February 2000 - Sinister

Sinister: Otters are terribly funny
by Will Porter 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

I've been giggling for about half the day. Among that staff at the library where I work, "I'm going to run down the hall" has become the euphemism of choice when one is going to abandon the circulation desk to use the bathroom. Of course, every time someone says to me that they are going to run down the hall, I immediately picture them jogging quite comically up and down the hall for no reason in particular. That seemed like it was going to be a much funnier anecdote that it turned out to be. I'm trying to find a poem by Bill Knott. The trouble is it's not a particularly famous poem, and I'm pretty sure the title of the poem is "Poem". Incidentally, Bill Knott calls a lot of his poems "Poem". Anyway, I committed it to memory years ago, and I'm not sure I remember it correctly, so I'd very much like it if someone could point me to a book that contains the poem. What I can remember of it is at the bottom of this message. katy sed: > Because even > kissing people that you half-like always leads to confusion.(I'm > guessing that Sinister people will understand this kind of thing.) Do I ever! It seems most of the time like the people who want to kiss me are not the ones I'm particularly interested in kissing, but when the lips are in your face, it's not hard to fall into the belief that some kissing is better than no kissing, because when you get right down to it, kissing is a pretty swell thing to do. I think there must have been a genius convention at my library today. (by which I mean that there was nothing of the sort, but rather that... oh you know what I mean) I've decided that I like LLPJ, though for a long time, Monica Queen's voice seemed like something that I very much did not like, though now it appears as though I was mistaken. On a separate note, I've just bitten my tongue and it hurts quite a lot and I feel very much like cursing very loudly. adios, Will The poem goes something like this (the bracketed [] comments are my comments): The way the world is not astonished by you (it doesn't blink a leaf) leads me to grop [if I recall correctly, Bill makes up words sometimes] that beauty is natural, unremarkable, and not to be spoken of except in the course of things: the course of singing and work-sharing, the course of squeezes and neighbors, the course of you, tying back your raving hair to go out, and the course, of course, of me, astonished by you the way the world is not. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: erm ... bathmat set ... swingball ...toaster ... goblin teasmaid ... a cuddly toy ... erm ...
by Alan Singfield 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

> In my experience there is always one flatmate who doesn't fit in with the > others. They become a the whipping boy/girl. It's healthy, except when you're > the outcast, which happened to me once. This rule applies no matter how small > the household is. If you live on your own, you will end up blaming yourself for > things you didn't do. You will also talk about yourself behind your back and > develop a crick in your neck. My (ex)flatmates were complete stoners, and they'd get the munchies and devour *everything* that I bought. B*stards. If only I'd thought to slip a bar of laxative chocolate in there. > I do have cuddly toys in my bed, but only so that I can make girls can go 'aah!' > but not want to sleep with me, and get lectures from exasperated friends (mainly > female) about how I am ruining my scoring potential. Tweeness as a > bloody-minded expression of a self-destructive urge. Nick, perhaps you just need to get more macho soft toys. Instead of pooh bear and piglet, what about a cuddly Vinny Jones and matching "tiny tears" Mike Tyson? What girls want never fails to confuse me. <get bored of being cool and enigmatic and insert some toilet humour, invariabley mentioning human excrement, or spiked enemas> Jenowl, I'm *so* glad to hear that someone else likes spiked enemas. They're just like an ordinary enema, except with an extra dash of sloe gin and crystal sugar around the edge of the glass. I would not be seen at any sophisticated cocktail party without one. < B&S content > The very patiently awaited new album: I think we'll have to take matters into our own hands. There is a computer program I found, that you feed in poetry by a particular author, then it writes new poems in the style of said scribe. Well, it says it also works with song lyrics. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it to work. Bums. Perhaps thats whats taking the band so long. < Poop > I've just looked over this message and I've mentioned "number two" functions far too many times. Oh well. Perhaps next post I'll make every paragraph be to do with the province of kwa-zulu natal. But I can't spell it. And I don't know anything about it. Tune in at the same time next week to miss the programme entirely ... Spanners xx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Oh yes westlife's new song is sooo cool
by JENOWL22＠aol.com 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

In case you didn't notice, the subject line is sarcasm. Oh. Hello you lot. I'm awfly glad that you get 'sinister' coming up before each sinister post, or i'd delete half of them as porn mail or something of the like. I e mailed a boy today. It was a very long and embarassing mail that i wish i hadn't sent because he'll tell everyone i'm a psycho. People who're not on sinister just don't understand me. Hmm...what shall I talk about. Hmm. Someone was supposed to have put a todger up on the bodyparts page, but my browser is protecting my innocence and says that the page can't be displayed. Oh and i got a list crush vote. I got a mail telling me so. And my e mail address is up on the sinister page and everything. I feel so important and loved. <hugs self>. Someone must have voted by accident though. I've not voted for anyone yet, since your only allowed one vote and I don't know who to choose, because sinister's just one big twee brothel. I don't think the box set is a grate idea, because I can't afford it. But then again if jeepster just released stuff by what I can afford, then they'd prolly only release stuff on chirstmas and my birthday. Yesterday I set my room on fire, sort of. I was burning candles, because they smell nice, and one of them started to make a really funny smell. I didn't want to put it out so i leant over it to open the window, and accidentaly set my copy of melody maker alight, which i was holding. So it was burning all over the place and the ashes went all over the carpet, my computer and the curtains and the bed and basically everywhere. And i was frightened shitless, because i've never set anything on fire before. And the smoke was stinging me eyes and i couldn't breath. So being me, and staying really cool headed in a crisis, I panicked and started crying. Then it sort of dawned on me that i'd get caught, and i shoved all the ashes into a drawer. But my mum caught me, and guess what, she wasn't exactly delighted. So remind me not to become an arsonist. Tommorrow i'll bungee jump with no elastic, so that i'll have something interesting to write about. Look aol gave me a signature! Jen <Insert favourite belle and sebastian lyric of the week here to make signature look both cool and enigmatic> <get bored of being cool and enigmatic and insert some toilet humour, invariabley mentioning human excrement, or spiked enemas> +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Relationships, hey hey hey
by Katy 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

Hello everyone. You know, people talk about beauty vs personality and it seems like it must be beauty when you first see someone, but I'm pretty sure most of that is really personality too. It's all in someone's expression, the way they hold themselves, the way they look when they're talking. As Darren Hefner said: "And I swear it's not the beauty It's something inside It's the grace that you hide It's the sweetness that's within." I met a nice boy. Who likes me. But right now in a way I'd rather have a really bad crush on someone who never even notices me. And the thing is I was quite happy being single and I swore I would be until I found someone it was magic to be with. Because even kissing people that you half-like always leads to confusion.(I'm guessing that Sinister people will understand this kind of thing.) So I will try to exercise some self-control and not do any more kissing type things until I work out if there's enough magic there. katy x "I take her to the seaside Where she likes to spin and twirl She says 'sure' and 'cool' and 'yeah' She's my monosyllabic girl" - NOFX +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Back At Last
by The Vicar 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

Deary me, For some reason, now beyond me, i deleted everything on my PC and re-installed it. I did not know what i was doing, and i only just got back on, after many long expensive phone calls to customer services lines all over the world. On saturday i cut my out of control hair down, im surprised they did not need to do it with hedge trimmers, now my ears feel cold and naked all the time, and i get comments from everyone i meet who was used to 'Bouch-Curley-Curl' (A nickname from long ago). I missed B+S night at the star and garter last friday due to illness. Why I cant be ill at any other timne i dont know, but i was angered all the same. That will have to do for B+S content, im drained right now, but it will be nice to be able to read all my lovely mails again. Vic. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: hiding from the weather
by invisible_boy 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

And so my virginal post catches me feeling all melancholy. It's a cold Northern night and I'm genuinley a bit scared that one of the trees out front is about to uporoot and fall straight into the house. Very nasty. I'm glad my flat is at the back. I had envisaged that moving from Newcastle to Leeds would bring the benefit of improved weather conditions. How very niave.... This week I've been told by my friendly optician that a pair of glasses was probably in order, and so for the first time in my 22 tears (going on 23....scary) I'm a bespecticled boy. I asked the (not-so)kindly assistant if they'd help me to see better after two bottles of wine but the only reply I got was the kind of sarcastic glare that people in the service industry ought not to know. Still, at least now I can walk around actually being able to see the edges of objects, rather than shapless blurs which I may or may not be about to walk into. But do they make me look, intelligent, reliable and thoughtful, or do they just make me look kind of nerdy? Well, the jury's still out on that one. Tommorow I'm going to buy tickets to go to a Fall gig. A prospect which fills me with as much trepidation as it does excitement, to be honest. The phrases "Fall gig" and "riot" seem to crop up slightly to often in the same sentence for my liking, but on the plus side, the gig isn't until March so Mr E (Ebeneezer?) Smith has plenty of time to sack his whole band (again) before then. Maybe it'll be something I don't need to worry about. That was me. Saying hello. Kev (alias invisible_boy, alias shambolic, alias me) --- Cronenberg - http://www.explode.to/davidcronenberg/ Regular Chickens - http://www.explode.to/regularchickens/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I feel alright when you smile
by Alasdair Cook MC1996 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

Hello, hello, it's good to be cack. Martin's riposte to his flighty nemesis was very clever and all, but to no avail, for as everyone knows these birds only speak pidgeon English. Ne'er mind. He said I was great so I forgive him his foolishness. Oh, and keep away from that Casarotto boy, if you wish to retain your sanity. In agreeing with everything I have ever said (?) I fear he has finally flipped his shiny lid. I knew it was only a matter of time. My computer is currently playing nasty tricks on me and inserting extra spaces whenever it feels like it. This is troubling, however I shall persevere. My favourite item of fashion at the moment is my sister's new "Little Miss Naughty" bra, which is very nice indeed. However I doubt a picture will be forthcoming for Erica's fashion page. Still, I may get round to snapping my red t-shirt at some point in the future. Di shouldn't be worried about her dreams, as I can always top anyone with more disturbing ones. Recently I dreamt that Tim Hopkins was a gangland hard-man who went around duffing people up and bought Heaven 17 records in Debenhams. You can't even buy records in Debenhams! I am disturbed. Moira: > Speaking of Glasgow, I have to say that the 13th Note is one of my favorite > places in the whole wide world. Anyone who lives in or has been to Glasgow > (and also the 13th Note) will agree with me because it's one of those > undeniable truths. This is an undeniable truth, cos it's also one of my favouritest places in the whole universe. Where else can you find the chorus to "Race for the Prize" scrawled on the toilet door? To the one person that really annoys, sorry. And ha, ha. Fiona: > i still > never learnt my times tables after all its best efforts, and look at > me now - a maths student!!! (well half of one anyway) What's your other half? I'm guessing it's an otter, but I could be wrong. Imagine having an otter's hind quarters. You'd be able to swim quite well, although you'd probably have to have some sort of operation if you wanted to walk upright. An ice-breaker at parties, however. "Yes, I'm in telecommunications.........oh, and I have the bum of an otter". "I notice you're half otter; does this entitle you to extra benefits?" "You'd think, wouldn't you?" Apparently scientists have just found some rare hairy-nosed otters, which they thought were extinct. Which is good. Michele: > This made me think about the Beats, and what was happening then... and it > made me think of today and things how they are, and why it looks like some > periods of time are more "intense" or "exciting" than others. I was thinking about this, about how I often think I would have liked to be the age I am now when the Smiths were around or when REM started, but then I thought hang on a sec, if I was ten years younger I bet in ten years time I would want to be this age now, and enjoy seeing the heyday of B&S more than anything else. I think you understand what I mean. I'm sure I could put in a quote by Elizabeth Smart or someone about nothing else existing except NOW, but I'm too stupid to think of one. Erica: > There was a huge JELLY WRESTLING contest at school yesterday What kind of school do you go to, Scarlet dear? Does this kind of thing happen at schools around the country, or is it only Erica's twisted place of learning? Toby: > B n S/ B n S Tee > I only ve Tigermilk,TBWTAS and TIJAMRS. > I luv B n S so much > Wanna get the Tee. It is a good tee for a good band. I think Blur's Tee > is Bad Tee for a Good Band. Some Oasis Tee is Good Tee for a bad band. I just need someone to explain this to me, if possible. Does it have something to do with golf? Paul: > Go and buy tompaulin's 7" on action records (www.action-records.co.uk) > It's called ballad of the bootboys b/w wedding song. I've never heard it but I agree. I'm guessing the drumming is very good. After hearing of the Daily Record appeal I suddenly have the urge to send them an old beer mat with the words "Fuck You" scrawled over it. I don't know why. Word of mouse activism: good! DMC UK: > The Foxgloves were also tops - their first electric set provoking an > entirely spontaneous & unrehearsed "Judas!" "I don't believe you, you're a > liar!" exchange between Trousers & Hopkins. I only repeat this cos it's the funniest thing I've read in ages. However, though most people believe the gig actually took place in The Poetry Cafe in London, it actually "happened" in a chip shop in Swindon. Ellen: > amused to find that you're all spelling english like the children i > teach at school- "grate", "gurl". As I always say, if you can't trust Sarah Clarke and Alex Chilton, who can you trust? Not me anyway. I feel I should leave you with something thought-provoking and profound, but I can only think of this: If the moon is made of cheese, couldn't we use it to trap giant space-mice? Alasdair XX "The copy and paste bonanza boy" "Surprisingly light as a feather" +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: sigh...followed by lots of complaining
by Denise Power 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

oh hello there young list, I've had the worst day. Without going into detail, because I can't , I'm not legally bound to (yes, to those of you who know - that little discreet matter of mine has hit the academic coucil , I know I know, I brought about my own downfall, shut up okay) - sheesh, anyway, this little legal fracas of mine is going to affect just 1/3 of my MA mark, and it won't be entirely discredited like I thought but still, the shame and humiliation that I had to endure was not worth it. I have a greek test coming up and asked my teacher for some help, because I am too terrifed of the swots (its not as much fun as it looks being the class clown/rebel/sitter-down-the-backer) and in front of the cameras he said, yes certainly and then ten minutes later (the agreed time for consultation) he said fuck off. Well obviously he put it subtley but I felt like crying and teenagely (its a word) saying, "Okay (sob) it doesn't matter. So I whinged to various people and got lost in the maths -physics dept - very scary place, never even knew it existed, and met up with my friends, quite by accident. now it gets complicated. Last summer, a friend of mine kissed my ex boyfriend which I thought was a terribly immoral thing to do and we fell out and never spoke again. Last weekend she claims I totally blanked her on the street. Strangely at the exact same time, I was walking through a different part of town and saaw a girl who looked quite like her but not enough to scowl at. Now I'm in trouble for blanking her even though I didn't. My lookalike did, and I'm renowned for having lookalikes. Everyone I meet for the first time says, oh I'm sure I met you before. I used to lie and say, welll you know the never forget video by take that, I'm the girl sitting in the field with her friends leaning backwards with war paint on her face. They always make a half smile then and go, well I think its from something else, eh did you used to go to the grove ? and I said yes and then we consent that we probably kissed in our youth but anyway...huge digression from being a misery guts; back to being a misery guts. Now I've been kissing my friend;s brother because well it started as a move on his part to shut me up one night and turned into festive high jinks and then became a slightly regular feature except it was totally illegal because my friend really disappproved , claiming it was for my own good but it wasn't it was just selfishness. Well I exerted a little bit of selfishness myself because on his last night (he has moved 30,000 miles away for two years - yes I know the effect I have on them) I hogged him all to myself. Apparently his family got very upset by his disappearance trick and are very upset and angry with me. This anger and upset is being channelled through one member of the family who decides to vent huge frustrations my way and generally say hurtful stuff. Even though I know I was wrong too. Other friends think I should just apologise to her and in a way that would be very easy but at the same time, were I more argumentative a person I would fight along these lines, if she didn;t object so much to the whole me and her brother fling in the first place, we wouldn't have had to go underground and I woudln't have had any reason to hog him. I'm also in trouble with another friend who had a bad fall and a knock on the head the previous weekend which resulted in a trip to hospital which she neglected to tell her family about, which I thought was my duty as head blabber to do so now I am in deep trouble for that too. And my last single friend has tied the knot and has crossed that very annoying threshold of being in love and putting the boyfriend first. And I'm in work on my own tonight. At least my hat and gloves and scarf match. They are a very becoming shade of dark blue which "brings out the colour of my eyes" apparently. You passsed with honours if you read down this far. if you can answer this question , you get a first : what is the friends brothers name ? answers on a postcard please. _____________________________________________________________________________ Denise Power. Yeah, I changed the sig, way too pretentious for unrelated posts. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: one of these things first
by blair hicks 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

dearest list, gloomy, gloomy weather this week, especially for the lone star state. i've christened this "nick drake appreciation week", and have been ramming taped copies of "pink moon" and "bryter layter" down the throats of all my friends, who seem pleasantly surprised, if not somewhat frightened by my sudden outburst of generosity. it's been so nice recieving mail from several of you about my transformers mailing list. if i had my way, you'd all recieve a suitcase full of small, unmarked currency, to spend on whatever you pleased. so much love! i finally got around to purchasing a rachel's record this week, and found it to be amazing. truly beautiful stuff. sorry that i haven't had more to say, but my very good friend has just gotten engaged to an internet aquaintance that she's only known for a month, so i've had some things to deal with. you've been lovely for listening. bundle up and stay warm, kids. fondly, blair p.s. i've been trying to use the sinister chat room, but as i am a blair of very little brain, i've had quite a bit of difficulty. if anyone could e-mail me with some sage-like advice concerning all this chatting business, it would be very much appreciated. _______________________________________________________ Get 100% FREE Internet Access powered by Excite Visit http://freeworld.excite.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: one of these things first
by blair hicks 01 Feb '00

01 Feb '00

dearest list, gloomy, gloomy weather this week, especially for the lone star state. i've christened this "nick drake appreciation week", and have been ramming taped copies of "pink moon" and "bryter layter" down the throats of all my friends, who seem pleasantly surprised, if not somewhat frightened by my sudden outburst of generosity. it's been so nice recieving mail from several of you about my transformers mailing list. if i had my way, you'd all recieve a suitcase full of small, unmarked currency, to spend on whatever you pleased. so much love! i finally got around to purchasing a rachel's record this week, and found it to be amazing. truly beautiful stuff. sorry that i haven't had more to say, but my very good friend has just gottne engaged to an internet aquaintance that she's only known for a month, so i've had some things to deal with. you've been lovely for listening. bundle up and stay warm, kids. fondly, blair p.s. i've been trying to use the sinister chat room, but as i am a blair of very little brain, i've had quite a bit of difficulty. if anyone could e-mail me with some sage-like advice concerning all this chatting business, it would be very much appreciated. _______________________________________________________ Get 100% FREE Internet Access powered by Excite Visit http://freeworld.excite.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)missprint.org". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)missprint.org". WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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