still want to add that Bowlie was great, and looking forward to 2. Doing exams at the moment, but B&S keeping me calm. Off to see the Delgados tonight at the Art School, so I'll let everyone know how good they were. Gotta go and do an exam, so enjoy! Dave +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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