chris leonard wrote about some guy pulling his pud in the public
toilets:
i have a friend who used to work as security at the local j.c. penney's.
now ever since i was a kid i've gone into the restrooms and seen things
scribbled on the walls like "be here at noon on tuesday for a good time"
or "3:00 wednesday equals a blowjob"...you know things like that. but i
never believed them.
until my friend's daily duty became flushing the scribblers out of the
restroom on a daily basis.
apparently, if you arrive in these toilets at special times on certain
days and either stomp your foor twice or clear your throat, you get,
shall we say, a special treat from one of your toilet neighbors.
and my friend has found polaroids, too. people take the pictures and
leave them on the sink for all to see.
so, next time you're in a public toilet, clear that throat, or dance a
little jig on the sticky floor............or don't.
-brad
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today i walked home without a coat on. finally, spring..
i was discussing belle and sebastian with someone last night and he told me
that the first time he heard them he thought that stuart sounded like he had
a japanese accent.. the song was "stars of track and field".. i can sort of
understand why he thought this and i was wondering if any of you ever had
that impression..
since everyone is mentioning first shows.. well, uh, my first real concert
was when i was in grade 3. i saw tiffany and the new kids on the block at
canada's wonderland (which is an amusement park with roller coasters and
fake mountains and stuff). i just wanted to see tiffany but i didnt know who
nkotb was. ack. have i revealed too much about myself?
oh.. and...
>and a big, big cheer to jon parker cos he sends cool packages & anyone
>who hasn't seen the century of fakers bookie is missing out on something
>way fab.
i am missing out on something way fab. can someone email me the details
about this? thanks..
lalala, i guess that's it for now
aurevoir!
teri xoxo
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Just do and download this for your PC:
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Battlefield/8875/download.html
you WON'T be disappointed.
JJ
xx
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Right you lot.
I'd really like to have something nice to say, but unfortunately i
don't.
Paul has done the most fantastic job possible with this list and i think
it's an insult to him as to how we are all using it at present.
Of course people are going to have differing opinions and of course
people are going to want to air said opinions, but we should all do as
Paul suggests and "pause for 10 seconds and think of cliff before
hitting that send button".
I can't say that i am without blame too, but after flaming someone on
the list, i received a reply from this person and their original remark
... well, i won't bore you with the details, but needless to say, i felt
pretty shit for having a go IN PUBLIC in the first place.
I'm bored with the list at the moment. It upsets me as it used to be a
source of happiness in my days. Maybe i'll just stick to posting
official stuff on the list from now on ...
I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but i do hope that those who are
abusing this "privilege" get the message. Can we all take a leaf out of
Susannah's book ... revenge is sweet, but does not have to be nasty and
horrible.
Don't get me wrong, i love the current non-b&s topics (fave gigs
especially, even though i'm too embarrassed to admit mine), but the
flaming and fights just have to stop. I can't be bothered to organise a
picnic or tell everone about b&s news if all i'm going to get is grief
and a zillion questions demanding info.
I 'spose i kind of feel that "the providers" are being used. I don't
demand that we (paul, david & myself) be treated with respect, but maybe
we should all just be thankful that the band exist and make such
beautiful and inspiring music that we use as the soundtrack to our
lives. (notable honours must also go to the extra special keepers of
the faith andy dean, the duke and wicked susie).
oh fuck, am i making any sense?
i can't make anybody do anything and i don't mean for any of this to
sound like a threat, but things have got to change if you want the list
to continue in the way that it has been in the past.
that's me finished then :) ohmigod they killed kenny!
cheers,
Katrina.
--
********************************************************************
jeepster recordings ltd. - jeepster.uk(a)virgin.net
217 canalot, 222 kensal road, london, w10 5bn
ph - 0181 964 9432, fax - 0181 964 8600
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evenin' spacebots...
i'm still a wee bit confused about what i can and can't write about here,
but i don't think anyone'll get too pissed off with me telling yous about a
wierd (slightly) B&S dream i had this morning...
...i was walking down a pink coloured road and at the side was a wee stall
selling strawberries and old Shakin' Stevens albums. Isobelle was the
person behind the stall and she tried to sell me a copy of 'This Ol' House'
(or something) But before i had time to speak to her and ask her why she
was only wearing her pants and a Throwing Muses t-shirt, Ming the Merciless
(out of Flash Gordon) appeared and started chasing me down the street and
into the Glasgow underground. I couldn't get the ticket machine to work and
was quite scared...
then my cat (Whisky) jumped on me and woke me up, so i don't know what
would have happened next. Ah well.
hope this didn't stray too much from the path of the righteous and holy
belle and sebastian (insert sarky/comedy type symbol here, i don't know
what they're all supposed to be...)
luv always,
Debbie xxx.
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Well, as we're all in the mood for getting jolly and happy, I have to tell
you about Bob's Day, which incidentally occurs tomorrow.
My friend has this brother who is rather bizarre. Anyway, one day, he made
the discovery of Bob's day, in which you send a card or another form of
message to the one you love or feel admiration for, and it will brighten up
your day. Bob's day occurs every second Friday, and tomorrow is Bob's day.
Just in case you haven't picked that up, here's what it says on the back of
a Bob's day card:
--------------------------------------------
A Note From The Manufacturer
--------------------------------------------
It has come to the attention of the manufacturer that it is a complete shag
having to wait for Valentine's day until you can send someone a Valentine's
card, to let them know they have an admirer. Having realised this fact, the
manufacturer has resolved to remedy the unfortunate situation by creating
Bob's day, with it's associated cards etc.
Bob's day occurs every other Friday, thus meaning that the maximum length of
time and admirer should conceivably have to wait in anguish is thirteen
days. The manufacturer hopes that this will be an acceptable period of time
(in any case, it's better than a year). It is the intention of the
manufacturer that Bob's day becomes not only a way to express amorous
feelings, but also a novel way to send a message, or to generally brighten
up someone's day.
The manufacturer hopes that this card has brightened up your day.
Well, there you go.
Problem solved.
jon g.
jon.g(a)btinternet.com - http://www.btinternet.com/~jon.g/
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My friend forwarded this to me yesterday. In light of recent events, I think it's quite funny. Of course, I forward this only in good humor, not out of spite.
Paige
>>>
>>> W E L S H F R I C T I O N
>>>
>>> The Scene: John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson sitting in car
>>> talking.
>>> (Pulp Fiction music fades off...)
>>>
>>> S: Ok, so tell me again about the Welsh.
>>>
>>> J: Whaddya wanna know?
>>>
>>> S: Beastiality is legal there right?
>>>
>>> J: Yeah, its legal but it ain't a 100% legal. I mean you can't
>>> just
>>> walk
>>> into a field, pick up a sheep and start pumpin' away. They
>>> want
>>> you to shag sheep in your home or certain designated places.
>>>
>>> S: And those are valleys?
>>>
>>> J: Ok, it breaks down like this: its legal to buy a sheep, its
>>> legal
>>> to own a sheep and if you're a farmer its legal to sell or loan
>>> sheep, its ILLEGAL to fuck sheep in public but...but...but
>>> that
>>> doesn't matter 'cos, getta loada this, the police in Wales
>>> are
>>> too stupid to notice you've got a sheep hanging off your
>>> dick. I
>>> mean that's the intellect the police in Wales DON'T have.
>>>
>>> S: Arrr man. I'm not goin', that's all there is too it, I'm
>>> never
>>> fuckin' goin'.
>>>
>>> J: Nah man, you'd hate it the most. But do know what the
>>> funniest
>>> thing about Wales is?
>>>
>>> S: What?
>>>
>>> J: Its the little differences, I mean they got the same kinda
>>> people
>>> over there as we got here, but there they're a little different.
>>>
>>> S: Example.
>>>
>>> J: Ok. You can walk into a Movie theatre in Cardiff and order a
>>> lump
>>> of coal, and I'm not talkin' about no paper cup, I'm talkin'
>>> about a
>>> LUMP of coal. And in Swansea you can buy coal in McDonalds.
>>> Do
>>> you know what they call a 1/4 pounder with cheese in Wales?
>>>
>>> S: They don't call it a 1/4 pounder with cheese?
>>>
>>> J: Nah man, they don't have fractions, they wouldn't know what
>>> the
>>> fuck a 1/4 pounder is.
>>>
>>> S: So whadda they call it?
>>>
>>> J: A (assumes welsh accent) "Ham and Cheese Sandwhichchchch".
>>>
>>> S: A Ham and Cheese Sandwichchchchch?
>>>
>>> J: That's right.
>>>
>>> S: And whadda they call a Big Mac?
>>>
>>> J: A Big Macs a Big Mac but there they call it a Bich Machch
>>> (accent
>>> again).
>>>
>>> S: (imitating accent badly) A Bichch Machchchchchchch?
>>>
>>> J: Ha ha ha
>>>
>>> S: Whadda they call a Whopper?
>>>
>>> J: I don't know, I didn't go outside. Do you know what they put
>>> on
>>> French Fries in Swansea instead of ketchup?
>>>
>>> S: What?
>>>
>>> J: Coal.
>>>
>>> S: Arrr man...
>>>
>>> J: I've seen 'em do it man, they fuckin' drown 'um in that shit.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> And keeping on the theme of Welsh and their little pastimes...
>>>
>>>
>>> Two welsh farmers were talking about their sheep. The first
>>> farmer says "I'm not having any luck getting these sheep to breed."
>>>
>>> The second farmer replies "You have to do it yourself if you want
>>> any
>>> results."
>>>
>>> "What do you mean?" the first farmer asks curiously.
>>>
>>> "It's simple. Load them up in your lorry, take them around behind
>>> the
>>> barn, and do the business. Wait about three days, and you should
>>> see
>>> them start to act peculiarly."
>>>
>>> So the first farmer thinks about this, then decides he's going to
>>> do
>>> it. The next day, he loads the sheep up in the lorry, drives them
>>> out
>>> behind the barn and proceeds to screw each one in succession.
>>>
>>> Three days pass and he's sitting in the kitchen with his wife.
>>>
>>> "Look out of the window and tell me if those sheep are acting
>>> peculiarly." says the farmer to his wife.
>>>
>>> "Nothing unusual" the wife responds.
>>>
>>> Upset, the farmer loads them up in the lorry the next day, drives
>>> them
>>> out behind the barn, and goes to town on them again. Three more
>>> days
>>> pass.
>>>
>>> "Those sheep doing anything funny?" says the farmer to his wife,
>>> sitting in the kitchen.
>>>
>>> "Nope." she responds.
>>>
>>> Pissed off, the farmer decides to give it one more try. The very
>>> next
>>> day he loads them up in the lorry, drives them out behind the
>>> barn,
>>> and really screws their brains out. Three days pass, and once
>>> again
>>> he's sitting in the kitchen with his wife.
>>>
>>> "Those sheep doing anything peculiar?" he asks, hopefully.
>>>
>>> "As a matter of fact, yes.", replies the wife. "They're all
>>> sitting in
>>> the lorry, and one of them is honking the horn."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where
>>> the
>>> following people are stranded:
>>> * 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
>>> * 2 French men and 1 French woman
>>> * 2 German men and 1 German woman
>>> * 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
>>> * 2 English men and 1 English woman
>>> * 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
>>> * 2 Swedish men and 1 Swedish woman
>>> * 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
>>> One month later on this beautiful deserted island in the middle of
>>> nowhere!
>>> * One Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
>>> * The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily
>>> together in
>>> a "menage a trois"---.
>>> * The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they
>>> alternate with the German woman.
>>> * The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman
>>> is
>>> cleaning and cooking for them.
>>> * The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to
>>> the
>>> English woman.
>>> * The Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look
>>> at the
>>> woman and started swimming.
>>> * The two Swedish men are contemplating the virtues of suicide
>>> while
>>> the woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own and the
>>> true
>>> nature of feminism. But at least it's not snowing and the taxes
>>> are
>>> low.
>>> * The Irish began by dividing their island Northside-Southside and
>>> setting up a distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the
>>> picture, cause it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of
>>> coconut-whiskey, but at least they know the English aren't getting
>>> any...
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Blimey.
It's a world war out there. Katrina was spot on of course, it was a
very humbling letter. If I did flame, and OK, I did ... a little, I
think most of us have done at some point, I have now emailed the
victim, and hopefully, although I can't see us becoming lovers, it's
cleared up a bit now. So that's a happy ending. In future I pledge
that I will love and cherish each and every one, even if some people
forgot my birthday ...
I'm still waiting for ink polaroids from various Americans who, I
gather, have been meeting. Laurel, Megan, Ben ... Chris, your play
was great.
So yes, Belle and Sebastian. I was listening to Modern Rock Song on
the way to work yesterday, and I can't even begin to describe how good
it sounded. You know, just when you think it can't get any better, it
suddenly does. Sometimes it's good to go away from them for a little
while and then just play one song, give it your undivided attention,
it's almost as good as the first time. Try it.
I'm going to Sweden, by the way. In two weeks. I'm very excited. An
Swedes on the list should come to a club called K (at Hannas, I
think), where I will playing records on April 11th (I think). So come
and say hello.
That's all.
Love Tag xx
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ok, my messages are perhaps being censored, as my other one didn't
appear on the last digest....i dont care... *sobs*
HONEY!!!!!
Everybody else told me off for writing about politics and now everyone
else is and have THEY been shouted at? NOOOOOOO!
DOUBLE STANDARDS!
I HATE YOU ALL YOU SHALLOW VEGETABLE SHEEP!
Anyway.
THe Duke mentioned about organising *proper* protests. Well. at the
current moment our college is organising petitions to be sent to County
hall to protest against the Abolition of Free Transport. the last march
was SUCh a failure, we don't know if there wil be an organised demo, but
we will have lots of signatures, we have been writing to everyone.
The problem is the trendy dudes. We should tell them that nasty man who
rules the country is banning Kappa. Lord, i hate people.
NOT all students are apatheitc, some if fact give a very BIG shit. Its
only the priviliged uncaring that don't. We were talking today, I think
that it is RIGHT to challenge "da system", but NOT by never doing
anything and dropping out. What the FUCK does that achieve? NOTHING!
I have a few friends who are planning to drop out of college. I have
nothing to say to them anymore. They consider it "social control". The
only way to get away from society and control is to kill yourself quite
frankly. There are people EVERYWHERE.
And I am also pissed off (hey i'm on a roll) with pretentious people
thining they know EVERYTHING about P!O!P! when they bleedin' well don't
buster. Yes, you LOVE Pop music. So its the most important thing in your
life. It is NOT just another thing to elevate your social standings
with, another thing to make yourself more self-righteous and pretentious
about. POP is inspirational, FUN, beautiful, Sad, you can find ANY
emotion in POP you want.
My point being?
I'M GOING NOW BYE!!!!!!
Sarah starryone!
mmmm......waffles....
http://www.elsato97.demon.co.uk
*********************************
* FEATHER BOAS & NAPALM ZINE *
* C'MON! PUNCH THE AIR! *
* One Pound and A5 SAE *
* 9 Westfield Drive, Warton *
* Preston, Lancs *
* PR4 1ED *
*********************************
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Did anyone else read the interview in Puncture (issue # 40)? The usual
stuff, pretty positive on B&S, and a pic of Stuart M. and the lovely
Isobel.
Love to all,
Chrispy
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