February 2000 - Sinister

Sinister: belle and sebastian live in a beautiful mansion
by kerry 25 Feb '00

25 Feb '00

the subject here is referring to an odd dream i had last night. quite b&s related. not sure how it happened, but i ended up at a large mansion, with formal gardens and a picnic table squarely placed in the yard. belle and sebastian lived there. i mean, all of them. even stu d. he was there, you know. me, him, beans geddes, and two girls i know from chicago who don't listen to belle and sebastian were sitting around the picnic table and making fun of chris's legs. i'm not kidding. i kept sticking up for him, saying he had nice legs, but stu kept putting him down, all in jest, of course. i woke up and almost instantly my eyes fell on the twattybus (cripes, does anybody here even remember that nickname anymore?) poster placed on the slanted wall above/next to my bed, and i got confused as to what the hell i had been dreaming about anyway. so a sinister village, eh? i'd like to run the microbiology lab at the hospital, please. but if that's not twee enough, maybe i could be the nursery marm. you know, look after the kiddies until they're allowed into the village at large. or maybe i'd run a petting zoo filled with goats and lambs and horses and ducks and cats and dogs and anything else that's not too likely to bite you if you touch them. there'd be anteaters and lemurs, too. because i like anteaters and lemurs a lot. anteaters look like great big muppets, you know. they do. as you may or may not have guessed, i'm a bit stressed from doing my thesis (i can hear you mumbling "is she still going on about that?", so hush up and be nice), and i swear if have to read another article about active efflux of bile salts by e coli i'm gonna puke all my bile salts right up. which reminds me of an amusing conversation i had the other night. a friend and i were discussing breath fresheners, and i told him about my confusion with "breath asure" the pill you swallow that's supposed to freshen your breath from the inside. here's my problem: if you swallow it, it ceases having anything to do with your breath the minute it passes by the larynx. i said that perhaps it relied on odors travelling up the esophagus. my friend noted that if odors from our stomachs were always coming out of our mouths, our breath would smell a lot worse than it does. so we decided that those little breath asure tabs are pure bunk. i still like thinking about what the world would be like if we could actually smell what's going on inside us, because it's got to be just horrid. all those acids and foodstuffs and bacteria grinding around inside us, making stanky odors and keeping us alive all at once. with that said i'm going to have some more apple juice and get back to work. -kerry "roses are red / and ready for plucking / you're sixteen / and ready for high school" -kurt vonnegut, _breakfast_of_champions_ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: we're manufacturing hearts...
by Valerie Solanas 25 Feb '00

25 Feb '00

hello and a big raising the roof for c-Dog tha indie kool queen, baby, back in black. as far as nappies, i mean sinister village, yeah....it's shaping up. i had this brainstorm last night. I could run the animal shelter and the village riding stable! and support it by my artistic and publishing endeavors, writing and cartooning in my spare time and holding fund raisers. we also need an organic farm collective/natural foods market, and alternative energy sources to make our village efficient and revolutionary. Velocity, sorry if i confused you. i'm schizophrenic sometimes and so i constantly change the names on my email, so georgine and LJ are one and the same. (it's a little gay thing, you wouldn't understand) or maybe you would. yeah, and i can run the lisa and chelsea salon, maybe it could be just part time, and sort of attached to like the bookstore, or one of the coffee shops or whatever. i only say that because i would definitely not be the one for doing administration, supply and inventory like you would need to run an actual cafe. i'm more of the idea woman. i'm feeling motivated. i ahve new comics going. i'm looking for a new job since the one i was prospecting wwas being rude and not letting me in on the story, so screw them. i'm getting involved in teh big gay things. i saw lots of cute girls on campus today, and felt reasonably okay considering that i look pretty disgusting today. a couple days ago, it was great, i finally found someone who agrees with me about lili taylors crushworthiness!! and we sat drooling over janeane garofalo together. it was so much fun, GOD i needed that. I wanted to say to the person i dont' remember what your name is who theorized that I was behind the arsemuscles fiasco, you provided me with out=loud laughter, as cruel as it was. i might be going to see a band play that is all lesbian. maybe. i dont' know if i feel up to going out in public. right now i have this immense sense of physical relief at being alone for once in this day. My friend katy just told me today that my body language is extremely girly. now i'm rather embarrassed. i always thought i was pretty androgynous. maybe i am truly femmy. i was thinking last night, i'm just a little girl who loves horses. and waht's wrong with that? so what if i live in my own fantasy world about 60% of the time. the trick is finding a way to make a living with that. someone quoted Adorable in thier subject line the other day, and that was splendid. mary timony is my co-pilot, LJ http://members.tripod.com/rebelstrange http://members.tripod.com/rebelstrange/buxoms.html ***The Buxoms: Svengali-free since 1998!!*** ______________________________________________________ Sent by FortuneCity Mail at http://www.fortunecity.com Join now and receive 20Mb of free web space and E-mail +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: just a quickie...you know what i mean
by caroline smith 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

hello again, i just wanted to know if there would be a wh smith in the wee sinister village, if so i have much experience in this area. but it must stock ink polaroids/nalda said and other b+s related stories so i can sneek a peek when i am meant to be rearrangaing the chart books, if thats alright with everyone that is. personally i think a second hand book shop would be much more in keeping. but, someone's probly already said that. i think thats everything, again sorry for verbal inadequacies, still finding the old e-mail format a little difficult, please forgive me with lots and lots and lots of love caroline xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (ooh ooh just one more thing, does anybody know what has happened to broadcast, they were playing atp but don't seem to be any more - i'm gutted, also everyone listen to ben and jason, its lovely!) ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: ooh ooh!
by JENOWL22＠aol.com 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

Hello sinister peeps! Firstly, is there a sinister village librarian. And if there's not, can I be one. And if there is then I'll just be a schoolgirl and help out at the library on weekends. In real life I live in the library. Well, not really, I just hide there at weekends, or after school. You can sit in one of the big comfy chairs, and read or even sleep. I once had a librarian wake me up to tell me the library was closing. The following conversation happened in the school lunch queue. Cool Girl (looking at badge): Belle and Sebastian? Me: They're a group Her: Oh I've heard of them. So you like their wee song? Me: Which wee song would that be? Her: The one that goes "ooh stick you". So I burst out laughing, and wished I had a friend with me to laugh as well. Last night I didn't straighten my hair, so now I look like little orphan Annie. And I have a new pinafore. Do you ever get it, when your walking along and people yell stuff at you, and you don't turn round, and then they spit on you, and try to make you turn round and yell back just so they can tell on you? On the subjects of schools, I failed my music test because someone was going to beat me up after school, and I was so worried. But it turned out ok because I avoided them, so I failed it for nothing. Aren't buses cool? I out my b&s tee shirt in the wash and it turned out blue. Oh dear. When I was putting up birthday posters for my friend of tigger, a boy asked me why. I said "because it's her birthday and she's obsessed with tigger". He said,"I'm obsessed with lesbians, but you don't see me getting posters of lesbians put up on my birthday." It's his birthday next week, does anyone have any lesbian pictures? Bye everyone. Jen xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

2 1

Sinister: [explosive report] [even bigger explosive report]
by Alexander Borgia 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

[explosive report] The official report of the Toronto Sinister Meet Up was released today having not received any objection to the official version of events. They can be found here: http://www.angelfire.com/journal/sinibear/cajun.html [even bigger explosive report] The translations bureau of the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, & Nephew, & Son today released more documents from the stolen diary pages of Maurice Bear. Officials also announced that recently the firm had purchased the long lost famous masterpiece painting by the deceased Claude von Bear, Maurice Bear - Aristocrat in Exile. The purchase was made on e-Bay for an undisclosed amount but insiders say it was around £14 million. A company spokesperson indicated that the firm expected to recover the cost by issuing a limited edition print with the edition limited to 25 million with each one hand numbered and signed by the artist. Currently the painting is on display here: http://www.angelfire.com/journal/sinibear/maurice.html "Les Mémoires et les Pensées de Maurice Bear" --- In this explosive edition we see the great Maurice Bear recall his winter as a trapper wandering the frozen tundra with empty traps and only frozen berries and his deep thoughts maintaining his will to survive life in the desolation. And much, much more. (translations from the French courtesy of the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, & Nephew, & Son.) Maurice Bear - aristocrat in exile. Living in Texas where everything really is bigger. Without oil wells or cattle herds he is excluded from the societies of the elite. Deeply in love, he sets his thoughts to paper. We stole them. There she goes again, Mademoiselle la petite Jamais. No longer is she Never, she really is my little dove. I have grown fond of my nightly sponge baths. She tickles me with the bubbles and we laugh and we laugh and we laugh. We lounge around and languish in our love in front of a fireplace and listen to the hail hitting against the window. I tell her about my winter on the tundra. I recall my winter as a trapper wandering the frozen tundra with empty traps and only frozen berries and my deep thoughts maintaining my will to survive life in the desolation. Every day I would check the traps and they would be empty. I was stuck in a miserable cabin with no light and no rabbits. Only the fire in the barrel stove. Again she has used those hand cuffs. This time she left still chained to the bed when she left. Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. Does she not know about the time when there was no rabbits and my bottom got frozen with a trap stuck to my fur and I had to wait four days for it to thaw off? I was dragging the chain in my deep thoughts for many weeks in the howling desolation. Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. She is afraid, my petite-Jamais. My public wants me, and she is afraid, my petite-Jamais. She fears that I will run away with one of those adoring fans. Does she not know that I lover her so, my little dove? Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. Maybe I should run away. This land called Sinister Village sounds like a very posh queendom. It must be because their Queen Mother is Miss Honey, and their Queen is Velocity Farewell. Ah, such a lovely name. Perhaps it is French? She conjures in my mind images of red jacket riding outfits and tan shapely breeches. I will languish by the fireside with this Queen and tell her my tales about my winter on the tundra when I was left with only my deep thoughts and frozen berries to maintain my will to live. Oh the pain, the pain. I cannot leave you my petite-jamais. My heart belongs to you. Oh the pain, the pain. The pain. Here she comes again. She is naked. I see her coming to me. Yes my little dove. Alas, she is coming for my sponge bath. We shall laugh and laugh and laugh. "Take me! You make me mad woman! Let me dive upon you and rub my furry body all over your pearly nakedness! Chain me to your bed! Chain me to your heart!" Yes my little dove, yes. (c) 2000 Maurice Bear - Les Mémoires et les Pensées de Maurice Bear [business affairs] An announcement sent the markets into a flurry of activity that has finally settled down with all markets showing gains. Rabbit Brand (tm), a subsidiary of Bear, Bear, Bear, & Nephew, & Son, the rabbit supply service announced today that it is contracting with Lixi's Pimping Woodland Mammals to have supplied 20,000 rabbits for use in their lavatory division. This is expected to create some new jobs in Sinister Village in the commercial laundry and dry cleaning sector as well as the landscaping business.. Rabbit Brand (tm) has opened up its new marketing campaign to try and corner the rabbit supply market. Promoting as being more environmentally friendly, Rabbit Brand (tm) is trying to convince humans what bears have known for years. Paper kills trees, trees give oxygen and bears like to climb trees. Rabbits live a long time, mow lawns and trim shrubbery, as well as weeding gardens, and they are also more absorbent than paper and wash out clean very easily because shit doesn't stick to their fur. A company spokesman said, "After all, there are a lot of bottoms out there." Alexander +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: attention all belle et sebastianeers
by ThisSuffering＠aol.com 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

alright, los angeles, and southern california people. i want to see all of you respond to this email promptly. its about time we set up a meet up! all us sinisters should get to know each other, and set a day where we can do something.. 'fun'. please let me know where you all are.. cheers carlos xoxox +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: hello
by Marucco, Mike 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

hi. my name is michael and I am new. i like stuart and his band and i don't like capital letters. i don't like punctuation either, but i will use it because of confusion i don't know the rules, so i hope i don't break any and i'm otherwise happy to be in here. if anyone wants to tell me about things and how they work here, it'd be nice to listen. i don't have good stories except when i met richard once and he let me forge stevie jackon's name i liked that. I don't know what a velocity girl is but i'd like to help i can wash dishes and draw things bye now michael +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: top of the whack to you
by mike windisch 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

greetings sinizens gentle and perverse, earlier, Mark *thinking outside the box* C noted that << anyone selling a mailing list of the members of Sinister could expect top whack for it - over a thousand educated, computer-literate, mostly young punters, a marketeer's dream.>> which caused me a moment of reflective amusement pondering some of various manifestations of value that "top whack" holds across this spinning orb... believe you me, some mental pictures, regardless of the profundity of their perversity, are likely best left to dwell in reverie... but TOP WHACK conjures visions of excutive-level booty smacks, or dare I say it, a reverently firm spank upon the derriere of the deity. the highknee of the most high, if you will. on a scarier note, i learned today that in the world of tommorrow, (which as that scarlet afroed orphan is so fond of singing, is only a day away) those geniuses behind cable television will have sufficient demographic information on every amerikan household to individually taylor what adverts are piped into yr boob tube. when this marvel of marketing prowess comes to pass, i can scarcely imagine what sorts of tripe will come streaming out of my idiot box during simpsons commercial breaks. aside from the no brainers - babelaiden beer commercials, credit repair infomercials, and harranging pleas from the Dr. Gene Scott ministeries to send them a box of greenbacks poste haste or suffer immediate and extra uncomfortable damnation- (indian burns, wedgies,titty-twisters, and worse) i'm actually scared to see what sort of filth my demographic profile dredges up... ...fuzzy wuzzy animated characters extolling the virtues of controlled substances, the complimentary best-of box set complete with early demos that comes with every hedge trimming from the Billy Idol lawn care service, and outcall service from the Major Badass chain of short-term personal drill seargants who - as their jingle refrains - will help you get your shit together or feel the love of steel-toed boot leather across that lilly white ass you pantywaist nancy boy, now drop and give me fifty, hup hup hup.... needless to say, boob to the business world on this development. ---------------------- sin-city all this chatter about the sinister hooville makes me pine for bike lanes, cobblestones, open-air rummage sales, a rolling munchie wagon brimming with tomato pesto brie sandwiches farmhouse beer and decriminalized cannibus, friendly bums who can talk for hours about the golden age of hoboing, a bar with a fire pole inside, lots of lovely folks with sly mischevious grins always on their face and romance never far from their minds, happy elderly couples strolling hand in hand and chuckling about how the follies of youth are the fodder for growing old gracefully, community cats that frolic wherever they please and outnumber the tailless two-legged fools who feed them, a real live jug band with washboard and spoon percussion, lots of dodgy-looking alleys that empty out into idyllic meadows and streams, daily columns from nick currie on the diner's placemats, and an innovative calendar that makes everyday both saturday and payday. ---- at any rate, i'm outta steam, so you'll be spared the irono-poetic description of the pigeon's i saw making love on the way to work monday morning. and yes, bob is my uncle windisch ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: me to eternal torture, why don't you. i hate 'subject' lines
by alix campbell 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

Dear you lot, Morning has broken. Actually it did that a good while ago, but I stayed in bed. Now afternoon has, um, crumbled and it^Òs dismal. I feel like a pig shat in my head. I^Òm suffering from something, cos my head is killing me. I want breakfast but I only have 2 potatoes, some pesto, some rice and more tins of plum tomatoes than I^Òll ever use. And two weetabix, but no milk. I woke up when the doorbell went. I picked up the intercom thing and attempted to say hello, but someone with severe bronchitis had possessed my voice. ^ÑHolloway carpets^Ò said the voice at the other end. I peered at the handset for a moment, trying to work out what this meant, before huskily replying ^Ñno thanks^Ò and stumbling back into bed. I have painted my toenails fluorescent pink. It is very cheering on a grim Thursday to awake and remember your toes are neon. My fingernails were the same yesterday, but I had to get rid of it for a job interview in a pet shop. <Lixi stares vaguely out of the window for some time> I think this has turned into a ^Ñdear diary^Ò post. I^Òm sorry. I^Òll move on to more relevant issues. I bought two records yesterday, at a bargain price of 49p each. The first was the Rocky Horror Show soundtrack, because I like the Time Warp, and the second was called ^ÑGerman Beer Drinking Songs^Ò and the sleeve says it^Òs the ^Ñbest beer hall atmosphere ever recorded^Ò. How_could_I resist? I regret not buying the LP of ^ÑIcelandic Independent Bands of the 1980^Òs^Ò that I saw a while back. I want to live in the sinister village too. What I could be however isn^Òt very nice, and some people of glam persuasions already know about this, but I would be a pimp for woodland mammals supplying stoats, dormice, rabbits and badgers to whoever needed them for whatever purpose. I know it^Òs a bit seedy, but it goes on and if I don^Òt do it, someone else will, and you don^Òt know if they^Òll be treating their ferrets as good as I treat mine. So, remember its Lixi^Òs for all your mammalian desires. I could even get some ponies for Tim Hopkins. Alternatively I could be a woman who does. I like tidying. And babysitting, so get procreating. Or a pedant who goes on and on about language structure in an uneducated way, boring everybody. PamB should be hairdresser. MartinR could be the weird person who is convinced he rules the fish people. There should also be a netball team. Arantxa said about her lovely boulangerie idea: so ours will be placed in a very exclusive and difficult to find corner in that Sinisterian village to be, only for its inhabitants.No tourists.Tourists are smelly and wear thick,wolly socks matching orthopedic sandals. Which reminded me of the League of Gentlemen. Which I think is GRATE. A nice LOCAL shop. ^ÑWill heaven be like Swansea?^Ò ^ÑYes Tubs, but bigger^Ò GEORGE DICKIE said: DID I EVER TELL U THAT MY FRIEND WAS NEARLY THE MILKYBAR KID??? My brother used to look like the Milky bar kid. He had glasses and blond hair and I teased him something chronic. I also spent lots of our mutual youth trying to convince him that he had Tourette^Òs syndrome, because he swore a lot and was prone to weird twitching. Now he^Òs stronger than me and I have to be nice to him. It^Òs ok though, he likes B&S. Chri_sto_pher said: PS. Starry, your mind scares me! It scares me too sometimes, but its ok, she^Òs quite harmless. Aren^Òt you dear? ) Bobface says: ^Ñgerroffa moi larnd, or Mussus Barbfice wull fetch ^Ñer rollin^Ò pen, than yarl be sarry. Arr^Ò ( <phone rings, tomorrow night I shall be handing out flyers for BlowUp> <Tom returns and puts the Rocky Horror Soundtrack on> I suppose I should get dressed. I^Òm hungry, hungry, send me some food please.. Love Lixi "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's an 8 inch anal probe, silly" ~ DNaMagazine ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Milk
by Robert Foster 24 Feb '00

24 Feb '00

Bloody hell, typical, coming over here, nicking our jobs, nicking our women. I'm afraid I was going to be the village window cleaner, but that's okay, I don't mind changing. Instead I can be, erm, a window dirtier, you know, to keep you in business. No, hang on, that doesn't sound right. Oh, I could be the village idiot, nope, don't like that either. Oh I know, I could be the milkman, that job also has interesting good points, Every morning I could deliver my milk. Right on peoples doorsteps, I knew someone who took a dump on someone's doorstep, but alas, the only thing I shall be leaving is my lovely fresh milk. Be careful, when you drink it don't let it dribble down your chin, and be careful not to get one of Robert's Milky Tashes, those can be so embarrassing. I also could deliver cream, yoghurt and possibly a small Varity of cheeses. Be rest assured that a web site will follow where you can place your order, after all, there's only so much milk I can deliver in only one day. Robin said << As I've been beaten to the position of village boulangerer by Arantxa I think I'll have to be the village windowcleaner, having endless saucy adventures with my squeegie stick. Like, right, there could be a time when I'm cleaning a window and the vicar opens the window to show his mother-in-law the garden and I accidentally clean the vicar's face by mistake! And there could be another time when I'm cleaning some windows and I accidentally drop my bucket of water and it lands on the vicar's head! And there could be another time when I'm cleaning a window and inside there's a woman having a bath! With big knockers! And she's the vicar's wife! >> +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0